NonSports Forum

Net54baseball.com
Welcome to Net54baseball.com. These forums are devoted to both Pre- and Post- war baseball cards and vintage memorabilia, as well as other sports. There is a separate section for Buying, Selling and Trading - the B/S/T area!! If you write anything concerning a person or company your full name needs to be in your post or obtainable from it. . Contact the moderator at leon@net54baseball.com should you have any questions or concerns. Enjoy!
Net54baseball.com
Net54baseball.com
ebay GSB
T206s on Ebay
Babe Ruth Cards
t206 Ty Cobb
Ty Cobb Cards
Lou Gehrig Cards
Baseball T201-T217
Baseball E90-E107
T205 Cards
Vintage Baseball Postcards
Goudey Cards
Vintage Baseball Memorabilia
Baseball Exhibit Cards
Baseball Strip Cards
Baseball Baking Cards
Sporting News Cards
Play Ball Cards
Joe DiMaggio Cards
Mickey Mantle Cards
Bowman 1951-1955
Football Cards

Go Back   Net54baseball.com Forums > Net54baseball Main Forum - WWII & Older Baseball Cards > Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-12-2020, 04:18 AM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default The New Directory of Collectorisms...

Every year the major dictionaries add new words to keep up with the times. You might have heard "Amirite," or "social distancing" or "ish."

Well, I believe the collecting world's dictionary needs a facelift, too. So I present for your perusal, 2020's Collectorisms Part I (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)

If you enjoy puns and wordplay with some pseudo-portmanteaus thrown in as well, then make your way down the page and grab some giggles!!!


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #27 and read it so you will understand that although this thread is rife with biting commentary, it is for entertainment purposes only. Most of us here will recognize all fifty of these collectorisms. In fact, we should see ourselves in quite a few of them!!


And away we go...


1. Atlantic Pity
The feeling of angst associated with people living west of the Mississippi who know The National is never going to be held anywhere near their hometown.

See also: Califortunate - the excitement felt by people on the West Coast who know flying to an East Coast show means they will finally be able to escape their families for a precious few days.

See also: Hobroken - hating that The National is once again being held in Atlantic City, NJ.

2. Repicturate (also Déjà View)
When somebody posts a card in the official monthly “Pick-ups” thread, but also seeks out and finds a secondary thread to post the exact same pic (and write up) in to garner additional attention and fuel their self-gratification.

3. Frumpster Diving
The love and appreciation of lower grade, ‘unattractive’ cards.

See also: Velocicraptor or Caardvark - a person who happily hunts for those types of cards.

4. Grandpoppycock
When an eBay seller uses statements such as “Attic Find!!!” or “My Grandfather’s Cards!!!” to lend credence to their attempt to hornswoggle potential buyers.

5. Donfrusstration
The disappointment you feel after posting an expensive, high grade vintage HOFer for trade, and a member tries to talk you into swapping it for a stack of 1980’s commons.

See also: Farcissist - a person so laughably full of himself that he actually believes he can ‘cleverly’ talk someone into trading a great card of theirs away for merely nothing.

6. Slabnetiquette
Disclosing relatively minor things, such as that there are scratches on the case, or maybe a card should’ve actually received a lower grade than it has and other honest acknowledgements.

See also: Slabnotiquette - stating how something in a scan that looks like a crease, bend, or an artifact, is on the holder itself and not on the card.

7. Impostonator
When someone basically writes the ‘CliffsNotes’ version of the exact same thing you already wrote in the thread about 10 posts earlier.

See also: Cardsternation - the feeling you get when the above happens and people have the nerve to pat him (not you!) on the back and say, “Well said!”

8. Poptical Illusion (also Lemongrade)
When someone is offering a card for sale, but completely and utterly overstates what grade they think it would receive if it was ever sent in to a TPG...when it so obviously doesn’t stand a chance of getting anywhere near that number.

9. Tangenda
The purposeful derailment of a thread in order to steer it in the direction you personally want it to go.

10. Buyromania
When a member shows a bunch of really expensive cards he’s recently purchased, and you can’t help but wonder, “Where the heck does this guy get the money to purchase these extravagant things??!!”

11. Waxative
An old, supposedly unopened pack you spent a crapload of money on (see what I did there?) that shoots out nothing but off-centered commons and was undoubtedly fraudulently repackaged and resealed.

See also: Christmiss - spending way too much on (and falling for) one of those special ‘Holiday’ rack packs that pop up on eBay with ultimately nothing but commons in it.

See also: Gumstruck - the complete ‘surprise’ you feel while viewing a YouTube ‘pack break’ video and the person doing the opening once again utters a lame joke about putting the stale, ancient stick of gum in his mouth.

See also: Bamgloozled - discovering that one of your 'unopened' wax packs was rewrapped or resealed before you owned it.

12. Preambling Man
Someone feeling the need to state something at the start of a new thread to the effect of, “Leon, if this is in the wrong section, please feel free to move it,” or “If this topic has already been covered before, I apologize.”

13. Toppspedoed
Enthusiastically posting what is just a phenomenal card for you...but the next person adding their new ‘pick-up’ to the thread just completely blows yours out of the water.

See also: Prewarpedoed - same as above, but with extremely old cards.

See also: Hypnopic - a scan of a card that makes you so jealous you can’t stop staring at it.

14. Cardtagonist
A person starting a thread to ask for opinions on some aspect of a card he owns, and then reacting angrily to anyone whose opinion differs from his own or doesn’t tell him what he wants to hear.

See also: Trimwit - a person who refuses to believe that his short, undoubtedly altered card has spent time with an X-Acto knife.

15. Shambellisher (also Hyperbumpic)
Someone who declares enthusiastically that the card he’s offering for sale is definitely a candidate for a regrade (presumably to a higher, more valuable number).

16. Koquak (also Fauxtographer or Failface)
After someone starts a “Does anyone know who this player is??” thread, this person’s guess isn’t anywhere even remotely close to having a resemblance to the person being asked about, as if he just picked a random name out of the Baseball Almanac and posted it.

See also: Clueless Joe - a person who’s convinced any player pictured in an old B/W photograph is Joe Jackson.

17. Exhauction
The state of seeing yet another person asking which auction house they should work with to sell their collection.

18. Hearing Graid
When feeling uncertain about the price you paid for a card in a slab, you seek satisfaction, support, and compliments by asking if the card/grade you purchased was a good deal.

19. Newbummer
When someone starts a jovial, well thought out ‘new member introduction’ thread and ends up receiving scant few “Welcome aboard!” replies.

See also: Lurkie-loo - a person who notes in their introduction how long they’ve been a lurker before joining the site.

20. Boardswarmer
A person who is so self-absorbed that they feel they MUST (often immediately) post in every single thread imaginable, regardless of whether or not they have anything pertinent to add to the topic.

See also: Post-it Dope - a person who clearly chimes in for no other reason than to up his post count number.

21. Flipwreck
When someone posts a picture of a graded card that the TPG wrongly slabbed as an original and not the reprint it truly is.

See also: Mis-slabelled - having a technical error on the flip that needs to be corrected.

22. Copy-triter
Someone who, instead of speaking like a normal human being, constantly throws out overused, stale or ‘expected’ phrases such as “Thanks for sharing,” “Buy the card, not the slab,” “Collect whatever makes you happy,” etc.

See also: Iconoghast - a person who can’t seem to post something without using the word “iconic.”

23. Mycophant (also Twenty Four/#7)
A person who only cares about cards, memorabilia or topics associated with their reverence for and obsession with Mickey Mantle.

See also: Micrepresentation - the refusal to acknowledge the fact you only want Mantle cards because of their huge resale value and potential return on investment (ROI).

See also: Inmantleize - once again condescendingly referring to basic Mickey Mantle card facts that we’ve heard a million times before, i.e., “The 1952 Topps is not his rookie card,” or “The 1965 Topps World Series Game 3 ‘Mantle's Clutch HR’ card actually shows him missing the pitch...and it wrongly shows Bob Gibson pitching in that game!!!”

24. Pandoragami
A troublesome form of art where the goal is to figure out how to effectively ‘straighten’ bent corners and flatten out wrinkles and creases in cardboard.

25. The War of the Discloses
The eternal, ongoing debate of whether or not the price of a card sold in the B/S/T section should be kept in the thread for posterity’s sake, or removed by the seller.

26. Discomslabulation
When a person posts the specific reasons why he prefers one TPG over another, and then someone else gives their specific reasons why they DON’T prefer that selfsame TPG.

See also: Sponsorflip - asking for opinions on what’s the best third party grader to go with.

27. Obliviot
Someone who reacts angrily to a post that was obviously, unmistakably intended to be facetious, playful, or sarcastic. Apparently, he is unable to tell something is supposed to be humorous unless a suitable emoji tells him it is.

28. Warpal Tunnel Syndrome
The condition that leads a person - NO MATTER WHAT THE SUBJECT BEING DEBATED IS - to make every agument based on their obsession with the theoretical stat of WAR and/or other advanced sabermetric statistics.

See also: Troubawar - a person who sings the praises of these stats while arguing about modern day players whose entire careers we all witnessed first hand!!

See also: Whipshit - someone who claims the theoretical stat of WAR isn’t actually a theoretical stat.

29. Masquergrade (also Serengrade)
When a person asks if they should send a high-grade card in for a regrade, in the hopes it might receive an even higher grade...and you get the feeling it’s just a ploy to hear everyone sing the praises of the card in its current holder.

30. Dean-noser (also Dreckonomist)
A person who, in the face of all common sense, always feels compelled to praise the well-known and heavily discussed eBay rip-off artists who laughably try to sell their cards for ten times as much as everyone else.

31. Greed-to-Know Basis
When a ‘for sale’ thread doesn’t list any prices or include any scans of the available cards, and you’re supposed to e-mail the seller for the information. You know full well that everything is going to be waaaay overpriced.

32. Baddition
When a person makes a point of specifically expressing how surprised he is that his thread has gotten so many views without any answers, information or offers given (if something is for sale), while just ignoring the fact most people regularly ‘look’ at threads simply to mark them as read and clear the board.

33. Prethumbtion
Basing initial opinions and/or summing up a member based solely on the thumbnail-sized picture he chose as his avatar.

See also: Film-Flam - on the rare occasions that you see actual photographs of other members, the shock and surprise of realizing they look nothing like you thought they would.

34. Redempathy
Feeling extremely bad for a member who has spelled out how someone stole his card or otherwise ripped him off, while also hoping very strongly that the thief gets his ass handed to him.

See also: Karmaget’im (informal)

35. Countdrown
Trying to work through all the math (and the seller’s specific verbiage) to determine the exact hour, minute and second an auction in the “Live Auctions” section actually ends in your time zone.

36. Tsu-name-i
Asking whether or not an autograph is legitimate and getting no responses until someone finally chimes in with their opinion...and then everyone quickly jumps on board to agree with that particular poster.

37. Overly Prebumptuous
The hope that bumping your thread will somehow revitalize it and get it going again.

See also: Affabumpity - specifically using the term “Friendly bump.”

38. Purvnayor
A member who starts a thread to specifically call out the shenanigans of an eBay user name.

See also: Peddlemeddle - to wonder whether a member’s attempt to identify an eBay user is for a good reason or a bad reason.

39. Baldersplash
The comments of someone who believes ‘soaking’ is nothing short of card doctoring.

40. Satisflacktion
The delight in seeing a member you are none too fond of taking heat and criticism in a thread.

41. Bitchhiker
Someone who climbs aboard a thread only to complain and/or moan about it, instead of simply passing it by and moving on to something else.

See also: Ejector Feat - a post that tells him to get lost.

42. Disrecarded
Asking for a thread to be deleted, but it remains there untouched forevermore.

43. Black Swamp and Circumstance
The joy felt by obtaining a card that has its association with a noted collector or historical find stated right on the label.

44. Inqualerance
The refusal to deal with any graded cards that have letter combinations such as “OC,” “ST” or “PD” on the labels.

45. Statutory Hype
When a seller brags (truthfully) that his card has “POP of Only 2!!!”...but neglects to state that it’s only because the card is low grade. Every grade higher than that one actually has hundreds of cards in the population report.

46. Cornographic
When a seller overly stresses how sharp the corners are...when anyone can see they are actually as sharp as a butter knife.

47. Verminally Ill
Being sick to death that the most pathetic card doctor parasites the world has ever seen are still allowed to flourish and freely prosper on eBay.

48. Salivulturating
When a newbie shows up to innocently look for advice about a collection of cards that somehow landed on his lap, and you know his in-box is becoming a feeding frenzy of activity as members PM him in an attempt to ‘free’ him of this new cardboard burden.

See also: Pillage Idiot (slang) - a person engaged in the above activity.

See also: Descendon’t - a person who has inherited a baseball card collection, but does not know anything about the hobby.

49. Cryptochecklister
A person engaged in trying to decipher what set a curiously ‘new’ and never-seen-before card is from.

See also: Sternscholar - a person trying to piece together what an old set’s printing sheets looked like by unlocking the secrets found on the backs of the cards.

50. Pictitious (also Facarde)
When Photoshop was used to greatly improve the outward appearance of a baseball card for sale.



If people dig this thread, then I will quickly jump into getting Part II ready.




Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the board...I present to you 2020's Collectorisms Part II (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** I can't say this strongly enough. This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!

The story, all names, characters, and/or incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, and none should be inferred.


I encourage anyone stopping by to first scroll down and read #119, to know what the heck you're in for.



And we're off to the races...


51. Smiled Goose Chase
When a seller excitedly sees there’s a new post in his ‘for sale’ thread, but instead of being a buy offer, it’s only someone cheerfully saying, “Nice card. Good luck with the sale.”

52. Acute Bartisyndrome
The compulsion to amass a huge stockpile of the exact same card (and therefore corner the market on it).

See also: Finish Whine - being unable to complete your set due to the actions of someone suffering from the above.

53. Ebaysion
Hiding your auction purchases from your wife, girlfriend or significant other.

54. Shark Infested Borders (slang)
A card that is missing small pieces of the corners and/or sides.

55. Matrisnide
A bitter, rueful post talking about how pissed you were that your mother threw out your baseball cards.

See also: Motherwise - any statement that ruefully begins with “If only my mom hadn’t thrown at my cards...”

See also: Patripride - posting something that includes warm memories of your father’s influence on your card collecting.

56. Poppy Love
Ignoring what a card looks like and buying it only for the number on the slab.

See also: Numberjack - a person suffering from the above.

57. Fail Mary
Throwing up a huge, last minute snipe bid and still not winning the auction.

58. Digitor
Someone who quickly stops into a thread to add “+1” to it.

See also: Addnumeralator - inserting a non-standard word or number after the plus sign (i.e., “+1000” or “+ Infinity”)

59. Small Photatoes
Players who are so easily forgotten about that they appear on rookie cards in multiple years.

See also: Knucklestaller - the person at Topps who decided Gaylord Perry should appear on a multi-player rookie card the year after he had his own ‘regular’ card.

60. Met Dream
The desire to own a Tom Seaver rookie card.

61. “Remember the Paypalamo!”
The war cry of people who have been screwed over by using (or letting buyers use) PayPal Friends & Family instead of Goods & Services.

See also: Threepercenters - those who insist that potential buyers include the additional funds required to cover PayPal fees.

62. Behuddled (also Whoknows Tackle)
Looking through a stack of old football cards, and besides obvious names like Franco Harris or Joe Namath, having no clue whatsoever if any of these guys (playing all sorts of bizarre positions) are Hall of Famers.

63. Barnacling - ignoring the real ‘value’ of a card you have available for sale and sticking firmly, come hell or high water, to your bottom sell price, because it’s the amount you originally (over)paid for it.

See also: Bookscorner - a vendor who quotes high book value prices on every one of his cards, no matter what condition they’re actually in.

64. Mine! Field
Checking a post with cards for sale and seeing that many of them were already quickly scooped up, as they have “SOLD” typed next to them.

65. Schwinnterloper
The baseball card a kid sticks in his bicycle spokes.

See also: Spokelore - the dubious claim that you remember sticking a 1952 Mickey Mantle or Jackie Robinson card in your spokes as a kid.

See also: Schwinntennial - a person who reached young adulthood at the time it was popular to put baseball cards in bicycle spokes.

66. Two-Face Value
The love of severely miscut cards that include big pieces of other cards on them.

See also: Phantomweight - the additional value a tobacco card garners by having a ghosted image on it.

See also: Polterheist - getting a great deal on one of these cards.

67. Picrimony
When you see a certain member’s avatar in a thread and immediately wonder, “What’s this guy complaining about THIS time?!!”

See also: Skipnore - instead of placing a member on your ‘ignore’ list, you decide to simply scroll right by his posts every time you see his screenname.

68. Peter Pantheon
The group of cards that live on in your heart as a wonderful memory, because you’ve kept them and loved them ever since you were a kid.

See also: Peter Panacea - knowing that no matter how much life gets you down, you can always find a cure for what ails you by opening up one of your old binders and quickly returning to the joy you felt as a kid collecting baseball cards.

69. Cornivore
A collector who puts the condition of corners above all other factors.

70. Mistookalike
A photo or illustration of a player on a card that isn’t actually the player whose name appears on the card.

71. Counterintelli-gents
Guys who purposefully post misleading information in an attempt to curtail other people’s interest (and eliminate potential rival bidders) in a card they want to win off eBay.

72. Dreadshot
A Topps card featuring basically nothing but the noggin of the ballplayer.

See also: Nomad Hatter - a card showing a player on his ‘new’ team, sporting a badly airbrushed cap.

73. Documental Midget
A person believing that any random Certificate Of Authenticity (COA) accompanying a piece makes it 100% legitimate.

See also: Rusepaper - a COA seemingly printed on the seller’s home computer.

74. Auramatic
Having the pleasingly fragrant, musty old cardboard scent which returns you to the wonders of your card collecting childhood.

75. Monochrofanatic (also Nunner)
An exuberant collector of old black and white cards and/or photographs.

See also: Panda-monium, B/Wmusement

76. The Marlboro Boogeyman
The inability to confirm that a player on a tobacco card can be found with a certain back.

77. Walk-Off Moanrun
When a member is in a thread arguing with everybody and he ultimately states, “This will be my final post in this thread. I am outta here.”

78. Bent Franklin (slang)
A heavily creased or wrinkled card that you spent over a hundred dollars on.

79. Poolhardy
Spending a good amount of money buying slots in an organized ‘vintage set break,’ even though you know full well you’re going to walk away with the most common, worthless cards in the set.

See also: Emcee-headed - the host of the setbreak who has no clue how to pronounce the old ballplayer names as he reads out the cards.

80. The Gone-Too-Soon Landing (also Mourn Shot)
The race to be the first person to reach the main page and start a laudatory thread about a HOF’er who passed away that day.

81. John Wilkes Bruth
Someone using a last minute snipe bid to try to win a Bambino card.

See also: Ruthache - realizing your bid wasn’t high enough to win the card.

See also: Grassy Null - waiting until the final moments to bid hugely, but a second sniper suddenly comes out of nowhere to quash your bid and win the auction.

82. Left Hand of Fate (also Whitey Bored)
The fact that Topps seemingly had no other choice but to feature Whitey Ford holding out his southpaw towards the camera in the very same pose year after year after year.

See also: Gobbledybrook - having no idea what Topps was thinking when they put out Brooks Robinson’s 1958 card.

See also: Incomprejennsive - not being able to understand how any sentient human being doesn’t get completely annoyed every time they see yet another Hughie Jennings card showing his mouth wide open and his hands flying all over the place, apparently shouting, "Ee-Yah!"

83. Deniedsmaid
A person who was beaten by a single bid in an auction they were really hoping to win.

84. Backflippant
Having no qualms whatsoever about sending in a card for a regrade...but it ultimately comes back with a lower number on the label.

85. Ombidsman
The person at eBay who is supposedly investigating the fraudulent auctions that members report.

86. Sigfoot Hoax (also Hoodwinkwell)
When somebody asks members to specifically point out how they can tell an expensive autograph is a phony, and you get the sneaking feeling he’s only trying to pick up tips on how to better improve his penwork and forgery craft.

See also: Bicanery - pointing out an obvious forgery due to what type of pen was used.

87. Scangling
The process of slanting a card in the light to examine its surface.

See also: Tilt Jilt - angling a card in the sunlight and finding a wrinkle you never realized was there.

88. Traidorous
The feel of treachery you get when seeing pictures or cards of an all time great dressed in the uniform of a rival team he was dumped off to in the twilight of his career.

89. Gregg Jeffleece
A person who, blinded by dollar signs, poured a ton of money into buying up the rookie cards of a player with a huge potential...only to ultimately end up losing his shirt in the endeavor.

See also: Phenomecon - the hyped-up sales strategy of eBayers trying to turn every single rookie player into the next Willie Mays or Mickey Mantle.

See also: Trout Pout - feeling remorse and anguish that you missed the chance to load up on Mike Trout rookie cards before the explosion in sales prices occurred.

See also: Inhastement - quickly jumping in to buy an expensive, red hot card that you know will be a great investment, but each time you then check out the latest sales price data for the card, the number just keeps getting lower and lower and lower...

90. Suspended Chime-in-ation - taking too long to write a post, so when you finally hit ‘submit,’ you see that someone else has already either said the same thing as you or posted answers to the questions you were asking.

91. Not Telling the Hole Story
Getting a great deal on a card, but when it arrives you see there’s a pinhole in it that you didn’t notice in the auction photos.

See also: Poke Cloak - when a seller purposely doesn’t mention that a card has a pinhole in it.

92. STD (Scammer Transmitted Disease) (also Crabs Grab)
Feeling repulsed when you see that somebody on the site posted a card they purchased from one of the notorious card-doctoring eBay sellers.

93. Gratifriction
The enjoyment one gets when purposefully posting something that he knows will piss people off and start arguments.

See also: Bickerwish - a low-life who’s always seeking the above.

94. Scotchdog
An expert in the removal of tape and associated residue from old cards and photographs.

95. 20,000 Major Leaguers Under the Sea (also Let Them Eat Wake)
The spurious tale of Sy Berger and Woody Gelman dumping cases of 1952 high numbers into the Atlantic Ocean.

96. Beginners Pluck
Centering your collection around picking up HOF rookie cards.

97. Gattling Bidder
With a bunch of auctions all ending in quick succession one after another, a person figuring out how to get all of his bids in on time.

See also: Gattling Nun - someone praying to God that all of their bids get in before the close.

98. Coffee Fable
Using a pot of Taster’s Choice or Maxwell House to artificially age a reprint in order to pass it off as real.

99. Screenstab
Taking a wild guess as to WTF a member’s user name means.

100. Coopersclown
Anyone arguing that there’s a place in the Hall of Fame for obvious steroids-users.

See also: Blockbarry - someone who wants no part of the ‘Barry Bonds belongs in The Hall’ debate.

See also: Roid Sage - a person condescendingly repeating the obligatory old chestnut, “Barry Bonds had HOF numbers way before he ever started juicing.”

101. Sheetrock Your World (also Drywally Grail)
The dream of every collector to one day find a precious and valuable cache of old baseball cards hidden behind a wall.

