What would you say to this fellow board member?

[Jim65]

There are 3 sides to every story, your side, his side and the truth. Tell us who he is so he can choose to tell his side. Its only fair.

[savedfrommyspokes]

Thank you all for your responses, I appreciate them. My intent was not to "out" this member, but to make sure I was not "falling out of the loop" after dealing with him and to see if it might be worthwhile to reach out to him via this site in a private message. I am not going to drop to his level and attempt to extort any resolution on my end by threatening to reveal him and post screen grabs of the messages exchanged. Unless he posts something in regards to this thread or our transaction, his identity will remain unknown publically. Maybe he will read this, maybe he won't, but I would be astonished if he does read this that he takes any responsibilities for his actions. He has been inactive on this site for more than a month.

After an ebay CSR viewed the messages that were exchanged, almost all of the feedback was removed and I was encouraged to "report" the guy. So I did, maybe it will help someone else down the road. Unfortunately, these days when dealing with someone who I feel may cause a concern down the road, the messages I send are clear and concise and offer little ambiguity so that any third party that may later view the messages will have little doubt as to where the problem lies.

Jim is correct, he likely will have his own perception of the situation. I tend to look at things from a rational point of view where it appears based on his behavior he takes more of an emotional point of view of things, so there would no doubt be two different viewpoints of this situation. I clearly did not meet his expectations as irrational as they may have been to me. He is probably upset too because he received only one of the two promotions I offer. He did not receive the second promo because he failed to follow the directions about how to check out with the promo's qualified items . Beforehand, I sent him a link to the qualified items and at the top of each qualified item's listing are directions on how to checkout and receive the stated discount. At some point, if a buyer makes a mistake on their end when checking out, they need to accept responsibility for their error. Even though he made the mistake checking out (and accepted no responsibility for it), I was aware of his intent and offered some compensation for his error, which he refused. Apparently the offer was not enough.



Collecting/selling/trading sports cards is supposed to be an exciting time for those who participate in the hobby. As a collector first, I look forward to this hobby as a break from reality and I try to treat others the way I would like to be treated. I have made countless friends through this hobby which adds even more to the enjoyment.

Trying to extort a discount from a seller, not taking responsibility for my own mistakes are not how I treat others and certainly do not expect to be treated this way by others. After many years, and many transactions, I have dealt with very, very few people who have exhibited this type of behavior. The few people who behave this way take away from other's enjoyment of this hobby. I certainly would not have been involved in this hobby for 40 years if I had to deal with this type of behavior on any sort of regular basis.


For now, since no one mentioned contacting him, I will leave the situation as is and move on. Back to enjoying the hobby.

[Michael B]

Originally Posted by savedfrommyspokes

Thank you all for your responses, I appreciate them. My intent was not to "out" this member, but to make sure I was not "falling out of the loop" after dealing with him and to see if it might be worthwhile to reach out to him via this site in a private message. I am not going to drop to his level and attempt to extort any resolution on my end by threatening to reveal him and post screen grabs of the messages exchanged. Unless he posts something in regards to this thread or our transaction, his identity will remain unknown publically. Maybe he will read this, maybe he won't, but I would be astonished if he does read this that he takes any responsibilities for his actions. He has been inactive on this site for more than a month.

After an ebay CSR viewed the messages that were exchanged, almost all of the feedback was removed and I was encouraged to "report" the guy. So I did, maybe it will help someone else down the road. Unfortunately, these days when dealing with someone who I feel may cause a concern down the road, the messages I send are clear and concise and offer little ambiguity so that any third party that may later view the messages will have little doubt as to where the problem lies.

Jim is correct, he likely will have his own perception of the situation. I tend to look at things from a rational point of view where it appears based on his behavior he takes more of an emotional point of view of things, so there would no doubt be two different viewpoints of this situation. I clearly did not meet his expectations as irrational as they may have been to me. He is probably upset too because he received only one of the two promotions I offer. He did not receive the second promo because he failed to follow the directions about how to check out with the promo's qualified items . Beforehand, I sent him a link to the qualified items and at the top of each qualified item's listing are directions on how to checkout and receive the stated discount. At some point, if a buyer makes a mistake on their end when checking out, they need to accept responsibility for their error. Even though he made the mistake checking out (and accepted no responsibility for it), I was aware of his intent and offered some compensation for his error, which he refused. Apparently the offer was not enough.



Collecting/selling/trading sports cards is supposed to be an exciting time for those who participate in the hobby. As a collector first, I look forward to this hobby as a break from reality and I try to treat others the way I would like to be treated. I have made countless friends through this hobby which adds even more to the enjoyment.

Trying to extort a discount from a seller, not taking responsibility for my own mistakes are not how I treat others and certainly do not expect to be treated this way by others. After many years, and many transactions, I have dealt with very, very few people who have exhibited this type of behavior. The few people who behave this way take away from other's enjoyment of this hobby. I certainly would not have been involved in this hobby for 40 years if I had to deal with this type of behavior on any sort of regular basis.


For now, since no one mentioned contacting him, I will leave the situation as is and move on. Back to enjoying the hobby.

Good on you. You took the high road and that is commendable. 'Outing' the person on this site serves no purpose and is not germane to the conversation. Whether is was Joe Schmo from Boise or Leon Luckey the scenario played out as it did. It is too easy for people to develop an impression about a person based on the comments of others rather than using their own intuition, intellect and interaction. It is great to see someone who does not feel the need to play that game.

[D. Bergin]

Sounds like an out of control Yelper. Expects to get free food at a restaurant because they write reviews on social media.

Also sounds like somebody I (and maybe others) might want to block on Ebay if you wanted to share the ID through private message.

[vintagetoppsguy]

Originally Posted by D. Bergin

Also sounds like somebody I (and maybe others) might want to block on Ebay if you wanted to share the ID through private message.

This. But I say instead of PM, the OP should post it publically.

To the OP, why not possibly save some other board member the same trouble that you had to go through? This board member didn't mind dragging your name through the mud with his negative feedback for all other eBay buyers to see. It could have had an impact on your sales. So what if you got "almost all" of it removed? You don't want to out him? He certainly didn't mind outing you on eBay - a much bigger platform than this message board. I, too, would like to block this guy. If he wants to tell his side of the story, he can come on here and do so but, from what you've said (and I certainly believe you), I would like the opportunity to block him for now.

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Well we would like to know who this is but if this goes down like every other thread of its type, you aren't going to say.

Yup, they all end the same way.

[1952boyntoncollector]

If not willing to out the person and just complain, i have to take what you said with a grain of salt. If you dropped a name then that person would likely defend himself.

So you just get to tell your side, which could very much be true, but you will never know if you are completely right or mostly right in the face of the collection community if the other side does not present their side if they disagree with you. What you define as easily understood discounts on your website/ebay for example may not be what he says. Plus perhaps there were passive aggressive threats going on both ways. Not saying its so but just saying..

[frankbmd]

Anomynity could be compromised on both sides of this dispute according to forum rules in bold print a the top of every page.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by 1952boyntoncollector

If not willing to out the person and just complain, i have to take what you said with a grain of salt. If you dropped a name then that person would likely defend himself.

So you just get to tell your side, which could very much be true, but you will never know if you are completely right or mostly right in the face of the collection community if the other side does not present their side if they disagree with you. What you define as easily understood discounts on your website/ebay for example may not be what he says. Plus perhaps there were passive aggressive threats going on both ways. Not saying its so but just saying..

The other person could defend himself regardless whether he was named, if he wanted to do so. Naming him would almost force him to provide his side to it; otherwise his silence would speak volumes.