Spousal Support

[dlfallen]

My wife is very supportive and understanding. She knows the pleasure my collecting brings to me and that is enough for her. In turn, I support without reservation her activities, such as scrapbooking (that can also be expensive and time consuming). Not once has she said a word about the money or time I spend on my hobby. I think it is this mutual respect and tolerance that has allowed our marriage to last 42 years so far. Are you reading this Zack?

We recently moved from a two story house to a one level. It has three bedrooms which are now our master bedroom, guest bedroom, and a combination office/scrapbooking/sewing room. It was my wife's passionate determination that we build a "man cave" for my "baseball stuff". She found and hired a contractor to build the walls in one bay of our three car garage (now two car). She had it insulated, carpeted, and lighted. She had a heater installed in the wall and a locking door to the room. Now I am as comfortable as a bug in a rug. Although she doesn't have a strong interest in baseball memorabilia, she takes pride in my collection and new guests are required to tour the man cave. What a great wife I have!

[rhettyeakley]

My wife has always been great about it. As with most of the girlfriends I had prior to her she thought it was dorky until she saw how much money I could make by selling some of the stuff.

I knew I had a keeper when I caught her reading a book about Edd Roush and the 1919 Reds/White Sox and when asked why she had been reading it she began to quiz me about Roush's good friends Bill Rariden & Ivy Wingo!

Seriously, there is nothing more strange/amazing than a girl talking about Ivy Wingo!

[Matthew H]

I hide cards, she hides clothes... It works.

[zljones]

Perhaps I said too much about my finacee.

[Chris D.]

My wife has no problem with me collecting cards. I think it's equally important for the relationship that both spouses have things they share together and things that they don't. I play baseball and she plays ice hockey. You can't lose yourself in a relationship.

[iwantitiwinit]

Originally Posted by Matthew H

I hide cards, she hides clothes... It works.

Ditto with a caveat, she better not bring home a $2000 handbag and better not say anything if I buy a $2000 t206.

[zljones]

I think that one of the biggest issues for me was communication with her about the cards. I recently was upfront with her about it, now we shall see how she deals with it from now on. She might surprise me and become more supportive, if not, I will be saying "see ya!"

[ullmandds]

"I think that one of the biggest issues for me was communication with her about the cards. I recently was upfront with her about it, now we shall see how she deals with it from now on. She might surprise me and become more supportive, if not, I will be saying "see ya!"

Think of all the $$$$ you just saved on therapy and potential legal fees!!!!!!

[Leon]

Originally Posted by zljones

I think that one of the biggest issues for me was communication with her about the cards. I recently was upfront with her about it, now we shall see how she deals with it from now on. She might surprise me and become more supportive, if not, I will be saying "see ya!"

Just remember "it's an investment" in conversations with her.

[Wymers Auction]

Originally Posted by zljones

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

You may need to seek professional help. LOL

[zljones]

Originally Posted by ullmandds

"I think that one of the biggest issues for me was communication with her about the cards. I recently was upfront with her about it, now we shall see how she deals with it from now on. She might surprise me and become more supportive, if not, I will be saying "see ya!"

Think of all the $$$$ you just saved on therapy and potential legal fees!!!!!!

LOL yea.

[Wymers Auction]

Originally Posted by dstraate

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

That is hilarious!!!

[dabigyankeeman]

My wife understands that collecting cards is my big passion. However, we are moving from a house into a condo, and no more display room thats all collectibles. Now i had to get rid of 90% of my display items, and the very few items left will be in the office.

She has no problem with a few pieces scattered around, but really has no problem with albums sitting in a bookcase, so my cards are not a problem.

Now then, she does have a problem with the amount of money spent on cards!! Thank God she has no idea what cards are worth, i used to tell her what i spent, now the cards come in and i stay quiet or just say, "more cheap cards came in today". Or i try to sneak the "yellow envelopes" as she calls them, into the house. The worst is when the postman has to knock on the door to get a signature, then she knows its something expensive!!