See also: Hopin’ House (slang) - walking into an old building and wondering if there are tobacco cards secreted somewhere in the walls.

See also: Collectromagnetic Radiation (futuristic) - how people will eventually be able to see if there are any cards hidden inside of any wall they look at.

102. Junkler (also Junkthusiast or Dopaminer)
Someone digging through a shoebox full of old, worn out cards at a garage sale or flea market, hoping to find a jewel hidden amongst the rubbish.

103. Rays of Might
Asking whether a card is a ‘missing ink’ variation or just a card affected by overexposure to sunlight.

See also: Sunblather - trying to convince someone that an obviously sun-bleached card is a rare, missing ink variation.

See also: Sunspurn - not buying the bogus story being sold to you about a 'missing ink' card.

See also: Varbitration - the ongoing argument over what actually constitutes a true error or variation card.

See also: Windiana Jones - a person blowing smoke while trying to convince everyone that his newfound discovery of a minor print anomaly is an earthshakingly rare variation.

104. Ascentigrade
After submitting your cards, the blind hope that the ‘bad’ graders are on vacation, so your cards will receive higher numbers.

105. BV Guide
A thread containing opinions on which of the sites involved in tracking and updating auction sales price data is the finest and/or most comprehensive.

106. Reflurishment
Restoring a timeworn artifact, such as a vintage sign or tobacco advertisement, and making it look absolutely gorgeous, almost better than the original.

107. Coslaboration
When you start a thread complaining about the grade your card received...and one after another members chime in to say, “No, it definitely looks like it got the exact right grade.”

108. Dual Bidizenship
Placing bids because you need a card for your collection, but also realizing you may be able to get it at such a good price that you can quickly flip it for a nice profit.

109. Ambookvaluance
Feeling happy when a member posts a great new pick-up, but at the same time wanting to search out the auction on eBay to see how much the schmuck overpaid for the card.

110. Rantebellum
The argument that cards up to the mid-1950’s should also be referred to as pre-war, because they predate our involvement in the Vietnam Conflict.

111. Mobb
A group of people competing against each other to win a Ty Cobb card.

See also: Snobb or Cobblehead (informal) - a person only interested in Cobb cards and memorabilia.

See also: Squobble - the argument regarding which T206 portrait is more desirable, the red or the green.

See also: Hatchet Cobb (also ScornCobb Gripe) - the evolution of Ty Cobb’s reputation and ‘good’ name being cleared up after the sensationalized and fictional tales told by Al Stump.

112. Certified Post Accounter
Someone who refers a member to a specific numbered post in the same thread to get the information they were asking about.

113. Whowunit?
A caper seeking to find out if it was a net54 member who won a certain auction, so you can attempt to buy a specific piece of it off of him.

114. Post Cardum Wahoos
The overwhelming jubilation you feel as you open up your mailbox to see that your latest eBay purchases have arrived.

115. Title Waive
Opening the main page and knowing exactly what new threads you can skip right over based solely on the subject line.

116. Kudossier
The pics of your collection you keep on hand as you seek out any excuse to once again post them in any semi-suitable thread only for the purposes of eliciting compliments from other members.

117. Celebragtory
Posting a hugely expensive or treasured card in the new pick-ups thread without including any verbiage with it. The picture not only speaks for itself, but also makes everyone jealous.

118. Fincremental
Receiving a .5 bump in your card’s grade.

119. Cardilepsy
The fear that reading a newly posted long thread will only put you to sleep.

120. Great Smite North
Not considering the O-Pee-Chee cards of our northern neighbors to be ‘real’ cards.

121. Farther Christmas (also Ho Ho Holy Crap! or Santa Applause)
Taking part in the yearly 'Secret Santa' gift exchange, and being given something that goes way beyond what you were ever expecting to receive.

See also: Reverse Grinching (slang) - the act of sending out a very generous, bountiful gift.

See also: Lite Christmas (rarely used) - fearing the person who chose your name is going to stiff you.

See also: MistleWHOA! - feeling so joyful that you want to kiss the guy who sent you such a perfect gift.


And now my brain is total mush. I've put everything I got into this cyber-tome, so you better frickin' enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



On base, no one can hear you scream...so I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part III (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** I can't say this strongly enough. This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!

No animals were harmed in the making of this tome.


I encourage anyone stopping by to first scroll down and read #200, to understand what's going on here.



And the horses are on the track...


122. Omissionary (also Ballcard Faced Lie)
A person who purposefully lists a card as a PSA 9, even though it is actually a PSA 9 OC.

123. Fly-Over Greats (also The Overbook Hotel or Cases Loaded)
A show table full of beautiful Hall of Famer cards, but there’s not a single price tag anywhere to be seen, so you know everything is super-exorbitant and you decide to just pass it on by.

See also: Villainventory - a vendor’s table at a card show with just ridiculously high prices.

124. Ban of the Year Roast (also Adrianaline Rush)
A thread where people gleefully celebrate a certain member being kicked off of the site.

See also: Defrostracized - when a member is allowed to return after a temporary banning.

125. Roopthink
People who want their sets to only be housed in the finest binders available.

126. Fait Tobaccompli (also Tobaccomplish)
Finishing a particular run of T206 backs.

See also: Gnarley Horse - an ultra rare back that stops your full run attempt dead in its tracks.

127. Backslacker
Someone who doesn’t include a scan of the reverse of a card in an auction.

See also: Backnowledgement - a request to see a scan of the back of the card.

See also: Fifty-Nifty - a card with beautiful front centering, but having an MC qualifier because the other half (the back) is slightly miscut.

128. Syntaxperation
Being driven absolutely bonkers with frustration whenever you see a blatantly obvious misspelled word in a thread title...and it never gets corrected by the OP, even though it’s been there for days, weeks, months or forever!!!

See also: Premature Ecliculation - someone who typed so quickly he didn’t even notice the dumb misspellings and other errors he posted.

See also: Peacemik - a collector who is somehow able to summon the restraint needed NOT to blow a gasket every time someone incorrectly spells Mantle as “Mantel.”

See also: Grammar Yahtzee (also Five-Fool Player) - seeing a single post that contains no fewer than five misspellings and/or misuses of the words you’re/your, they’re/there/their, too/to/two or than/then.

129. Papo Dei Papi (Ital.)
The highest graded example of a card.

130. Digilantes
The ‘investigators’ who expose nefarious trim jobs that led to higher regrades.

See also: Good Pop/Bad Pop - the before and after pictures used to prove their case.

See also: Popdusted - when a slab’s overly ‘frosted edges’ indicates it has been compromised and the card inside has probably been switched.

See also: Phoenicks - a lower grade card that was shown to be trimmed and resubmitted to rise again as a high grade card.

131. Tenzing Noway
A person who knows he’ll never reach the top of the mountain and complete the 1952 Topps set due to the oxygen-depriving cost of the high numbers.

132. Caught Booking
When you ask a dealer, “How much for this card?,” and he immediately buries his face in the latest Beckett guide to establish his unreasonable price.

See also: Guide & Seek - trying to convince a seller that his price on a card you want is just preposterously higher than the supposed book value.

See also: Telefomenting - hotly showing past sales data sites on your cell phone to a dealer at a card show to prove that his asking price is simply outrageous.

133. Unfull Count (also Middle Deceiver)
When you buy a complete set and find there are cards missing as you flip through the numbers in the cardboard box.

134. Pine Drive (also Objet D’ash or Hickory Channel)
Stopping by an antiques shop in the hopes of stumbling across a valuable or noteworthy old-time wooden bat.

See also: Lumber Jumble - trying to work through the puzzle of figuring out if the bat you own was game used.

135. Going Yardsale (also Slambrosia)
Hitting a home run by finding a treasured card for a cheap price at a local garage sale.

See also: Four Bragger - a guy who makes a find like that, but enjoys rubbing everyone’s face in it.

136. Bushleaguered
Once again being completely annoyed by how poorly your favorite team is doing.

137. Porchshort
A package marked as delivered, when it never reached your door. Now you have to try to figure out if it was lost in the mail or delivered to the wrong address, etc.

See also: Stamp of Disapproval - having to argue with the USPS to get the mess sorted out.

138. Gasket Catch
The act of lightly tapping the sides of a holder to gently coax a card back into the slab’s gasket from which it escaped.

139. Excavacation
When someone asks for recommendations on what card shops he should dig around in while visiting a particular city or town.

140. Valley of the Swings
Jumping in and paying more than you would like to for a great card, because you are fearful that prices are going to start escalating soon.

See also: Elevator Grab - buying a card at a deliciously cheaper-than-expected price right in the middle of an upsurge.

141. Gin Dummy
Being liquored up and making some very dubious after-midnight purchase decisions on eBay.

142. Ebenezer Scrood
The realization that your card has spent so long flattened down in a screw-down holder that it will never get a grade other than “Authentic.”

143. Paintheartedness
After someone proudly shows off the artwork of their favorite ballplayer they’ve picked up, you just don’t have the heart to tell him how god-awful it looks, with distorted features and other patently obvious problems.

See also: Scrunchvision - when the subject’s eyes are indisputably, dreadfully much too close together.

144. Discounterpart (also Willie McCoverage or Ubiquitous Erving)
A player who is featured on one or more other cards (of far lesser value) in the same set containing his rookie card.

145. Slabstitute Teacher (slang)
A member who walks newbies through the process of getting cards graded.

146. Pigskinflation
Being priced out of HOF’er football cards that until recently you could’ve picked up for a mere song.

147. The Golden Hurls
Another episode of “Who was the better pitcher?” or a thread discussing which hurlers belong in the Hall of Fame.

148. Cigareverie (also Pipebeam)
Losing yourself in happy wonderment as you think about how somebody over a century ago pulled the very card you are holding out of a pack of cigarettes or tobacco.

See also: Timetrippedup - wishing you could go back in time to grab tobacco cards right out of the packs or see Hall of Famers playing in actual games...but knowing your lazy ass would be exposed as a time traveler by wearing the wrong hat or making too many ‘Seinfeld’ references.

149. Snarkeling
Happening onto a thread that’s on the verge of getting heated, and you start throwing snide comments into the mix to help it boil over.

See also: Butter-Baiter - a person who gleefully stokes the fire by posting an obnoxious ‘popcorn meme’ in the thread.

150. Dismaysed
Finally meeting your all-time favorite ballplayer in person, and it turns out he’s a real jackass.

151. Nyettlesome (also Slabnabbit)
Not understanding why PSA refused to grade a card that seemed to measure out perfectly fine, and returned it to you as “MINSIZREQ.”

152. Laughing Grass (also Yuckwheat)
An auction photo that BOOM!! has a stray pubic hair making a surprise appearance.

See also: Interfurence - when a pic shows all sorts of pet hair in and around the collectible.

153. Goose Pegg
Finding a nice 1973 Topps Rich Gossage rookie card in a cheap ‘bargain bin.’

See also: Winfergreen - a Dave Winfield card with gumstains on it.

See also: Sandy Fauxfax - Claude Osteen’s 1974 Topps card.

See also: Baltimore Swap - the attempt to trade for valuable Frank Robinson cards.

See also: Afrodisiac - seeing a 1976 Oscar Gamble ‘Traded’ card makes you fall in love with the hobby all over again.

See also: Hilearious - chuckling whenever you run across a Don Mossi card.

See also: Officialnado - a lover of the 1955 Bowman umpire cards.

See also: Arbihater or Grumpire - a collector who does not share that same affection.

See also: Moon Swoon - cracking a smile everytime you see Wally Moon’s legenday unibrow.

See also: Neckwhine or Collarmoan - being freaked out by the extreme length of Ed Brinkman’s neck.

154. Poptometrist
Someone who overuses the term “eye appeal” while talking about graded cards.

155. Shuncestry.com (also Conmancestry.com) (theoretical)
A site that examines the ‘DNA’ of a card to see if, before you agree to buy it, it has ever spent time with PWCC or other notorious card doctors.

156. Nostradumbass (also Over/Blunder)
The person whose guess is the most erroneous in any of the ‘predict the ending price of this auction’ contest threads.

157. Running the Gumet
Determining your own personal degree of acceptability when it comes to the various types of stains found on cards, from small amounts of wax/gum residue all the way up to spilled coffee.

See also: Withstanding Eight Count - cracking out a PSA 8 ST card, soaking it or wiping away the schmutz, resubmitting it and getting a straight 8.

See also: Stairway to Seven - the same process as above, but involving a PSA 7 ST card.

See also: Gumbelievable - not being able to figure out why Topps considered itself a chewing gum company and NOT a baseball card company.

158. Discomfortuitous
Stumbling across an incredibly rare, expensive and coveted card (e.g. Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson or Mickey Mantle) that you can pick up very cheaply and you feel as lucky as all hell...but although the card looks authentic, you just know something is wrong with the situation.

159. Canuck-Do Attitude
The love and appreciation of OPC and other ‘Canadian Version’ cards.

See also: Getting Hosered - quickly hitting the ‘Buy It Now’ button when you see a card at a great price that you need for your set...only to ultimately realize it’s an O-Pee-Chee card and not a Topps card.

See also: Substituque - an OPC card used as a temporary placeholder in your set binder until you can grab the Topps version.

160. Scorehoarding
Amassing boxes and boxes of 1980’s-90’s junk era cards to cut up and use in your artwork.

161. Foresmite (also Pushwhack)
Bidding in an auction you have no intention of winning for no other reason than to drive the price up early and make sure the eventual winner pays much more for the card.

See also: Predatatory - bidding up an auction, because you own the same card and want the sales price realized data to continue climbing upwards, so you’ll be able to eventually sell yours at a nice profit.

162. Cappeasement
The way companies were able to skirt around MLB and NFL contractual issues and produce card, stamp and picture sets by simply removing all traces of the logos from the hats, helmets and uniforms.

163. Disparitizing
Coming across a rarer ‘Green Tint’ in a pile of regular 1962 cards, a Milton Bradley in a stack of 1968’s, or a ‘White Letter’ in an album full of 1969’s.

164. Hearse Verse (also Euloguise)
The odd inclusion, since every one of us is going to die at some point, of “Deceased (and the date)” on a graded autograph label.

See also: Loophole Survivor - a graded autograph of a long-dead HOF’er that has no ‘deceased verbiage’ on the slab, because he was still alive when it was submitted.

See also: Cardtouche - the finally deciphered name of the illegible, chicken scrawl autograph you have on a collectible.

165. Nevervescence
Jubilantly talking about the reasons why you refuse to ever add a certain player’s cards to your collection, because you abhor him so.

166. Hofkilter
When every single common card in your full set binder is absolutely gorgeous..but every Hall of Famer, noted rookie, or high numbered card has wrinkles, corner damage and 90/10 centering both ways.

167. Bland-Me-Downs (also Artificial Bittersweetener or Asparlame)
The free extra throw-ins, like shiny new cards or unopened packs from the 90’s, etc., a seller adds to your package to give the impression that he’s really taking care of you, but it’s just a pile of crap.

See also: Second-Handcuffs - since you assume the only reason he’s giving this stuff out is because someone else dumped it on him, you put it aside to pass off to somebody else down the road.

See also: Schlockpile - the overfilled box you throw this useless junk into.

See also: Extra Winnings - the rare event when you actually get something additional that you’re very happy to receive.

168. Etched-in-Groan (also Quotastrophe)
Being way out of line or wrongly complaining about something, but since someone has already ‘quoted’ you in the thread, you can’t easily squeeze out of the mess (and avoid the flood of criticism) via a quick editing job of your original post.

See also: Impugner Eclipse - when a post in a thread just says “deleted” and you’ll never be able to see what kind of nonsense the member was spewing out at someone before ultimately removing the entire thing.

169. Blearious
Auction photos that are so badly out-of-focus that you can’t determine what shape the card is in.

See also: Smalpractice - posting such small pictures (and the zoom feature isn’t activated) that potential bidders can’t make heads or tails out of them.

See also: Scamouflaged - when an eBay seller has a large lot for sale and the main pic shows the cards in piles, and all of the other pictures are just close-ups of those very same piles, not giving the viewer any further information that would be useful.

See also: Cancel Adams (also Annie Leiboshitz or Richard Whathaveudon) - a person who posts such pictures.

170. Nouveau Leech
Someone who, after a famous player dies, immediately floods eBay with a million new, overpriced listings of his cards, trying to quickly turn a huge profit off of his unsuspecting fans’ grief.

See also: Pump-Bump-Chump - a person who falls for this scheme.

171. Pallid Bar
The display and discussion of ‘missing ink’ progressive proof cards.

172. Beckstinguished
Not being able to get a variation graded as a specific error card, because none of the preeminent price guides have officially ‘recognized’ the obvious variation.

173. Detachmentors
Collectors of cards that originally came with tabs or coupons, etc., attached to them.

See also: Tabradour Retriever - a collector who only obtains these cards with all portions being fully intact.

See also: Piecezeal (or Coupgone) - characterized by being open to obtaining such cards with or without those fragments still in place.

174. Lostalgia
Leaving something on your eBay watch list that says “This item is out of stock,” so you will never forget you made a terrible mistake in letting it go.

175. Removey Mogul (also Davy Crackit)
A collector who insists on freeing all of his cards from their TPG holders.

See also: Crackpocket - a collector who must break each of his cards out of their slabs to return them to their natural habitat, ensconced in binder pages.

See also: Crackitect - someone who offers step by step instructions on how to free a card from its plastic prison.

See also: Humblemished - the deflated feeling associated with actually damaging a card during the slab-removal process.

176. Toppleganger
A card which features the same photograph of a player that Topps had already used in a previous year.

See also: Lazyclones - when the same exact picture is used for two straight years.

See also: Croppleganger (slang) - when that same photograph has been resized and/or cropped differently than the other time(s) it was used.

See also: Double Gum - when they use the same exact photo for a player in multiple sets/inserts in the same year.

177. Boomerwrangler
A person so angered by the grade his card received, that he immediately cracks it out and resubmits it right back to the place it just came from in hopes of receiving the higher grade it deserves.

See also: Boonerang (informal) - having a card regraded and it actually comes back at a higher number.

178. Bobgoblin
The bone of contention regarding whether Topps used the name ‘Bob’ on Roberto Clemente cards due to prejudice or because it’s the common shortening of a name such as Robert.

179. Clinchpin
When the last card needed to finally complete your set is one of the most expensive to obtain.

See also: Satisfind - grabbing a card that falls well shy of your usual set and condition parameters, but it will have to do for the time being.

See also: Weakest Brink - when the last card you need to finish your set is some hard-to-find, random, no-name scrub you’ve never even heard of before.

180. Sigh Young (also Old at Heart)
Being greatly disturbed by seeing Cy Young’s paunchy old man body on cards and in pictures, and wondering how in heck he could’ve ever won even a single game.

181. Yukstaposition (Also Ron Tompgrins, Jerry Amuseman, Bill Dene-Hee-Hee, Al Weiscrack or Ron Slay)
How some people try to get laughs by referring to the Johnny Bench, Nolan Ryan, Tom Seaver, Pete Rose, or Mike Schmidt rookie cards by using one-of-the-other-players-pictured’s names instead.

182. Covertigo
The uneasy feeling you get when you suspect the person who started a glowing thread about a card on eBay is actually the owner and seller of said card and is trying to keep it under the radar.

183. Unbridled Trekstacy
Looking absolutely forward to travelling a long way to attend a certain card show.

184. Nicokeen (also Spitloon)
A collector who loves picking up cards slathered in ancient tobacco residue or blotched with Cracker Jack stains.

185. Deals on Wheels
An eBay auction that proclaims, “Benefits charity.”

186. Greenbackbreak
The real (and quickly escalating) price of an auction win after the buyer’s premium, taxes, shipping and insurance are added in.

See also: Vigwig - an esteemed auction house that gets away with charging usurious buyer’s premiums.

187. Doughnanza (also The Closetta Stone)
Finding a truly awesome and highly valuable card out of nowhere, hidden inside some long forgotten, stored away box.

188. Fraudcaster
Talking happily about the baseball play-by-play men you grew up watching or listening to, and assuming everyone who isn’t from your neck of the woods knows exactly who you’re talking about...but they have no clue who these people are.

189. Rummagist
Someone who adores digging through the jam-packed discount boxes at a card show.

See also: Digamy - searching through bargain boxes on two different sellers’ adjoining tables at the same time.

See also: Rummagination - the hope that one of these bins holds a treasured card.

See also: Siftmate - the guy right next to you bumping your elbows as he’s digging through the box in front of him.

See also: Digmouth - a guy at the table who just keeps talking to you, when you want no part of it!

See also: Yearntable - looking at someone searching through a box of cards at the next vendor’s set-up, and wanting him to hurry the f*ck up, so you can have your turn to dive in.

See also: High Truncation - feeling incredibly elated after stumbling upon a great error card or rare high number that isn’t marked as such, but when you ask the seller how much he wants for it, it turns out he knows EXACTLY what the card is.

190. Rawkus
Being very unhappy when someone uses the term ‘raw’ to describe ungraded cards.

191. Stuperefraction
Being absolutely bewildered by and not understanding a single thing about all of the shiny, modern day card sets.

192. Raising Baines
The tumult caused by lesser players being enshrined in the Hall of Fame.

193. Pehighnumbra
The portions of the country sitting outside of the main Topps distribution zones, and the stores located there never got boxes of the last series of baseball cards to sell to kids.

See also: Brimpartiality - Finding checklists where the last numbers checked are where the semi-high series ended, so you know the owner was close, but unable to complete their set due to the lack of high numbers in the local stores.

See also: Kicker Shock - going into a store as summer wanes and being stunned to find the baseball cards are no more, and they have been replaced by the latest football card wax packs.

See also: Highnumbskull - a collector who thinks he got a great deal on a bunch of vintage high numbers, only to realize later that the cards are actually from the much more common semi-high series.

194. Kepilogg (also Cereal Killer)
The fact that at some point your beloved Kellogg’s 3-D cards are going to shrivel up and crack. You don’t know when it will happen, but the same ending is in store for each and every one of them.

See also: Chorus Curls - everyone telling their own horror stories about how their Kellogg’s 3-D cards crumbled over time.

See also: Schrödinger’s Card - a PSA 9 or PSA 10 Kellogg’s 3-D card sitting in a holder, but having all sorts of cracks that developed after it was slabbed.

195. Mend the Bend!
Seeing a card inside a toploader with one of the corner layers bent up against the plastic, which causes you to scream to the heavens, “Why didn’t you push that corner down, back into place before scanning and posting it????!!!!!!!!!”

196. Used Card Salesman
An eBayer who adds words like “Pack Fresh!!!,” Undergraded!!!!," “Centered!!,” “Regrade???,” or “HOF!!” to his auction titles.

See also: Hyperbolshitter - someone in the B/S/T who completely overhypes what they are selling by flooding the listing with adjectives and all sorts of superfluous blather like “Highlighted by deep rich colors” or “...and the beautiful image dovetails into the pristine snow white borders.”

197. Graded Exchange Rate
The pursuit of a mathematical equation to forever solve vexing problems such as, “If a PSA 6 usually sells for X amount, how much less should I pay for the same card in an SGC 6 holder?”

See also: Whifferential (in beta testing) - the advanced formula that takes into account what grade you’re convinced your card will receive, in order to determine what (much lower) number it will actually receive.

