Spousal Support

[gorrister]

Does your spouse (I'm sure I could say wife for 99% of the board) support, put up with, dislikes, detests or doesn't even realize your collection exists? My wife doesn't realize that I'm even collecting cards. I sold the vast majority of my collection some years ago. It was a HUGE collection taking up a tremendous amount of space (and money). I had almost every regular issue Topps card from 1963-1980. But now, my collection is very small. It consists of just under 500 cards in 2 binders. Fits nicely into the a desk drawer. Out of her sight, out of her mind...

[4815162342]

I believe that keeping secrets is disastrous for a marriage. My wife doesn't understand it, but she tolerates it and keeps me from going overboard with it.

[phikappapsi]

I'm blissfully single (only 28 and not in a hurry) I figure I'll have to cut back my collecting significantly once I settle down, so I'm doing most of my collecting now.

[t206wagner]

My wife knows about my collection and I show her every card I buy or trade for when it arrives. She encourages me to buy cards whenever I see something that I need for my collection. I was going to sell some cards about a year ago to fund a project and she wouldn't let me do it. She said we would get the money from somewhere else.

[T206Collector]

My wife is amazing about my collection. She was there when I bought my first two T206 cards in 1997, which I still have:






And on our wedding day -- between the ceremony and the reception -- she gave me this "Groom" card:



She also is credited with encouraging me to expand my "boring" unsigned T206 collection to cover autographed T206s, when a pair of signed Marquards showed up on ebay nearly 10 years ago:





Of course, her support is not without its limits. For example, if we don't save enough money to send our kids to college, I will need to sell. Talk about an incentive to invest wisely in a college fund!

[bn2cardz]

I have posted before about this, but my wife is very supportive.

We are considered low income by the government standards, but I know how to make the money stretch by staying out of debt (no credit cards or car loans) and having a few savings accounts. Yet every once in a while if we need money I sell a card instead of stocks. I did that after the birth of our second child in December. I sold an Old Judge King Kelly card that I really enjoyed and had gotten a good deal on with another Old Judge card thrown in. I recently did our taxes and after telling my wife what the refund was, the first thing she said was "Hey you could try and buy your Kelly card back".

I didn't even try and won't, but the fact that she thought of that before anything else just shows her support.

She always tries to learn more about the cards as well. She has gave me wall space for displaying. Also she has suggested we get a larger place so I can have an entire baseball display room.

She is a collector at heart though as well. She collects batman items (so do I, but her collection was larger than mine prior to the marriage).

We just got the shocker of our life yesterday finding out that she is pregnant again. That will make the two youngest 13months apart. That will also make the Oldest and the Youngest 28months apart. So I may be selling off most of my collection... since we seem to be collecting children. haha. The funny thing is, I would have to convince my wife that selling is the best thing to do, not the other way around.

[zljones]

Originally Posted by gorrister

Does your spouse (I'm sure I could say wife for 99% of the board) support, put up with, dislikes, detests or doesn't even realize your collection exists? My wife doesn't realize that I'm even collecting cards. I sold the vast majority of my collection some years ago. It was a HUGE collection taking up a tremendous amount of space (and money). I had almost every regular issue Topps card from 1963-1980. But now, my collection is very small. It consists of just under 500 cards in 2 binders. Fits nicely into the a desk drawer. Out of her sight, out of her mind...

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

[Wymers Auction]

Originally Posted by zljones

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

You may need to seek professional help. LOL

[dabigyankeeman]

My wife understands that collecting cards is my big passion. However, we are moving from a house into a condo, and no more display room thats all collectibles. Now i had to get rid of 90% of my display items, and the very few items left will be in the office.

She has no problem with a few pieces scattered around, but really has no problem with albums sitting in a bookcase, so my cards are not a problem.

Now then, she does have a problem with the amount of money spent on cards!! Thank God she has no idea what cards are worth, i used to tell her what i spent, now the cards come in and i stay quiet or just say, "more cheap cards came in today". Or i try to sneak the "yellow envelopes" as she calls them, into the house. The worst is when the postman has to knock on the door to get a signature, then she knows its something expensive!!

I will give her credit though, on every birthday or other occassion, we work out a deal whereby i pick out a card i want and buy it and then she pays for it and thats my gift from her, and sometimes its an expensive card that goes for a few occassions.

Overall, she is rational, and while i wish she was a collector too, how many of us can have a collector wife???

