Hobby etiquette. Where has it gone?

HercDriver · #1 10-29-2025, 08:19 AM

I've gotten away from making offers anymore. It always seems like a get a diatribe back about how much they have into the card, or something like that, even with solid VCP comps to back up the offer. I could care less what you have into it...your poor decision is not mine to fix. When somebody prices a card now and says they are taking offers, I just wait for them to cut the price instead, until it reaches my would-be offer.

jchcollins · #2 10-29-2025, 08:33 AM

Related, but I am often amused even if just showing off cards on social media - how quickly I get some version of "HOWMUCH" thrown out in a comment. It's so rude.

No, mouth breathers - not everything you see a picture of is always for sale, but thank you for playing.

Exhibitman · #3 10-29-2025, 09:39 AM

It is worse at shows. This may come as a shock to some of the newbs out there, but there is a level of consideration and politeness towards your fellow show-goers that is expected of you when you are at a table. If a collector is looking through a box it is rude to look at the same row in the box ahead of him. He got there first, so be an adult and let him finish. This has a practical reason, too: every time you pull cards out of that row you lose the other guy�s place. I was a hockey goalie as a kid, and when I had some bozo doing that to me at a show, I was seconds away from throwing an elbow to his ribs to clear the crease. I nearly got into a fight at the Natty because a guy tried to pull away a box I was looking through. The newbs need to learn that a little courtesy is the social lubricant that makes it a community. Don�t behave like you are a Vandal pillaging Rome, show some basic consideration for your fellow collectors.

In my view, the main reason that some people act rudely in the hobby when offering is that those people don�t know how to negotiate properly. That is a characteristic that many Americans share and is one that they need to get past if they are going to thrive in today�s hobby. Polite negotiating is not disreputable or wrong, it is a necessary skill set.

CollectingAmericasPastime · #4 10-29-2025, 09:46 AM

I like watching vendor POV videos on YouTube where dealers work with the youth on how to properly negotiate. Adults that exhibit abhorrent etiquette will most likely only learn by being shut down enough times. It is our job as adults, however, to help educate the youth on hobby and negotiating etiquette, doing so with patience and understanding.

ullmandds · #5 10-29-2025, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMayUSA6060

I like watching vendor POV videos on YouTube where dealers work with the youth on how to properly negotiate. Adults that exhibit abhorrent etiquette will most likely only learn by being shut down enough times. It is our job as adults, however, to help educate the youth on hobby and negotiating etiquette, doing so with patience and understanding.

that sounds useful! I was attempting to sell something on facebook marketplace and a user agreed to buy my item...then when it came time to pay they attempted to negotiate...never having seen the item in person mind you. I'm like...WTF??????

Peter_Spaeth · #6 10-29-2025, 10:10 AM

Every generation bemoans the manners of the next one, it seems.

From 1960:
Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say?
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy, loafers
And while we're on the subject

Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Beercan collector · #7 10-29-2025, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Every generation bemoans the manners of the next one, it seems.

From 1960:
Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say?
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy, loafers
And while we're on the subject

Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Lee Adams born August 14 1924 Is Still with us ! 101 years old

Brent G. · #8 10-29-2025, 10:42 AM

The saddest thing to me are the youngins who don’t know a dollar sign goes BEFORE the number. We’ve clearly failed them, including their inability to sign their name, so we must deal with the repercussions, especially their shorthand communication techniques.

Peter_Spaeth · #9 10-29-2025, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beercan collector

Lee Adams born August 14 1924 Is Still with us ! 101 years old

What's the story, morning glory?
What's the tale, nightingale?

SyrNy1960 · #10 10-29-2025, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Every generation bemoans the manners of the next one, it seems.

From 1960:
Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say?
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy, loafers
And while we're on the subject

Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

So true, but it's much worse today. In the 70's, when my friends and I would go to the movies, if we were getting loud, the adults around us would put us in check (tell us to be quiet); and we would. Today, they don't hesitate to snap right back at you. Plus, you'll need to be concerned what's possibly waiting for you out in the parking lot.

I don't recall in the 70's, when we were riding our bikes in the neighborhood, and a car was coming, that we would remain in the middle of the road and stare the driver down. We moved on our own and waived to the driver.

