Spousal Support

[zljones]

Originally Posted by gorrister

Does your spouse (I'm sure I could say wife for 99% of the board) support, put up with, dislikes, detests or doesn't even realize your collection exists? My wife doesn't realize that I'm even collecting cards. I sold the vast majority of my collection some years ago. It was a HUGE collection taking up a tremendous amount of space (and money). I had almost every regular issue Topps card from 1963-1980. But now, my collection is very small. It consists of just under 500 cards in 2 binders. Fits nicely into the a desk drawer. Out of her sight, out of her mind...

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

[Wymers Auction]

Originally Posted by zljones

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

You may need to seek professional help. LOL

[dabigyankeeman]

My wife understands that collecting cards is my big passion. However, we are moving from a house into a condo, and no more display room thats all collectibles. Now i had to get rid of 90% of my display items, and the very few items left will be in the office.

She has no problem with a few pieces scattered around, but really has no problem with albums sitting in a bookcase, so my cards are not a problem.

Now then, she does have a problem with the amount of money spent on cards!! Thank God she has no idea what cards are worth, i used to tell her what i spent, now the cards come in and i stay quiet or just say, "more cheap cards came in today". Or i try to sneak the "yellow envelopes" as she calls them, into the house. The worst is when the postman has to knock on the door to get a signature, then she knows its something expensive!!

I will give her credit though, on every birthday or other occassion, we work out a deal whereby i pick out a card i want and buy it and then she pays for it and thats my gift from her, and sometimes its an expensive card that goes for a few occassions.

Overall, she is rational, and while i wish she was a collector too, how many of us can have a collector wife???

[rainier2004]

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

[tbob]

I won't mention his name but a former card shop owner in the earlier years had an incredible collection of prewar cards in his private collection. His second wife kept threatening to put a garden hose through the window in the basement and flood them all whenever she got mad. He finally took her seriously and sold all his of his prewar stuff for well over a million dollars. He then sold his card shop and the last time I talked to him he no longer collects cards at all, just vintage jazz records. I don't have the heart to ask him if he is still married to wife #2.......

[zljones]

Originally Posted by rainier2004

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money. She may now learn to accept my collecting. We ended on a good note for the evening, now I will begin exposing her to this stuff deeper and I will take Leon's advice and say it's for an investment. But years from now I will tell her I changed my mind and I will keep them.

[MVSNYC]

"Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money."

congrats. that's called being a man. well done.

[Merrillstoys]

It was 47 years ago. I took this girl out on our second date. I was taking her to Manhattan to see a Broadway show and then to dinner. I asked her if we could first stop by a stamp show at the Americana Hotel and she said yes. While at the stamp show I bought a stamp for $100 and she went nuts. She said “It’s used!! You can’t even put it on an envelope.” I explained that even though this was only our second date, if we fell in love and got married and she wanted a home, I could sell my stamp collection and buy her that home. For the rest of the stamp show she never said another word.
About 25 years ago my wife came back to our apartment from a shopping trip. She announced that she found a house that we just had to buy. I told her we couldn’t afford it. She said “Do you remember our second date? You said if I wanted a house, you would sell your stamp collection and buy me that house.” I still don’t think that’s exactly what I said. Anyway, two weeks later I flew to L.A., sold the stamp collection and bought the house.
When I informed my wife I would start collecting baseball cards, she said “You go right ahead and collect anything you want.” Wasn’t she great?
So now I collect T206 baseball cards. My children will have to pry the cards out of my cold dead hands.
Rest in peace baby.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by zljones

Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money. She may now learn to accept my collecting. We ended on a good note for the evening, now I will begin exposing her to this stuff deeper and I will take Leon's advice and say it's for an investment. But years from now I will tell her I changed my mind and I will keep them.

Unless you take them to the grave with you then at some point they will be an investment, or at least sold and will either stay the same, gain or lose value. So it's not really a story in saying they are an investment. Mine are and I am not above saying they are. They might lose and they might gain and I get to have fun doing it. Much better than owning stocks which I used to do. I don't necessarily recommend my actions/thoughts on others though. Most folks say cards aren't an investment and you should do something else. I have some other resources but my cards are a good portion of them and I am fine calling them an investment.

[GoldenAge50s]

When we got married my wife agreed that if our 1st born was a boy it would be named Mickey.

We went to Cooperstown for our 1st Anniversary.

Our only child was conceived there. (Turned out to be a healthy & beautiful Jacquelyn instead of a Mickey!) I call her the Cooperstown Comet!

'Nuf said!