Festivus - Airing of Grievances

[BCauley]

Originally Posted by butchie_t

I am irritated when toilet paper sticks to the bottom of my shoe and no one tells me about it.....

It chaffs me......

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

[Seven]

Tired of investors and flippers.

Kicking myself that I didn't buy a Trout rookie before the boom.

Upset that I wasn't born in 1935, could've gotten all the cards I wanted on the cheap, a Nice house too!

[Wanaselja]

Originally Posted by Seven

Upset that I wasn't born in 1935, could've gotten all the cards I wanted on the cheap, a Nice house too!

Amen!

[Dead-Ball-Hitter]

Wife put my Dan Brouthers in the Penske File!!

Pensky: Where's Tuttle?
George: He's on vacation.
Pensky: He was on vacation the last time I dropped by. Give me my file. [looks through the file] Looks like you put a lot of work into this.
George: Well, you know in college they used to call me the little bulldog.
Pensky: Hey, you are Pensky material. Would you ever consider coming to work directly for me?

[Johnny630]

Laziness in the Industry

[butchie_t]

Originally Posted by BCauley

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

Amen to THAT!

[parkplace33]

Card sellers that don't show backs of cards. I can think of a few

[gabrinus]

Someone working a gas powered leaf-blower for more than 30 minutes...Jerry

[jingram058]

A bit miffed that time-travel hasn't come to pass...

Would love to go back to, say, 1911 or so, and get a hoard of all the cards folks go all gaga over today, and then jump back to now. But then, when I post 'em here or try to sell 'em, they'll say they're fake.

[Mike D.]

Originally Posted by jingram058

A bit miffed that time-travel hasn't come to pass...

Would love to go back to, say, 1911 or so, and get a hoard of all the cards folks go all gaga over today, and then jump back to now. But then, when I post 'em here or try to sell 'em, they'll say they're fake.

The key is to find a safe place to stash them in 1911 that remains standing and unrenovated in 2021. That way they’ll naturally age, but stay in top condition.

Easier said than done.

[mrreality68]

Many sellers or traders selling on BST but not including photos of what they are selling. But they put selling prices for them for big dollars and say “ email me”

[steve B]

Originally Posted by Mike D.

The key is to find a safe place to stash them in 1911 that remains standing and unrenovated in 2021. That way they’ll naturally age, but stay in top condition.

Easier said than done.

My house! hasn't had much major work since right around 1910. Which is both the good news and the bad news....

I've been all over it, even in the very hard to reach places. Nothing. Oh, a very dirty nylon Cowboys mini football I suspect the tennants kid lost, and a lobster trap. The carriage house still has some horse feed in the bins, and some very old tire chains in a cupboard.

[Exhibitman]

As a comic I love Festivus because the airing of grievances allows for a free form complaint fest. I'm probably going to regret it but here are grievances I air around this time of the year when I do stand-up:

Handicapped people correcting me to say "disabled": stop bitching, you already have the good parking. Now I can't even say handicapped? That's retarded.

Costco food samplers laying all sorts of rules on me. You're handing out junk food in a warehouse not saving the manatees. Just put the food in the cup and STFU.

The sign at the Y's pool that warns people with active diarrhea to stay out of the pool: who goes swimming with the trots?

Guys who post on social media about their " lovely bride": you know, "At dinner with my lovely bride. Twenty years and still as madly in love as ever." Besides the fact that I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I read something like that, you're trying too hard. Those are the guys we have to worry about. If we don't see the lovely bride for a few weeks odds are her head is in a bowling bag and he's eating her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

A guest dropping a dookie in my office or house. Be a decent person and hold it in until you get to your own toilet. What do you want next, sex with my wife?

White people using black slang: if I hear one more white woman saying she's woke I am going to hit someone.

People who say don’t speak ill of the dead. Why, do jackholes get better with age? And if that's the rule, why don't we hear nice things about Hitler?

Couples who say they are best friends. Yeah, because they suck at making friends.

CVS's mile long receipt. I'm just trying to buy a battery for my car key fob, not wallpaper my bathroom. And what's worse now that I'm in my fifties is that the offers are insulting. 20 years ago, it was offers for tequila and condoms, now it is stool softener and mouthwash.

People who say I forgot to eat. I have forgotten my keys. I have forgotten my wallet. I've even forgotten the baby bucket on the roof of the car. I have never, ever forgotten to eat. Anyone who says that they forgot to eat should be forced to fast for two weeks. Won't forget that again.

People who give gift cards from fast food places. Yeah, when you want to show just how little you care.