See also: Onomapopeia - the litany of curses that flies out of your mouth the moment you find out what horrible grades your cards received.

198. Gravitassist (also Exchange of Heart)
When one member shows dignity by stepping in to help another member score something great at no charge, because they were screwed over by someone else.

199. Reciprocobbal
A T206 Ty Cobb card with a Ty Cobb back.

200. Smilestone
Celebrating a highly notable post count number by offering up something entertaining.

201. Safelacker
Someone who talks a big game about having strongboxes and such, but you think, “Who are they kidding?” and know all of their Mantles are just sitting in a desk drawer, sandwiched between well-worn sudoku puzzle books and a slew of beef jerky wrappers.

202. Twinbilking
Winning two separate auctions from the same seller, but accidentally paying for one of them by its lonesome, so you then have to add shipping again when you pay for the second card.

203. In Your Stealhouse (also Situating Pretty)
Being the first person to see something at a great price, presumably because it must’ve been listed moments before you got there, so you snatch it right up.

204. Hot Water Theater
When you pop into a water cooler section thread as a casual change of pace...and suddenly realize you’ve stumbled into a shit show!!

205. Blockroach
A seller who, no matter how many different ways you try to prevent his listings from showing up in your eBay searches, still finds a way to get his auctions through.

See also: Demoniker - a secondary or supplemental eBay username employed by these types of sellers.

206. Autosnafu
The unfortunate way card companies cut noteworthy signatures out of full pictures or documents to scrunch them into the tiny window of a chase card.

See also: Bullfit! (informal) - an autograph that is partially cut off or obscured in one of these contrivances.

207. The Equivoprevarication Hypocrisy (also Chirperjury)
The fact that countless sellers holler and exclaim that the card they’re selling looks so much better than the grade it received...yet not a single one of these hawkers ever says that one of their cards actually looks worse than the grade given.

See also: Jumba-Liar - an auction description that’s a veritable hodgepodge of half-truths and falsehoods.

208. Cardboard Cryptid
A card that is virtually impossible to find perfectly centered.

See also: Proportunate - feeling psyched about finally finding a ‘decently’ centered example.

209. Bubble Scramble
With card prices continuing to rise exponentially, your buying habits are being completely redefined every single day.

See also: Crumbrage (also Cellar’s Market) - being annoyed that the only cards you can now afford are basically the bottom of the barrel throwaways.

See also: Trainwrecktrospect - looking back on the very poor decision of selling your cards too soon, too cheaply before prices really began to escalate.

210. Hubba-Hubba-Bubba (also Riding the Cardboard Escalator)
The happiness of seeing the huge bubble gum card bubble magnificently increasing the value of your collection.

See also: Dweller’s Market - being unsure whether now is the right time to sell, or if prices are going to continue to climb.

See also: Bubble Dump - deciding to take a quick profit by selling off your cards right now.

See also: Kurt Bevacquation - the desire to sell off your collection in a hurry before the giant bubble bursts, so you can use the proceeds to take your family on a great trip.

211. Slabberdasher
A collector looking for input and ideas on how to best display and lay out his cards, uniforms and other memorabilia in his ‘man cave.’

212. Breaking the Plastic Ceiling
The moment you decide that the vast majority of your card purchases from here on out will be of the graded variety.

213. 52 Hours a Day (colloquialism)
The amount of time spent discussing the endless fascination with Mickey Mantle’s first Topps card.

214. Guillotine Set (also Overheaded)
Any Topps offering which is comprised of an inordinate amount of headshots.

See also: Marie Fantoinette - someone who adores those types of cards.

See also: Beheadhunter - an avid collector of the 1960 Topps set.

See also: Yearbooker - a lover of the 1960 Leaf set.

215. Meticumulation (also Minticulous)
A collection of only very high grade cards.

See also: Wantificating - a collector arrogantly explaining why he doesn’t dig the card somebody bought, because some specific aspect falls just shy of his own personal finicky grading and collecting requirements.

216. The Lonesome Sighway
Feeling isolated and forsaken, because you are seemingly the only person who collects and/or is into the types of cards you collect.

217. Wynicism
On the rare occasion you actually triumph in an auction with a pretty low bid, your mind instantly becomes clogged with thoughts such as, “Uh oh, how did I possibly win it?? Did I miss something?? Is there a flaw in the card I didn’t see?”

218. HOFOMO (acronym)
Fear of missing out on your opportunity to buy Hall of Famer cards at decent prices as said prices continue to soar.

219. Leatherbrain (also Addicted to Glove)
Someone whose collecting focus centers around the all-time great fielders.

See also: Slugbug (or Slamlord) - a collector focused primarily on legendary power hitters.

See also: Moundhound (or Hurlieman or Firehauler) - a seeker of cards and memorabilia portraying the most celebrated pitchers in the game’s history.

220. Bad Commacation
Not properly inserting a comma in your sales price, so at first glance a card appears to be an incredible ‘bargain’ at $850, and not $8,500.

221. Disgarveyfication (also Flaw of Averages)
Thinking the superstars you worshiped as a boy were clear cut all-time greats and first-ballot HOF’ers, but when you give their stats a once-over now, you realize they were just meh.

222. 177/537 Disease
Seeing a vintage card and having the innate ability to immediately remember what number it is without giving it a second thought.

223. Non-Mathematical Gradipulation
Not being able to understand how a card graded as an SGC 80 works out to be a 6???? Why isn’t it an 8????

224. Garbarian (also Garmentor or Raimentic)
Someone who is able to readily identify what year a photograph was taken based on specific aspects of the player’s uniform.

See also: Costdoomer (or Garfomentor) - someone who heartily disagrees with his assessment of the apparel in question.

See also: Boutfitter - a member who happily jumps in to fight in defense of the OP’s conclusions.

See also: Dorian Ungray - the use of very old photos by card companies, where there is clear evidence (a long gone stadium, an old uniform, etc.) in the photograph that proves it was snapped many years ago...not to mention how absurdly youthful the player appears.

225. Erudouche
A person who feels obligated to point out words that 99.99% of the population uses as synonyms (“rare” and “scarce,” e.g.) actually have sightly different meanings.

See also: Dichthyologist (or Marine Biolojerk) - someone who jumps in to ‘correct’ anyone using the time-honored exhortation “Squish the fish!!” (meaning “Beat Miami!!”), by pompously stating that a dolphin isn’t a fish, it’s a mammal.

226. Canardboard (also Hubriscation)
The smug and silly dismissal that valuable baseball cards are “just cardboard.” Sure, and ‘The Mona Lisa’ is just some pigment on a piece of wood.

See also: Glampifying - romanticizing a pile of old cards in bad shape for sale by referring to them as being in “Collector’s Grade.”

227. Exorbitancy Coefficient
The mathematical formula involved in determining if using a combination of 15% off coupons, credit card points, and eBay bucks will offset the ridiculous asking price of a card enough to ultimately make buying it ‘worth it.’

228. Registry Disparity
The mathematical rule of thumb that a card with a qualifier is equal to a straight graded card two whole numbers lower.

See also: The Binary Conundrum - owning a graded card with a qualifier, but since the ‘defect’ is so minor, it definitely doesn’t merit having a two-grades-lower drop in value.

229. Scrubbish
Rookie cards of players that never made it big appearing in the same set with the same layout as other valuable, much sought after rookie cards.

230. Coming In from the Mold (also Grabbing the Raines)
When a long-retired player finally becomes a HOFer and you start digging through your old cardboard boxes in search of his cards.

See also: Vexaltation - being pissed that when you dig those cards out they are in awful shape because they’ve been rattling around in your commons/junk boxes all of these years.

See also: Mildewphoria - the delight in discovering you have a bunch of his rookie cards socked away.

See also: Epidemacclaim - the huge amount of overpriced cards suddenly appearing everywhere on eBay the moment the ballplayer is finally elected to The Hall.

See also: Prognostogainer - someone who speculated perfectly on the HOF vote and was able to cheaply load up on the player’s cards in advance.

See also: Windfault - spending a lot of money buying the rookie cards of a player you were sure was going to be enshrined this time, only to see him once again fall short.

231. Individual Wagneria
The cards that normal people hold up as their own personal most valuable or treasured collectibles.

See also: Gutzon Borgum - the cards you choose to be a part of your own personal ‘Mt. Rushmore’ of collectibles.

232. Lexiconjecture
Seeing a word, phrase or acronym in someone’s post and not being able to tell if it’s a misspelling or an example of new terminology that you are unfamiliar with.

233. Master Set-back (also Annextra)
After someone makes a new variation discovery (usually a minor printing anomaly), and you realize the card in your master set already is this version, so you must sadly go out and spend the money to add the ‘regular’ version.

234. Scaventurous
With a smile on your face and your team’s cap on your head, standing at the entrance to a card show and wondering what magical hidden treasures you are going to come across today.

See also: Capture the Slag - happily spending very little money and amassing a nice pile of star cards in really bad shape.

235. Too-Too Clock
Although everyone is (rightfully) complaining about how expensive cards are getting these days, the simple truth is cards have always been way ‘too’ expensive since the beginning of time. Even when Mays and Mantle cards could be gotten for $5 apiece, that was considered a ludicrous price.

236. Deceiviation
When someone touts that he’s selling a Hall of Famer card (cheaply), but when you open the thread you find it’s not the player’s ‘regular’ card, but a much-less-desirable combination card, World Series card, checklist or league leaders card.

See also: Dooplomat - the author of such a thread.

See also: Sidemicks - the players appearing on cards with Mickey Mantle.

See also: Trophesizing - calling a card for sale a “rookie card,” when it’s actually a second year card that has the Topps All-Star Rookie trophy on it.

237. Thrillogical (also Prosposterous)
Having a card listed with a ‘Buy It Now’ price for quite some time and it never sells, but when you decide to relist it as a straight auction, the hammer price ends up exceeding what your BIN always was.

238. Droughtstretch (also The No Cardboard Blues or Cry Spell)
That horribly sad period of time when you have absolutely no eBay wins coming to your home in the forseeable future.

See also: Dearthling - a collector caught up in this pitiful situation.

See also: Droughtburst - the card you finally buy that puts an end to this terrible stretch of time.

239. Bendacity
Looking at a prized card you own that is creased, and not being able to fully accept and get over the fact that there will never ever be a way to flatten it out and rid it of those nasty wrinkles.

240. Pocket Scientist (also Neinstein)
A collector who has a knack for quickly placing cards into the right page slots (while transferring a partial set into a binder) by efficiently doing the multiples of 9 math.

241. Louie-Leaner (also Precise Versa)
Correctly orienting your team and other horizontal cards (in albums and holders) with the de facto ‘tops’ on the left side and NOT the right side.

242. Auspiezious
A mediocre player who holds a place of prominence in the collecting world simply because he appears on either a rare variation or an otherwise significant card.

243. Charcoal Merchant (also Blackpeddler)
A person who deceptively darkens the corners and edges of 1971 Topps cards in order to pull a fast one and pass them off as high grade.

See also: Tragic Marker - the discovery that one of your key 1971 cards was recolored sometime in the past.

See also: Pooreo (slang) - the ease with which your black 1971 cards immediately wore away into white.

244. Spider Banes
Very conspicuous print lines that adversely affect the look of an otherwise nice card.

245. Club Orthoboxy
Keeping your cards sorted by teams and not in numerical order.

246. Sicken Scratch (also Scrivendacity)
When someone posts a nearly illegible handwritten letter or postcard from an old time player and doesn’t include either a transcript or a summation of what the heck it says.

247. The Apopalypse
The constant ‘the sky is falling’ cry (heard very less often these days) of people thinking the graded card market is going to bottom out.

248. Despairasitic (also Gone With the Win)
Checking on an auction you’re really hoping to win with a low snipe bid, but seeing there’s a multitude of people watching it, so you realize you don’t stand a chance in hell.

249. Hemlinegevity (also Puberty Derailment)
How ‘all’ kids collect cards from early on in grade school up until they start chasing skirts sometime in middle school, only to then pick up the hobby again decades later.

250. Case and Effect
The manner in which card collecting has drastically changed with the onset of professional grading. It used to be that you’d grab any card you need for your set, centering or other factors be damned, but now the paradigm of what constitutes ‘acceptable cardboard’ has been changed for many collectors.

251. Standing Shill
The BS involved with ignoring the fact that illegitimate bidders screw everyone over and drive prices fraudulently upward. It’s usually accompanied by an inane statement such as, “I bid the maximum I’m going to bid and that’s it. Whatever happens, happens.”

252. In Screeno Veritas (Lat.) (also Web Phlegm)
The attempt to use Photoshop to alter a picture to trick people into believing you own a card...but the posted picture has enough clues in it to prove the truth. You ain’t got it.

253. Griptrip
An eBay auction with the picture showing the seller’s hand holding the card for sale.

See also: Fingerfolk (or Second Handlers) - eBayers who engage in this practice.

See also: Porkadillo - the offense of making everyone feel painfully uncomfortable as they’re forced to stare at your meaty sausage fingers in the auction photos.

254. Ramenstration
The act of cutting back on your usual dining habits in order to free up money to use on the cards you’re looking to buy.

See also: Dehammered - the feeling that the rate at which prices are rising means you’re never going to win another auction.

255. Dismissogyny (also Scold Shoulder)
The contempt you feel for your wife when she once again dismissively mocks or belittles your ‘silly little hobby.’

256. Swapchase (also Flexchange)
A transaction involving two people trading cards, wherein one of the parties also adds a predetermined amount of cash to the deal.

257. Cardboardhydrates
The list of ingredients found on a wax pack for the plank of gum inserted within.

258. Switchfaced (also Opposhit)
The unintentional use of a reversed photographic image on a baseball card.

259. Jivestocker
A seller who only uses ‘stock photos’ in his listings.

260. Intecollectual
A person who uses a smart, discerning, and measured approach to his card collecting methods.

261. Numerelevance (also Prime-Timecard)
How Topps reserved the more significant card numbers, such as #100, #200, etc., for the most cherished players in the set.

262. Metropolitangential
Being a huge fan and collector of New York Mets cards and memorabilia, but also having a soft spot in your heart for their pseudo-ancestors, the NY Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers.

See also: Sox Addict - a fan of either (or both) of the American League teams haling from Boston, MA and Chicago, IL.

263. “Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.” (maxim)
The assessment of the continuing upsurge in baseball card prices.

See also: “Strike while the cardboard is hot.” - knowing that, although it’s very pricey, you need to buy a card you’re interested in now before the cost climbs even higher in the immediate future.

See also: Opportunity Accost - unexpectedly coming across a card (that you may or may not need) and knowing if you don’t buy it immediately at this price, the next person who sees it will undoubtedly jump on it.

See also: Redbreaded - a person who has actually found a way to lose money selling their cards in this booming collectibles market.

264. Woe Tide (also Floodraising)
The befuddlement of seeing the asking prices of lesser cards also going through the roof in the current environment, as if they were suddenly on par with the all-time greats.

265. PSA 11
Whether graded or not, just a fantastically beautiful card.

See also: Elevening - bragging about how great a graded card you’re selling looks.

266. Blockaid
The post, PM, or some other occurrence that tells you it’s time to relegate a particular member to your 'ignore' list.

See also: Speedelete - when you see a PM in your in-box and you know the guy who sent it is just spewing crap, so you immediately throw it in the trash without reading it.

See also: Perplexiled - when you find yourself on the blocked list of an eBay seller and have no recollection as to why you were put there.

See also: Laughingblock - when someone believes that blocking you is going to adversely affect your life, but it just makes you chuckle.

267. Callousthetics
Deceptively using an image stolen from an eBay auction to ‘sell’ a card you don’t actually own.

268. Unicornery
A card doctor making all four corners of a very rare and valuable (fake) card universally, symmetrically rounded, although a card like that does not exist in the natural world.

269. Harpoonnacle
The exhilirating feeling of being on top of the world after your hunt for one of your ‘white whales’ has finally come to a joyous conclusion.

See also: Leviathinning - crossing that significant card off of your want list.

See also: Ahabitual - the persistent, daily employment of eBay searches (and other methods) in your pursuit of one of your ‘white whales.’

See also: Vortexuberance - the feeling of joy and relief that comes with winning a turbulent and hotly-contested auction between multiple rival bidders.

270. Decimalarkey
The miniscule, undetected-by-the-human-eye factors that supposedly differentiate a PSA 9 card from a PSA 10.

271. Flipclipper
Stopping someone dead in his tracks who’s trying to sweet-talk you out of a card for next to nothing, because you know full well he’s only looking to grab it to immediately resell it at a big profit.

272. Condescenturions
People who post things that are already blatantly obvious to everyone, as if they’re somehow adding insightful info to the thread. It’s the baseball card equivalent of a person on a computer help-line asking you, “Is your machine plugged in?”

273. Slabyrinthine (also Contorturous)
The arduously long and painstakingly difficult task of trying to free a card sandwiched between multiple layers of cardboard, encased in bubble wrap and having every conceivable angle thickly covered in tight layers of tape with no apparent edges to be found.

274. “I wouldn’t touch his cards with a sixty foot, six inch pole.” (slang)
The disdain for a Hall of Fame pitcher felt by a collector who believes he has no business being in Cooperstown.

275. Slimperceptible (also Scantily Bad)
A card whose centering is only a mere hair worse than another virtually identical card, but unlike that one, it gets a dreaded OC qualifier on the label.

See also: “All OC cards are equal, but some OC cards are more equal than others.” - how a card falling just a speck outside of the TPG’s centering parameters and one that is egregiously off-centered 90-10 both ways will each receive the same qualifier.

276. Unintended Cardsequences (also Carbohyway Robbery)
Although Topps purposefully packaged their baseball cards in wax packs with large sticks of gum inserted, when a card is found to have wax or gum residue present on it, it is devalued and/or given a qualifier.

277. Discountentment
Getting an expensive card at a ‘bargain,’ but it may prove to be a bad thing when it’s time to sell, because your low winning bid will appear on the sales price data sites and make potential buyers rethink what the card’s value is.

278. Paxploitation Film
A Hollywood movie (or TV show) where baseball cards make an unexpected appearance.

279. Groan-Sharking
Posting a card for sale at such an egregiously high price (which doesn’t conform in any way shape or form to past sales), and causing everyone to gripe, “What is this guy thinking???!!”

See also: Trolesaler - a person who’s a member of this site for no other reason than to take advantage of the free access to the B/S/T and hawk their exorbitantly priced cards.

See also: Doing a Double-Brake (informal) - suddenly stopping when you see an eBay price that is so absolutely ridiculous that it makes you wonder if you’re missing something. Like, is the card a Venezuelan or something??

280. Cardines
The stuff you put out there as trade bait.

281. Forefingerphobia (also Ruinjurious)
The common anxiety accompanying any attempt to remove a card from a toploader, because awkwardly stuffing your finger into such a thin, confined space can only end up damaging it.

282. Pathminder (also Good Sportmanshepherd)
Someone who ‘dutifully’ chimes in to tell you your post is in the wrong section.

See also: Navigrater - a person who guides the person to the correct area, but there’s a bit of bite in his response.

283. Shodification
An offer sent to you by an eBayer which is only a tiny, insignificant reduction of his original listing price.

See also: Repeat Scoffender - an eBay seller who sends you an offer to buy their card at such an exorbitant price that you can’t help but laugh and immediately reject it...but then time passes and the seller once again sends you a ‘new’ offer at the exact same outrageous price.

284. Protrusion Confusion
Not really understanding what the specific, precise definition of a corner ‘bump’ or ‘ding’ is.

285. Rostertute
A member having a list of people he’s done deals with catalogued in his signature.

286. Drag Clean (slang)
Someone who uses pantyhose to remove wax and gum residue from the surface of a card.

See also: Leggy - a graded card with an ‘ST’ qualifier that you know can be easily eliminated by using a pair of pantyhose to wipe away the ‘invisible’ wax or gum residue on it.
“That card’s got legs.”



Arthur Fonzarelli’s wearing his leather jacket and skiing across the water...so it is time to
JUMP THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!

I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VI (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #306 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

This post is ribbed for her pleasure. Do not swim for at least 30 minutes after reading. Action figures sold separately.


So it is up to you, good people of Earth, to figure out what you wanna do with all of this. Good luck...



287. Slyopic (also Glaucomedy)
The utilization of ‘at signs’ to imitate eyes and form the word “L@@K” in an auction title.

288. Grudge Crater
Bemoaning the notable holes (superstars who were not included) in an old set, and wishing the suspiciously missing cards woulda/coulda/shoulda been a part of it.

See also: Bubblegum POWs - the players not found in certain sets from the 1950’s due to the intense legal conflicts between Topps and Bowman, among others.

See also: MIArtyrdom - the glorious wonderment of imagining what the missing cards of specific HOF’ers would have looked like were they ever produced.

289. Guffawbulous
Having a name (Eddie Stanky, Heinie Manush, Johnny Pesky, Tom Tresh, Pete LaCock, e.g.) that causes every single collector alive to giggle a little bit whenever they run across one of his cards.

290. Klutts/Washington Extrapolation
The huge increase in value that a 1978 Topps Rookie Shortstops #707 card will surely attain if another one of the players pictured on it finds his way into the Hall of Fame.

291. He’s All Gum, No Cardboard (put-down)
A collector who talks a really big game and fancies himself some sort of baseball card expert, but it’s pretty obvious he has no clue what he’s talking about.

292. The Plastic Paradox
A card with a ‘Buy-It-Now’ price on eBay that is less than what it would’ve cost to have said card graded in the first place.

293. Carat-Top
A card with a discernible diamond cut.

See also: Rotato - a card that is a true rectangle, but the image on it is tilted due to a sheet cutting mishap.

294. Planned Grabsolescence
Adding overpriced things to your eBay watch list, because you know the long three month wait for your eBay Bucks Certificate to be unlocked is right around the corner, so you’ll be able to get them at a much better overall cost.

295. Sendwich
The traditional setup wherein a card in a slab or toploader is placed between two pieces of cardboard, bubble wrapped and then taped together and inserted into a mailer.

See also: Flub Sendwich - when a seller doesn’t properly seal a toploader with tape, and the card is able to slide out of its moorings while in transit.

See also: Schmuckstuck - when a toploader is rendered forever useless by a careless seller who seals it with impossible-to-remove packing tape, transforming it into a permanently sticky mess.

See also: Stichabod Crane - a seller who commits this offense.

296. COCD (Cardboard Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
The malady plaguing people who have strict, unwavering personal standards regarding how perfectly centered a card must be to earn a place in their own personal collection.

See also: Centertainers (or Middle Sages) - collectors afflicted with this condition who take particular delight in showing off their beautifully centered cards.

297. Bogusto (also Grate Expectations)
The exhiliration of seeing your eBay listing has a whole slew of watchers...only to bitterly realize that they’re not potential buyers, but lookie-loos waiting to see if anyone is stupid enough to pull the trigger at your ridiculous price.

298. Blockem’s Razor
The principle that in deciding whether or not to add an eBayer to your blocked bidders list, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. He’s going to be a problem for you.

