How Will World War III Affect Card Values?

[Yoda]

The only survivors will be cockroaches, Cher and TPGers.

[Exhibitman]

Tom Lehrer: "So Long Mom" (1965)

https://youtu.be/pklr0UD9eSo

This year we've been celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the civil war and the fiftieth anniversary of the beginning of world war I and the twentieth anniversary of the end of World War II. All in all, it's been a good year for the war buffs and a number of LPs and television specials have come out capitalizing on all this "nostalgia" with particular emphasis on the songs of various wars. I feel that if any songs are going to come out of World War III, we'd better start writing them now. I have one here. you might call it a bit of pre-nostalgia. this is the song that the boys sang as they went bravely off to World War III:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But while you swelter
Down there in your shelter,
You can see me
On your tv.

While we're attacking frontally,
Watch Brinkly and Huntley,
Describing contrapuntally
The cities we have lost.
No need for you to miss a minute
Of the agonizing holocaust. (yeah!)

Little johnny jones he was a US pilot,
And no shrinking violet was he.
He was mighty proud when World War III was declared,
He wasn't scared,
No siree!

And this is what he said on
His way to Armageddon:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But though I may roam,
I'll come back to my home,
Although it may be
A pile of debris.

Remember, mommy,
I'm off to get a commie,
So send me a salami,
And try to smile somehow.
I'll look for you when the war is over,
An hour and a half from now!

And another, "We All Will Go Together When We Go":



No more ashes, no more sackcloth
And an armband made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve

And we will all go together when we go
What a comforting fact that is to know
Universal bereavement -
An inspiring achievement!
Yes, we all will go together when we go

We will all go together when we go
All suffused with an incandescent glow
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go

Oh, we will all fry together when we fry
We'll be French-fried potatoes by-and-by
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie
Yes, we all will fry together when we fry

Down by the old maelstrom
There'll be a storm before the calm

And we will all bake together when we bake
There'll be nobody present at the wake
With complete participation
In that grand incineration
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak

Oh, we will all char together when we char
And let there be no moaning of the bar
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that ICBM
And the party will be come-as-you-are

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn
You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas
Go directly, do not pass 'GO', do not collect two hundred dollars

And we will all go together when we go
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo
When the air becomes uraneous
We will all go simultaneous
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together
Yes, we all will go together when we go

[ALR-bishop]

[chalupacollects]

Chase cards will have pieces of shrapnel inserted on them...

[perezfan]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Tom Lehrer: "So Long Mom" (1965)

https://youtu.be/pklr0UD9eSo

This year we've been celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the civil war and the fiftieth anniversary of the beginning of world war I and the twentieth anniversary of the end of World War II. All in all, it's been a good year for the war buffs and a number of LPs and television specials have come out capitalizing on all this "nostalgia" with particular emphasis on the songs of various wars. I feel that if any songs are going to come out of World War III, we'd better start writing them now. I have one here. you might call it a bit of pre-nostalgia. this is the song that the boys sang as they went bravely off to World War III:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But while you swelter
Down there in your shelter,
You can see me
On your tv.

While we're attacking frontally,
Watch Brinkly and Huntley,
Describing contrapuntally
The cities we have lost.
No need for you to miss a minute
Of the agonizing holocaust. (yeah!)

Little johnny jones he was a US pilot,
And no shrinking violet was he.
He was mighty proud when World War III was declared,
He wasn't scared,
No siree!

And this is what he said on
His way to Armageddon:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the bomb,
So don't wait up for me.
But though I may roam,
I'll come back to my home,
Although it may be
A pile of debris.

Remember, mommy,
I'm off to get a commie,
So send me a salami,
And try to smile somehow.
I'll look for you when the war is over,
An hour and a half from now!

And another, "We All Will Go Together When We Go":



No more ashes, no more sackcloth
And an armband made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve

And we will all go together when we go
What a comforting fact that is to know
Universal bereavement -
An inspiring achievement!
Yes, we all will go together when we go

We will all go together when we go
All suffused with an incandescent glow
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go

Oh, we will all fry together when we fry
We'll be French-fried potatoes by-and-by
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie
Yes, we all will fry together when we fry

Down by the old maelstrom
There'll be a storm before the calm

And we will all bake together when we bake
There'll be nobody present at the wake
With complete participation
In that grand incineration
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak

Oh, we will all char together when we char
And let there be no moaning of the bar
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that ICBM
And the party will be come-as-you-are

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn
You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas
Go directly, do not pass 'GO', do not collect two hundred dollars

And we will all go together when we go
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo
When the air becomes uraneous
We will all go simultaneous
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together
Yes, we all will go together when we go

Brilliant!

Here's another one of my favorites.... and just as pertinent today as it was in 1965. Lehrer was (and is) a true underrated genius....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRLON3ddZIw&t=25s

[CobbSpikedMe]

Cards will have to go to paper drives, I'll be setting up a centralized drop off here so you can send me all your cards and I'll make sure they get where they need to go.




.

[samosa4u]

The rookie autographed two-color patch card of Vladimir Putin has already gone up 20X!

[Yoda]

Now, after this morning's invasion by Russia of independent and democratically elected Ukraine, I hope many will see that card collecting is just a nice hobby. The monetization and commercialization has seriously dented the spirit of the hobby and allowed obscene fraudsters to operate freely. I speak as someone whose first pack purchase was a '51 Bowman.

[Exhibitman]

"The monetization and commercialization has seriously dented the spirit of the hobby and allowed obscene fraudsters to operate freely."

But quintessentially American: find something fun and interesting, commercialize and monetize it, screw it up.

[jingram058]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Now, after this morning's invasion by Russia of independent and democratically elected Ukraine, I hope many will see that card collecting is just a nice hobby. The monetization and commercialization has seriously dented the spirit of the hobby and allowed obscene fraudsters to operate freely. I speak as someone whose first pack purchase was a '51 Bowman.

+1 and well said

[darwinbulldog]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Now, after this morning's invasion by Russia of independent and democratically elected Ukraine, I hope many will see that card collecting is just a nice hobby. The monetization and commercialization has seriously dented the spirit of the hobby and allowed obscene fraudsters to operate freely. I speak as someone whose first pack purchase was a '51 Bowman.

Right on. And the hobby problems themselves are all pretty trivial. Not feeling too hopeful at the moment, but still hoping Russia withdraws soon without further bloodshed.

[Exhibitman]

Question: If Russia was running an auction and had a chase card from a prewar set most of us needed...

[BobC]

Originally Posted by Yoda

The only survivors will be cockroaches, Cher and TPGers.

You forgot Twinkies!

[Exhibitman]

Beckett's oversized slabs too; they can be used as impromptu fallout shelter roofing.

[kmac32]

If it becomes nuclear, the price of cremation will go way down!

[jchcollins]

You will know the end is nigh when your doorbell rings, and Vladimir Putin appears on your stoupe with an armed personal guard and demands you hand over your "base-bol cards".