I will give her credit though, on every birthday or other occassion, we work out a deal whereby i pick out a card i want and buy it and then she pays for it and thats my gift from her, and sometimes its an expensive card that goes for a few occassions.

Overall, she is rational, and while i wish she was a collector too, how many of us can have a collector wife???

[MilBraves]

My wife wasn't on board with my collecting until we went to a Clean Sweep appraisal. She knows what I pay for my cards and memorabilia and when the guy from clean sweep was quoting prices well above what I paid she became a believer. I guess she had to hear it from someone else, to believe I actually have a clue what I'm doing.

[rainier2004]

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

[tbob]

I won't mention his name but a former card shop owner in the earlier years had an incredible collection of prewar cards in his private collection. His second wife kept threatening to put a garden hose through the window in the basement and flood them all whenever she got mad. He finally took her seriously and sold all his of his prewar stuff for well over a million dollars. He then sold his card shop and the last time I talked to him he no longer collects cards at all, just vintage jazz records. I don't have the heart to ask him if he is still married to wife #2.......

[zljones]

Originally Posted by rainier2004

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money. She may now learn to accept my collecting. We ended on a good note for the evening, now I will begin exposing her to this stuff deeper and I will take Leon's advice and say it's for an investment. But years from now I will tell her I changed my mind and I will keep them.

[MVSNYC]

"Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money."

congrats. that's called being a man. well done.

[Merrillstoys]

It was 47 years ago. I took this girl out on our second date. I was taking her to Manhattan to see a Broadway show and then to dinner. I asked her if we could first stop by a stamp show at the Americana Hotel and she said yes. While at the stamp show I bought a stamp for $100 and she went nuts. She said “It’s used!! You can’t even put it on an envelope.” I explained that even though this was only our second date, if we fell in love and got married and she wanted a home, I could sell my stamp collection and buy her that home. For the rest of the stamp show she never said another word.
About 25 years ago my wife came back to our apartment from a shopping trip. She announced that she found a house that we just had to buy. I told her we couldn’t afford it. She said “Do you remember our second date? You said if I wanted a house, you would sell your stamp collection and buy me that house.” I still don’t think that’s exactly what I said. Anyway, two weeks later I flew to L.A., sold the stamp collection and bought the house.
When I informed my wife I would start collecting baseball cards, she said “You go right ahead and collect anything you want.” Wasn’t she great?
So now I collect T206 baseball cards. My children will have to pry the cards out of my cold dead hands.
Rest in peace baby.

[campyfan39]

The key for me was that I was knee deep in it when she met me. As with anything with people who love each other we learn to appreciate or even enjoy things that the other person enjoys.
When I knew she was a keeer was when our first Christmas we were dating and she got me a 1954 Yogi Berra! I actually went to a show the morning of our wedding day and bought a 55 Jackie Robinson.

Here is the BEST part..... After years of saving to build a house a couple years ago SHE suggested we include a secret room in the house! It is 12x12 filled with baseball cards and memorabilia. I am always rearranging things and creating new displays and she loves to come in and help.

[ls7plus]

Originally Posted by bunst

Generally she tolerates my collecting because it makes me happy, but has made subtle comments that are not exactly supportive. The last time she felt the need to question my spending, I said something to the effect that at least my cards will hold or gain value, unlike your closet full of clothes hardly even worn and basically worthless. She hasn't said much about me collecting since.

Gutsy, Brian, very gutsy, albeit quite true. My wife frequently tells me she wishes I'd never met a fellow attorney who I worked with over 20 years ago, who used to bring his cards into the office and stimulated my collecting gene. I tell her it wouldn't have mattered, since I've been into baseball since I was a kid, playing in summer leagues, high school, and the fast-pitch, over 30 hardball league when I was in my early to mid-40's. I also used to play Stratomatic baseball with buddies for endless hour after hour, and even designed some table-top games based on probability with dice with a different format on my own. One way or another, I was going to "capture" the game. If I hadn't met that attorney at that time, something else was destined to draw me into the hobby.