299. Blindignity
When the photo on a card captures the player with his eyes either fully closed or in ‘mid-blink.’

See also: Mocularity - the undoubted mirth and merriment expressed by the people at the card company as they decided to use that particular ‘eyes closed’ photo for the card instead of selecting a nicer one.

See also: Blinksmanship - a photographer’s knack for catching players in this state.

300. Noobilation
The happily optimistic and enthusiastic posts of someone who’s just recently joined the site and has obviously not yet been exposed to net54’s sordid, seamy underbelly.

301. Trimpropriety
Deciding what the acceptable shortness of a card can be, either top to bottom or side to side, that occurred naturally when the sheets of cards were cut at the factory.

302. BINishing Touches
Happily finding a very affordable Buy-It-Now price for the last card you need to finally complete your set.

303. A Player to be Hall-of-Famed Later (also Pete Rose Colored Glasses or Grandiminoso)
Expecting to get more for a card in a trade or a sale than it is truly worth, because, "Everyone knows he should definitely be in the Hall of Fame!"

See also: Juice-Bumps - when this tactic is used with regard to steroids-era players.

See also: Ain’thood - the continual uptick in admiration and reverence a ballplayer, arguably with the qualities of an all-time great, receives the longer he is ‘wrongly’ held out of Cooperstown.

304. Sherlock Chromes
A collector exposing the forgeries and/or trim-jobs of modern cards.

305. Ribbie-Glibby (slang)
Any self-important know-it-all who refuses to accept the acronym “RBI” as the independent word it truly is, and therefore never deigns to pluralize it and say, “RBIs.”
“He hit .254 while tallying a healthy 103 RBI.”

306. Basebull Market (also Batmitt Crazy)
How economists in the future will describe the drastic upsurge in baseball card buying and selling during the pandemic.

307. Peaceful, Sleazy Feeling
The theme song of card doctors.

See also: Noh Canada - the national anthem of sellers who realize much too late how much more it costs to ship a card up to our northern neighbors.

308. Costume Foolery
A baseball card (usually from very early in his big-league career) showing a player wearing a number different from the one with which he has forever been associated.

309. Poach Roach
After hitting ‘Buy-It-Now’ and sending payment for a card, you receive a message informing you the seller has cancelled the transaction and refunded your money...and you know full well it’s because someone contacted this unscrupulous seller and offered him more money for the card.

310. Plate Crasher (also Aingejustice or Jordantithesis)
A player who appears completely out of place on a baseball card, because he is much more renowned for playing an entirely different sport.

311. The Cardboard Menagerie
A table at a show having a wonderfully wide and varied assortment of different sports, years, brands and memorabilia on it.

312. Nextortion (also Foregoading or Bumptimatum)
When a member bumps his ‘for sale’ thread with a resentful veiled threat of, "This is your final chance to get this card before I move it to eBay tomorrow!!"

See also: Rantifesto (also Addendumb) - a condescending statement added to the end of an eBay listing which chastizes potential bidders for committing whatever perceived affronts the seller has rattling around in his head.

313. One-Trick Phony (also Harvey Hadhoax or Lucky Dent)
A player who has forever enjoyed a highly elevated status within the collecting community due ‘only’ to a readily-identifiable, single game accomplishment or occurrence.

See also: Pizazzeroski - a player from this group who has found his way into Cooperstown.

314. Acronymrod
A member who, for unknown reasons, eschews using simple, straight-forward abbreviations like “FS” or “PM,” to instead use his own slightly different combinations of letters.

See also: Deciphoraging - wracking your brain in an attempt to figure out exactly what each of those initials could possibly stand for. (Also pertains to misspelled acronyms.)

315. Ancestuous
Doing searches for players like “Aaron,” “Sisler,” “Brett,” and “Griffey” and having to weed through all of the results showing their much-less-desired relatives’ items.

316. April Drools Day (informal)
The spring afternoon when you realize the official start of the baseball season is finally here at last.

317. Brag Tax
The additional fees paid to a player to have him add a very brief inscription of an achievement, like “HOF 1999,” to his autograph.

318. Mets Runway (also Batwalk)
The patch of ground between the visitors’ dugout and the third base line at Shea Stadium where every National Leaguer was forced to walk to and pose for Topps photographers.

319. Louvre Affair
Cards that sit forever unsold due to their seller’s penchant for ‘museum’ pricing.

320. Vendor Reveal Party
A seller who gleefully proclaims, “Newly Graded!!!” in his auction description, as if he’s announcing the birth of a child.

321. Fundamantles
The simple rule of thumb that the Mickey Mantle card will be the most expensive card in the vast majority of sets in which he appears.

See also: Reds Herring - the odd occurrence wherein the 1963 Topps Pete Rose rookie card takes that title instead.

See also: Micked-Off - how the high-numbered 1967 Topps Tom Seaver rookie card stops the value-war dead in its tracks.

See also: Mr. Bloctober - due to the existence of the 1969 Topps ‘white letter’ variation, Mantle is technically still able to claim the throne over the Reggie Jackson rookie card.

See also: Polemick - the ongoing debate of whether or not Mickey Mantle’s 1969 card counts as the last one of his playing career, since he retired before the regular season got under way.

322. Bubble Gumption
A message sent to an eBay seller asking, “What is the absolute lowest price you will accept for this card?”

See also: Smite Back Atcha (idiom) - when the seller immediately replies, "What's the absolute highest price you will pay???"

323. Fliptease
The systematic removal of a graded card from its plastic holder.

324. Skewedonyms
The inconsistent spellings of certain players’ names (Jimmie/Jimmy Foxx, Lew/Lou Burdette, Satchel/Satchell Paige and Dick/Richie Allen, e.g.) used by the card companies.

325. Wesparkerization (or Wesparkered)
How the clumsy presence of some random player in an action shot greatly distracts or partially blocks the viewer from seeing the player whose card it actually is.

See also: Co-Stargazing - excitedly looking at the all-time great hidden in plain sight amid the game action on another player’s card.

326. Banalogous
The nonsensical listing price of an ungraded card at the going market rate (or more) of what a graded version of the same card sells for in the ‘same’ shape.

327. Doubtspoken (informal)
When a member starts a thread asking if the card he’s looking at is authentic, but his wording either hints at or directly states that he does not think it is, in fact, genuine.

See also: Grabbergasted - the reaction to finding out the card you were so happy to acquire is a fake.

See also: Trympathy - the feeling of sadness felt for someone who got screwed over by someone selling a doctored card.

See also: Shedical School - where card doctors are trained in the trimming arts.

328. Tax Player
The IRS be damned, April 15 will always be remembered as the day Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.

See also: Buyjacking - the criminally high prices which put virtually every Jackie Robinson card out of the reach of everyday collectors.

329. Keds Pox
The extreme corner and edge wear, creases and overall dilapidation caused by loose cards jostling around in a shoebox for long periods of time.

See also: Discardboard - the random stacks of old, round-cornered, ‘worthless’ cards in bad-shape that every collector has strewn about.

330. Swappraisal (also Barterback)
The short postscript added to a card to reflect the player had been traded in the off-season.

See also: Misuniformed - the confusion of kids opening packs and wondering why the guy is shown on his old team.

331. Pitchcraft
The belief that some Hall of Fame hurlers relied on the sorcery of doctored baseballs to pave their way into Cooperstown.

332. Amissfit
Seeing an old league leaders card that includes a (to you) completely unknown/’undeserving’ player on it.

See also: Whiffraff - the non-superstars appearing on strikeout leaders cards.

See also: Gawk-On Player - when you can’t help but stare with bewilderment and say, “How in heck did this guy get on here?! What kind of season did he have??”

See also: Presidekick - when this scrub player actually occupies the top spot on said leaders card.

333. Agonull Set
A baseball card offering which includes one or more unnumbered cards, leaving a collector to angrily exclaim, “How in heck will I ever know if I have a complete set??!!”

334. Stack Wounds (also Pile Scars)
The squeezed gouges in the sides of cards that resulted from being bundeled together and kept tightly wrapped in rubber bands by kids.

See also: Notchos (slang) - cards having this type of damage.

See also: Cross Glitching - the marks caused by rubber bands being stretched both vertically and horizontally around piles of cards.

See also: Elastigmata - when these types of grooves are present on a hallowed, big money card.

335. Bumper Card (also Maraca)
A graded card that is swimming so much in its holder that any movement of said holder causes an audible carom.

336. Kintimidation
(Cue the portentous music...) Always having to sleep with one eye firmly open, because it’s becoming more and more apparent that your wife and kids know EXACTLY how much of a gold mine your collection has become.



“Are you police?”
“No ma’am, we're card collectors.”



I got my first real keyboard
Bought it at the emporium
Typed on it 'til my fingers* bled
Was the summer of '21...


*Only on my left hand, because my right arm has been immobilized for a month and a half following surgery.


I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VII (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #400 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

Anyone reading this post needs to be wearing a mask. For entertainment purposes only. Anyone being offended should consult a physician. All demonstrations by professional drivers were executed on closed courses - please do not attempt at home. Give your children a hug tonight, and best of luck.


Hey, Wang! What's with the pictures? It's a website. Come on, will ya? Start reading...


337. Dishonus Wagner
The trimmed T206 Honus Wagner with serial #00000001 (the so-called ‘Gretzky/McNall Wagner’) that was the very first card to be graded by PSA.

See also: Wags Hag - anyone who uses a picture of this card as a metaphor for PSA’s ineptitude.

338. Murderer’s D'oh!
Finding out you’ve been deceived and fleeced by someone selling a reprinted card or counterfeit piece of late-1920’s Yankees memorabilia.

339. Scanchovies
The little scraps and specks of dust, dross, hair and whatnot that sit ‘on top’ of a card in a scan.

340. North Pull
The card situated on the top of an unopened pack of cards.

See also: South Pull - the card situated on the bottom of an unopened pack.

See also: Gummi Pairs - the cards (and/or inserts) in a pack that the stick of gum is/was sandwiched between.

341. Sharepopper
A person who organizes, runs and looks after a group submission to a third party grader.

342. Glitter Critter
An avid collector of modern cards.

343. Shine Swine
Disreputable sellers who are listing modern cards at just plainly extortionate prices.

344. Raison d'nêtre (Fr.)
Whether it’s for camaraderie, the free marketplace to peddle your cards, or just to continually start arguments with other members, the essential, defining reason that each of us is a net54 member to begin with.

345. Sleight of Brand
The trickery of adding “Not PSA” to an eBay listing of a card graded by a different company, so you can reap the rewards of people including “PSA” in their searches, and get your auction viewed by a helluva lot more people.

346. Scrounge Lizard (also Molehiller)
Someone who purposely keeps inventing and carping about tiny, inconsequential imperfections in a card you’re trying to sell in an obnoxious attempt to force you to lower your price significantly.

347. Kvetch-22
The principle that the people who bitterly complain the most about PSA’s horrific business practices are the same ones who gladly keep sending in more cards to be graded, because PSA slabs deliver the highest sales prices.

See also: “Hegemony Crickets!” - an expression referring to the metaphorical sound of silence as the venerated PSA refuses to ever address even a single one of the countless accusations of malfeasance made against them.

348. Pentourage
The insignificant autographs that appear on a multi-signed piece that surround (and let’s face it, ruin) the signature of a coveted, highly collectible player.

349. Scrawl Revere
A very precious, extremely valuable, and/or rarely seen player’s autograph.

350. Scribble Squabble
A disagreement over whether or not an autograph is authentic.

351. The Math of Con
An exorbitantly-priced card on eBay that now has an eye-catching ‘slashed price’ graphic with “12% OFF” added to it, as if that tiny bit of money ‘saved’ would in any way, shape or form make a difference.

352. Wiltwashed
When a seller lists the 1969 Topps Wilt Chamberlain as his rookie card, as if the cards Fleer issued almost a decade earlier somehow do not count.

353. Strophanger (also Ginsu Gus)
Anyone who uses the term “Razor Sharp!!” in an auction listing.

See also: Texthibitionist - an eBayer using “FLASH SALE!” in their listing.

See also: Empty Bindering - a seller using “Set Break” when they’re only auctioning off one or two cards from the set.

See also: Bodybilker - an eBayer coyly trying to greatly enhance the value of the card he’s selling by stating, “Strong for the grade!!”

See also: Doing the Lindy - a seller exclaiming how a card is the player’s “First Solo Card!”

354. “Sorry, Wrong Lumber.”
The polite way an expert on the site definitively tells you the supposed ‘gamer’ bat you’re asking about was in no way ever owned or used by the player in question.

See also: Sears Noebucks - when the bat turns out to be nothing but a ‘worthless’ store model.

355. Apexpat Predator
A collector living in a foreign country who has seemingly cornered a niche of the card market due to local interest (or lack thereof) being vastly different over there.

356. Past Sales Irrelevancy
The fact that you can quote the prices of past sales of a card until you’re blue in the face, but the reality is it doesn’t matter. Whatever the lowest price on eBay is for that same card in the same shape at this moment is truly what it is now ‘worth.’

See also: Highpay Snobbery - when someone tells you, “Your price of $500 is too high for this card. The last sales were only $290 and $325,” and you respond, “True, but the only one available on eBay is for $650, so either pay my price or hit the bricks, buddy.”

357. Vice Reversa (also Slipupside Down)
A horizontally oriented card that was accidentally placed in the slab the wrong way (and doesn’t correspond to how all of the other horizontal ones from the set are encapsulated) by the grading company.

358. Departicipation Trophy
That one thing you finally buy on your way out the door of a card show, just so you can say at least you picked up something at the event.

359. Wadvice
A thread stating you have a large amount of money to spend on a card, and you want members to specifically tell you what you should buy.

360. Blabbergasted
When someone makes a point of stating in a bustling thread, “I’m really surprised no one has mentioned (add name here) yet”...instead of (here’s an idea) just writing about that player yourself!

361. Hologramps
Any vintage collector who glances at a show table brimming with modern cards and immediately passes it by.

See also: Sonshine - remarking how, unlike you, your kid is into all the modern shiny stuff.

362. Rank-Spanking
Beating out a rival from the registry in an auction for a tough, high-grade card you both need.

363. Psachotherapy (also Modus Poperandi)
The fruitless undertaking of trying to understand the methodology involved in the TPG giving your card the grade it received.

364. Source Sense
The acumen developed over time and used by experienced collectors of photographs to tell you what you have (or have not) got based on the markings, writings and stamps on back.

365. Woo-Hoo Hounds
A card showing the random mix of teammates and coaches during the drunken locker room aftermath of a world series victory.

See also: Wrong Johns - when the half-dressed, champagne-soaked group of celebrants on the card are all scrubs, and not the team’s superstars.

See also: Randumfounded - having no clue who any of the players taking part in the chaotic revelry are.

See also: Shindignitary - when a superstar or Hall of Famer is readily visible on the card.

366. Stickstacking
Rifling through your piles of empty toploaders, trying to find a single clean one that’s free of tape residue and not stuck to other ones.

367. Fanguage (also Batois)
The dialect or ‘secret language’ (including terms, expressions, references to past players or glories, local towns and landmarks, etc.) of a fan base that is regularly used while talking about their beloved (or sometimes despised) team.

See also: Fansplaining - interpreting or teaching this lingo to an outsider.

368. Discompopulation
The fact that certain sets don’t have complete and meaningful population data due to PSA’s adjusted itemizing practices over time. Some notable examples being the 1962 regular and ‘green tint’ cards weren’t always counted as separate entities, and specific tobacco card backs weren’t always listed separately.

369. Double Schleopardy
When someone is being an argumentative d-bag in two different threads at the same time.

370. Regresstimate
When additional information (such as an unseen wrinkle or slight paper loss) comes to light about the card in a ‘guess the grade’ thread, and you have to reassess and lower your numerical prediction.

371. Edge Clippers
Kids who cut down larger cards back in the day to make them match the ‘new,’ standardized size of Topps cards.

See also: Reteamption (or Overclubbing) - an old card that has a traded player’s ‘new at the time,’ correct team written on it decades ago by a kid.

372. Pastronaut (also Hindsightseer)
Anyone who gets involved in the meaningless, theoretical argument of whether or not the all-time great players from the early 1900’s would be able to thrive in the modern era.

See also: Spew Colors - the ploy, yet again, of a self-important member who pompously thinks he wins the argument by pointing out how the great players of pre-1947 baseball never had to face any ballplayers of color, as if he’s saying something every single human being doesn’t already know.

See also: Faroffsighted - having such a love for the old time players, while knowing nearly nothing about what’s going on in the current game.

373. Plotonic
Reading a thread that, based on the title, is surely going to be another ranting disparagement of a seller or an auction house...only to find that no, in a plot twist no one saw coming, it’s one that actually affectionately praises them!!

374. Swashbackler
An avid enthusiast and collector of tobacco card backs.

375. Swingcognito (also Action Disfigure)
A Bobble Head or Starting Lineup that, if it didn’t have the player’s name displayed right on the front of it, you wouldn’t have a freaking clue who it was supposed to be.

See also: Plackadaisical - when you see the bronze plaques of certain Hall of Famers that are so awful looking, it seems as if the artists didn’t put any effort at all into creating the supposed likenesses.

376. Shred Man’s Hand
Cards that have obviously been trimmed (and doctored) to end up graded as PSA 8’s, when in reality they are nothing more than PSA 1’s.

377. Guffaw Poll (also Whoa! of Hands)
Seeing the numbers of a poll you participated in, and not understanding how in heck the people here could’ve possibly voted the way they did.

378. Err Quotes
A snarky member who quotes only a tiny portion of someone’s post, so they can take exception to it while ignoring the overall intent of said post.

379. Hocus Croakus
The supernaturally magical rise in demand of a player’s cards the moment he passes away.

380. Vexed to Last
When you still can’t afford to buy either of the final two cards needed to complete a set.

See also: Penultimuthah F*cker!!! - the scream coming out of anyone whose last two cards needed to finish the 1967 Topps set are the high numbered Rod Carew and Tom Seaver rookie cards.

See also: “Can't Set There From Here” - the way a southerner tells you you’ll never be able to complete a certain baseball card set.

381. Uppermohst
The position that a piece of Topps gum from a pack of baseball cards occupies on the hardness scale.

See also: Eschewing Glum - the feeling of disappointment the day Topps decided to stop including sticks of gum in trading card packs.

382. Greed Cavity (also Lacktivity)
That curiously empty space in front of a table at a very crowded, busy show that tells the observer the seller’s asking prices are just too exhorbitantly high for anyone to bother with.

383. Scantortionist
When a seller has obviously and deceptively photoshopped an image to make a card appear to be in much better shape than it really is, but an apologist jumps in to argue, “No, it’s just because of the scanner settings used.”

See also: Fapologist - someone who’s always such a vigorous defender of a bad apple in the hobby, that you know he’s looking at photos of that guy during his private ‘self-entertainment’ activities.

384. Poison Woke
An irritating post by a pea-brain who feels the need to purposely inject his pathetic ‘wokeness’ into a thread, when it has no business being there.

385. Endrunaissance
The start of the exciting new era when Fleer and Donruss were finally able to get around all of the Topps roadblocks and start widely distributing their new sets of cards.

386. Pathogenuine
A card that infuriates you, because without warning it came back as ‘Authentic Altered.’

387. Grintruders (also Sleepwalk-Ons)
Traveling secretaries, equipment managers and other randos who appear on team cards to fill some spaces.

388. “Of all the card joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine.”
The plaintive grumble issued by a seller when he catches a glimpse of a card show attendee who he’s had bad dealings with in the past.

389. Snake Belly
An off-centered card where the image is nearly falling off the bottom edge.

See also: Ceiling Fan - an off-centered card where the image is pushed up toward the top edge.

See also: Minor’easter - a card that is slightly off centered, pushed a little toward the bottom left corner.

See also: Leanness De Milo - a card that has undoubtedly been trimmed on the sides.

390. Biñata
The large plastic storage container at a show that is packed with inexpensive cards (which aren’t in toploaders) that are quickly getting destroyed by all the grubby hands rifling through them.

391. Bumping Off Point
The minimum increase in grade your card would need to receive in order to make a resubmission financially worthwhile.

See also: Resubmitzvah - cracking a card out of its slab, resubmitting it to the TPG and feeling blessed by the new, higher number it received.

392. Huebie Doo
Someone who is able to conclusively solve the mystery and tell you the card you’re asking about is real or fake, based solely on the colors and tones in play.

393. Gettysburger
Any card having an SGC 80 (“four score”) grade on the label.
Also used in some circles to indicate a grand slam home run.

394. Shamnesia
Accidentally buying a card from an absolutely disreputable seller who has been exposed time and time again, because you didn’t realize or forgot it was this seller.

395. Shillicon Tally
When a member outlines specifically how an expensive auction price was nefariously run up by conspirators.

396. Nonbindary
A collector who isn’t interested in completing full sets.

See also: Teamophiliac - a person whose collection is centered around grabbing cards from only one particular club.

397. Relish You Were Here (informal)
A thread where a member posts that he’s done being a member of net54, but you know damn well he’s going to quickly return to the thread to enthusiastically count the number of people imploring him to stay.

398. Winstability
When you enter a bid with only moments to go and the screen tells you you’re the high bidder...but there’s a few seconds left and you stare at the screen (even AFTER the auction ends) wondering if that’s going to suddenly change.

399. Choptimist
A person who while watching a video of an enthusiastic ‘rack pack rip’ harbors a secret desire for the guy to accidentally damage the cards or cut his finger as he wields the sharp scissors.

400. Hemingwaste
Someone writing a long, rambling, in-depth post who actually thinks he’s adding all sorts of insight to the thread, but when you’re done with it you realize, ”That’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”

401. FlipperSwiffer
A person getting a long-ago graded card reholdered in a clean new slab, for the express purpose of tricking potential buyers into thinking it was newly graded under ‘stricter’ guidelines.

402. Trademarquee
The large, unavoidable presence that the multiple branding imprints on modern cards have become, as all the TM and © symbols are impossible to ignore.

403. Rants in Your Pants
A member who seemingly out of nowhere starts bitterly complaining about someone or something.

404. Amelia Snarehart
Seeing a great card at a great price on eBay, so you immediately click ‘buy it now’...but as the page loads, it suddenly says “This listing has ended.” and you realize someone else swooped in and grabbed it...and this wondrous card has vanished right before your very eyes!!!

405. Pink Eye Appeal (or Eye Appall)
A card that a seller touts as having “Great eye appeal!!,” when everyone can plainly see it most certainly does not.

See also: Iconjunctivitis - a Hall of Famer card that sadly has really bad eye appeal.

406. Crow-tahni
A collector who loves talking up how Shohei Ohtani is the best thing since sliced bread.

See also: Dough-tahni - an optimistic collector who is extremely bullish on Shohei Ohtani, and is investing big time in his cards.

See also: Woe-tahni - a pessimistic collector who has no doubt that be it an injury or otherwise, Shohei Ohtani is headed for a big downfall.

See also: Yenigma - the odd status that the 1965 Topps #282 Masanori Murakami rookie card enjoys due to him being the first Japanese player to play for a Major League Baseball team.

407. Hit By Q-Pid’s Arrow
The newfound desire for cards with qualifiers in the current boom market, as they are now regularly selling for much larger sums than ever before.

