Is obnoxious the new normal for newbie collectors?

[Exhibitman]

Seems like many newer collectors' default setting is "jerk". My experience is that the obnoxiousness of the card 'bros' is the rule rather than the exception. Example: I posted a 19th century card for sale with the following notice in big, bold red letters:

NOTE: IN MY OPINION THIS CARD HAS BEEN TRIMMED. BID ACCORDINGLY.

I get this PM:

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Really?

Most of the legends of the hobby were gentlemanly, gracious and kind in their hobby interactions; the obnoxious ones were the outliers, like Goody Goldfadden. If those guys could be gentlemen...I guess that with auctions, eBay, books, blogs and databases, you don't need to interact with other collectors so you never learn the social skills needed to be a gentleman hobbyist.

Anyhow, rant over. Remain calm and keep bidding.

[Leon]

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

[Snapolit1]

Yeah, aggressively rude appears to be a lot of folks default mode these days.

What I have tired of are folks on eBay responding "Hey nice card. I have a few questions. . . ." And then they ask you to confirm 8 different things that might in their opinion possibly not be immediately visible from the 6 scans you posted.

At a certain point just look at the pictures and bid. Or not. I'm not preparing a 10 page report for you on the card and my opinions on various aspects of it. And, by the way, the card is only $99 pally.

[irv]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

“The world is not full of assholes, they are strategically placed so that you come across one every day” ~ Anonymous

[mrreality68]

Originally Posted by irv

“The world is not full of assholes, they are strategically placed so that you come across one every day” ~ Anonymous

Nice very nice but sadly true

But by and large Great People in the forum and in the BST sections.

Many more great experiences than assholes

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

Non-flushable...

[Leon]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Non-flushable...

Did your situation happen on the bst?
.

[Deertick]

When as a society we have regressed on our tolerance for racist and anti-Semitic speech (and action), just being a dick seems quaint.

[Snapolit1]

Originally Posted by Deertick

When as a society we have regressed on our tolerance for racist and anti-Semitic speech (and action), just being a dick seems quaint.

Well put.

If you openly care about other people you are at best weak and probably worse.

[bigfish]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

Unfortunately, these people sit behind their phone screen / computer screen all day and type this crap. In person it could be a very different experience for them.

[todeen]

"The world is full of bastards, the number increasing rapidly, the further one gets from Missoula, MT."

I lived in Montana for 10 years. I can confirm this is true. And they are breeding.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Luke]

These messages really suck to get, but the good news is ebay doesn't penalize you for ignoring them. Or you can choose to reply like an asshole yourself, which I sometimes do, and almost always regret.

[Kawika]

[QUOTE=todeen;2211213]"The world is full of bastards, the number increasing rapidly, the further one gets from Missoula, MT."
/QUOTE]
Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.

[Lobo Aullando]

Some try the Jedi mind trick, with regurgitation optional.

"It has all those problems that you already pointed out. I will give you 50% of what you're asking."

No, you shan't. And it did sell at ask a couple weeks later because I priced it at market.

If they start "Could you do..." that's fine because they're not telling me what to do.

[Casey2296]

Originally Posted by Lobo Aullando

Some try the Jedi mind trick, with regurgitation optional.

"It has all those problems that you already pointed out. I will give you 50% of what you're asking."

No, you shan't. And it did sell at ask a couple weeks later because I priced it at market.

If they start "Could you do..." that's fine because they're not telling me what to do.

"I'd like to offer you X for your card, does that work for you?" That and adding "thanks for your consideration" has always gotten good results for me.

[todeen]

Originally Posted by Kawika

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.

if you know, you know

"I am haunted by waters."

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[babraham]

Originally Posted by todeen

if you know, you know

"I am haunted by waters."

"we can love completely without complete understanding"

[Jim65]

I've seen plenty of rude older collectors as well, some people just choose to do be douchebags.

[babraham]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Sounds about right today.
I own a retail business and this seems to be more common now, especially since everything got flipped upside down with COVID. People yelling at me and my employees for things outside our control and just being jerks in general. The vast majority are good...but definite increase in obnoxious jerks.

[D. Bergin]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Seems like many newer collectors' default setting is "jerk". My experience is that the obnoxiousness of the card 'bros' is the rule rather than the exception. Example: I posted a 19th century card for sale with the following notice in big, bold red letters:

NOTE: IN MY OPINION THIS CARD HAS BEEN TRIMMED. BID ACCORDINGLY.

I get this PM:

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Really?

Anyhow, rant over. Remain calm and keep bidding.

LOL, maybe he thought you were trying to get one over on him by selling him an untrimmed card. He wanted to make damn sure that card was trimmed.


I think I prefer the up front assholes to the compulsively passive liars. At least they don't waste your time. Just had to relist an item today from an unpaid bidder.

A week in after multiple invoices and I'm just about to Cancel, I get a "Sorry, just got your message, been in the hospital, will pay Thursday".

OK cool, I feel like I've heard that one before, but I give them another chance. Let it slide because I'm going away on vacation for a week anyways and I don't really want them paying when I'm gone anyhow. Come back, more invoices sent and........crickets.

Got curious, check out their spotless 3000+ feedback and see they've been very active buying (and somewhat active selling) over the past month. I see a Negative/Positive from another seller sprinkled in for non-payment. Hospital my ass. You over-extended yourself and strung me along hoping I wouldn't file for non-payment.

Couldn't do anything but cancel, block, and stew over a $135 transaction that wasted nearly a month of my headspace.

[conor912]

Some people have no idea how to enter a room other than as a wrecking ball.

[Republicaninmass]

Not just newbies, Plenty of old timers as well!

[BobbyStrawberry]

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

[jingram058]

Originally Posted by BobbyStrawberry

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

I could not agree more.

It seems to be a badge of honor. Deep, bottomless pockets and then flaunt what a great deal, patting themselves and their clique buddies on the back, paying ungodly sums for the latest pick up. Even extolling the virtues of paying insanely more than than they could have paid elsewhere for the same old cardboard trinket. But that's what it means to be in the clique. Yeah, whatever.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by BobbyStrawberry

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

A very tenured forum member once told me he only collects greenbacks. To that I say, best of luck to you!
.

[BobbyStrawberry]

Originally Posted by Leon

A very tenured forum member once told me he only collects greenbacks. To that I say, best of luck to you!
.

This thread needs a card, doesn't it...

[japhi]

Guess it depends on your definition of obnoxious, but I've been in the hobby since I was maybe ten and it has always been full of man-children. From the guy that ripped me off when I was 12, trading me photocopies of worthless prints, to the rude dealers set up at shows, to all the scammers that infect the hobby. The new card bro's may be annoying, but this hobby, at least for 40 years, has always been obnoxious.

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by D. Bergin

He wanted to make damn sure that card was trimmed.

Right? How weird was that? What he's saying is "prove it is trimmed."