Hobby etiquette. Where has it gone?

OhioLawyerF5 · #1 11-04-2025, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parkplace33

I am kind of taken aback by the last 2 responses to me.

If someone had a card you really wanted, you were friends, and you told them that wanted first crack at it, and then they sent it to an auction house and you found out later about, you are just supposed to be fine with it? I disagree 100 percent.

I am slow to take offense with friends. If I didn't trust their character, they wouldn't be my friend. So I give them the benefit of the doubt, and accept their judgment in handling a situation as reasonable, even if I don't know or understand all the reasons. That's what friends do. Letting it bother you, even all this time later, is NOT what friends do. The fact of the matter is, they may have had valid reasons for doing it this way, they may have had reasons you don't consider valid, or they may have simply forgotten. In any of these situations, being upset with your friend, and even holding onto it after the fact, are just as poor of behavior as the slight you believe you have received.

Seven · #2 11-04-2025, 09:30 AM

To chime in regarding a somewhat similar situation.

A few years ago, on this board actually I was in search for a 1952 Berk Ross Mickey Mantle. Charlietheexterminator reached out to me offering me the card, raw. It presented beautifully but possessed a mark on the back. Charlie offered me the card at a reasonable price, raw, but also stated that If I didn't want it, there would be no hard feelings and he would get the card graded and then sell it himself.

I obviously took the deal. The front presents beautifully, it remains in my collection to this day as Charlie sold it to me. He didn't have to be that transparent, he didn't have to outline an entire scenario. Hell he was willing to meet closer to me here in NY to hand me the card in person.

There's plenty of goodness in this hobby. I'm sorry about the bad experience but in most cases, people are honest and upstanding. It just doesn't get spoken of enough.

premiercardcollectors · #3 11-05-2025, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seven

To chime in regarding a somewhat similar situation.

A few years ago, on this board actually I was in search for a 1952 Berk Ross Mickey Mantle. Charlietheexterminator reached out to me offering me the card, raw. It presented beautifully but possessed a mark on the back. Charlie offered me the card at a reasonable price, raw, but also stated that If I didn't want it, there would be no hard feelings and he would get the card graded and then sell it himself.

I obviously took the deal. The front presents beautifully, it remains in my collection to this day as Charlie sold it to me. He didn't have to be that transparent, he didn't have to outline an entire scenario. Hell he was willing to meet closer to me here in NY to hand me the card in person.

There's plenty of goodness in this hobby. I'm sorry about the bad experience but in most cases, people are honest and upstanding. It just doesn't get spoken of enough.

Chuck is awesome

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

parkplace33 · #4 11-05-2025, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

I am slow to take offense with friends. If I didn't trust their character, they wouldn't be my friend. So I give them the benefit of the doubt, and accept their judgment in handling a situation as reasonable, even if I don't know or understand all the reasons. That's what friends do. Letting it bother you, even all this time later, is NOT what friends do. The fact of the matter is, they may have had valid reasons for doing it this way, they may have had reasons you don't consider valid, or they may have simply forgotten. In any of these situations, being upset with your friend, and even holding onto it after the fact, are just as poor of behavior as the slight you believe you have received.

Disagree. But hey, it seems everyone on this board is fine with it. Money trumps all.

OhioLawyerF5 · #5 11-06-2025, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parkplace33

Disagree. But hey, it seems everyone on this board is fine with it. Money trumps all.

If you disagree with anything in that post, YOU are the problem in the relationship. Everything I said was about being a decent human being and longsuffering and compassionate with people you care about. Those are not things to disagree with.

It has nothing to do with money.....except for YOU apparently. If it was about the relationship, you would be reacting differently. It's all about material goods for you. That much is clear.

MikeGarcia · #6 11-06-2025, 08:18 AM

..approaching 100 posts without a card : so I'm rising from my sickbed to keep a sacred tradition alive :

I've tracked down this set's year of issue to 1941 , put out by Wheaties , available to listeners of the Jack Armstrong The All-American Boy Radio Program. The five baseball players in the set were all standouts in the 1941 All Star Game. ( The others are Mize , Reiser , Feller , and Dimaggio )

..

Exhibitman · #7 11-06-2025, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeGarcia

..approaching 100 posts without a card : so I'm rising from my sickbed to keep a sacred tradition alive :

I've tracked down this set's year of issue to 1941 , put out by Wheaties , available to listeners of the Jack Armstrong The All-American Boy Radio Program. The five baseball players in the set were all standouts in the 1941 All Star Game. ( The others are Mize , Reiser , Feller , and Dimaggio )

..

That thing is f'ing awesome! Never seen it before.

"When I am ready to sell, I will sell however I want to. No one is entitled to a first shot, even my friends. If I remember, I might reach out, but honestly I make little effort. I see friends with cards I would love to have and say the same thing to them. But I never, ever expect them to ask me first. I just throw it out there. And, if I ask, and I see them selling it the next day on the BST, or elsewhere, they are still my friend. It makes no difference to me."

100% agree, Leon. No one has a right to expect anyone else to sell their stuff to anyone or on anything but their own timeline and in any manner as they choose. I didn't de-friend the guy who sold the card I wanted, I just bought the card at auction and moved on. I still have the card and the friend.

Eric72 · #8 11-06-2025, 04:22 PM

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I�d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that�s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that�s a different story.

parkplace33 · #9 11-06-2025, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric72

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I�d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that�s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that�s a different story.

Thanks Eric, that part seems to be lost on this board.

The Detroit Collector · #10 11-07-2025, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric72

If it was my card, and I considered the person a friend, I�d at least give them the heads up that the card went to auction. If nothing else, that�s one more potential bidder. Plus, I tend to remember when a friend repeatedly expresses interest in something. Listening and paying attention is part of being a friend. Now, if it was a casual acquaintance, that�s a different story.

Agree with this. He should have at least started a conversation on price before sending it off. And it sounds like you brought up the card numerous times, so he wouldn't forget. Sounds like he thought he would get more money by going the AH route.

parkplace33 · #11 11-06-2025, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhioLawyerF5

If you disagree with anything in that post, YOU are the problem in the relationship. Everything I said was about being a decent human being and longsuffering and compassionate with people you care about. Those are not things to disagree with.

It has nothing to do with money.....except for YOU apparently. If it was about the relationship, you would be reacting differently. It's all about material goods for you. That much is clear.

Disagree for a second time

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