Sometimes she's a little more tolerant, however, usually with the earlier stuff, since she likes antique furniture herself. One example would be the 1910 PC796 Walter Johnson I acquired in the 2011 REA auction. I no longer make the mistake of telling her what more recent items are worth, however, since I know the response: "Sell it!"

Good thread,

Larry

[ls7plus]

Originally Posted by dstraate

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

David, the solution to that problem is really simple: Have the cards you buy shipped to the office or workplace, and the checks from cards you sell mailed to the home!

Larry

[Leon]

Originally Posted by zljones

Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money. She may now learn to accept my collecting. We ended on a good note for the evening, now I will begin exposing her to this stuff deeper and I will take Leon's advice and say it's for an investment. But years from now I will tell her I changed my mind and I will keep them.

Unless you take them to the grave with you then at some point they will be an investment, or at least sold and will either stay the same, gain or lose value. So it's not really a story in saying they are an investment. Mine are and I am not above saying they are. They might lose and they might gain and I get to have fun doing it. Much better than owning stocks which I used to do. I don't necessarily recommend my actions/thoughts on others though. Most folks say cards aren't an investment and you should do something else. I have some other resources but my cards are a good portion of them and I am fine calling them an investment.

[GoldenAge50s]

When we got married my wife agreed that if our 1st born was a boy it would be named Mickey.

We went to Cooperstown for our 1st Anniversary.

Our only child was conceived there. (Turned out to be a healthy & beautiful Jacquelyn instead of a Mickey!) I call her the Cooperstown Comet!

'Nuf said!

[zljones]

Well an update to my situation, since I told my finacee all about it, she is so far been accepting. Today became a huge test, I just lost my job today and now have to hit the unemployment line tomorrow. When I told her about she reassured that she will stand by me and has been cheery. I don't know if she will stay supportive, but for right now she is very supportive and that is important during hard times. She even understands that I still am going to try to hold on to my cards. But if I need to sell them I will let you all know.

[tcdyess]

My wife is all too familiar with my sickness yet 15 years in she is still here.... I'm a lucky man....

[rainier2004]

Originally Posted by zljones

Well an update to my situation, since I told my finacee all about it, she is so far been accepting. Today became a huge test, I just lost my job today and now have to hit the unemployment line tomorrow. When I told her about she reassured that she will stand by me and has been cheery. I don't know if she will stay supportive, but for right now she is very supportive and that is important during hard times. She even understands that I still am going to try to hold on to my cards. But if I need to sell them I will let you all know.

Sorry to hear about the job and good luck on the next venture...

[zljones]

Originally Posted by rainier2004

Sorry to hear about the job and good luck on the next venture...

Thanks, it was a big shocker today and it's the first time I lost a job in 10 years.

[glchen]

Originally Posted by zljones

Thanks, it was a big shocker today and it's the first time I lost a job in 10 years.

Good luck, Zach, and hope you can find a new job soon.

[zljones]

Originally Posted by glchen

Good luck, Zach, and hope you can find a new job soon.

Thanks I will be back at it Monday

[Matthew H]

Originally Posted by zljones

Well an update to my situation, since I told my finacee all about it, she is so far been accepting. Today became a huge test, I just lost my job today and now have to hit the unemployment line tomorrow. When I told her about she reassured that she will stand by me and has been cheery. I don't know if she will stay supportive, but for right now she is very supportive and that is important during hard times. She even understands that I still am going to try to hold on to my cards. But if I need to sell them I will let you all know.

Zack, my wife has been with me through thick and thin. I mean REALLY thin. We've been together going on nine years now. She's a great mother, was a loyal girlfriend and now is a loyal wife. I don't think my career would be taking off the way it is right now had she been one of those "we need money now" types. She has been very supportive of my goals and believed in me even when I was ready to quit and try something else, she urged me to continue and "talked me off the ledge" many times so that I could continue in a career choice that I loved. She worked a job too and did the mom stuff as well so that I could focus and not worry about making enough money.