[rainier2004]

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

[tbob]

I won't mention his name but a former card shop owner in the earlier years had an incredible collection of prewar cards in his private collection. His second wife kept threatening to put a garden hose through the window in the basement and flood them all whenever she got mad. He finally took her seriously and sold all his of his prewar stuff for well over a million dollars. He then sold his card shop and the last time I talked to him he no longer collects cards at all, just vintage jazz records. I don't have the heart to ask him if he is still married to wife #2.......

[zljones]

Originally Posted by rainier2004

I think its nice how many supportive spouses we have. I had the impression from threads it would not be this way on the board. I agree that couples should have things they do seperately and together. One way or another my wife is told about all "big" purchases, thats just how we roll.

Zach - All I can say is you have shown a lot of passion about your collection and your fellow collectors since you've joined the board and I think others here would agree...I would hate to think anyone could dampen that. I always enjoy reading your posts, especially the brutally honest ones...either way, keep your passion!

Honestly after reading the posts yesterday I decided to completely fess up to her, she was not happy but I said it's my money. She may now learn to accept my collecting. We ended on a good note for the evening, now I will begin exposing her to this stuff deeper and I will take Leon's advice and say it's for an investment. But years from now I will tell her I changed my mind and I will keep them.

[frankbmd]

.....

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by gorrister

Does your spouse (I'm sure I could say wife for 99% of the board) support, put up with, dislikes, detests or doesn't even realize your collection exists? My wife doesn't realize that I'm even collecting cards. I sold the vast majority of my collection some years ago. It was a HUGE collection taking up a tremendous amount of space (and money). I had almost every regular issue Topps card from 1963-1980. But now, my collection is very small. It consists of just under 500 cards in 2 binders. Fits nicely into the a desk drawer. Out of her sight, out of her mind...

Now we know the real reason you crack slabs. You sneaky devil.

My wife is tolerant, if not appreciative.

[Ladder7]

She say's, "Just sell all that junk and take me to Hawaii". I take her to the Kowloon Polynesian Restaurant, they have a volcano!, order a couple of scorpion bowls and that holds her for a while. Incidentally, I'm too frightened to tell her to sell her jewelry.

[esd10]

my wife understands my collecting that one day she will talk me into selling my e90's,t206 amd my beloved turkey red cards which i have very few of and take her on a vaction but dont tell her but it wont happen lol

[gnaz01]

Originally Posted by Ladder7

She say's, "Just sell all that junk and take me to Hawaii". I take her to the Kowloon Polynesian Restaurant, they have a volcano!, order a couple of scorpion bowls and that holds her for a while. Incidentally, I'm too frightened to tell her to sell her jewelry.

Steve,

I've been to Kowloon MANY a time and had WAAAAAY too many Scorpion Bowls there as well, my friend!!

[jp1216]

Only once has the 'maybe you could sell something to pay for this' comment come up. My wife knows what this stuff means to me. She is often jealous about the value, however. The fact that I can put stuff on eBay or B/S/T and have cash within minutes drives her crazy. She respects the value and the enjoyment that it brings me.

[tcdyess]

My wife is all too familiar with my sickness yet 15 years in she is still here.... I'm a lucky man....

[bh3443]

Originally Posted by Ladder7

She say's, "Just sell all that junk and take me to Hawaii". I take her to the Kowloon Polynesian Restaurant, they have a volcano!, order a couple of scorpion bowls and that holds her for a while. Incidentally, I'm too frightened to tell her to sell her jewelry.

Hi Steve!
We love the Kowloon, too! Everytime we go there we see fellow card collectors. I remember the days when Phil Castinetti would take his autograph signers there.
When I'm feelin OK, we go to visit our daughter and her family and try to stop in at Sportsworld on the way up and the Kowloon on the way back.

As for my collection and my wife, they get along fine! The one thing my wife can't understand is why I prefer to watch game 4 of the 1968 World Series instead of the current Red Sox game that's on now!

[bunst]

Generally she tolerates my collecting because it makes me happy, but has made subtle comments that are not exactly supportive. The last time she felt the need to question my spending, I said something to the effect that at least my cards will hold or gain value, unlike your closet full of clothes hardly even worn and basically worthless. She hasn't said much about me collecting since.

Interesting thread. My ex-wife did not like my baseball card habit. I can still hear her nagging, "Why do you spend money on this s@#* (stuff)". Currently single, and happier with the cards than the ex.

Now, I don't care. My collection is in my daughters name. She loves them. Only seven years old and she can name the Black Sox by position, and make a good argument for Omar Vizquels' inclusion in the HOF. Huge Mariners fan.