CollectingAmericasPastime · #11 10-29-2025, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SyrNy1960

So true, but it's much worse today. In the 70's, when my friends and I would go to the movies, if we were getting loud, the adults around us would put us in check (tell us to be quiet); and we would. Today, they don't hesitate to snap right back at you. Plus, you'll need to be concerned what's possibly waiting for you out in the parking lot.

I don't recall in the 70's, when we were riding our bikes in the neighborhood, and a car was coming, that we would remain in the middle of the road and stare the driver down. We moved on our own and waived to the driver.

That's the influencer entitlement culture for ya. Behavior is being modeled after what generates clicks and views. Look at ESPN - their "talk shows" have a daily **** measuring contest of who can have the hottest hot take, and when one ridiculous hot take comes to fruition, they peacock all over the place. There's a sheep mentality where everyone follows the herd, while trying to stand out somehow.

Humility is becoming increasingly more difficult to find.

parkplace33 · #12 10-29-2025, 11:16 AM

I rarely see people helping each other out. Those stories are far and few between.

I have a "friend" that I have had dealings with for over 20 years. He had a very unique card that he knew I would like to buy. I asked him over the years to just let me know when it would come up for sale so I can first crack. Well, earlier this year, it came to auction in a major auction house. When I asked him about it, he stated "Well, I didn't want to squeeze you on price, so I just sent it to the auction house to sell". Sigh, no, you wanted to maximize all the profit and not give me the opportunity to buy.

OhioLawyerF5 · #13 10-29-2025, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SyrNy1960

So true, but it's much worse today. In the 70's, when my friends and I would go to the movies, if we were getting loud, the adults around us would put us in check (tell us to be quiet); and we would. Today, they don't hesitate to snap right back at you. Plus, you'll need to be concerned what's possibly waiting for you out in the parking lot.

I don't recall in the 70's, when we were riding our bikes in the neighborhood, and a car was coming, that we would remain in the middle of the road and stare the driver down. We moved on our own and waived to the driver.

That is behavior that a few engaged in back then, too. And it's uncommon today as well. You can't try to compare the worst of today's actors to the best of yesterday's. There were absolutely rebellious kids in the 70s who wouldn't hesitate to be rude to an adult or wait for them in the parking lot. Just like today. But there are also plenty of well-behaved kids today, just like back then.

oldjudge · #14 10-29-2025, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Every generation bemoans the manners of the next one, it seems.

From 1960:
Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say?
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy, loafers
And while we're on the subject

Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Well said, Paul!

bnorth · #15 10-30-2025, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Every generation bemoans the manners of the next one, it seems.

From 1960:
Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say?
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy, loafers
And while we're on the subject

Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Very true Peter. Sadly most forget they used to be one of those dumb lazy young people that wanted everything handed to them. Luckily many of us outgrow that stage.

On the etiquette part I love how people are OK to purchase from you but send a detailed list on how they want you to ship the item. They must think the seller has never shipped an item before. On eBay they get instantly blocked because they are the type that generally cause most of the problems.

SyrNy1960 · #16 10-30-2025, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bnorth

Sadly most forget they used to be one of those dumb lazy young people that wanted everything handed to them.

Some maybe, but not most.

CollectingAmericasPastime · #17 10-29-2025, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ullmandds

that sounds useful! I was attempting to sell something on facebook marketplace and a user agreed to buy my item...then when it came time to pay they attempted to negotiate...never having seen the item in person mind you. I'm like...WTF??????

Facebook Marketplace is the zombie apocalypse of transactional behavior.

The vendor POV videos are excellent and very useful. I've learned a lot personally on how to deal with both buyers and sellers by watching them. At the card shop I work at on weekends, we also take it upon ourselves to educate kids on etiquette. Cultivating that aspect of the hobby will go a long way in maintaining the hobby as a whole.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
B/S/T Etiquette	bcbgcbrcb	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	303	03-03-2025 07:20 PM
BST etiquette	Flintboy	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	51	01-01-2023 07:47 PM
Ebay Etiquette?	BradW	Postwar Baseball Cards Forum (Pre-1980)	7	08-06-2021 04:44 PM
Board etiquette	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	38	01-28-2007 01:48 PM
Trader's etiquette	Archive	Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions	18	05-27-2005 03:03 PM