Festivus - Airing of Grievances

[Leon]

I haven't grown my hair back.

.

[butchie_t]

I am irritated when toilet paper sticks to the bottom of my shoe and no one tells me about it.....

It chaffs me......

[BCauley]

Originally Posted by butchie_t

I am irritated when toilet paper sticks to the bottom of my shoe and no one tells me about it.....

It chaffs me......

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

[Seven]

Tired of investors and flippers.

Kicking myself that I didn't buy a Trout rookie before the boom.

Upset that I wasn't born in 1935, could've gotten all the cards I wanted on the cheap, a Nice house too!

[Wanaselja]

Originally Posted by Seven

Upset that I wasn't born in 1935, could've gotten all the cards I wanted on the cheap, a Nice house too!

Amen!

[Dead-Ball-Hitter]

Wife put my Dan Brouthers in the Penske File!!

Pensky: Where's Tuttle?
George: He's on vacation.
Pensky: He was on vacation the last time I dropped by. Give me my file. [looks through the file] Looks like you put a lot of work into this.
George: Well, you know in college they used to call me the little bulldog.
Pensky: Hey, you are Pensky material. Would you ever consider coming to work directly for me?

[Johnny630]

Laziness in the Industry

[butchie_t]

Originally Posted by BCauley

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

Amen to THAT!

[parkplace33]

Card sellers that don't show backs of cards. I can think of a few

[gabrinus]

Someone working a gas powered leaf-blower for more than 30 minutes...Jerry

[jingram058]

A bit miffed that time-travel hasn't come to pass...

Would love to go back to, say, 1911 or so, and get a hoard of all the cards folks go all gaga over today, and then jump back to now. But then, when I post 'em here or try to sell 'em, they'll say they're fake.

[Exhibitman]

As a comic I love Festivus because the airing of grievances allows for a free form complaint fest. I'm probably going to regret it but here are grievances I air around this time of the year when I do stand-up:

Handicapped people correcting me to say "disabled": stop bitching, you already have the good parking. Now I can't even say handicapped? That's retarded.

Costco food samplers laying all sorts of rules on me. You're handing out junk food in a warehouse not saving the manatees. Just put the food in the cup and STFU.

The sign at the Y's pool that warns people with active diarrhea to stay out of the pool: who goes swimming with the trots?

Guys who post on social media about their " lovely bride": you know, "At dinner with my lovely bride. Twenty years and still as madly in love as ever." Besides the fact that I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I read something like that, you're trying too hard. Those are the guys we have to worry about. If we don't see the lovely bride for a few weeks odds are her head is in a bowling bag and he's eating her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

A guest dropping a dookie in my office or house. Be a decent person and hold it in until you get to your own toilet. What do you want next, sex with my wife?

White people using black slang: if I hear one more white woman saying she's woke I am going to hit someone.

People who say don’t speak ill of the dead. Why, do jackholes get better with age? And if that's the rule, why don't we hear nice things about Hitler?

Couples who say they are best friends. Yeah, because they suck at making friends.

CVS's mile long receipt. I'm just trying to buy a battery for my car key fob, not wallpaper my bathroom. And what's worse now that I'm in my fifties is that the offers are insulting. 20 years ago, it was offers for tequila and condoms, now it is stool softener and mouthwash.

People who say I forgot to eat. I have forgotten my keys. I have forgotten my wallet. I've even forgotten the baby bucket on the roof of the car. I have never, ever forgotten to eat. Anyone who says that they forgot to eat should be forced to fast for two weeks. Won't forget that again.

People who give gift cards from fast food places. Yeah, when you want to show just how little you care.

My wife complaining about my taking a dump.
"Oh my god, what are you doing in there?"
"Masturbating. What do you think I'm doing? Leave me alone."

Religious nuts who praise God for saving them from the tornado that wrecked their town. "Jesus loves us he saved us from the tornado!" Maybe but he sure hates your neighbors.

Pregnant women who expect me to congratulate them.
If you want congratulations for a pregnancy come back in twenty years and we will see how the kid turned out, Mrs. Hitler. Be a hell of s thing to get on the train to the death camp thinking "damn, I congratulated his mother."

