A most difficult thread- helping a friend, Bill Hedin

[novakjr]

Wow! Did I read the total amount donated correctly in the other thread? around 5k? Although I, myself, wasn't able to contribute(due to my own current financial mess), I must say that your guys' generosity makes me proud to be a member of this board...

Now before too many people get bent up about some purchases, we have no idea what the total amount of these expenses were/are. Or how much help Bill may have needed. It was basically a blind donation, with no set goal. I think that was the point, to help Bill as much as possible with these expenses and beyond. Were y'all expecting change if the total cost was exceeded?

Keep in mind that I don't think that there's a right or wrong way to view the situation. I won't judge anyone who disagrees. This is just my take..

[Peter_Spaeth]

Even if other people feel like Peter Ullman, I doubt many are going to say it, but I think his point of view is legitimate and well-stated and with due regard for the obvious sensitivities of the situation. As previously stated, the issue is not Bill's baseball card purchases. Nobody is judging him for that, or should. The issue, and there is no way to say this delicately, is whether the premise behind Leon's and Barry's very thoughtful fundraising -- Bill's statement that he would have to sell his collection to finance his wife's funeral -- was true. Nobody except Bill knows, but Leon was certainly right to inform people that the slew of ebay purchases at least raised a question. Many people might have contributed even if they had not thought it was a matter of dire need, but I suspect that others would not have.

[Matthew H]

Peter, that's fair, but it's good advice to not give based on condition. If I were worried about intentions, then I'd not do it. Giving without condition is sincere, IMO, and to look at it from another perspective, some of us might think that raising certain questions will taint the gift we gave, without condition, to help someone in a difficult time.

-Matt

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Matthew H

Peter, that's fair, but it's good advice to not give based on condition. If I were worried about intentions, then I'd not do it. Giving without condition is sincere, IMO, and to look at it from another perspective, some of us might think that raising certain questions will taint the gift we gave, without condition, to help someone in a difficult time.

-Matt

Matt I understand that point of view, but at the same time, there are countless good causes and people have to prioritize their giving. I assume that for many, need and use of funds does play a role in making those decisions.

[Kawika]

You guys sure pick your moments. Shame on you.

David McDonald

[trobba]

I don't know Bill, but have met Barry and respect his opinion greatly, as well as respecting Leon's as well. I donated without "advertising" it with a post (I guess I did now) largely because of Barry's words and Leon's support.

My understanding was Bill was in serious financial straits (so serious he was expected to sell his entire collection) and the money raised was going to directly help to pay for funeral expenses. Hearing he is spending over a thousand dollars on cards rubs me very much the wrong ~ no matter what the argument.

Part of this is exacerbated for me as I "gave" him some cards some time ago without charging him as he was in what I was led to be in a truly life-threatening battle, which may well have been the case.

I will not ask for my money back, but feel his judgment in this instance is really quite poor and unfortunately may negatively affect this type of giving and support for someone in the future that may be in an even greater position of need.

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Even if other people feel like Peter Ullman, I doubt many are going to say it, but I think his point of view is legitimate and well-stated and with due regard for the obvious sensitivities of the situation. As previously stated, the issue is not Bill's baseball card purchases. Nobody is judging him for that, or should. The issue, and there is no way to say this delicately, is whether the premise behind Leon's and Barry's very thoughtful fundraising -- Bill's statement that he would have to sell his collection to finance his wife's funeral -- was true. Nobody except Bill knows, but Leon was certainly right to inform people that the slew of ebay purchases at least raised a question. Many people might have contributed even if they had not thought it was a matter of dire need, but I suspect that others would not have.

I don't know Bill at all and for that reason did not donate. I feel that my Net54 friends are both friends and strangers. I have no doubt that most of you would be friends were we to meet, but I would not expect anyone here to donate funds on my behalf were I in a similar situation. However if I should pass, I would hope that all of you would be willing to pay fair market value for my collection. My wife would appreciate that.

Having made that statement, my condolences sincerely are extended to Bill and his family.