Not O/T - Does Marriage Counseling Work?

[Chicago206]

As I began tackling the T206 backs set, naturally I had to let the wife in on what was going on. Afterall, I very well couldnt just have $6,000 dissapear from the bank account without her noticing!

In the beginning, she just rolled her eyes and said "whatever". But that was for sub $200 purchases. When things started getting serious (Drum), she became a bit more interested in what I was "throwing our money away" on. Well, shortly after finishing the set, I decided to take a new direction. I ended up selling a few cards here on the BST. Since I was upfront on what I had spent on each new card as I bought them, and she has a mind like a steel trap (believe me thats NOT a good thing!), she was able to clearly see that my new hobby was a zero sum game. In other words, every card I sold was a break even on what we paid. This has really calmed her down as she now understands that im not just spending thousands on some goofy cardboard pictures of men. She now sees it as a legitimate investment, which as it turns out, is also a fun hobby for me. Im pretty much set with the green light on a BL460 now when the opportunity presents itself!

So in summary, IMO, the easiest and most effective way to show your better half the truth is to sell a few of your cards that might not fit your collection anymore. Every collector has some "dead weight" laying around (and no, im not talking about the wife!).

[jbsports33]

Erich,

The road is long and hard, it has been almost 10 years for me trying to get my wife to understand the process. I had to create a website, work at the shows and eBay to get her to see the benefit. It has worked and things are improving, but had to make it like a part-time business. Keep the business side to yourself for the most part and talk with her about simple things in the hobby.

Jimmy

[Jim VB]

Originally Posted by Chicago206

As I began tackling the T206 backs set, naturally I had to let the wife in on what was going on. Afterall, I very well couldnt just have $6,000 dissapear from the bank account without her noticing!

In the beginning, she just rolled her eyes and said "whatever". But that was for sub $200 purchases. When things started getting serious (Drum), she became a bit more interested in what I was "throwing our money away" on. Well, shortly after finishing the set, I decided to take a new direction. I ended up selling a few cards here on the BST. Since I was upfront on what I had spent on each new card as I bought them, and she has a mind like a steel trap (believe me thats NOT a good thing!), she was able to clearly see that my new hobby was a zero sum game. In other words, every card I sold was a break even on what we paid. This has really calmed her down as she now understands that im not just spending thousands on some goofy cardboard pictures of men. She now sees it as a legitimate investment, which as it turns out, is also a fun hobby for me. Im pretty much set with the green light on a BL460 now when the opportunity presents itself!

So in summary, IMO, the easiest and most effective way to show your better half the truth is to sell a few of your cards that might not fit your collection anymore. Every collector has some "dead weight" laying around (and no, im not talking about the wife!).

Post of the Year nominee, in the dark irony category.

[Chicago206]

Everyone came to Jim's defense recently in another thread. Hard to truly believe all those complimets he got when it seems to me he is simply an antagonistic jerk. He has demonstrated this over the span of several threads and several days.

[Jim VB]

Originally Posted by Chicago206

Everyone came to Jim's defense recently in another thread. Hard to truly believe all those complimets he got when it seems to me he is simply an antagonistic jerk. He has demonstrated this over the span of several threads and several days.

A guy can multi-task, can't he?

I admit, I can be an antagonistic jerk at times. Especially when new people, who have a very short history on this board and a very thin knowledge base of it's content, come here and, through the very tone of their posts, manage to pick a fight with knowledgeable, highly-respected hobby veterans, in nearly every single thread.

Once I realize that I can no longer carry on a civil conversation with those people, I do resort to lower level tactics.

In this case, that was you. Buying 15, readily available cards, over a 3-4 month span, getting mad at how you're treated on a message board, and then selling most, isn't "Card Collecting." It's just fooling around with your money.

Many of the people on this board have been in this hobby for 30 or more years. Some have lots of cards. Some only have a few. Some have large budgets. Some have almost zero dollars to spend. But they almost all have a love of the history of the game and the history of the hobby. You can't get that by buying a few handfuls of cards in a couple of months.

But even if I take the approach that everyone has to start somewhere, I don't understand the tactic that leads you to start challenging the knowledge base that Ted Z, or Jim B, or 10 other guys you've had spats with, have accumulated over many years.

Most of us aren't here on this board to fight. We're here to talk cards. Not how much we spent on the cards. Not how much our house cost. Not how much we make. But cards.

Until you can do that, your time here will never be smooth.

Best of luck to you in whatever you do.

[Chicago206]

Jim, are you referring to the "fight" about the Cobb/Cobb? Since when does a difference of opinion constitute a fight? I stated my beliefs, and was basically called a "know nothing idiot" because of it. What other "fights" am I getting into in "every thread"? I fail to see your point. Perhaps you could help me to see something im just not seeing? Where am I fighting? I guess we have different working definitions of the term "fight".

I got my feet wet by buying the 15 different backs. The fact that I have NOT sold my Drum should be an obvious signal that I actually DO want to further my development in the hobby. The fact that I recently bought a red Hindu is more testament to this fact. So I jumped into a pool and found it to be a bit too cold? So what? I simply decided that since I enjoy rarity more than quantity, the 15 card set wasnt for me. Im thinking that just the top of the top as far as back variations may better suit me. Afterall, I've been at this for a little over 4 months now....adjustments are sure to be made. Did you figure out exactly what you liked by month 4 of your collecting career?

[Jim VB]

1. Since when does a difference of opinion constitute a fight?

Message boards, by nature have no tone, no sarcasm filter, no audio cues to what someone says. So, yes, a difference of opinion between a new guy and a 30 year veteran, come off as a fight.



2. What other "fights" am I getting into in "every thread"?

Anyone else who has had a disagreement with chicago in the last 2-3 months want to vote here with a "ME"?


3. So I jumped into a pool and found it to be a bit too cold? So what? I simply decided that since I enjoy rarity more than quantity, the 15 card set wasnt for me.

If 15 cards is "too cold" or too deep, you might have to listen to some of the guys (not me, mind you) that have a little more experience. I do NOT consider myself an expert on any set, in any area of card collecting and I wouldn't notice another 15 cards either way. (Pics below.) I'm just saying this board has some real experts here. Use them.



4. Did you figure out exactly what you liked by month 4 of your collecting career?


Certainly not. But I was 5 at the time and collecting 1960 Topps cards out of wax packs and cutting them off of sheets. By the time I was out of college and gainfully employeed, yeah, I had a handle on it.

[Chicago206]

"I'm just saying this board has some real experts here. Use them."

At least we can agree on this point. The knowlege here is ultra impressive! However, in order to "maximize" my returns in this forum, it seems that I better not voice any of my opinions, and just agree with anything they say. They seem to hate it when a new guy has thoughts of his own!