BST etiquette am I wrong

[Cody77]

I feel like I’m just repeating myself to everyone for no reason. HE WAS NOT THE FIRST TO CONTACT ME ABOUT IT. His comment if it’s still available, then I messaged him letting him know I already had interested parties. So therefore, was letting him know I was in contact with others and would add him to the list in case others fell through. I was confirming he was good with no fee method (many are not due to lack of protection) or if he preferred with fees and if he was willing to cover those fees. I simply sent him a message saying others were interested and if he was ok with doing one of those two things. I never said it was his, or he was first in line, or anything. I reached out and asked him a question and let him know of other interested parties. He never got back to me and the people ahead of him did in fact take the item. So I posted it as sold, before he ever responded back. If the previous potential buyers backed out then it would go to him. But without having an exchange of messages I never got fully into explaining all that. Telling him others were interested I thought was an obvious way to say he wasn’t the first in line and therefore had no claim to the item. At no point did I ever give him the illusion that it was his. But I was going to add him to my list if other interested parties backed out. It happens. I’ve had people not pay or whatever so it goes to the next person. His comment wasn’t the first and a comment before even let him know others had contacted me. I was simply waiting until the payment was made to mark it “sold”.

[Cody77]

My “long derogatory” message to him is posted in my screenshot with his response of legal action. Please explain to me what is “derogatory” in my message to him? At this point, seems like a bunch of his friends piling on to something that has to basis. I’ve posted the screenshots. The only derogatory thing I said to him was after he threatened legal action I told him he was acting like a child. Which was true.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Cody77

My “long derogatory” message to him is posted in my screenshot with his response of legal action. Please explain to me what is “derogatory” in my message to him? At this point, seems like a bunch of his friends piling on to something that has to basis. I’ve posted the screenshots. The only derogatory thing I said to him was after he threatened legal action I told him he was acting like a child. Which was true.

You told him never to contact you again and you had no interest in dealing with him on anything, in the message he responded to. That's not derogatory?

[Vintage Vern]

Originally Posted by Cody77

I feel like I’m just repeating myself to everyone for no reason. HE WAS NOT THE FIRST TO CONTACT ME ABOUT IT. His comment if it’s still available, then I messaged him letting him know I already had interested parties. So therefore, was letting him know I was in contact with others and would add him to the list in case others fell through. I was confirming he was good with no fee method (many are not due to lack of protection) or if he preferred with fees and if he was willing to cover those fees. I simply sent him a message saying others were interested and if he was ok with doing one of those two things. I never said it was his, or he was first in line, or anything. I reached out and asked him a question and let him know of other interested parties. He never got back to me and the people ahead of him did in fact take the item. So I posted it as sold, before he ever responded back. If the previous potential buyers backed out then it would go to him. But without having an exchange of messages I never got fully into explaining all that. Telling him others were interested I thought was an obvious way to say he wasn’t the first in line and therefore had no claim to the item. At no point did I ever give him the illusion that it was his. But I was going to add him to my list if other interested parties backed out. It happens. I’ve had people not pay or whatever so it goes to the next person. His comment wasn’t the first and a comment before even let him know others had contacted me. I was simply waiting until the payment was made to mark it “sold”.

The problem is. I'll take it was the first you had correct? Who said that first?

[Peter_Spaeth]

Was he the first to say, I'll take it? Sorry, now see same question above.

[Cody77]

He was the only one to comment he would take it. But not the first. Again, hence my message to him saying I had a lot of interest already. But, as i have to keep repeating myself, and item is not sold until the money exchange happens. I messaged him, let him know of other interested parties, was confirming pricing and things and would have let him know I was waiting on others, but again I never got a response from him until 5 hours after his comment. He never confirmed he was first and I never confirmed he was. He just assumed his comment being on there somehow made him the one who got it. I would have explained it all in messages, but with no response from him before it sold I never got the chance until I saw his message this morning and told him I sold it. Then he became upset and messaged Leon and threatened legal action. At no point did I ever say he was first to want it. He assumed his comment made that clear and then expected it to be his. When I tried to explain he wasn’t the first the claim and I was working out details with others and waiting on confirmation of payment to mark sold (like what it shows in my “derogatory” message to him, he threatened legal action and I blocked him after.

[Cody77]

Because he had already been harassing me in previous messages so I told him I wouldnt do any future deals with him and to not contact me anymore. That’s just a couple of several messages he sent this morning. Like I keep repeating, once I told him it sold, he kept sending me messages harassing me about it and wanting to contact Leon. I asked him twice to stop messaging me before blocking him. I’ve said this several times in my responses here.

[Peter_Spaeth]

I have heard no reason, given that he was the first to say I'll take it, that you did not give him a reasonable time to respond to your confirmatory message about no fee. You had no reason to be concerned given his long-established presence on the board, and you had back up options in the remote event the sale to him fell through. You had no reason to expect an immediate response to your message, as was said, many here don't live on their phones. Nothing further from me on this.

[Cody77]

Wow, Peter, I’m not sure you’re even reading. HE WAS NOT FIRST. He was first to comment, but again I had been contacted in messages before he commented. I told him that in my response to him. But for some reason, like him, you keep ignoring what I’m writing. I sold the item to someone who contacted me before he commented, but the sale hadn’t gone through at that time. I messaged Jonathan saying others were interested.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Cody77

Wow, Peter, I’m not sure you’re even reading. HE WAS NOT FIRST. He was first to comment, but again I had been contacted in messages before he commented. I told him that in my response to him. But for some reason, like him, you keep ignoring what I’m writing. I sold the item to someone who contacted me before he commented, but the sale hadn’t gone through at that time. I messaged Jonathan saying others were interested.