See also: Flippery Slope - seeing all of the problems to come now that PSA has unilaterally decided to stop using qualifiers when grading cards.

408. Sniper Rash
The bitter irritation you feel after waking to find your sniping app failed to place your bids last night.

See also: GrabHub - any sniping tool app.

409. Grumballyhoo (also Grail Fraud)
Not understanding the unbridled adoration and enthusiasm for a certain set that is cherished by so many collectors, when you have no problem saying that it absolutely sucks.

410. Fold Blooded
A seller who doesn’t consider an obviously bent corner to be a crease or a wrinkle.

411. Remissing Link
When you run across a card on eBay that you’ve somehow never seen before...but it comes from a set you are highly familiar with.

412. Twerp Walk
When the feds make an arrest during the National and haul the miserable miscreant out in front of everyone.

413. Covidiocy
The newly emerged collecting ‘disease’ that has so insidiously infected the hobby, that reasonably affordable purchases for lifelong collectors have now become a thing of the past.


“Collecting isn't a word. It's a sentence”

I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VIII (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #424 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

Don't mind that the world is falling to pieces around us. Avoid extreme temperatures and store this thread in a cool dry place. Caution: May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness or blurred vision. Yes, you will unquestionablysee yourself in this post


Yes, I am serious. And don't call me Shirley...


414. Shagtagged (also Extreme Forsakeover)
A card that has been ruined by someone drawing facial hair on the player.

See also: Abehorrent - when it’s just a beard that was scribbled on the card.

See also: Shorn Again - having to find an unmarked card for your set to replace the defaced one with the ersatz whiskers.

See also: Autograffiti - how a kid back in the day added his own handwritten version of the player’s signature to the front of a card.

415. Toppspoil (also Fanaticks)
The companies currently engaged in sucking the lifeblood out of the revered Topps Chewing Gum Company.

See also: Autoppsy - the various opinions of what led to the figurative death of the company.

416. Besmirchants
The oft-mentioned, high profile card peddlers that every single one of us knows deserve every last bit of crap that gets thrown at them.

See also: Ignoraphobia - the righteousness keeping good people from ever spending a dime with these filthy dealers.

See also: Snubmariner - a person whose eBay searches use the “Exclude” feature to simply cruise by all of those sellers’ offerings.

See also: Appease Artist - someone who has no problem purchasing cards from these guys.

417. Hostile Lurk Environment
When someone who hasn’t posted much at all suddenly starts appearing in multiple threads, throwing his outspoken opinions around.

418. Manurefracturers
Any of the card companies producing ornamentally elaborate modern day cards.

419. Hobbehemoths
All of the larger than life personalities who have been, for good or bad, illustrious presences in this hobby of ours over the years.

420. Mullman
A person who contacts you about a card you have available, and after you answer all of his questions, leaves you in limbo as he takes his own sweet time thinking the deal over.

421. Shrillenium
The growing anger that accompanies the continuously prolonged amount of time it takes for cards to finally come back from the grading company.

422. Mourning Track Power
Buying up cards of a very old former player, for the sole purpose of selling them at exorbitant prices on the gigantic bubble that will surely come after he passes away.

423. Burdiction
The terminology and catalogue vernacular developed by Jefferson Burdick.

See also: Songburdick (or ManiACC) - a fan singing the praises of Jefferson Burdick’s work on The American Card Catalog.

424. Scorched Mirth
A welcome and unexpected post in the middle of a very contentious thread which suddenly provides comic relief and brings smiles to people’s faces.

See also: Laftereffects - when other people follow suit and keep the light-hearted vibe going to ease the tension.

425. Second Scoregage
Spending a huge amount of money on a card, but feeling justified for the outlay, because you got a great deal on it.

426. Ruethanasia (informal)
The lamentable point you reach where a card is in such bad shape that you have no other option but to just throw it in the garbage and end the misery.

427. One-Way Streep (also Quid Pro Blo)
When a trader puts on a big performance trying to convince you you’re getting the better end of the deal he’s proposing...when it so obviously only favors him.

428. Ineleglance
A multi-player card where one of the subjects is plainly looking somewhere other than into the camera.

See also: Say Geez!! - the annoying reaction to seeing such a card and wishing the photographer had taken a ‘correct’ shot.

429. Texas Foilman
A fan of Curt Flood’s prominent role in the game-changing fight against baseball's reserve clause.

430. Looze Cruise
Eagerly traveling a long way to meet up with someone who’s selling a card or collection, but realizing upon finally seeing it in person that it’s nothing like it was ‘supposed’ to be.

431. Transbender
When a seller identifies a card as having “no creasing or wrinkles” in his post, but the shadows/reflections or other topography in the picture clearly indicates the presence of ripples.

432. First Come, First Verve
Although rookie cards were printed in the ‘same’ numbers as all of the other cards of a player during his career, the demand (and enthusiasm) for them is always exponentially greater.

433. Elmer Fuddy Duddy
Anyone who muses that ‘the thrill is in the chase,’ because what’s the point of anything if you never actually get the thing you’ve been hunting for forever?

434. Twofervor
The adoration of tobacco cards having parts of multiple names showing on top and bottom.

435. Mockpocket (slang)
That tauntingly disappointing empty space in your binder page representing a card you still don’t have for your set.

436. Chick Swing
That moment in adolescence when your focus suddenly changed from collecting baseball cards to going after girls.

437. Wear Freshener
Relatively non-controversial things (like soaking or removing stuck-on paper or album remnants) done to improve the look of a card.

438. Surrogreat (also Pinch Fitter)
The printout, photocopy or reprint of an expensive star card that you put in the pocket of your set binder in place of the original, which is kept safely stored elsewhere.

See also: Relief Picture - when the player on the card in question is a Hall of Fame pitcher.

439. The Ole Hunt n’ Grunt
The dedicated effort, rife with disappointment, of sitting down at a show and methodically going through the dealers’ 800 count boxes card by card, trying to track down ones in the right shape to fill holes in your sets.

440. Lackilles Heel
That card you can’t help but always search for, although you don’t believe for a moment you’ll ever find it.

441. Pre-Warbitrage
The simple fact that for countless reasons, the exact same tobacco card is worth greatly different amounts to different people at the same time.

442. Jumping the Won
Someone excitedly posting pics of a great new pickup BEFORE he actually has the card in hand.

443. Banarchist
A person who demands that players from long ago, as well as other issues, be judged based on present-day ‘outrages.’

444. Cowpie in the Sky
When you find out that the newfound card (or piece of memorabilia) you were very hopeful about is nothing more than a fantasy piece.

445. Discoverses
The wonderful stories recounting how you were able to land a card you are extremely happy to own.

See also: Passoverses - a sad narrative detailing a failed attempt to obtain a card you really, truly wanted.

446. Heard Mentality
The simple hobby 'facts' that may or may not be true, but which have always been accepted due to the constant retelling of them.




"Most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling, the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm collecting."

I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part IX (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)

***ALERT!!!!!!*** This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #457 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here. Life is short, so grab the giggles while you still can!

This is a work of fiction, grammar Nazis, so if I wanted to write "raquelwelchisthehottestpieceofassinhistory" and use it as a verb, I could. Will most surely induce vomiting. Masks must be worn at all times while reading this. Please stand six feet back from your phone or computer, or you'll be sent away to a COVID re-education camp. No polar ice caps were affected while writing this post.


"I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life collecting cards, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible..."



447. Exgilaration (usually followed by a slew of exclamation points)
The unbounded thrill of Brooklyn Dodgers fans (or their now-middle-aged children) who have waited a lifetime to finally see Gil Hodges voted into the Hall of Fame.

See also: Olivator Shaft - The regret of missing out on picking up Tony Oliva cards cheaply, before the Hall of Fame vote caused a surge in pricing.

See also: Oliva Oil - the newly discovered and suddenly more valuable Tony Oliva cards found in your doubles or commons boxes.

See also: Kaaticombs - the recesses that you crawl through in your search for the hidden-away boxes that may contain old Jim Kaat cards.

448. Miyagi
A card with gum or wax residue on front that has turned nasty-looking over time, but you know it can be easily ‘waxed off.’

449. Protractivity
Posting a ‘for sale’ thread which is hardly getting any views...but once the card is gone and you change the title to include the word “SOLD,” the number of views suddenly surges upward.

See also: Sigh-onara - seeing “SOLD” next to a card you would have immediately jumped at had you seen it in time.

450. Bereaven-Steven
A trade made that includes you sadly parting ways with a card that you really wanted to hold onto.

451. Horizertical
The non-specific corner orientation of horizontal cards. If someone directs you to, say, a team card’s bottom right corner, does he mean the lower right corner when the card is positioned as it was meant to be looked at, or is he referring to the lower right corner as it sits vertically inside of a slab?

452. Up Slit’s Creek
The delicate, no-margin-for-error process of trying to successfully slide a card into a tight-fitting penny sleeve without chipping the card.

453. Swifteen Minutes (also No Maas)
The abbreviated time that the hot cards of rookies taking the baseball world by storm enjoy the limelight...before they inevitably drop off the face of the earth.

454. Mocknee Accent
The curious inclusion of the photographer’s leg in the picture on Dick Allen’s 1971 Topps card.

See also: Massachusetts Blobster Roll - the 1959 Fleer Ted Williams #34 “1947 - Ted Sets Runs-Scored Record” card.

See also: Say-Hey Crud - the oft-ridiculed fact that Topps surreptitiously snuck a sliding Willie Mays into Hank Aaron’s 1956 card.

455. Scheduality
The odd occurrence when both last month’s and this month’s ‘New Pickups’ threads are both active at the same time.

See also: Last Monther - someone who feels the need to explain that although he’s posting in the new pickups thread, he actually bought the card during the previous month.

456. Climbs Disease
The affliction of continually needing to upgrade your cards to higher slab numbers.

457. “Ashes to Ashes, Cardboard to Cardboard”
The depressing realization that at some point each of us is going to unknowingly be eligible for a “Sad News - (Your Name Here)” thread.

458. Signfailed (followed by the obligatory lip pops, tongue noises and other “organic human sounds” as a lead-in...)
A (theoretical?) thread centered around whether or not a vintage sign or advertisement piece is authentic.

See also: Jerrymanderer - a person starting this sort of thread who really works hard to persuade people to get on his side and agree with his conclusions.

See also: New, Man! - an annoying person who only shows up to exclaim it is nothing but a modern day creation or reproduction.

See also: George Bonanza - a member who is convinced it is the real thing and tells you so.

See also: George Lowcostanza - someone who doesn’t have a lot of faith in the piece and advises you to only buy it if it’s extremely cheap.

See also: Art Vandewayoff - anyone who doesn’t mince words and tells you it’s as fake as fake can be.

See also: Swoop Nazi - someone trying to beat everyone else to the punch by sending the OP messages with offers to buy the piece, because he’s convinced it’s real.

See also: Diskramer - a cautious person who feels it very well may be legitimate, but won’t fully commit until more evidence is provided.

See also: Elaincet (or Oppose Talker) - somebody poking holes in other people’s claims of authenticity or inauthenticity.

See also: Mockinaw Peaches - posts telling the OP there is no way in heck the piece is real, but said in an ostensibly sweet way.

See also: Babu Bhattshittcrazy (or Kenny Banyapper) - somebody who spouts all sorts of things that he thinks are relevant, but no one has any idea what he’s talking about.

See also: Sue Ellen Mischmaschke - someone who not only offers information pointing to it being legitimate, but at the same time also states reasons that might make it a fake.

See also: Anti-Dendrite (or Tim Whatleech) - someone who, for selfish reasons, hopes the thread doesn’t continue to branch outward and get exposed to other potential buyers.

See also: "J." Petermanifesto (or Bob Sacamaniacal) - a guy who takes no prisoners and goes on and on in letting everyone know that his opinion as to authenticity is the only one that matters.

See also: Scoffee Shop - the state the thread reaches as it begins to move away from a pursuit of information and degenerates into an insult fest.

See also: Viewer Shrinkage - as the thread devolves into nothing but a nasty argument, fewer and fewer members regularly check in for updates.

See also: Uncle Brio - somebody without an opinion of whether or not it is legitimate, but saying how awesome of a find it is.

See also: Lloyd Braunnoser - a person trying to get on the OP’s good side, hoping it’ll increase his chances of getting the piece off of him.

See also: Re-Grifter - someone who is certain it’s a fabrication, but wants to buy it cheaply so he can sell it elsewhere as ‘real’ and make a huge profit.

See also: The Bubble-Burst Boy - a guy who offers ‘drop the mic’ proof that the piece is indeed a fake.

459. Flipreader
Someone who’s able to tell you what year a card was graded by examining the layout, typeface, cert number, and other information found on the slab.

460. Plastic Cageism
The bias associated with the older, cheap looking PSA labels which causes the cards housed within them to sell for less than their newer counterparts.

461. Shirtchanged (also Alley-Oops-a-Daisy)
The bizarre practice of Topps showing basketball players with their uniform tops on backwards, so their last names were visible.

See also: Jerseething - the weird annoyance at seeing such cards.

462. Thingamajignorant
When you don’t know what the various types of baseball card supplies - like penny sleeves, toploaders, snaptites, pocket pages, screw downs, corrugated boxes, team bags, etc. - are specifically called.

463. Slab Blind
Being so enthralled and focused on the beauty of a card that you don’t even notice the blatant damage and/or blemishes, like cracks or frosting, on the case itself.

464. Ōm Plate
The fact that looking through your baseball card collection will always give you the feeling of peace and serenity you’re craving at that moment.

See also: Winner Sanctum - the blessed feeling of joy as you sit alone in a comfy chair admiring your fantastic new auction pick-up.

465. Mold Gold (also Wönderbond (Ger.))
The various sets of cards issued by bread companies.

See also: Flourdough - a seriously valuable bread company card.

See also: Bond Bombshell - any newfound information that helps advance our knowledge of the prized, late-40’s Jackie Robinson set.

466. Vignorance (also Semantax)
The realization that after agreeing on a price for a card at a show, the ‘real’ price turns out to be completely different, because taxes and fees had to be added due to the use of a credit card.

467. Back Roads Scholar
Someone who enjoys researching, discussing and seeking to visit the former sites of long forgotten baseball stadiums.

468. Scanicure
The slow, gentle pushing of your fingernail into the side of a card to get a lift and remove it from the static cling of the scanner bed without causing any damage to it.

See also: Axtraction - when pushing your fingernail too hard into the side of a card causes chipping or makes the layers of cardboard separate.

469. Double-Edder
The inescapable inclination to accidentally say “Eddie Murphy” when meaning to say “Eddie Murray.”

470. Shoddy Doubles
Having two of each of the checklists when building a set - one to be marked up and used as an actual checklist, and the other to be left unblemished for posterity.

471. Doubt of Focus
Not being able to decipher which of the jumble of helmeted players in the action shot on a football card is the player whose card it is.

See also: Bailoutfit - by looking at the team name on the card, you can match up the color of the uniform in the photo to zero in on the correct player.

472. Augmensch
Someone who is able to add all sorts of extra enjoyment to a card by relating background stories or bits of trivia about the player or the card itself.

473. Buyerarchy
The order in which each individual collector personally places each of the fundamental card assessment elements - centering, corners, image clarity, print quality, etc. - from most important to least important, when purchasing cards.

474. Sword of Damosleaze (myth.)
The fear and anxiety that looms over every seller who sends cards through the mail to winning bidders, never being safe from a shyster pulling an ‘although the tracking says it arrived, it didn’t’ or ‘the card arrived damaged’ scam.

475. Battrition
The sad fact that the dais at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony has fewer and fewer all-time greats on it each year.

See also: Pinchtributor - a relative of a deceased enshrinee who takes the stage to give the Hall of Fame acceptance speech.

476. Shortslighted
The frustrated realization that until you had the card in hand, you didn’t know the 1975 Topps you bought was actually a 1975 Topps Mini.

See also: Double-Shorted - how expensive the 1975 Brett, Yount, Rice and Carter cards become for HOF rookie card collectors, since you have to buy two of each, a regular and a mini.

See also: Smallevolence (or Minipulator) - a seller purposefully listing a card as a regular “1975 Topps,” and not as a “1975 Topps Mini.”

477. Shrugly Duckling
A card that turns out to be ‘not as described’ when you receive it, but since the price still works for the actual condition it is in, you decide it’s best to just keep it and avoid going through the hassle of seeking a refund.

478. “Loose Lips Sink Flips.”
The time honored maxim that it is best not to be too forthcoming in letting people know what hard-to-find cards you’re actively pursuing, because anyone having one of those cards will know they now have you over a barrel.

479. Double-Bummer
A low grade card that also has a qualifier on the label.

480. Fake Schmooze
Dealers at card shows who are obviously only being nice to you in an attempt to talk you into overpaying for something on their table.

481. Pollacrity
When people, instead of answering honestly, purposely vote a certain way in a poll just to be d-bags and mess up the results.

482. Loverturner (or Yupender)
Collectors who jubilantly flip a card over to read the back and look at the cartoon

See also: Learnover - finding interesting things on a back of a card that you hadn’t known before.

483. Mathematricks (or Laughtermath)
The purposeful use of only outlier data by someone trying to convince you that the card he is offering in a trade is equal to the high value card of yours he’s looking to score.

484. Quintuple Dribble
The astounding fact that the entire starting lineup pictured on 1972 and 1973 Topps New York Knicks cards are all Hall of Famers.

See also: Septuple Dribble - when the cards of Phil Jackson and Jerry Lucas are also included.

485. Grincomplete (also Shundamental)
Being completely satisfied in considering your set complete without ever worrying about trying to obtain any of the impossible-to-get cards like the T-206 “Big 4” or 1952 Topps high numbers.

See also: Basis Full - whether it’s the lack of high numbers, variations or other things, what each collector personally considers to be ‘close enough’ to a complete set for them individually.

See also: Reign of Error - knowing you’ll never be able to afford either of the T-206 Sherry “Magie” or Joe Doyle “N.Y. NAT’L” variations.

486. Shortwaives
Players who shoulda/coulda/woulda been Hall of Famers, but their careers were curtailed by serious injuries.

See also: Shortcrave - final career statistics aside, the belief that these superstars still deserve enshrinement based on their somewhat abbreviated accomplishments.

See also: Formattingly - any supporter of Donnie Baseball’s enshrinement.

See also: Balking Wounded - cards of football players who were ‘sure-fire’ Hall of Famers early on, but career ending/altering injuries forever derailed their enshrinement.

487. Minibum
Someone who knowingly sells trimmed cards.

See also: Rpoff Artist - a seller who either disguises the fact that a card is a reprint, or whose only reference to it being so is an easily-missed “RP” notation in the description.

488. Statistics Schmatistics
Being careful with what the figures actually tell you. For instance, a quarterback flipping the ball forward an inch to a player who takes it 99 yards to the house, gets credit for a 99 yard TD pass, and a can-of-corn out in one old baseball stadium would have been a home run in a different one.

489. Technicalithief (also Pinielling Lies (colloquialism))
A seller deceptively calling a card a rookie card (which it technically is), when the player’s actual rookie card was the one he was pictured on in a previous year.

See also: Enemasquerade - getting screwed over by not realizing that this card is a faux rookie card.

490. Tape Saint
Anyone who deliberately folds over the corner of the tape used to seal a toploader, so the person receiving the card can immediately open it without vainly scraping their fingernails across it trying to lift a corner.

See also: My Blue Tape Heaven - opening a mailer to see the sender used easily-removable painter’s tape to secure everything, and your immediate thought is, “This guy gets it.”



"Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a card collector."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 1 of 3 (Yes, I've developed enough material to turn this new section into a trilogy*...so stay tuned!!)

***ALERT!!!!!!*** This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #512 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here. Life sucks, so grab yourself some yuks!

This is a work of fiction. Do not read this post if you are currently taking a drug for depression. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Please do not eat the urinal cakes.


"Lord loves a working man, don’t trust Whitey (Ford)..."


*And like 'The Godfather' trilogy, you'll love some of it, hate some of it and will ultimately end up screaming, "When in high f*ck is this thing finally going to end???!!!!!!"



491. Cravin'-It Emptor
When your unbridled desire for a card causes you to be unaware of all of the red flags pointing to it being a scam.

492. Sacrificial Jam
Stuffing random cards you couldn’t care less about into each end of a vintage set box to act as a buffer and protect the ‘good’ cards from getting damaged.

493. Stampire
A tobacco card collector who preys on finding ones with specific stampings on them.

494. Leap Frauds
The hackers and scammers who continue to jump from one platform or account to another after being exposed time and time again.

See also: Whack-A-Troll - the endless pursuit of warning other collectors about new scam artists appearing on the scene.

See also: Scamster Wheel - the scumbag mindset of always searching for new and innovative ways to rip off people.

495. Schlock Photos
The generic, traditional poses used time and time again by Topps and other baseball card companies.

Flesh Rhombus
A pitcher with his hands and mitt above his head, elbows pointing outward, to mimic the start of a wind-up.

Grass Squat
A catcher devoid of equipment and nowhere near home plate, crouching down in the middle of the field to receive a pitch that will surely never come.

Stretch Strong-Arm
A pitcher who’s leaning far forward with his pitching hand outstretched, mimicking the end of his release.

See also: Sleepbalker - when the hurler, seemingly in a daze, is still firmly holding the ball in his outstretched hand.

See also: Bringing the Greet - when this pitcher is also smiling happily at the camera.

Batting Trance
An expressionless hitter forced to stand in the ‘ready’ position, looking at the camera with his bat up, waiting for a phantom pitch to come.

Longholler
A manager with his hand next to his mouth pretending to be shouting out instructions to his players.

Sir Lanceswat
A player majestically gripping his ‘wooden sword’ with two hands while directing it at, or in the general direction of, the camera, so it appears to be coming right at the viewer.

See also: Knights of Columberus - a group of these types of cards.

Moundticipation
A slightly crouched pitcher with his hand and mitt at the ready, apparently either waiting for the ball to be tossed back to him by the catcher or preparing to field a come-backer.

Hatless Couture
The standard close-up head shot of a player not wearing a cap, which purposely eliminates any hint of which team he plays for.

See also: Chinchilling - a closeup of a player casually looking skyward, chin jutting out with only the underside of his cap brim visible, so the team logo remains unseen and unknown.

Wadworker
A card showing the player with a huge gob of tobacco stuffed in his cheek.

See also: Chawtograph - any signed Nellie Fox card.

Foul Haul
An player with his mitt near the grass, pretending to backhand a non-existent ball while clearly standing in foul territory.

Crouch Potato
A hunched-over infielder looking at the camera with his hands and mitt primed to scoop up a grounder hit directly at him.

Knobster
The self-assured, ready for the coming fight pose of gripping the bat with two hands as it rests upon a shoulder, knob bottom facing the camera.

Gutclench
A hurler at a full stop in the ‘set’ position, hand grasping the ball inside of his mitt at his stomach, stoically looking off to read the catcher’s signs or slyly keep a runner in check.

496. Optimullet
A card that is optimally beautiful when looked at from the front, but when you flip it over there are significant problems on the back.