My wife complaining about my taking a dump.
"Oh my god, what are you doing in there?"
"Masturbating. What do you think I'm doing? Leave me alone."

Religious nuts who praise God for saving them from the tornado that wrecked their town. "Jesus loves us he saved us from the tornado!" Maybe but he sure hates your neighbors.

Pregnant women who expect me to congratulate them.
If you want congratulations for a pregnancy come back in twenty years and we will see how the kid turned out, Mrs. Hitler. Be a hell of s thing to get on the train to the death camp thinking "damn, I congratulated his mother."

Whoever invented truck nuts.
When I look at a truck I never think "say, that would look great with balls."

Scented markers. We tell kids "Don't huff glue" but it is Ok to smell these?

As much as I appreciate the extra leg room on flights how about some extra ass room? Not everyone is built like a 14 year old Asian girl.

Thanks, you've been a great crowd. Enjoy Twisted Sister.

[butchie_t]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

As a comic I love Festivus because the airing of grievances allows for a free form complaint fest. I'm probably going to regret it but here are grievances I air around this time of the year when I do stand-up:

Handicapped people correcting me to say "disabled": stop bitching, you already have the good parking. Now I can't even say handicapped? That's retarded.

Costco food samplers laying all sorts of rules on me. You're handing out junk food in a warehouse not saving the manatees. Just put the food in the cup and STFU.

The sign at the Y's pool that warns people with active diarrhea to stay out of the pool: who goes swimming with the trots?

Guys who post on social media about their " lovely bride": you know, "At dinner with my lovely bride. Twenty years and still as madly in love as ever." Besides the fact that I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I read something like that, you're trying too hard. Those are the guys we have to worry about. If we don't see the lovely bride for a few weeks odds are her head is in a bowling bag and he's eating her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

A guest dropping a dookie in my office or house. Be a decent person and hold it in until you get to your own toilet. What do you want next, sex with my wife?

White people using black slang: if I hear one more white woman saying she's woke I am going to hit someone.

People who say don’t speak ill of the dead. Why, do jackholes get better with age? And if that's the rule, why don't we hear nice things about Hitler?

Couples who say they are best friends. Yeah, because they suck at making friends.

CVS's mile long receipt. I'm just trying to buy a battery for my car key fob, not wallpaper my bathroom. And what's worse now that I'm in my fifties is that the offers are insulting. 20 years ago, it was offers for tequila and condoms, now it is stool softener and mouthwash.

People who say I forgot to eat. I have forgotten my keys. I have forgotten my wallet. I've even forgotten the baby bucket on the roof of the car. I have never, ever forgotten to eat. Anyone who says that they forgot to eat should be forced to fast for two weeks. Won't forget that again.

People who give gift cards from fast food places. Yeah, when you want to show just how little you care.

My wife complaining about my taking a dump.
"Oh my god, what are you doing in there?"
"Masturbating. What do you think I'm doing? Leave me alone."

Religious nuts who praise God for saving them from the tornado that wrecked their town. "Jesus loves us he saved us from the tornado!" Maybe but he sure hates your neighbors.

Pregnant women who expect me to congratulate them.
If you want congratulations for a pregnancy come back in twenty years and we will see how the kid turned out, Mrs. Hitler. Be a hell of s thing to get on the train to the death camp thinking "damn, I congratulated his mother."

Whoever invented truck nuts.
When I look at a truck I never think "say, that would look great with balls."

Scented markers. We tell kids "Don't huff glue" but it is Ok to smell these?

As much as I appreciate the extra leg room on flights how about some extra ass room? Not everyone is built like a 14 year old Asian girl.

Thanks, you've been a great crowd. Enjoy Twisted Sister.

THREAD WINNER!!!!!!

Thank you for the laughs….

[ullmandds]

my grievance is "puffery," I'm not a fan!

[Tere1071]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

As a comic I love Festivus because the airing of grievances allows for a free form complaint fest. I'm probably going to regret it but here are grievances I air around this time of the year when I do stand-up:

Handicapped people correcting me to say "disabled": stop bitching, you already have the good parking. Now I can't even say handicapped? That's retarded.

Costco food samplers laying all sorts of rules on me. You're handing out junk food in a warehouse not saving the manatees. Just put the food in the cup and STFU.

The sign at the Y's pool that warns people with active diarrhea to stay out of the pool: who goes swimming with the trots?

