A most difficult thread- helping a friend, Bill Hedin

[teetwoohsix]

Originally Posted by wake.up.the.echoes

While this will mean absolutely nothing to most everybody on here, I am posting now to publically ask you (Leon) to delete my account from net54. Why? Because this thread makes me sick to my stomach. Vile. Why didn't I message you (Leon) in private to make this request? Frankly, because I would encourage other people to do the very same thing. My single withdrawal request might mean nothing, but maybe if enough people leave you won't be able to charge as much when you charge your advertisers for the right to send me unsolicited advertising emails.

Alan

My heart goes out to Bill and his family.

Wow. You act like Leon started this thread for nefarious reasons-when it was Barry and Leon who started the project to help Bill in the first place. I read it as if Leon was just looking out for the board members, as he always does.
Thank you Leon for making tough calls-I'm sure this wasn't an easy thread to start-but you always look out for the board.

I still want my donation to go to Bill, and still send my deepest sympathies.

And thanks again for the great job you do here Leon.

Sincerely, Clayton

[benjulmag]

Originally Posted by teetwoohsix

Wow. You act like Leon started this thread for nefarious reasons-when it was Barry and Leon who started the project to help Bill in the first place. I read it as if Leon was just looking out for the board members, as he always does.
Thank you Leon for making tough calls-I'm sure this wasn't an easy thread to start-but you always look out for the board.

+1

[whitehse]

I fully understand why this thread was started as Leon is just looking out for the board members but I have to say I am saddened by this thread as well.

While I have been unable to contribute and hope to do so in the very near future I am saddened that this would even come up at this sad time in our friends life. He has just lost the love of his life and we are questioning his purchases on Ebay? let me tell you if my wife passed I would look to comfort myself and if this buying and selling a few cards on line so some money can be made, then who is anyone else to tell me what I can or cannot do. How many of us have taken to online resources at a very tough time in our lives and did something irrational such as make a purchase that we probably shouldnt have.

I guess my feelings are that if a giver freely gives money to a to a man in a time like this to help lesson his burden, the giver will be blessed for it regardless of how the receiver uses the money. I say if you gave money, accept your blessings and let Bill deal with this in his own way. It is on him how he uses the blessing that have came to him in this time of need. Unless we have been in the situation he is currently deal with, we have no idea how we would act as well

Andrew White

[Griffins]

Originally Posted by whitehse

I fully understand why this thread was started as Leon is just looking out for the board members but I have to say I am saddened by this thread as well.

While I have been unable to contribute and hope to do so in the very near future I am saddened that this would even come up at this sad time in our friends life. He has just lost the love of his life and we are questioning his purchases on Ebay? let me tell you if my wife passed I would look to comfort myself and if this buying and selling a few cards on line so some money can be made, then who is anyone else to tell me what I can or cannot do. How many of us have taken to online resources at a very tough time in our lives and did something irrational such as make a purchase that we probably shouldnt have.

I guess my feelings are that if a giver freely gives money to a to a man in a time like this to help lesson his burden, the giver will be blessed for it regardless of how the receiver uses the money. I say if you gave money, accept your blessings and let Bill deal with this in his own way. It is on him how he uses the blessing that have came to him in this time of need. Unless we have been in the situation he is currently deal with, we have no idea how we would act as well

Andrew White

My feelings on this parallel Andrew's and David's. Well said gentleman.

[chris6net]

When I first saw the thread about Bill,s situation and the fact that he was going to have to sell his collection due to his financial situation I felt touched and considered making a donation. I ultimately decided not to donate as I don,t know Bill personally and would prefer to make a donation to someone with a personal connection. Now after seeing that Bill has been spending about a thousand dollars a week on cards I feel a lot different. The argument here is that Bill should spend the money on cards to keep some normalcy in his life even if the money was donated under the pretense that he desperately needed money to pay for his wife,s funeral expenses as he was going to have to sell his collection to cover his extreme financial hardship. Bill my prayers are with you and your family in this tough time but even though I didn,t donate a part of me is upset since I feel that others were cheated.
I don,t want to sound callous in the tough times Bill is having but I feel that this whole situation has some severe credibility issues. I hope I am wrong and again my prayers are with Bill and his Family.
CN

[Rickyy]

Thank you Leon for updating us on this. I can certainly see both sides on this issue and everyone brought out good points... as for me...I just go with my heart and trust that the funds are used in good faith for its intended purpose during this time of sadness.