See also: Hind Thwarters - a visually gorgeous card in a slab that has a lower grade (or qualifier) based solely on an otherwise ‘unseen’ issue on the reverse.

See also: Stainted Love - a card that looks beautiful on front, but has a dark, egregious, unremovable gum stain on back.

497. Popanoia
The unshakeable feeling in your gut that the graders at any TPG literally don’t want your cards to receive high numbers.

498. Crumb-Drops
Anytime someone bumps a for sale thread with a declaration of “PRICE DROP,” when it’s nothing but a slight, insignificant reduction in price.

See also: Dropportunity (or Bump Jump) - when the latest lowered price on a card is finally attractive enough for you to pull the trigger.

See also: Flies on the Prize - the acute awareness that all sorts of other collectors are buzzing around, primed to zip in and beat you to it when the price drops to the right level.

See also: Slash Bash - a thread where the seller has a wide variety of cards listed and lowers the price on ‘everything that still remains.’

See also: Slabtain Obvious - if any graded card remains unsold in the B/S/T after a short while, it simply means the asking price doesn’t correspond closely enough to any recent sales price data.

499. James Banned
A collector of players who have been banished in some way from the major leagues or are otherwise found on baseball's ineligible list.

See also: Bitter Batter Bettor Barter (tongue twister) - any trade involving a Pete Rose card.

500. Tuxidermy
Any card sitting inside of an elegant, black and white SGC slab.

See also: Black Slab Affair - how exquisite a group of cards looks housed in these SGC holders.

501. Frontalbacks
Cards having wet sheet transfers on them.

502. Parkaeologist
Someone who is able to deftly analyze the visual clues hidden inside of a photograph to determine what old baseball stadium the picture was taken in.

See also: Circa-Catch - when said clues also indicate, within a close proximity, the year in which the photo was taken.

503. Jeepers Keepers
Having two of the same card, both having relatively minor, but different, flaws or drawbacks, and you go back and forth trying to decide which of the pair is the ‘better’ one to hold onto.

504. Redruelin’ (slang)
Memories of begging your dad to hit the gas station, even when the tank was full, because you were salivating over getting your hands on more of the football or hockey stamps they gave away free with each visit.

See also: Gas Brags - kids who pridefully showed off all of the service station stamps they were able to accumulate.

505. Buy Diver (also George Washington Conniver)
Economics 101 aside, someone who’s always listing cards at sky high prices, but when he contacts you about one of yours, he insists on getting it for mere peanuts.

506. Ghostboxed
Opening a newly delivered auction win, only to find you were presumably sent an empty package by the seller himself, because there is no evidence of tampering present anywhere on the mailer.

See also: Empty Jester - a seller who perpetrates such a fraud.

507. Valchemist
Someone trying to turn cardboard into gold by pricing an SGC or BVG card at the much higher value of what the same card with the same number would go for in a PSA holder.

508. Holigraze (also Thankstaking Feast)
The great purchases you’re able to make, because ‘no one’ else is paying attention to eBay that day due to it being a major holiday or some other attention-grabbing event or occurrence is taking place.

See also: “Auld Lang Mine!” - a seriously great pickup made on one of those days.

See also: Grafternoon Delight - feeling like you commited a crime, because you won a card at such a low price only because of the early, extremely-low-traffic time of day the auction ended.

509. CSI-Don’t-Think-So!
The shock of seeing an eBay seller wearing serious medical or museum curator quality gloves while holding the card in the auction pic, and immediately knowing this thing is gonna be way beyond your budget.

510. Packne Scar
When a supposedly reputable seller of unopened material’s reputation becomes sullied due to a highly visible mistake.

511. Evolutionary Cardwinism
The incrimental change in valuation from, say, a Hank Aaron card being worth, “My friend’ll give me three Mets for it! Dyn-o-mite!!!” when you were a kid, to putting it under a blacklight to root out any unseen flaws, using calipers to measure centering, and so on, to formulate a specific monetary dollar value for it today.

512. Puncertainty Principle
The fact that whenever a thread is meant to be, or turns out to be, humorous, one thing is undoubtable - as the witty remarks come, trite plays on words and double entendres will abound.

513. Wahoo-Turn
Trading for a Sam Crawford card.

See also: Love ‘em and Heave ‘em - a trade including a Paul Casanova or Ron Darling card.

514. Thievesdropping
Auctions employing deceptive tactics to meet hidden reserves.

515. Window Hopping
When you have nothing against a particular seller in the B/S/T, but you know everything he lists is very overpriced, so you just skip past his FS threads as you’re looking for cards to buy.

516. Ex-Postage-Facto
The listing of a single card for sale at, say, $50, then including at the very end of the post, “Add $4 shipping,” instead of just saying, “$54 Dlvd.” right at the top to begin with.

517. Slabbetizer
A card or autograph which has gotten a PSA ‘Quick Opinion’ or Beckett ‘Raw Card Review.’

518. Pokémonstrosity
The disappointment of walking into a baseball card show to find that 95% of the tables are hawking nothing but modern day items and non-sport cards.

See also: Pika-ching! - a quite valuable Pokémon card.

See also: Yenolds Rap - happily belting out the beats after you’ve ripped a pack and acquired a very pricey foil parallel card.

519. Fool’s Sold
Adding a new post to your own thread (that everyone is now forced to read) to declare that the card has been sold, instead of simply editing the title to reflect this fact.

520. Bickerton Annoyance Ratio (BAR)
A mathematical assessment of a net54 member’s overall nuisance factor, stated in the argument to post quotient of b = a ÷ r, wherein a = the total number of posts by a member in a single month that are argumentative, contrarian or otherwise negative, and r = the total number of all posts by said member in the month.

See also: Hyber (palatalization of “High BAR”) - anyone with a BAR that doesn’t have a minimum of one or two zeros to the immediate right of the decimal point.

See also: Flaming Snowball - like the proverbial snowball endlessly rolling down the hill, someone who never tires of being argumentative in seemingly every thread in which he appears.

See also: Reverse Avalanche - the people who plainly have had more than enough, and start loudly telling ‘Mr. Snowball’ to go back from whence he came.

521. Grody to the Packs! (informal)
A great enthusiasm for 1980’s-era junk wax.

See also: Hijunx - the sheer delight of ripping open any wax pack from any manufacturer from any year.

522. Moppetroglyphs
The random words, numbers, etc., written on a card by a kid back in the day.

See also: Boyjotting - attempting to decipher, when not readily apparent, the possible meaning of, or the reasoning behind, the specific scribblings on an old card you own.

See also: Defacelift - any attempt to remove ink or pencil marks from a card.

523. Rubicontract
The implied agreement that once the ‘official’ taped seal securing a card inside of a toploader is breached, any attempts to return the card to the seller for a refund are null and void.

524. Float Earthers
Rookie cards, leaders cards, or team cards that picture nothing but the disembodied heads of the players.

See also: Heliuminary - when one of these ‘hovering heads’ is an all-time great.

525. Auction Grouse
Anyone who rightfully badgers an auctioneer to take down a deceptively-listed item currently active and being bid on.

526. The Odes of March
Warm remembrances of your youthful self being all excited that winter was finally abating and the turning weather meant a new baseball season was on the horizon.

527. “You never walk into the same card show twice”
A time-honored expression marking the fact that the beloved hobby is and always will be in a perpetual state of change.

528. Killebrewmaster
An ardent collector of all things Harmon Killebrew.

529. Theoretical Bizz-Assist
Someone expressing their strong opinions on what exact changes must be made to a TPG’s business model to help right the ship.

530. Brandwagoner
A collector who suddenly becomes interested in the charms of an old set from a secondary manufacturer that other people have been marveling about forever.

531. A Life Sentence for Driving 56 MPH (metaphor)
The ludicrous assertion that the sins of players who completely ruined the very meaning of statistics due to a daily diet of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) are somehow comparable to players who popped stimulants in the old days.

532. Potato Sacker
An ardent collector of 1968 Topps cards.

See also: Burlapses - the empty spaces in the pages of your 1968 Topps set binder.

See also: Knit Captivating - Johnny Bench’s appearance on his rookie card.

533. Coroner’s Tablers
Fans of the cold, dull, gray 1970 Topps set.

534. Kiblitzer (yiddish)
Someone who seemingly has a front row seat to every thread in the B/S/T, and buys up everything before anyone else has a chance to even view it.

535. Primarinara
The extra ‘sauce’ of value that is associated with a card being numerically first in a set.

See also: Primarigold - one of these cherished cards that is in fantastic shape.

536. Coin Flakes
Any prized and valuable card that was originally found inside of, or printed on, a box of cereal.

See also: The Breakfast Snub (or “Snap, Crackle, Flop”) - the complete letdown of your young self digging through a box of Kellogg’s to get to the 3-D treasure at the bottom...only to find the card is a random player you’ve never heard of on a team you have no interest in.

537. Perfecstration
The irritation of trying to remove a newly delivered card from an overly snug ‘Perfect Fit’ sleeve without causing damage.

538. Zamcronies (also Wintree-Huggers)
Avid collectors of hockey cards and memorabilia.

See also: Smugshots - the smiling, toothless faces pictured on any vintage penalty minutes leaders hockey card.

539. Packwards
Describing a card that was never issued in packs as “Pack Fresh!”

See also: Fresh Cents - the use of “Freshly Graded!!” in a listing, in the strange hope that those words alone will help the card sell for more money.


End of section 1, so go take care of your St. Patty's Day hangover...


"When I buy a new set, I look at the last card first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 2 of 3


"I made him an offer on a card he couldn't refuse..."


540. Jiggle Junkie
A spirited collector of Jell-O cards and boxes.

See also: Dessert Chopping - any card cut from a Jell-O box.

See also: Snipped Cream - a valuable card cut from a Jell-O box.

See also: Wiggle Warrior - a person always in pursuit of advancing the collecting community’s knowledge and understanding of vintage Jell-O sets.

541. Gloatin’ Free
The showing off of great cards, not because of some self-serving ‘look at me’ mindset, but simply because you know other collectors really enjoy seeing them.

See also: Gemissary - a high-minded collector who derives great pleasure from seeing other people’s enjoyment of his rare ‘jewels.’

542. Tedhead
An enthusiastic collector, follower and enthusiast of all things Theodore Samuel Williams.

See also: Ted Honcho - any very rare or valuable Ted Williams card.

See also: Ted Fake - momentarily thinking you hit it big by scoring a 1959 Fleer Ted Williams #55 ‘1955 - Ted Decides Retirement Is “No Go”‘ card...until you realize that although Ted sits in street clothes at a table next to an executive with papers to sign, it is not the coveted #68 ‘Jan. 23, 1959 - Ted Signs For 1959’ card.

543. Quadroptics
The quick, involuntary way your eyes inspect a card by focusing first on a single corner area, then moving on to the next one as you go around the horn examining all four corners to make an overall assessment of the card’s condition.

See also: Bumper Snicker - the reaction to discovering three beautiful corners in a row, only to find the last one viewed is dinged, rounded or overly soft.

544. Lickety-Split Personality
Someone who puts a tremendous amount of importance on receiving his auction wins as quickly as humanly possible.

See also: Grab Lag - when checking on the delivery status of a card, and it continually says “SHIPPING LBL CREATED USPS AWAITS ITEM” and never seems to advance into the “USPS IN POSSESSION OF ITEM” phase.

545. Two-Card Garage
Any TPG slab that wasn’t created to specifically house a certain sized card, so it remains unsecured, sliding around inside of the expansive holder.

546. Amazenith
The ridiculous, over-the-top high prices of cards listed on Amazon.

547. “When I say bump, you say how many times!”
The seeming arrogance of members sending their threads to the top much too often for anyone’s liking.

548. Sourglow
When putting a card under a blacklight reveals hidden problems or evidence of doctoring that you were unaware of.

549. Kigh Anxiety
The distress felt by any well-versed baseball fan upon hearing Kiki Kuyler’s name once again being mispronounced.

550. Bad Breadth
A card notorious for ‘always’ being terribly off-centered to one particular side.

See also: East-Slider - one seemingly found 99% of the time with the image just about falling off the right side of the card.

See also: West-Slider - one seemingly found 99% of the time with the image just about falling off the left side of the card.

See also: The Overly Brothers - the other cards that shared the same row on the print sheet and sing from the same excessively off-centered songbook.

551. Undeadline
The continually reanimated ending time of an auction with “extended bidding” rules in play.

552. Backpedestaling
The act of quickly hiking the prices of cards to reflect the newfound status of an old ballplayer who has finally become a Hall of Famer, a marked change from him sitting in the ‘dollar box’ just a week earlier.

553. Flip Floptimistic
A person hoping the prices of the cards he wants to buy drop back down to pre-COVID levels, while also wishing the prices of the cards he wants to sell continue to rise exponentially.

See also: “The best day to sell your cards is yesterday.” (adage) - the unavoidable fact that when you finally decide to auction off your cards to take advantage of crazily high prices, the market will always drop the moment you list them.

554. Etchebarrened
The surprise of seeing a player on an old card wearing a uniform number that has been forever intrinsically linked to an all-time great who played for the team later on.

555. Boxymoron
The odd absurdity of blacking in the box on a checklist card which is the number of the very checklist card you are holding in your hand and marking.

556. Pacademic
An expert at identifying and categorizing vintage baseball card wax pack wrappers.

557. Niels Bohring
Anyone whose assessment of players from long ago is focused solely on cold, hard stats, while ignoring all of the non-tangible and emotional aspects of the game, like what their contemporaries said about them as players, teammates and rivals.

See also: Bay of Prigs - a group of such people.

558. Hubbug Out
Seeing a beautiful, newly listed card at such a great price that you’re basically knocking things over as your hand races to click on the auction and hit ‘Buy-It-Now’ before someone else beats you to it.

559. Joining Hate Watchers
Sitting on the couch, stuffing your face with junk food as you tune into a game for no other reason than to loudly root against the team and players who knocked your favorite team out of the playoffs.

See also: “The eliminator of my team’s eliminator is my friend” - no matter how much you despise a certain team, once they step up and defeat the squad who sent your team packing, you immediately give them a hearty thumbs up.

See also: Human Anti-Bradys - all of the people across the world who shout to the heavens year after year beseeching the gods to deliver Tom Brady a loss on Super Bowl Sunday.

See also: Winoculation - how some of the storied NFL franchises seem to have an immunity to becoming Super Bowl champions.

560. Ignormalcy
How placing the right member on your ‘ignore’ list returns a sense of harmony to the site and increases your enjoyment of it exponentially.

See also: Quotetails - when someone quotes one of those guys in their post, so you are forced to see whatever garbage is coming out of his keyboard now.

See also: Dismishugener (yid.) - the gumption of someone who is found on countless members’ ‘ignore’ lists talking about the members he himself put on his own ‘ignore’ list.

561. Wear is Over (If You Want it)
Since modern day pack rippers completely ignore everything but the ‘money’ cards, which are immediately put into protective toploaders or albums before quickly being sent off to be graded, there will never again be stacks of cards showing the traditional wear and tear from kids excitedly, repeatedly handling them.

See also: Packslabbing - removing new cards from packs and immediately getting them ready to be sent off for grading.

562. Chaperonus (more familiarly Chaperanus)
Someone who feels it’s his duty to constantly complain about threads that he alone feels are posted in the wrong sections.

563. Replicandy
The magnificent cards that you have multiple copies of.

564. Centerrifical Force
The way your eyes immediately tell you if a card is rightfully centered enough for you personally, independent of what other collectors or TPGs may think.

565. Teambiguous
Looking at a card where the player can be found as a member of one of two different clubs, but you can’t recall if the one you’re viewing is the prized variation or the ‘normal’ one.

566. Crock and Pull Story
Someone joyously posting a card in the new pickups thread with a story about how excited he is to finally have one and it took forever to finally pull the trigger, etc...then a few scant days go by and you see he has the card for sale in the B/S/T section.

567. Strike Hike
How a dealer insists on getting the much better end of whatever trade deal may be struck at a card show, and cites a litany of reasons for it, such as the cost of his table, he’s there to make a profit, etc.

See also: Trytanic - when your perceived ‘low ball’ offer on a tremendously overpriced card at a show is met with nothing but an icy stare of death from the dealer.

568. Upsidentical Twin
An otherwise high-grade card that has a small, but fatal, flaw (such as a pinhole or writing) that you grab, because the trade-off of paying just a fraction of the price of what one without such a defect costs is too good to pass up.

See also: Ninesense - smartly grabbing a high grade card with a qualifier, because the visual difference between it and a straight grade is minute enough that spending a crapload more on one without the qualifier would be idiotic.

569. Sugarcoaxing
The emerging practice of craftily listing a card on eBay at a low Buy-It-Now price to draw buyers in, only for them to discover that the ridiculously exorbitant shipping cost actually makes the final price higher than the ‘expensive’ listings of the same card.

See also: Ployboy - a seller who works this kind of scheme.

570. Brandy New Collector
Anyone who has returned to the hobby after a long time away and is so drunk with enthusiasm that he makes all sorts of rookie mistakes right out of the gate.

See also: Empty Feathering-the-Nester - someone who has cleared out his entire collection...only to suddenly find himself buying a coveted card and jumping right back into the collecting game again.

571. PTVSD (Post-Trade-Value Stress Disorder)
How a trade you made many years ago, which in the end proved to be a horrendously bad move, still haunts you to this very day.

572. Windy-Wendy
A San Francisco Giants enthusiast with a special affection for all things Candlestick Park.

See also: Fenwicked - for good or bad, any of the momentous baseball events that took place on Boston’s home turf.

See also: Soapbronxing - anyone expressing his undying adoration for the New York Yankees team or players.

573. Stamp Scamp
Someone immediately looking at the cost of the postage on a mailer he received, then doing the quick math in his head to see if the shipping cost (plus materials, etc.) charged by the seller was close enough to be considered fair.

See also: Mailarkey - when the shipping charge proves to be nothing short of a rip-off.

See also: Bendvelope - a mailer contaning a card inside of a flexible Card Saver holder with nothing else used as a stiffener to better protect the cargo.

574. Musialeum
A collection of ‘Stan the Man’ cards and memorabilia.

575. Barefaced Buy
The purchase of a 1967 Topps ‘Who Am I?’ card where the creative ‘disguise coating’ had been scratched away long ago.

576. April Scour (also Spring Bling)
How a player’s card became hugely desirable to kids as they ripped open new packs searching for it the spring following his incredible exploits in last year’s regular season, playoffs or World Series.

See also: Zoilologist - someone eagerly trying to get his hands on one of these new, highly sought-after cards.

See also: Donlarceny - the act of taking advantage of someone else’s newfound fervency and scoring great cards off of him by trading one of your ‘new hero’ doubles.

577. Casual Loathing
Not being a fan of Babe Ruth cards and memorabilia where he is dressed in street clothes and not in his legendary baseball uniform.

See also: Mis-Taking Identity (or Ruth-Less Seller) - someone pretending to be slyly ‘unaware’ that the card he’s selling with a label stating it is Babe Ruth pictured on it, clearly shows someone other than ‘The Babe.’

578. Slabdication
When the anger over ridiculously long delays, coupled with the grading company’s poor attitude towards its own customers, grows so intense that you swear you will never spend another dime sending cards their way.

See also: The Vainglory of their Times - the smugness of PSA not giving a rat’s ass about the pathetic length of time it takes for them to grade and return the cards of loyal customers.

579. Omentum
When an auction has such an unusual amount of early activity/bidding that it serves as a bad sign that the price of the lot is going to be driven much higher than you could’ve imagined.

580. Fuzzcuts
The roughly sliced edges of O-Pee-Chee cards.

581. Whale Grail
When a pick-up is so epic that neither “White Whale” nor “Holy Grail” comes close enough to describing how magnificent of a grab it is.

See also: Gloatation Device - a card or piece of memorabilia so monumental that not a single person will ever take exception to the owner loudly boasting about it.



"Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Collectorisms-man!!"

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 3 of 3


"Never trust a card collector who says he isn't angry..."


582. Tacticalculus
Quickly crunching the numbers to determine if the price of an ungraded card is a good deal, based on what its value would be if it came back from a TPG at the grade it ‘unquestionably deserves.’

583. Freewheeler-Dealer (also Shopcreeper)
Someone who contributes nothing to the site and is only here to continually tally up sales by peddling their cards in the B/S/T marketplace without having to worry about paying fees to do so.

See also: Vulture Club - a group of such members.

584. Lessing in Disguise
When purchasing a card outside of eBay or an auction house, the wonderful surprise of finding that tax isn’t being added to the final price at check-out.

585. Data Maligning
The refusal to believe or accept that the low price numbers of the past sales statistics you are looking at truly reflect how little your card is ‘worth.’

586. Clapprehension
When someone excitedly posts a new pick-up, but since you are unfamiliar with the card, the set or the player, you have no idea how big your reaction should be.

587. Timefoolery
Running across an old ad or catalog for ‘The Card Collector's Company’ (or other such places) from the 60’s or 70’s and immediately getting lost in imagining how great it would be to go back in time and buy up everything at those incredible prices.

588. Grass Half Empty
Any card or photograph which allows you to catch a glimpse of how awful the field conditions got back in the old days.

589. Upshelfing
When a seller describes a graded card using verbiage such as “Only 15 higher!!” in an attempt to give it some sort of additional prominence it doesn’t deserve.

590. Slit-Talker
Someone who is well-schooled in the ways that vintage card print sheets were organized, laid out with SP’s and DP’s, and ultimately cut.

See also: Chompromised - cards that due to the detrimental positions they occupied on the print sheets, are much more susceptible to being found very off-centered, short side-to-side, or generally miscut due to the sheet cutting process.

591. Bidspreads
The habitual adding of a specific number of cents to each of your bids (i.e. $18.44, $72.44, $109.44), so it’ll give you a better chance of beating out standard, whole dollar amount bidders.

592. Socialrelist
A seller who after no one pulls the trigger on his high price, decides to relist the card at an even higher Buy-It-Now amount.

593. Die-Hardcore Collector
A guy who would enthusiastically crawl through broken glass as he battled terrorists if it meant he had a chance of getting his hands on a card he dearly wants.

594. Sticker Sorrow
The depressing feeling of getting an auction win in the mail and the price tag on the toploader (that obviously held the card for a long time as it sat unsold in the seller’s card shop) is a lot less than what you just paid for it.

595. Stackedcourt (also Hofrequency)
The regularity with which two or more Hall of Famers appear as co-stars on action-packed vintage basketball cards.

596. Smaller Famer
Someone trying to grab big-money, top-tier Hall of Famers off of you through offering trades where he only surrenders cards of low-demand HOF’ers.

597. Subdueling
Choosing not to ‘watch’ an auction you’re very interested in, because keeping the number of watchers low might give you an advantage by making others think the number of potential bidders is less than it really is.

See also: The Ole Yazz-A-Ma-Tazz - purposely using slight, subtle misspellings of a player’s name in an eBay search, in the hopes of running across something great where no one else is looking.

598. Upper-Deke
A seller fervently touting how his lot contains all sorts of valuable high numbers, but it's a fake-out as those cards are either in horrific shape or they’re from a set where the high series isn’t in any way, shape or form tough to obtain.