Guys who post on social media about their " lovely bride": you know, "At dinner with my lovely bride. Twenty years and still as madly in love as ever." Besides the fact that I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I read something like that, you're trying too hard. Those are the guys we have to worry about. If we don't see the lovely bride for a few weeks odds are her head is in a bowling bag and he's eating her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

A guest dropping a dookie in my office or house. Be a decent person and hold it in until you get to your own toilet. What do you want next, sex with my wife?

White people using black slang: if I hear one more white woman saying she's woke I am going to hit someone.

People who say don’t speak ill of the dead. Why, do jackholes get better with age? And if that's the rule, why don't we hear nice things about Hitler?

Couples who say they are best friends. Yeah, because they suck at making friends.

CVS's mile long receipt. I'm just trying to buy a battery for my car key fob, not wallpaper my bathroom. And what's worse now that I'm in my fifties is that the offers are insulting. 20 years ago, it was offers for tequila and condoms, now it is stool softener and mouthwash.

People who say I forgot to eat. I have forgotten my keys. I have forgotten my wallet. I've even forgotten the baby bucket on the roof of the car. I have never, ever forgotten to eat. Anyone who says that they forgot to eat should be forced to fast for two weeks. Won't forget that again.

People who give gift cards from fast food places. Yeah, when you want to show just how little you care.

My wife complaining about my taking a dump.
"Oh my god, what are you doing in there?"
"Masturbating. What do you think I'm doing? Leave me alone."

Religious nuts who praise God for saving them from the tornado that wrecked their town. "Jesus loves us he saved us from the tornado!" Maybe but he sure hates your neighbors.

Pregnant women who expect me to congratulate them.
If you want congratulations for a pregnancy come back in twenty years and we will see how the kid turned out, Mrs. Hitler. Be a hell of s thing to get on the train to the death camp thinking "damn, I congratulated his mother."

Whoever invented truck nuts.
When I look at a truck I never think "say, that would look great with balls."

Scented markers. We tell kids "Don't huff glue" but it is Ok to smell these?

As much as I appreciate the extra leg room on flights how about some extra ass room? Not everyone is built like a 14 year old Asian girl.

Thanks, you've been a great crowd. Enjoy Twisted Sister.

I can always appreciate a misanthropic point of view- well stated and enjoyable to read.

Phil aka Tere1071

[yanks87]

eBay sellers that are open to offers, but then bitch and moan when you actually do.

[Stampsfan]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

As a comic I love Festivus because the airing of grievances allows for a free form complaint fest. I'm probably going to regret it but here are grievances I air around this time of the year when I do stand-up:

Handicapped people correcting me to say "disabled": stop bitching, you already have the good parking. Now I can't even say handicapped? That's retarded.

....

Great stuff. I admire anyone who can stand up and try live comedy.
Thanks for sharing...

[Stampsfan]

Originally Posted by BCauley

To add on to that, I hate when I can't get a new roll of toilet paper started and I end up tearing through three layers of it because I can't get that starter tab unstuck.

Toilet paper put on rolls backwards, where it drops down from the back.

Also, incessant emails from AH's in the last 48 hours. Look, I just viewed your auction but have not found anything that fits my needs. Perhaps email me if I actually bid on something, but that's it.

[jp1216]

BST Threads! Put FS, WTB, WTTF etc in the title - AND please edit the title once the item is SOLD.

[MattyC]

Oh boy. Healthy to air these out...

1. These new jacks on social media who randomly ask you what you think their shit is worth. Like Tommy Lee said to Harrison Ford at that waterfall: I DON'T CARE.

2. The self-anointed, gauche, wannabe Gordon Gekko gurus who've sprung up in the last year or two like some kind of hobby fungus— these guys act like someone made them mayors of the hobby. The Gary V's etc.— along with their audience. I don't see what credentials they have, that would ever make me prostrate myself before them. And almost all of the time, the crap they're spewing is solely designed to put money in their pockets. Some of these guys are just brazen wannabe Wall Street Turks who are all about cash cash cash, oblivious to how crass and obnoxious they look. But the sneakily more odious variant are the ones who try and cloak and gild themselves in some form of genuine card-lover, passionate collector schtick.

3. New jacks who put something up for sale without a price tag. If you're selling it, tell me the number you want. This is a business transaction not a flirtation.

4. These guys on social media who try and flaunt high grade cards that have middling at best eye appeal, but just cost a bundle. Cards that anyone with money can just immediately get at the next auction. Try finding and sharing a standout example of a card that is always found blurry or tilted or off-centered, or a piece that is really scarce or rare, something not seen every day. If I see another of these Tom Brady ticket cards I'm gonna barf.