Ricky Y

[7nohitter]

Originally Posted by Rickyy

Thank you Leon for updating us on this. I can certainly see both sides on this issue and everyone brought out good points... as for me...I just go with my heart and trust that the funds are used in good faith for its intended purpose during this time of sadness.

Ricky Y

+1

[Jlighter]

As I am sure many of the members are aware, there is an ethicists in The New York Times magazine, I am seriously considering sending this dilemma in(obviosuly names witheld) and getting his opinon. I'd like to know beforehand if anyone feels this is something that should be done.

Jake

[barrysloate]

Originally Posted by Jlighter

As I am sure many of the members are aware, there is an ethicists in The New York Times magazine, I am seriously considering sending this dilemma in(obviosuly names witheld) and getting his opinon. I'd like to know beforehand if anyone feels this is something that should be done.

Jake

Jake- I was thinking of doing the same thing. Their current ethicist is Chuck Klosterman. The original one was Randy Cohen, who I liked the best. But you can go ahead and send in a query if you'd like.

As Leon and I expected, the responses here run the full gamut from complete acceptance to considerable disappointment. I just want to clarify that I agree if Bill gets a sense of normalcy and satisfaction by buying baseball cards, he should do so even under these somewhat unusual circumstances. My only call here is whether or not he is buying them on my dime. I am very willing to help him defray the cost of the funeral. However, I really don't want to buy him some baseball cards. That is something he is free to do with his own funds, but the situation here is a little murky. That is my only equivocation.

[Donscards]

I have known Bill since the early 1980's and I feel for his loss so much---I know Billy has health problems over the years and he is such a good person. He doesnt deserve this latest barrage. He is a honest man with high intergrity. With the loss of a wife, how does one cope. So if he is on Ebay, it may allow him to forget a little. Also he stated, he has family using ebay and who knows what they are buying. I donated to Billy and would do so again. Please let us allow Bill to grieve with this terrible loss. Let us all move on. thank you, Don Hontz

[richieb315]

Originally Posted by Donscards

Please let us allow Bill to grieve with this terrible loss. Let us all move on. thank you, Don Hontz

+1

[Ladder7]

Who the Hell are we to judge. I'd be a freakin' basket case in his shoes.

If Bill wants to use some of the $ to purchase cards, gold or sprockets as a nest egg for the kids, I'm all for that. My donation wasn't exclusively for his beloved's burial. But any ancillary family purchases Bill deems necessary, without restriction.

Heck, many of us have made sports "investments" under the premise they could be liquidated as an emergency fund, college expenses etc. It's not any different than throwing it into a passbook account.

There is no rehearsal for this thing. I implore you guys to please let this now single father grieve as he sees fit. Thanks

[wolf441]

Originally Posted by Ladder7

Who the Hell are we to judge. I'd be a freakin' basket case in his shoes.

If Bill wants to use some of the $ to purchase cards, gold or sprockets as a nest egg for the kids, I'm all for that. My donation wasn't exclusively for his beloved's burial. But any ancillary family purchases Bill deems necessary, without restriction.

Heck, many of us have made sports "investments" under the premise they could be liquidated as an emergency fund, college expenses etc. It's not any different than throwing it into a passbook account.

There is no rehearsal for this thing. I implore you guys to please let this now single father grieve as he sees fit. Thanks

+1. Well said.

[kkkkandp]

I have never met Bill, but based on his posts on the board I got the impression (rightly or wrongly) that his financial situation was not as good as mine. That is not to say I am rolling in dough, but, as my wife often reminds me when I complain about our family finances, we are better off than many.

With that in mind, I made a "decent" donation to the memorial fund. Without a self-aggrandizing post. As others have also said, there were no strings attached, but the mental image I had was that the donations - all of them - would go to something, if not directly to the funeral expenses, more meaningful than baseball cards.

I completely agree that people grieve in different ways. It's often why people laugh without control at a funeral. So, I can completely understand buying "a couple" of baseball cards in the week after your wife passes away, but I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around spending $1200 on them.

Whatever. My donation was made with the best intention. And I'm not in any position to judge how it is used. You need to pay the piper, however, sooner or later.

[Sean1125]

Shortly after my grandmothers death I had one of the biggest card purchases I ever had, I made a good deal of money on it and as shallow as it sounds... The money helped cope... I had cried by her bed for hours when she couldn't even communicate back... I have to agree with the responses that you need to keep some bit of normalcy or you will never get on with your life - I don't know Bill and I am impartial to this matter, the only information I have is what I have read in this thread. Please excuse me if there is something I am missing. Buying cards doesn't mean you do not regret or care for your loved one.

Sean