Whoever invented truck nuts.
When I look at a truck I never think "say, that would look great with balls."

Scented markers. We tell kids "Don't huff glue" but it is Ok to smell these?

As much as I appreciate the extra leg room on flights how about some extra ass room? Not everyone is built like a 14 year old Asian girl.

Thanks, you've been a great crowd. Enjoy Twisted Sister.

[Stampsfan]

Originally Posted by BCauley

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

Toilet paper put on rolls backwards, where it drops down from the back.

Also, incessant emails from AH's in the last 48 hours. Look, I just viewed your auction but have not found anything that fits my needs. Perhaps email me if I actually bid on something, but that's it.

[jp1216]

BST Threads! Put FS, WTB, WTTF etc in the title - AND please edit the title once the item is SOLD.

[MattyC]

Oh boy. Healthy to air these out...

1. These new jacks on social media who randomly ask you what you think their shit is worth. Like Tommy Lee said to Harrison Ford at that waterfall: I DON'T CARE.

2. The self-anointed, gauche, wannabe Gordon Gekko gurus who've sprung up in the last year or two like some kind of hobby fungus— these guys act like someone made them mayors of the hobby. The Gary V's etc.— along with their audience. I don't see what credentials they have, that would ever make me prostrate myself before them. And almost all of the time, the crap they're spewing is solely designed to put money in their pockets. Some of these guys are just brazen wannabe Wall Street Turks who are all about cash cash cash, oblivious to how crass and obnoxious they look. But the sneakily more odious variant are the ones who try and cloak and gild themselves in some form of genuine card-lover, passionate collector schtick.

3. New jacks who put something up for sale without a price tag. If you're selling it, tell me the number you want. This is a business transaction not a flirtation.

4. These guys on social media who try and flaunt high grade cards that have middling at best eye appeal, but just cost a bundle. Cards that anyone with money can just immediately get at the next auction. Try finding and sharing a standout example of a card that is always found blurry or tilted or off-centered, or a piece that is really scarce or rare, something not seen every day. If I see another of these Tom Brady ticket cards I'm gonna barf.

5. Fixed price listings, be it on eBay, PWCC vault, anywhere, that are just wholly untethered to any reality or pricing data in this dimension.

The above need to make like an un-doctored vintage card and get bent. Okay, exorcised now. Off to hit leg day and burn off all that Xmas food.

[Seven]

Originally Posted by MattyC

3. New jacks who put something up for sale without a price tag. If you're selling it, tell me the number you want. This is a business transaction not a flirtation.

So you come here often?

[Andrew1975]

Originally Posted by MattyC

Oh boy. Healthy to air these out...

2. The self-anointed, gauche, wannabe Gordon Gekko gurus who've sprung up in the last year or two like some kind of hobby fungus— these guys act like someone made them mayors of the hobby. The Gary V's etc.— along with their audience. I don't see what credentials they have, that would ever make me prostrate myself before them. And almost all of the time, the crap they're spewing is solely designed to put money in their pockets. Some of these guys are just brazen wannabe Wall Street Turks who are all about cash cash cash, oblivious to how crass and obnoxious they look. But the sneakily more odious variant are the ones who try and cloak and gild themselves in some form of genuine card-lover, passionate collector schtick.

This ⬆️… big time.

[butchie_t]

Originally Posted by Leon

I haven't grown my hair back.

.

I have given up on that and now embrace the bald head o' mine. ;-)

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by Leon

I haven't grown my hair back.

.

But you are beloved by the forum members. Surely that is better than flowing locks. Isn't it? Hmm.

[atx840]

That SGC has stopped grading T206 errors and blanks....PSA slabs just don't present as nice IMO.

[Vegas Cards]

Prices aren't falling on the cards I want to buy.

[jingram058]

I haven't found the 1934 Goudey Gehrig, 1941 Play Ball DiMaggio and Williams, and 1958 Topps Mantle cards I foolishly sold years ago when I was desperate for money. Sold them, and others, for $200! I have replacements of them now, but for WAY MORE than $200 clams, I can tell you!