5. Fixed price listings, be it on eBay, PWCC vault, anywhere, that are just wholly untethered to any reality or pricing data in this dimension.

The above need to make like an un-doctored vintage card and get bent. Okay, exorcised now. Off to hit leg day and burn off all that Xmas food.

[Seven]

Originally Posted by MattyC

3. New jacks who put something up for sale without a price tag. If you're selling it, tell me the number you want. This is a business transaction not a flirtation.

So you come here often?

[MattyC]

Originally Posted by Seven

So you come here often?

Well played, sir. Well played

[Andrew1975]

Originally Posted by MattyC

Oh boy. Healthy to air these out...

2. The self-anointed, gauche, wannabe Gordon Gekko gurus who've sprung up in the last year or two like some kind of hobby fungus— these guys act like someone made them mayors of the hobby. The Gary V's etc.— along with their audience. I don't see what credentials they have, that would ever make me prostrate myself before them. And almost all of the time, the crap they're spewing is solely designed to put money in their pockets. Some of these guys are just brazen wannabe Wall Street Turks who are all about cash cash cash, oblivious to how crass and obnoxious they look. But the sneakily more odious variant are the ones who try and cloak and gild themselves in some form of genuine card-lover, passionate collector schtick.

This ⬆️… big time.

[whiteymet]

I was recently dealing with a member who sells a lot here on BST and whom I had purchased from before.

He was selling an item he was not sure what the value was. He wrote:

"If I can get some responses on pricing you'll have first shot".

He then replied:

"just had another member offer me, get this, $1500. I had no idea. I don't know where that puts you but that's WAY more than I thought".

It was way more than I thought too. But I replied:

"Gulp! Me too. I was thinking much less than that. But since you gave me first shot and I really want it I'll swallow REAL HARD and match the offer."

His reply:

"as I was responding to you the other guy said he'd like to up the offer to $1800. I'm not going to start a bidding war but if you want to put in one last offer please feel free".

Needless to say I felt really put off. Not knowing anyone who would up their offer before a reply to their first. I replied

"I'm feeling jerked around a bit here.

I am hoping you will keep the promise you gave me and honor the $1500 for me".

I assume you can guess what happened.

Maybe it's just me. Wonder how others feel

[Exhibitman]

Well, Fred since we all deal with the devil because stuff trumps all else, I wouldn't get too bunged up when a seller makes it all about money...because at this stage, it is all about the money.

[bnorth]

Originally Posted by whiteymet

I was recently dealing with a member who sells a lot here on BST and whom I had purchased from before.

He was selling an item he was not sure what the value was. He wrote:

"If I can get some responses on pricing you'll have first shot".

He then replied:

"just had another member offer me, get this, $1500. I had no idea. I don't know where that puts you but that's WAY more than I thought".

It was way more than I thought too. But I replied:

"Gulp! Me too. I was thinking much less than that. But since you gave me first shot and I really want it I'll swallow REAL HARD and match the offer."

His reply:

"as I was responding to you the other guy said he'd like to up the offer to $1800. I'm not going to start a bidding war but if you want to put in one last offer please feel free".

Needless to say I felt really put off. Not knowing anyone who would up their offer before a reply to their first. I replied

"I'm feeling jerked around a bit here.

I am hoping you will keep the promise you gave me and honor the $1500 for me".

I assume you can guess what happened.

Maybe it's just me. Wonder how others feel

Card is in the mail. Just not to you.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by whiteymet

I was recently dealing with a member who sells a lot here on BST and whom I had purchased from before.

He was selling an item he was not sure what the value was. He wrote:

"If I can get some responses on pricing you'll have first shot".

He then replied:

"just had another member offer me, get this, $1500. I had no idea. I don't know where that puts you but that's WAY more than I thought".

It was way more than I thought too. But I replied:

"Gulp! Me too. I was thinking much less than that. But since you gave me first shot and I really want it I'll swallow REAL HARD and match the offer."

His reply:

"as I was responding to you the other guy said he'd like to up the offer to $1800. I'm not going to start a bidding war but if you want to put in one last offer please feel free".

Needless to say I felt really put off. Not knowing anyone who would up their offer before a reply to their first. I replied

"I'm feeling jerked around a bit here.

I am hoping you will keep the promise you gave me and honor the $1500 for me".

I assume you can guess what happened.

Maybe it's just me. Wonder how others feel

I hope the seller was playing games, trying to get more money, and is now stuck with the card.

If they come back to you with some BS story about the buyer backing out...tell them, "sorry, best I can do is $1,200."