I can read just fine. He was not the first to communicate but was the first to say I'll take it. Do YOU read what you write? Here are YOUR words: He was the only one to comment he would take it.

[Vintage Vern]

Originally Posted by Cody77

Wow, Peter, I’m not sure you’re even reading. HE WAS NOT FIRST. He was first to comment, but again I had been contacted in messages before he commented. I told him that in my response to him. But for some reason, like him, you keep ignoring what I’m writing. I sold the item to someone who contacted me before he commented, but the sale hadn’t gone through at that time. I messaged Jonathan saying others were interested.

So, if true you would have done someone else wrong. This isn't a good look for you either way. Just saying! You basically said the first person that said they'll take it didn't matter. Correct?

Like I keep saying etiquette isn't being applied well on BST without guidelines. To me on board should be the first place to say I'll take it. Behind that is DM for finalized transactions and for questions before that aren't comfortable on board. To me I'll take it on the initial post should be the winner take all, and if it falls through the next man standing is in the mix.

[jayshum]

Personally, I think the OP is lucky the seller even contacted him about the card since all he did was post on the thread that he would take it if it was still available. Since the seller was receiving messages from others who were interested in it, there was no guarantee he would see just a post without a follow up PM. I know when I'm selling something, I may not look at the thread that often so there have been times where it has been a day or so before I notice that someone has posted their interest in something. I definitely prefer getting a PM if someone wants to buy something.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by jayshum

Personally, I think the OP is lucky the seller even contacted him about the card since all he did was post on the thread that he would take it if it was still available. Since the seller was receiving messages from others who were interested in it, there was no guarantee he would see just a post without a follow up PM. I know when I'm selling something, I may not look at the thread that often so there have been times where it has been a day or so before I notice that someone has posted their interest in something. I definitely prefer getting a PM if someone wants to buy something.

I've had countless people just post I'll take it on the thread. Sure, a PM is better, but I've never had one not follow through.

[Vintage Vern]

Originally Posted by jayshum

Personally, I think the OP is lucky the seller even contacted him about the card since all he did was post on the thread that he would take it if it was still available. Since the seller was receiving messages from others who were interested in it, there was no guarantee he would see just a post without a follow up PM. I know when I'm selling something, I may not look at the thread that often so there have been times where it has been a day or so before I notice that someone has posted their interest in something. I definitely prefer getting a PM if someone wants to buy something.

That needs to change IMO. That's where the sale is started. Everything should go through that, not DMs.

I'll edit this. Reason being, I like it on the original post for all to see with a time, and can't be disputed. It also allows the person to do so live without hoping a DM will be answered, and answered in order of person wanting to buy.

[Fred]

Just one of them timing issues. Unfortunate for the OP. I can understand that frustration. At least we're not reading that someone got scammed.

And in the end, where would be be if this didn't occur? We wouldn't have over 65 posts to read and comment on!

the end is near 2.jpg

[Vintage Vern]

Originally Posted by Cody77

He was the only one to comment he would take it. But not the first. Again, hence my message to him saying I had a lot of interest already. But, as i have to keep repeating myself, and item is not sold until the money exchange happens. I messaged him, let him know of other interested parties, was confirming pricing and things and would have let him know I was waiting on others, but again I never got a response from him until 5 hours after his comment. He never confirmed he was first and I never confirmed he was. He just assumed his comment being on there somehow made him the one who got it. I would have explained it all in messages, but with no response from him before it sold I never got the chance until I saw his message this morning and told him I sold it. Then he became upset and messaged Leon and threatened legal action. At no point did I ever say he was first to want it. He assumed his comment made that clear and then expected it to be his. When I tried to explain he wasn’t the first the claim and I was working out details with others and waiting on confirmation of payment to mark sold (like what it shows in my “derogatory” message to him, he threatened legal action and I blocked him after.

He actually was the first, and only one known to say "I'll take it. You could have had 300 people interested, but you had only 1 that said "I'll take it" that's on record.

I think asking for DMs is a bad idea vs staying on the board for I'll take it. Everyone can see that, and there's no doubt. DM should be used to follow up the transaction, and ample time should be given. Maybe a survey or poll say 12hrs, 24hrs to finalize a deal. If you had that many people interested, it should be a bit easier for patience on a response.

Like I pointed out in another post how long did it take for you to join the convo on board before you first responded? A little over 5 hours? I don't fault you for that, just pointing it out. I agree with you on you'd think he would have acted faster, but also agree he thought he was the guy that was in the drivers seat for the item. I actually don't know either of you, just trying to paint a picture that helps in the future.

[jayshum]

Originally Posted by Vintage Vern

He actually was the first, and only one known to say "I'll take it. You could have had 300 people interested, but you had only 1 that said "I'll take it" that's on record.

I think asking for DMs is a bad idea vs staying on the board for I'll take it. Everyone can see that, and there's no doubt. DM should be used to follow up the transaction, and ample time should be given. Maybe a survey or poll say 12hrs, 24hrs to finalize a deal. If you had that many people interested, it should be a bit easier for patience on a response.

Like I pointed out in another post how long did it take for you to join the convo on board before you first responded? A little over 5 hours? I don't fault you for that, just pointing it out. I agree with you on you'd think he would have acted faster, but also agree he thought he was the guy that was in the drivers seat for the item. I actually don't know either of you, just trying to paint a picture that helps in the future.

I've been selling a lot lately, and the vast majority of my sales are from PMs with no corresponding post on the thread. I think that is much more the norm than someone posting and also sending a PM. Maybe I'm wrong about that for others, but it's been my experience most of the time.