She also hates my baseball cards. Who ____ cares!? Don't let people tell you that you need to find a girl that likes baseball cards. I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone.

[mark evans]

My wife's only request has been that I provide her the name of an auction house to call in the event of my untimely demise.

[zljones]

Originally Posted by Matthew H

Zack, my wife has been with me through thick and thin. I mean REALLY thin. We've been together going on nine years now. She's a great mother, was a loyal girlfriend and now is a loyal wife. I don't think my career would be taking off the way it is right now had she been one of those "we need money now" types. She has been very supportive of my goals and believed in me even when I was ready to quit and try something else, she urged me to continue and "talked me off the ledge" many times so that I could continue in a career choice that I loved. She worked a job too and did the mom stuff as well so that I could focus and not worry about making enough money.

She also hates my baseball cards. Who ____ cares!? Don't let people tell you that you need to find a girl that likes baseball cards. I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone.

Thanks man, she is not pressuring me to sell my cards either which is great.

[SteveMitchell]

This is a very interesting topic and the posts have been all over the place - which I expected.

My wife has been very supportive. From the time I first introduced her to my collection (1967), and told her, "Love me, love my baseball collection" she has demonstrated her support in a million ways.

She began almost immediately helping me produce a very minor hobby periodical, Sports Collectors Journal (1967-69); created 8x10 inch logos of the 1950s major league clubs; bought Rold Gold pretzel 3-D baseball greats (1970) when we could hardly afford chicken (29 cents/pound) and tomatoes (10 cents); attended and worked dozens of card shows (starting 1973); and continues to package, catalog and be my bookkeeper for our eBay business. (And I've left out a lot of other hobby-related activities.)

She's the best!

[bh3443]

Originally Posted by Ladder7

She say's, "Just sell all that junk and take me to Hawaii". I take her to the Kowloon Polynesian Restaurant, they have a volcano!, order a couple of scorpion bowls and that holds her for a while. Incidentally, I'm too frightened to tell her to sell her jewelry.

Hi Steve!
We love the Kowloon, too! Everytime we go there we see fellow card collectors. I remember the days when Phil Castinetti would take his autograph signers there.
When I'm feelin OK, we go to visit our daughter and her family and try to stop in at Sportsworld on the way up and the Kowloon on the way back.

As for my collection and my wife, they get along fine! The one thing my wife can't understand is why I prefer to watch game 4 of the 1968 World Series instead of the current Red Sox game that's on now!

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Matthew H

Don't let people tell you that you need to find a girl that likes baseball cards.

It isn't about whether the prospective spouse likes the collecting, it is about whether she/he respects you enough to let you get your collecting freak on. My wife doesn't like card collecting--it bores the heck out of her--but she respects me enough to leave me to it.

[pcoz]

My wife is quite supportive. As long as I give her the monthly allowance, which I asked her to give me her number and make sure I meet each month, she doesn't care much what I otherwise do. I try and keep her in the loop with what I'm doing, and she actually thinks the cards are cool. A happy wife is a happy home...and her money is hers, and yours is both. I stick to those rules first, and the cards come easy!

[rainier2004]

Originally Posted by pcoz

A happy wife is a happy home...and her money is hers, and yours is both.

That sentence says more than anything else on this entire thread

[zljones]

I just wanted to update that I am going back to work at my old job from before this last one. It sucks but at least it's income, just less income. Soon it will time for Goudeys and Diamond Stars

[t206blogcom]

Originally Posted by zljones

I just wanted to update that I am going back to work at my old job from before this last one. It sucks but at least it's income, just less income. Soon it will time for Goudeys and Diamond Stars

Congrats on finding work in this difficult economy. Best of luck.

[Cardboard Junkie]

All 3 of my ex wives hated my collecting. I divorced all 3 of them and kept my cards. I can always get another wife. dave. ps wife #1 stole most of my sht!

[zljones]

Originally Posted by t206blogcom

Congrats on finding work in this difficult economy. Best of luck.

Thanks, I am happy I was only out 2 weeks