[dog*dirt]

My wife is very supportive of my obsession with cards. She has told me many times that there are a lot worse things that I could be doing with both my time any money. I am very grateful to have her support.

[Exhibitman]

Her attitude right now is basically as long as it doesn't imperil the family finances, have fun. She also knows that I am a sufficiently astute card buyer that I won't buy anything that is going to turn to s**t [unless everything else does]--when my business had a hiccup in 2009 I was able to sell cards to bridge the gap. And as I am often fond of reminding her when things get a bit testy about my cost of collecting, I don't play golf, I drive an old paid-for car, and I don't have season seats to sports teams [though in truth I gave up my Dodgers seats because I was P.O.'d about the steriods scandal more than anything else], so all the money that would be consumed on those things is instead sunk into something I can both enjoy and get money back from. It also helps that between forcing me back into the stock market in December 2007 and refusing to sell the house that prior summer, she cost us about $700,000. That buys me a lot a of slack with my card collecting.

[thekingofclout]

Originally Posted by bunst

Generally she tolerates my collecting because it makes me happy, but has made subtle comments that are not exactly supportive. The last time she felt the need to question my spending, I said something to the effect that at least my cards will hold or gain value, unlike your closet full of clothes hardly even worn and basically worthless. She hasn't said much about me collecting since.

Atta boy Brian!

[ls7plus]

Originally Posted by bunst

Generally she tolerates my collecting because it makes me happy, but has made subtle comments that are not exactly supportive. The last time she felt the need to question my spending, I said something to the effect that at least my cards will hold or gain value, unlike your closet full of clothes hardly even worn and basically worthless. She hasn't said much about me collecting since.

Gutsy, Brian, very gutsy, albeit quite true. My wife frequently tells me she wishes I'd never met a fellow attorney who I worked with over 20 years ago, who used to bring his cards into the office and stimulated my collecting gene. I tell her it wouldn't have mattered, since I've been into baseball since I was a kid, playing in summer leagues, high school, and the fast-pitch, over 30 hardball league when I was in my early to mid-40's. I also used to play Stratomatic baseball with buddies for endless hour after hour, and even designed some table-top games based on probability with dice with a different format on my own. One way or another, I was going to "capture" the game. If I hadn't met that attorney at that time, something else was destined to draw me into the hobby.

Sometimes she's a little more tolerant, however, usually with the earlier stuff, since she likes antique furniture herself. One example would be the 1910 PC796 Walter Johnson I acquired in the 2011 REA auction. I no longer make the mistake of telling her what more recent items are worth, however, since I know the response: "Sell it!"

Good thread,

Larry

[margoaepi]

My wife is understanding and dangerously encouraging. Went to my first live auction (Heritage) while visiting her in Dallas when she was down there for work for 3 months. The auction was a block from her house, so we went. Not only did I walk out of there with the item I wanted, but she coaxed me into bidding on and buying a lot that was 4x the cost of the first lot. I'm very lucky.

[tbob]

Originally Posted by frankbmd

Now we know the real reason you crack slabs. You sneaky devil.

My wife is tolerant, if not appreciative.

+1

[dstraate]

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

[Tim Fritz]

My wife is awesome when it comes to my collection. She teases me about it, but for Christmas this year I got a '33 Gehrig in PSA 2 from her. Need I say more.

I show her cards from time to time and she at the very least displays some level of interest. It has helped that over the years I've turned purchases of $100-$300 into thousands of dollars.

[mcap100176]

This was my wife's wedding gift to me (married November 2011). She won it in Baggers and said it was such a great rush to bid on things she could see why I liked it. She went above and beyond as she went in my phone, called a fellow collector & Board member and asked what I would be interested in; I knew nothing about it.

[Wymers Auction]

Originally Posted by dstraate

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

That is hilarious!!!

[ls7plus]

Originally Posted by dstraate

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

David, the solution to that problem is really simple: Have the cards you buy shipped to the office or workplace, and the checks from cards you sell mailed to the home!

Larry

[aquarius31]

Amusing thread. My wife knows that I'm a collector and while she often calls me a dork I think she can appreciate many of the items that I've collected over the past several years. She loves art so I try to push the artistic angle of my collection....I think it works most of the time. She has no idea how much I've spent on my collection but she has never asked.

She does however have a tendency to embarrass the hell out of me if we go into an antique shop. I usually play off my desire to find some cool baseball item when I go right into the store but she's quick to mimic my voice and act like she's going to ask one of the workers if they have any baseball items.