599. Reboot Lickers
Fans of the modern day sets whose designs are throwback reproductions of cards from long ago.

600. Pornucopia
Any pictures of random, jumbled assortments of old baseball cards.

601. Amass Hysteria
Having the so-called ‘collector’ gene, where the act of accumulating cards (and/or other collectibles) is not only second nature, but a very important part of your life.

See also: Ebayla Virus (or Hyperbuycemia) - the malady of consistently spending so much money purchasing new pieces for your collection that it adversely affects other parts of your life.

See also: Gaffe Infection - plagued by the need to accumulate whatever error and variation cards you can get your hands on.

See also: Crossovertigo - the disorder causing you to not be able to see straight unless each graded card you obtain is cracked out of its slab and resubmitted to your preferred TPG.

See also: Back Lung Disease - the uncontrollable urge to continue adding ‘new’ and different tobacco card backs to your collection.

See also: Winsomnia - being unable to sleep due to the need to press on and make it to the end of an auction finishing up in the wee hours of the morning.

See also: Hallstones - the pain in your gut that results from stressing over whether your bid in an auction for a Hall of Famer will remain high enough to win the card.

See also: Hero-Win Addict - a person hooked on collecting a specific player, and is always striving to prevail in auctions to grab more and more examples of his cards.

602. Slop-Happy
A card that puts a smile on your face, because although it is in godawfully bad shape, it has the saving grace of being perfectly centered.

See also: Malificentered - when the centering of a card is so garishly awful it hurts your brain.

603. Not Not Joke
Any auction for a card that is obviously a reprint or fantasy piece, but the seller cunningly includes some sort of “I’m not sure if this card is real or not...” verbiage to try to pull the wool over someone’s eyes.

604. Easy Come, Easy Dough (adage)
How incredibly easy it is for TPGs to grade new cards, since they are of extremely high quality to begin with, and go straight from the pack into card savers and then submitted...without the chance of ever suffering wear.

605. Accoladyboys
Kids who chased cards with the ‘All-Star Rookie’ trophies on them, because their young minds believed Topps considered those guys to be the best players around.

606. Perplexistentialism
If a card has a ST qualifier on the label, but no matter how hard you examine it you can’t locate the supposed stain, does said stain actually exist??

607. Flopps (also Bottomms (archaic))
The particular Topps set or sets that each individual collector feels are just a big swing and a miss.

608. Lens Denter (also Helmet Bonker)
A picture on a card that is such an extreme close-up that you can imagine the camera actually coming in contact with the player.

609. Barrage Sale
When someone posts way too many separate FS threads, instead of combining them.

610. Membeer Goggles
When someone claims the stuff he is selling is ‘beautiful,’ when everyone can see the cards are anything but pretty to look at.

611. A Pounce of Prevention
When a card for sale somewhere is just too good to be true, and members immediately jump in to call people’s attention to all of the red flags while warning them to be very, very careful about pursuing it.

612. Unwanted Posters
Manager and coaches cards, because 99.9% of all collectors have nothing but contempt for them and wish some other types of cards were printed in their place.

613. Dread Giveaway
When seeking out opinions on whether or not the expensive card you bought is authentic, and someone points out a specific aspect that 100% proves it is NOT genuine.

614. “Healthy as a Hearse” (aphorism)
The ambivalence of realizing that when an all-time great dies, the great sadness you feel is counterbalanced by the skyrocketing value of the cards you have of him in your collection.

615. Poll Vaulting
Clicking the “View Poll Results” button in a thread to see which way the wind is blowing before actually voting in said poll.

616. High-Grade Low-Brow
Vintage sets where it is very easy to obtain cards cheaply in extremely high grades.

617. Fleermonger
A collector and enthusiast of any vintage Fleer sets.

See also: Cookie Mistake - how Fleer’s 1963 attempt to issue a set of cards featuring current players crumbled under the weight of Topps’ supremacy.

618. PSA 10 OC (slang)
A colorful way of telling someone that their card is a fake. “Yo, dude, that Matty is a 10 OC all the way!”

619. Dem Sums
Any valuable Brooklyn Dodgers cards.

See also: Ebbetts Yield - the increased value of the 1957 Topps #400 Dodgers Sluggers’ card if Carl Furillo ever finds his way into Cooperstown.

620. Reflection Deflection
Using pics of a card still in a penny sleeve or toploader, so the rippled reflections of light off of the plastic obscures issues that would be readily apparent if the card was photographed or scanned outside of the holder.

621. Might O’ Dayers
The lurkers who may consider coming out of the shadows and becoming more ‘fully-fledged’ net54 members and contributors.

622. Brothers-in-Lore
Scammers in the B/S/T who all seem to tell the same story of having siblings with incredible collections that need to be unloaded quickly and cheaply.

623. Brookskeeper
A spirited collector of all things Brooks Robinson.

624. Scambling
Being unsure of whether or not a valuable card is authentic, but rolling the dice and sending it in to be graded anyway, because if it turns out to be real you’ll be rolling in the dough.

625. March Fadness
How the market for a certain emerging player’s rookie cards gets all bonkers with the dawn of the season approaching...only to start losing steam as the season gets under way and he proves to be nothing special.

626. Gripe Left
When a member complains about there being a lack of interest in the attractively-priced (to him) card he’s selling by remarking, “What, no offers??”

627. Single-A Haul
Any pickup that is great for you, personally, but in the scheme of things may be rather yawn-worthy.

628. Blisstory
The warm retellings of when, where and/or how you picked up a specific card or cards a long time ago.

629. Batsmanalysis
Trying to interpret the subtle clues and determine what old team’s uniform a player is wearing on a card when all team logos and insignias have been either obscured or airbrushed into oblivion by the card company due to a team switch.

See also: Trade-Scoff (or Sigh-Gration) - the godawfully poor job of airbrushing done to the ‘new’ caps of relocated players on vintage ‘traded set’ cards.

630. Farced Perspective
A seller taking a picture of an off-centered card at an angle with the ‘very close to the border’ side in the foreground, giving the illusion that there’s a lot more room there than there actually is.

631. “Fly Me to the Boon”
When a card you saw on eBay (and know how much it sold for) suddenly appears for sale on net54 at two or three times the price it went for merely a week ago.

632. Free Blurred
The use of “FREE SHIPPING!” in an auction title in an attempt to obscure the fact it is a tremendously overpriced card.

633. Half-Ask Effort
When someone posts a WTB thread, but doesn’t include any fundamentally basic information such as what condition they are seeking, etc.

634. Lagflation
When a seller’s prices before the pandemic were stupidly high, but since he hasn’t done a show in a couple of years, the old price stickers on his toploaders remain unchanged and now make the cards look like sweet bargains in today’s market.

See also: Deantrification - when the stupidly high prices of an eBayer seller seem a tiny bit more reasonable to some people, because everyone else’s wildly skyrocketing prices have lessened the gap.

635. Show-Flopper
Buying a graded card at a show, because you thought the price was a steal, but when you got home and checked out the listings on eBay, you saw it could be readily had for half of what you paid.


And that's the end of section 3, so I hope you guys enjoyed it!! (Whoops!! Since I'm not a biologist, I don't actually know if you are "guys.")



And that's all she wrote. Now no one talk to me...I am freakin' tired!!!!!!!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 04-04-2022 at 04:01 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-12-2020, 06:18 AM
Kevin Kevin is offline
Kevin from Franklin Square, LI
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Long Island
Posts: 505
Default

Newbummer!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-12-2020, 06:22 AM
ALBB ALBB is offline
Albert Bee
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 755
Default words

Thats quite entertaining !
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-12-2020, 06:34 AM
chalupacollects chalupacollects is offline
T!.m H.
Tim Hu,nt
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,112
Default

That was great!
__________________
Successful B/S/T deals with asoriano, obcbobd, x2dRich2000, eyecollectvintage, RepublicaninMass, Kwikford, Oneofthree67, jfkheat, scottglevy, whitehse, GoldenAge50s, Peter Spaeth, Northviewcats, megalimey, BenitoMcNamara, Edwolf1963, mightyq, sidepocket, darwinbulldog, jasonc, jessejames, sb1, rjackson44, bobbyw8469, quinnsryche, Carter08, philliesfan and ALBB so far.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-12-2020, 07:55 AM
edhans's Avatar
edhans edhans is offline
Ed Hans
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Buffalo, N.Y.
Posts: 1,085
Default Re: The New Directory of Collectorisms...

Really fun read. Well done, Darren.
__________________
Please visit my website at http://t206.monkberry.com/index.html
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-12-2020, 12:38 PM
Gorditadogg Gorditadogg is offline
Al Stein
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,078
Default

Very well done, looking forward to more!

How about Jolly Elm disease, an affliction manifesting in a desire for miscut, OC and print error cards.

Or gorditadoggerel, a common result of trying to post a witty response on Net54.



Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-12-2020, 07:59 PM
Golfcollector's Avatar
Golfcollector Golfcollector is offline
Dave Johnson
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 906
Default

This is my vote for post of the year!.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-12-2020, 09:16 PM
thatkidfromjerrymaguire thatkidfromjerrymaguire is offline
John Donovan
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 397
Default

Hahaha! Fantastic post. Thanks for this!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-12-2020, 10:18 PM
ullmandds's Avatar
ullmandds ullmandds is offline
pete ullman
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: saint paul, mn
Posts: 10,467
Default

Darren...amazing job!!!!!! I'm laughing out loud over here!!!!! Very seinfeldian...so true!

Some of my favorites:

waxative
grandpoppycock
newbummer
shambellisher
disrecarded
obliviot..."the mizer"
prethumption...or judging by their name...flim flam...bahahaha
greed to know
satisfaktion..."dog pile on the rabbit!"
#48 is the best!!!!! pillage idiot!!!!!! So true on all counts!!!!!

Definitely the post of the year...and a new language has been created.

Last edited by ullmandds; 12-12-2020 at 10:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:17 AM
Bigdaddy's Avatar
Bigdaddy Bigdaddy is offline
+0m J()rd@N
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: VA
Posts: 1,464
Default

We should all be honest and post our Collectorisms Number - the number of definitions that a person has been guilty of in the past year.

I'm thinking that I'll probably have to take my shoes off to keep count.
__________________
Working Sets:
Baseball-
T206 SLers - Virginia League
1952 Topps - low numbers
1954 Bowman
1964 Topps Giants auto'd
1964 Topps
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:27 AM
Throttlesteer Throttlesteer is offline
Anson
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 830
Default

My favorite read over the past week. Nicely done!
__________________
An$on Lyt!e
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:41 AM
Casey2296's Avatar
Casey2296 Casey2296 is online now
Is Mudville so bad?
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: West Coast
Posts: 2,437
Default

51. Mized-
Being met with an inappropriate degree of hostility and aggressive sales tactics when showing even the slightest interest in a card for sale.

Last edited by Casey2296; 12-13-2020 at 10:49 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:52 AM
rhettyeakley's Avatar
rhettyeakley rhettyeakley is offline
Rhett Yeakley
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 2,382
Default

I legit want to use some of those words in a sentence now! It is like Net54 Urban Dictionary.

This list is great!
__________________
Check out my YouTube Videos highlighting VINTAGE CARDS https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbE..._as=subscriber

ebay store: kryvintage-->https://www.ebay.com/sch/kryvintage/...p2047675.l2562
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:56 AM
rhettyeakley's Avatar
rhettyeakley rhettyeakley is offline
Rhett Yeakley
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 2,382
Default

Wait...

am I now guilty of boardswarming or a good old fashioned Post-it dope by responding to this thread?
__________________
Check out my YouTube Videos highlighting VINTAGE CARDS https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbE..._as=subscriber

ebay store: kryvintage-->https://www.ebay.com/sch/kryvintage/...p2047675.l2562
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-13-2020, 11:10 AM
mechanicalman's Avatar
mechanicalman mechanicalman is offline
Sam Sw@rtz
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,118
Default

I don't think I've read something as clever as this as long as I've been a member here.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-13-2020, 10:36 PM
Gorditadogg Gorditadogg is offline
Al Stein
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,078
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey2296 View Post
51. Mized-
Being met with an inappropriate degree of hostility and aggressive sales tactics when showing even the slightest interest in a card for sale.
Mizeical chairs: a game where you try to get your money back after buying an overpriced misrepresented card.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 02-05-2021, 06:43 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

They're Baa-aaack!!!! I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part IV (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** I can't say this strongly enough. This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, chuckles and guffaws will ensue!!!!

No international treaties were breached in creating this magnum opus.


Okay, here’s the fourth part of this nonsense, but it gets better. I have not only copied and pasted all of the updates together right here in the original post, but I have also added a ton of bonus material. You know how when an album is remastered/reissued, they include bonus tracks? Well, that’s what you have here, and now more than one quarter of a thousand Collectorisms in one place, so enjoy the heck out of it (or don’t enjoy it, your choice)...



204. Hot Water Theater
When you pop into a water cooler section thread as a casual change of pace...and suddenly realize you’ve stumbled into a shit show!!

205. Blockroach
A seller who, no matter how many different ways you try to prevent his listings from showing up in your eBay searches, still finds a way to get his auctions through.

See also: Demoniker - a secondary or supplemental eBay username employed by these types of sellers.

206. Autosnafu
The unfortunate way card companies cut noteworthy signatures out of full pictures or documents to scrunch them into the tiny window of a chase card.

See also: Bullfit! (informal) - an autograph that is partially cut off or obscured in one of these contrivances.

207. The Equivoprevarication Hypocrisy (also Chirperjury)
The fact that countless sellers holler and exclaim that the card they’re selling looks so much better than the grade it received...yet not a single one of these hawkers ever says that one of their cards actually looks worse than the grade given.

See also: Jumba-Liar - an auction description that’s a veritable hodgepodge of half-truths and falsehoods.

208. Cardboard Cryptid
A card that is virtually impossible to find perfectly centered.

See also: Proportunate - feeling psyched about finally finding a ‘decently’ centered example.

209. Bubble Scramble
With card prices continuing to rise exponentially, your buying habits are being completely redefined every single day.

See also: Crumbrage (also Cellar’s Market) - being annoyed that the only cards you can now afford are basically the bottom of the barrel throwaways.

See also: Trainwrecktrospect - looking back on the very poor decision of selling your cards too soon, too cheaply before prices really began to escalate.

210. Hubba-Hubba-Bubba (also Riding the Cardboard Escalator)
The happiness of seeing the huge bubble gum card bubble magnificently increasing the value of your collection.

See also: Dweller’s Market - being unsure whether now is the right time to sell, or if prices are going to continue to climb.

See also: Bubble Dump - deciding to take a quick profit by selling off your cards right now.

See also: Kurt Bevacquation - the desire to sell off your collection in a hurry before the giant bubble bursts, so you can use the proceeds to take your family on a great trip.

211. Slabberdasher
A collector looking for input and ideas on how to best display and lay out his cards, uniforms and other memorabilia in his ‘man cave.’

212. Breaking the Plastic Ceiling
The moment you decide that the vast majority of your card purchases from here on out will be of the graded variety.

213. 52 Hours a Day (colloquialism)
The amount of time spent discussing the endless fascination with Mickey Mantle’s first Topps card.

214. Guillotine Set (also Overheaded)
Any Topps offering which is comprised of an inordinate amount of headshots.

See also: Marie Fantoinette - someone who adores those types of cards.

See also: Beheadhunter - an avid collector of the 1960 Topps set.

See also: Yearbooker - a lover of the 1960 Leaf set.

215. Meticumulation (also Minticulous)
A collection of only very high grade cards.

See also: Wantificating - a collector arrogantly explaining why he doesn’t dig the card somebody bought, because some specific aspect falls just shy of his own personal finicky grading and collecting requirements.

216. The Lonesome Sighway
Feeling isolated and forsaken, because you are seemingly the only person who collects and/or is into the types of cards you collect.

217. Wynicism
On the rare occasion you actually triumph in an auction with a pretty low bid, your mind instantly becomes clogged with thoughts such as, “Uh oh, how did I possibly win it?? Did I miss something?? Is there a flaw in the card I didn’t see?”

218. HOFOMO (acronym)
Fear of missing out on your opportunity to buy Hall of Famer cards at decent prices as said prices continue to soar.

219. Leatherbrain (also Addicted to Glove)
Someone whose collecting focus centers around the all-time great fielders.

See also: Slugbug (or Slamlord) - a collector focused primarily on legendary power hitters.

See also: Moundhound (or Hurlieman or Firehauler) - a seeker of cards and memorabilia portraying the most celebrated pitchers in the game’s history.

220. Bad Commacation
Not properly inserting a comma in your sales price, so at first glance a card appears to be an incredible ‘bargain’ at $850, and not $8,500.

221. Disgarveyfication (also Flaw of Averages)
Thinking the superstars you worshiped as a boy were clear cut all-time greats and first-ballot HOF’ers, but when you give their stats a once-over now, you realize they were just meh.

222. 177/537 Disease
Seeing a vintage card and having the innate ability to immediately remember what number it is without giving it a second thought.

223. Non-Mathematical Gradipulation
Not being able to understand how a card graded as an SGC 80 works out to be a 6???? Why isn’t it an 8????

224. Garbarian (also Garmentor or Raimentic)
Someone who is able to readily identify what year a photograph was taken based on specific aspects of the player’s uniform.

See also: Costdoomer (or Garfomentor) - someone who heartily disagrees with his assessment of the apparel in question.

See also: Boutfitter - a member who happily jumps in to fight in defense of the OP’s conclusions.

See also: Dorian Ungray - the use of very old photos by card companies, where there is clear evidence (a long gone stadium, an old uniform, etc.) in the photograph that proves it was snapped many years ago...not to mention how absurdly youthful the player appears.

225. Erudouche
A person who feels obligated to point out words that 99.99% of the population uses as synonyms (“rare” and “scarce,” e.g.) actually have sightly different meanings.

See also: Dichthyologist (or Marine Biolojerk) - someone who jumps in to ‘correct’ anyone using the time-honored exhortation “Squish the fish!!” (meaning “Beat Miami!!”), by pompously stating that a dolphin isn’t a fish, it’s a mammal.

226. Canardboard (also Hubriscation)
The smug and silly dismissal that valuable baseball cards are “just cardboard.” Sure, and ‘The Mona Lisa’ is just some pigment on a piece of wood.

See also: Glampifying - romanticizing a pile of old cards in bad shape for sale by referring to them as being in “Collector’s Grade.”

227. Exorbitancy Coefficient
The mathematical formula involved in determining if using a combination of 15% off coupons, credit card points, and eBay bucks will offset the ridiculous asking price of a card enough to ultimately make buying it ‘worth it.’

228. Registry Disparity
The mathematical rule of thumb that a card with a qualifier is equal to a straight graded card two whole numbers lower.

See also: The Binary Conundrum - owning a graded card with a qualifier, but since the ‘defect’ is so minor, it definitely doesn’t merit having a two-grades-lower drop in value.

229. Scrubbish
Rookie cards of players that never made it big appearing in the same set with the same layout as other valuable, much sought after rookie cards.

230. Coming In from the Mold (also Grabbing the Raines)
When a long-retired player finally becomes a HOFer and you start digging through your old cardboard boxes in search of his cards.

See also: Vexaltation - being pissed that when you dig those cards out they are in awful shape because they’ve been rattling around in your commons/junk boxes all of these years.

See also: Mildewphoria - the delight in discovering you have a bunch of his rookie cards socked away.

See also: Epidemacclaim - the huge amount of overpriced cards suddenly appearing everywhere on eBay the moment the ballplayer is finally elected to The Hall.

See also: Prognostogainer - someone who speculated perfectly on the HOF vote and was able to cheaply load up on the player’s cards in advance.

See also: Windfault - spending a lot of money buying the rookie cards of a player you were sure was going to be enshrined this time, only to see him once again fall short.

231. Individual Wagneria
The cards that normal people hold up as their own personal most valuable or treasured collectibles.

See also: Gutzon Borgum - the cards you choose to be a part of your own personal ‘Mt. Rushmore’ of collectibles.

232. Lexiconjecture
Seeing a word, phrase or acronym in someone’s post and not being able to tell if it’s a misspelling or an example of new terminology that you are unfamiliar with.

233. Master Set-back (also Annextra)
After someone makes a new variation discovery (usually a minor printing anomaly), and you realize the card in your master set already is this version, so you must sadly go out and spend the money to add the ‘regular’ version.

234. Scaventurous
With a smile on your face and your team’s cap on your head, standing at the entrance to a card show and wondering what magical hidden treasures you are going to come across today.

See also: Capture the Slag - happily spending very little money and amassing a nice pile of star cards in really bad shape.

235. Too-Too Clock
Although everyone is (rightfully) complaining about how expensive cards are getting these days, the simple truth is cards have always been way ‘too’ expensive since the beginning of time. Even when Mays and Mantle cards could be gotten for $5 apiece, that was considered a ludicrous price.

236. Deceiviation
When someone touts that he’s selling a Hall of Famer card (cheaply), but when you open the thread you find it’s not the player’s ‘regular’ card, but a much-less-desirable combination card, World Series card, checklist or league leaders card.

See also: Dooplomat - the author of such a thread.

See also: Sidemicks - the players appearing on cards with Mickey Mantle.

See also: Trophesizing - calling a card for sale a “rookie card,” when it’s actually a second year card that has the Topps All-Star Rookie trophy on it.

237. Thrillogical (also Prosposterous)
Having a card listed with a ‘Buy It Now’ price for quite some time and it never sells, but when you decide to relist it as a straight auction, the hammer price ends up exceeding what your BIN always was.

238. Droughtstretch (also The No Cardboard Blues or Cry Spell)
That horribly sad period of time when you have absolutely no eBay wins coming to your home in the forseeable future.

See also: Dearthling - a collector caught up in this pitiful situation.

See also: Droughtburst - the card you finally buy that puts an end to this terrible stretch of time.

239. Bendacity
Looking at a prized card you own that is creased, and not being able to fully accept and get over the fact that there will never ever be a way to flatten it out and rid it of those nasty wrinkles.

240. Pocket Scientist (also Neinstein)
A collector who has a knack for quickly placing cards into the right page slots (while transferring a partial set into a binder) by efficiently doing the multiples of 9 math.

241. Louie-Leaner (also Precise Versa)
Correctly orienting your team and other horizontal cards (in albums and holders) with the de facto ‘tops’ on the left side and NOT the right side.

242. Auspiezious
A mediocre player who holds a place of prominence in the collecting world simply because he appears on either a rare variation or an otherwise significant card.

243. Charcoal Merchant (also Blackpeddler)
A person who deceptively darkens the corners and edges of 1971 Topps cards in order to pull a fast one and pass them off as high grade.

See also: Tragic Marker - the discovery that one of your key 1971 cards was recolored sometime in the past.

See also: Pooreo (slang) - the ease with which your black 1971 cards immediately wore away into white.

244. Spider Banes
Very conspicuous print lines that adversely affect the look of an otherwise nice card.

245. Club Orthoboxy
Keeping your cards sorted by teams and not in numerical order.

246. Sicken Scratch (also Scrivendacity)
When someone posts a nearly illegible handwritten letter or postcard from an old time player and doesn’t include either a transcript or a summation of what the heck it says.