[atx840]

My wife finds it a weird item to collect since I am not a big sports guy but enjoys seeing each new pose/player and encourages me to hunt for cards I really want. Plus one card paid for a family trip to Hawaii, that helped

[sycks22]

I show my wife every card that comes in and sometimes she'll laugh like when she sees my '38 Goudey heads-up cards that come in. She wanted a Teddy Ballgame card once and I found her one when he was with the millers and she framed it.

[bbcard1]

My wife is very supportive. We have made great friends through collecting. I take my son to shows. OTOH, I am a pretty decent husband and it is probably my biggest vice.

[Phillies*phan]

Funny story. It was about 2004 and I had been collecting for just a few years. I hadn't spent more than a few hundred on any cards yet and I found a nice Smith Chi & Boston on Ebay. I was working 3rd shift at the time and was sleeping when it ended but had but in my max bid beforehand(before the snipping days). When I woke, she was on the computer with an angry look on her face. "Do you know you spent $356 on a t206". My reply "awesome". The card went for my max bid.
I sent the card to PSA and it returned as a 6. At the time it was the highest graded with only 2 other 6's. I kept it a few years, then sold it for close to $2K.
I haven't heard much about buying cards since then

My ex wife hated my collecting. That was till I started buying and selling big collections I was getting. Then when the money rolled in it was ok. Started on prewar and keeping for myself and that was the end of that support. I have been forced to sell some things I seriously regret.

Fast forward to today. My GF don't really care but when I get a card I show her and she ask questions and is excited for me. Even wants to attend nationals with me but work conflicts this yr. She is awesome and supports me in my addiction. Even calls me when she finds cards and pics at shops or people she knows. Can't ask for better

[ullmandds]

Chris...agreed!

[Tao_Moko]

I work 16 hours a day so my wife can stay at home with our son so she doesn't mind that I have a hobby. Gives me something to do between sending quotes and working on contracts which is a healthy break from work. Overall, I have a supportive wife.

[steve B]

My wife is very supportive of all my hobbies, and knows a fair bit about each one. (Big fun watching her deal with a flea market card dealer who wasn't really up on things- "It's rare, and in great shape for it's age" "Uh, it's got creases and a tear, and it's a common, nicer ones are all over Ebay at about 1/3 of what you want for it" ) .
It's great to have someone to discuss potential purchases with, she's got a bit different perspective about some stuff. And it really helps since I'm not broke, but do have to choose what I buy. An expensive card might mean buying nothing for the rest of the month.

And the responses range from "I don't think it's a good deal/the right time" to "How does it fit the collection" to "hey that's really nice, just buy it"
The last of those was about a bike part I liked but wasn't sure if I wanted to spend as much as I did.

It helps that I'm interested and somewhat knowledgeable about her hobbies. She had the same fun watching me discuss the relative merits of some bit of quilting gear over a different one as I had with the flea market card guy.

Steve B

[frankbmd]

With tongue firmly implanted in cheek, how about a new Forum with the above title for spouses to rag about the ridiculous collections of their mates. With this perverse form of group therapy some of our haggard and haggled brothers might actually benefit in the long run. Or if you prefer a less ominous title (not related to the "end game"), it could simply be called Nette54.

Disclaimer: No sexist innuendo implied in this, recognizing the fact that there are several women on the board recently mentioned in another thread.

[4815162342]

16 hours a day? I commend you sir.

[Texxxx]

Eric, You sound like me. I work 70-75 hours a week. So as long as I don't have a hobby that takes me away from the house then everything is good. She doesn't really know what my collection is worth but then again she has never asked. If she did she would just buy me a bigger safe for my birthday so I can get them all in it. Probably not a bad idea though.

[CubsFanCurt]

I had Chicago Cubs stuff all over my apartment walls, then the girlfriend moved in. Now the stuff is actually organized and looks better than it did before! She completely supports me collecting old baseball cards and asks about each new card I add to the collection. On the doubloe plus side, sometimes she swears at the TV during bad calls more than I do! I feel very blessed to have her in my life

[mintacular]

Quick summary: If your collecting leads to making $ from reselling them, your little lady woman is cool with it. If not, they got issues....

[MilBraves]

My wife wasn't on board with my collecting until we went to a Clean Sweep appraisal. She knows what I pay for my cards and memorabilia and when the guy from clean sweep was quoting prices well above what I paid she became a believer. I guess she had to hear it from someone else, to believe I actually have a clue what I'm doing.