247. The Apopalypse
The constant ‘the sky is falling’ cry (heard very less often these days) of people thinking the graded card market is going to bottom out.

248. Despairasitic (also Gone With the Win)
Checking on an auction you’re really hoping to win with a low snipe bid, but seeing there’s a multitude of people watching it, so you realize you don’t stand a chance in hell.

249. Hemlinegevity (also Puberty Derailment)
How ‘all’ kids collect cards from early on in grade school up until they start chasing skirts sometime in middle school, only to then pick up the hobby again decades later.

250. Case and Effect
The manner in which card collecting has drastically changed with the onset of professional grading. It used to be that you’d grab any card you need for your set, centering or other factors be damned, but now the paradigm of what constitutes ‘acceptable cardboard’ has been changed for many collectors.

251. Standing Shill
The BS involved with ignoring the fact that illegitimate bidders screw everyone over and drive prices fraudulently upward. It’s usually accompanied by an inane statement such as, “I bid the maximum I’m going to bid and that’s it. Whatever happens, happens.”

252. In Screeno Veritas (Lat.) (also Web Phlegm)
The attempt to use Photoshop to alter a picture to trick people into believing you own a card...but the posted picture has enough clues in it to prove the truth. You ain’t got it.
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-14-2022 at 06:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-18-2021, 04:30 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Yippie-Ki-Yay, Motherf*ckers! I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part V (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, go to the OP and scroll down to #37 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while reading this post.


And here’s the fifth part of this nonsense, so LOL or BOL or ROTFL, or just STUDNBSAYP (sit there unamused, doing nothing but staring at your phone), your choice...



253. Griptrip
An eBay auction with the picture showing the seller’s hand holding the card for sale.

See also: Fingerfolk (or Second Handlers) - eBayers who engage in this practice.

See also: Porkadillo - the offense of making everyone feel painfully uncomfortable as they’re forced to stare at your meaty sausage fingers in the auction photos.

254. Ramenstration
The act of cutting back on your usual dining habits in order to free up money to use on the cards you’re looking to buy.

See also: Dehammered - the feeling that the rate at which prices are rising means you’re never going to win another auction.

255. Dismissogyny (also Scold Shoulder)
The contempt you feel for your wife when she once again dismissively mocks or belittles your ‘silly little hobby.’

256. Swapchase (also Flexchange)
A transaction involving two people trading cards, wherein one of the parties also adds a predetermined amount of cash to the deal.

257. Cardboardhydrates
The list of ingredients found on a wax pack for the plank of gum inserted within.

258. Switchfaced (also Opposhit)
The unintentional use of a reversed photographic image on a baseball card.

259. Jivestocker
A seller who only uses ‘stock photos’ in his listings.

260. Intecollectual
A person who uses a smart, discerning, and measured approach to his card collecting methods.

261. Numerelevance (also Prime-Timecard)
How Topps reserved the more significant card numbers, such as #100, #200, etc., for the most cherished players in the set.

262. Metropolitangential
Being a huge fan and collector of New York Mets cards and memorabilia, but also having a soft spot in your heart for their pseudo-ancestors, the NY Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers.

See also: Sox Addict - a fan of either (or both) of the American League teams haling from Boston, MA and Chicago, IL.

263. “Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.” (maxim)
The assessment of the continuing upsurge in baseball card prices.

See also: “Strike while the cardboard is hot.” - knowing that, although it’s very pricey, you need to buy a card you’re interested in now before the cost climbs even higher in the immediate future.

See also: Opportunity Accost - unexpectedly coming across a card (that you may or may not need) and knowing if you don’t buy it immediately at this price, the next person who sees it will undoubtedly jump on it.

See also: Redbreaded - a person who has actually found a way to lose money selling their cards in this booming collectibles market.

264. Woe Tide (also Floodraising)
The befuddlement of seeing the asking prices of lesser cards also going through the roof in the current environment, as if they were suddenly on par with the all-time greats.

265. PSA 11
Whether graded or not, just a fantastically beautiful card.

See also: Elevening - bragging about how great a graded card you’re selling looks.

266. Blockaid
The post, PM, or some other occurrence that tells you it’s time to relegate a particular member to your 'ignore' list.

See also: Speedelete - when you see a PM in your in-box and you know the guy who sent it is just spewing crap, so you immediately throw it in the trash without reading it.

See also: Perplexiled - when you find yourself on the blocked list of an eBay seller and have no recollection as to why you were put there.

See also: Laughingblock - when someone believes that blocking you is going to adversely affect your life, but it just makes you chuckle.

267. Callousthetics
Deceptively using an image stolen from an eBay auction to ‘sell’ a card you don’t actually own.

268. Unicornery
A card doctor making all four corners of a very rare and valuable (fake) card universally, symmetrically rounded, although a card like that does not exist in the natural world.

269. Harpoonnacle
The exhilirating feeling of being on top of the world after your hunt for one of your ‘white whales’ has finally come to a joyous conclusion.

See also: Leviathinning - crossing that significant card off of your want list.

See also: Ahabitual - the persistent, daily employment of eBay searches (and other methods) in your pursuit of one of your ‘white whales.’

See also: Vortexuberance - the feeling of joy and relief that comes with winning a turbulent and hotly-contested auction between multiple rival bidders.

270. Decimalarkey
The miniscule, undetected-by-the-human-eye factors that supposedly differentiate a PSA 9 card from a PSA 10.

271. Flipclipper
Stopping someone dead in his tracks who’s trying to sweet-talk you out of a card for next to nothing, because you know full well he’s only looking to grab it to immediately resell it at a big profit.

272. Condescenturions
People who post things that are already blatantly obvious to everyone, as if they’re somehow adding insightful info to the thread. It’s the baseball card equivalent of a person on a computer help-line asking you, “Is your machine plugged in?”

273. Slabyrinthine (also Contorturous)
The arduously long and painstakingly difficult task of trying to free a card sandwiched between multiple layers of cardboard, encased in bubble wrap and having every conceivable angle thickly covered in tight layers of tape with no apparent edges to be found.

274. “I wouldn’t touch his cards with a sixty foot, six inch pole.” (slang)
The disdain for a Hall of Fame pitcher felt by a collector who believes he has no business being in Cooperstown.

275. Slimperceptible (also Scantily Bad)
A card whose centering is only a mere hair worse than another virtually identical card, but unlike that one, it gets a dreaded OC qualifier on the label.

See also: “All OC cards are equal, but some OC cards are more equal than others.” - how a card falling just a speck outside of the TPG’s centering parameters and one that is egregiously off-centered 90-10 both ways will each receive the same qualifier.

276. Unintended Cardsequences (also Carbohyway Robbery)
Although Topps purposefully packaged their baseball cards in wax packs with large sticks of gum inserted, when a card is found to have wax or gum residue present on it, it is devalued and/or given a qualifier.

277. Discountentment
Getting an expensive card at a ‘bargain,’ but it may prove to be a bad thing when it’s time to sell, because your low winning bid will appear on the sales price data sites and make potential buyers rethink what the card’s value is.

278. Paxploitation Film
A Hollywood movie (or TV show) where baseball cards make an unexpected appearance.

279. Groan-Sharking
Posting a card for sale at such an egregiously high price (which doesn’t conform in any way shape or form to past sales), and causing everyone to gripe, “What is this guy thinking???!!”

See also: Trolesaler - a person who’s a member of this site for no other reason than to take advantage of the free access to the B/S/T and hawk their exorbitantly priced cards.

See also: Doing a Double-Brake (informal) - suddenly stopping when you see an eBay price that is so absolutely ridiculous that it makes you wonder if you’re missing something. Like, is the card a Venezuelan or something??

280. Cardines
The stuff you put out there as trade bait.

281. Forefingerphobia (also Ruinjurious)
The common anxiety accompanying any attempt to remove a card from a toploader, because awkwardly stuffing your finger into such a thin, confined space can only end up damaging it.

282. Pathminder (also Good Sportmanshepherd)
Someone who ‘dutifully’ chimes in to tell you your post is in the wrong section.

See also: Navigrater - a person who guides the person to the correct area, but there’s a bit of bite in his response.

283. Shodification
An offer sent to you by an eBayer which is only a tiny, insignificant reduction of his original listing price.

See also: Repeat Scoffender - an eBay seller who sends you an offer to buy their card at such an exorbitant price that you can’t help but laugh and immediately reject it...but then time passes and the seller once again sends you a ‘new’ offer at the exact same outrageous price.

284. Protrusion Confusion
Not really understanding what the specific, precise definition of a corner ‘bump’ or ‘ding’ is.

285. Rostertute
A member having a list of people he’s done deals with catalogued in his signature.

286. Drag Clean (slang)
Someone who uses pantyhose to remove wax and gum residue from the surface of a card.

See also: Leggy - a graded card with an ‘ST’ qualifier that you know can be easily eliminated by using a pair of pantyhose to wipe away the ‘invisible’ wax or gum residue on it.
“That card’s got legs.”
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-14-2022 at 06:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-18-2021, 04:52 PM
Seven's Avatar
Seven Seven is offline
James
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 996
Default

these are gold! "In Screeno Veritas" had me rolling, along with "Drag Clean"
__________________
Successful Deals With:

charlietheexterminator, todeen, tonyo, Santo10fan
Bocabirdman (5x), 8thEastVB, JCMTiger, Rjackson44
Republicaninmass, 73toppsmann, quinnsryche (2x),
Donscards.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-18-2021, 07:43 PM
Exhibitman's Avatar
Exhibitman Exhibitman is online now
Ad@m W@r$h@w
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Beautiful Downtown Burbank
Posts: 10,920
Default

Gotta credit our Phil Lewis with this one:

"Slab Queen". I would define it as a collector who obsesses over the number on the slab.

"Raging Slab Queen": a collector who pitches a hissy fit when he doesn't get the grade he wants on a submission.
__________________
At ten all I thought about was card collecting. At twenty all I thought about was women. At thirty all I thought about was success. At forty all I thought about was money. Now all I think about is retirement...because all I want to think about is card collecting!

Last edited by Exhibitman; 02-18-2021 at 07:45 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 02-19-2021, 01:55 PM
BobbyStrawberry's Avatar
BobbyStrawberry BobbyStrawberry is offline
♏︎ªt✝️ℌǝɯ ♓︎ºµℊℌ
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 679
Default

This is hilarious, thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 04-16-2021, 04:46 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Arthur Fonzarelli’s wearing his leather jacket and skiing across the water...so it is time to
JUMP THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!

I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VI (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #306 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

This post is ribbed for her pleasure. Do not swim for at least 30 minutes after reading. Action figures sold separately.


So it is up to you, good people of Earth, to figure out what you wanna do with all of this. Good luck...



287. Slyopic (also Glaucomedy)
The utilization of ‘at signs’ to imitate eyes and form the word “L@@K” in an auction title.

288. Grudge Crater
Bemoaning the notable holes (superstars who were not included) in an old set, and wishing the suspiciously missing cards woulda/coulda/shoulda been a part of it.

See also: Bubblegum POWs - the players not found in certain sets from the 1950’s due to the intense legal conflicts between Topps and Bowman, among others.

See also: MIArtyrdom - the glorious wonderment of imagining what the missing cards of specific HOF’ers would have looked like were they ever produced.

289. Guffawbulous
Having a name (Eddie Stanky, Heinie Manush, Johnny Pesky, Tom Tresh, Pete LaCock, e.g.) that causes every single collector alive to giggle a little bit whenever they run across one of his cards.

290. Klutts/Washington Extrapolation
The huge increase in value that a 1978 Topps Rookie Shortstops #707 card will surely attain if another one of the players pictured on it finds his way into the Hall of Fame.

291. He’s All Gum, No Cardboard (put-down)
A collector who talks a really big game and fancies himself some sort of baseball card expert, but it’s pretty obvious he has no clue what he’s talking about.

292. The Plastic Paradox
A card with a ‘Buy-It-Now’ price on eBay that is less than what it would’ve cost to have said card graded in the first place.

293. Carat-Top
A card with a discernible diamond cut.

See also: Rotato - a card that is a true rectangle, but the image on it is tilted due to a sheet cutting mishap.

294. Planned Grabsolescence
Adding overpriced things to your eBay watch list, because you know the long three month wait for your eBay Bucks Certificate to be unlocked is right around the corner, so you’ll be able to get them at a much better overall cost.

295. Sendwich
The traditional setup wherein a card in a slab or toploader is placed between two pieces of cardboard, bubble wrapped and then taped together and inserted into a mailer.

See also: Flub Sendwich - when a seller doesn’t properly seal a toploader with tape, and the card is able to slide out of its moorings while in transit.

See also: Schmuckstuck - when a toploader is rendered forever useless by a careless seller who seals it with impossible-to-remove packing tape, transforming it into a permanently sticky mess.

See also: Stichabod Crane - a seller who commits this offense.

296. COCD (Cardboard Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
The malady plaguing people who have strict, unwavering personal standards regarding how perfectly centered a card must be to earn a place in their own personal collection.

See also: Scoff Centered - the derision for any card falling short of his rigidly demanding standards.

See also: Centertainer - any collector afflicted with this condition who takes particular delight in showing off his beautifully centered cards.

297. Bogusto (also Grate Expectations)
The exhiliration of seeing your eBay listing has a whole slew of watchers...only to bitterly realize that they’re not potential buyers, but lookie-loos waiting to see if anyone is stupid enough to pull the trigger at your ridiculous price.

298. Blockem’s Razor
The principle that in deciding whether or not to add an eBayer to your blocked bidders list, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. He’s going to be a problem for you.

299. Blindignity
When the photo on a card captures the player with his eyes either fully closed or in ‘mid-blink.’

See also: Mocularity - the undoubted mirth and merriment expressed by the people at the card company as they decided to use that particular ‘eyes closed’ photo for the card instead of selecting a nicer one.

See also: Blinksmanship - a photographer’s knack for catching players in this state.

300. Noobilation
The happily optimistic and enthusiastic posts of someone who’s just recently joined the site and has obviously not yet been exposed to net54’s sordid, seamy underbelly.

301. Trimpropriety
Deciding what the acceptable shortness of a card can be, either top to bottom or side to side, that occurred naturally when the sheets of cards were cut at the factory.

302. BINishing Touches
Happily finding a very affordable Buy-It-Now price for the last card you need to finally complete your set.

303. A Player to be Hall-of-Famed Later (also Pete Rose Colored Glasses or Grandiminoso)
Expecting to get more for a card in a trade or a sale than it is truly worth, because, "Everyone knows he should definitely be in the Hall of Fame!"

See also: Juice-Bumps - when this tactic is used with regard to steroids-era players.

See also: Ain’thood - the continual uptick in admiration and reverence a ballplayer, arguably with the qualities of an all-time great, receives the longer he is ‘wrongly’ held out of Cooperstown.

304. Sherlock Chromes
A collector exposing the forgeries and/or trim-jobs of modern cards.

305. Ribbie-Glibby (slang)
Any self-important know-it-all who refuses to accept the acronym “RBI” as the independent word it truly is, and therefore never deigns to pluralize it and say, “RBIs.”
“He hit .254 while tallying a healthy 103 RBI.”

306. Basebull Market (also Batmitt Crazy)
How economists in the future will describe the drastic upsurge in baseball card buying and selling during the pandemic.

307. Peaceful, Sleazy Feeling
The theme song of card doctors.

See also: Noh Canada - the national anthem of sellers who realize much too late how much more it costs to ship a card up to our northern neighbors.

308. Costume Foolery
A baseball card (usually from very early in his big-league career) showing a player wearing a number different from the one with which he has forever been associated.

309. Poach Roach
After hitting ‘Buy-It-Now’ and sending payment for a card, you receive a message informing you the seller has cancelled the transaction and refunded your money...and you know full well it’s because someone contacted this unscrupulous seller and offered him more money for the card.

310. Plate Crasher (also Aingejustice or Jordantithesis)
A player who appears completely out of place on a baseball card, because he is much more renowned for playing an entirely different sport.

311. The Cardboard Menagerie
A table at a show having a wonderfully wide and varied assortment of different sports, years, brands and memorabilia on it.

312. Nextortion (also Foregoading or Bumptimatum)
When a member bumps his ‘for sale’ thread with a resentful veiled threat of, "This is your final chance to get this card before I move it to eBay tomorrow!!"

See also: Rantifesto (also Addendumb) - a condescending statement added to the end of an eBay listing which chastizes potential bidders for committing whatever perceived affronts the seller has rattling around in his head.

313. One-Trick Phony (also Harvey Hadhoax or Lucky Dent)
A player who has forever enjoyed a highly elevated status within the collecting community due ‘only’ to a readily-identifiable, single game accomplishment or occurrence.

See also: Pizazzeroski - a player from this group who has found his way into Cooperstown.

314. Acronymrod
A member who, for unknown reasons, eschews using simple, straight-forward abbreviations like “FS” or “PM,” to instead use his own slightly different combinations of letters.

See also: Deciphoraging - wracking your brain in an attempt to figure out exactly what each of those initials could possibly stand for. (Also pertains to misspelled acronyms.)

315. Ancestuous
Doing searches for players like “Aaron,” “Sisler,” “Brett,” and “Griffey” and having to weed through all of the results showing their much-less-desired relatives’ items.

316. April Drools Day (informal)
The spring afternoon when you realize the official start of the baseball season is finally here at last.

317. Brag Tax
The additional fees paid to a player to have him add a very brief inscription of an achievement, like “HOF 1999,” to his autograph.

318. Mets Runway (also Batwalk)
The patch of ground between the visitors’ dugout and the third base line at Shea Stadium where every National Leaguer was forced to walk to and pose for Topps photographers.

319. Louvre Affair
Cards that sit forever unsold due to their seller’s penchant for ‘museum’ pricing.

320. Vendor Reveal Party
A seller who gleefully proclaims, “Newly Graded!!!” in his auction description, as if he’s announcing the birth of a child.

321. Fundamantles
The simple rule of thumb that the Mickey Mantle card will be the most expensive card in the vast majority of sets in which he appears.

See also: Reds Herring - the odd occurrence wherein the 1963 Topps Pete Rose rookie card takes that title instead.

See also: Micked-Off - how the high-numbered 1967 Topps Tom Seaver rookie card stops the value-war dead in its tracks.

See also: Mr. Bloctober - due to the existence of the 1969 Topps ‘white letter’ variation, Mantle is technically still able to claim the throne over the Reggie Jackson rookie card.

See also: Polemick - the ongoing debate of whether or not Mickey Mantle’s 1969 card counts as the last one of his playing career, since he retired before the regular season got under way.

322. Bubble Gumption
A message sent to an eBay seller asking, “What is the absolute lowest price you will accept for this card?”

See also: Smite Back Atcha (idiom) - when the seller immediately replies, "What's the absolute highest price you will pay???"

323. Fliptease
The systematic removal of a graded card from its plastic holder.

324. Skewedonyms
The inconsistent spellings of certain players’ names (Jimmie/Jimmy Foxx, Lew/Lou Burdette, Satchel/Satchell Paige and Dick/Richie Allen, e.g.) used by the card companies.

325. Wesparkerization (or Wesparkered)
How the clumsy presence of some random player in an action shot greatly distracts or partially blocks the viewer from seeing the player whose card it actually is.

See also: Co-Stargazing - excitedly looking at the all-time great hidden in plain sight amid the game action on another player’s card.

326. Banalogous
The nonsensical listing price of an ungraded card at the going market rate (or more) of what a graded version of the same card sells for in the ‘same’ shape.

327. Doubtspoken (informal)
When a member starts a thread asking if the card he’s looking at is authentic, but his wording either hints at or directly states that he does not think it is, in fact, genuine.

See also: Grabbergasted - the reaction to finding out the card you were so happy to acquire is a fake.

See also: Trympathy - the feeling of sadness felt for someone who got screwed over by someone selling a doctored card.

See also: Shedical School - where card doctors are trained in the trimming arts.

328. Tax Player
The IRS be damned, April 15 will always be remembered as the day Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.

See also: Buyjacking - the criminally high prices which put virtually every Jackie Robinson card out of the reach of everyday collectors.

329. Keds Pox
The extreme corner and edge wear, creases and overall dilapidation caused by loose cards jostling around in a shoebox for long periods of time.

See also: Discardboard - the random stacks of old, round-cornered, ‘worthless’ cards in bad-shape that every collector has strewn about.

330. Swappraisal (also Barterback)
The short postscript added to a card to reflect the player had been traded in the off-season.

See also: Misuniformed - the confusion of kids opening packs and wondering why the guy is shown on his old team.

331. Pitchcraft
The belief that some Hall of Fame hurlers relied on the sorcery of doctored baseballs to pave their way into Cooperstown.

332. Amissfit
Seeing an old league leaders card that includes a (to you) completely unknown/’undeserving’ player on it.

See also: Whiffraff - the non-superstars appearing on strikeout leaders cards.

See also: Gawk-On Player - when you can’t help but stare with bewilderment and say, “How in heck did this guy get on here?! What kind of season did he have??”

See also: Presidekick - when this scrub player actually occupies the top spot on said leaders card.

333. Agonull Set
A baseball card offering which includes one or more unnumbered cards, leaving a collector to angrily exclaim, “How in heck will I ever know if I have a complete set??!!”

334. Stack Wounds (also Pile Scars)
The squeezed gouges in the sides of cards that resulted from being bundeled together and kept tightly wrapped in rubber bands by kids.

See also: Notchos (slang) - cards having this type of damage.

See also: Cross Glitching - the marks caused by rubber bands being stretched both vertically and horizontally around piles of cards.

See also: Elastigmata - when these types of grooves are present on a hallowed, big money card.

335. Bumper Card (also Maraca)
A graded card that is swimming so much in its holder that any movement of said holder causes an audible carom.

336. Kintimidation
(Cue the portentous music...) Always having to sleep with one eye firmly open, because it’s becoming more and more apparent that your wife and kids know EXACTLY how much of a gold mine your collection has become.

And now it's time for (MANY) beers!!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-14-2022 at 06:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-12-2021, 05:25 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

“Are you police?”
“No ma’am, we're card collectors.”



I got my first real keyboard
Bought it at the emporium
Typed on it 'til my fingers* bled
Was the summer of '21...


*Only on my left hand, because my right arm has been immobilized for a month and a half following surgery.


I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VII (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #400 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

Anyone reading this post needs to be wearing a mask. For entertainment purposes only. Anyone being offended should consult a physician. All demonstrations by professional drivers were executed on closed courses - please do not attempt at home. Give your children a hug tonight, and best of luck.


Hey, Wang! What's with the pictures? It's a website. Come on, will ya? Start reading...



337. Dishonus Wagner
The trimmed T206 Honus Wagner with serial #00000001 (the so-called ‘Gretzky/McNall Wagner’) that was the very first card to be graded by PSA.

See also: Wags Hag - anyone who uses a picture of this card as a metaphor for PSA’s ineptitude.

338. Murderer’s D'oh!
Finding out you’ve been deceived and fleeced by someone selling a reprinted card or counterfeit piece of late-1920’s Yankees memorabilia.

339. Scanchovies
The little scraps and specks of dust, dross, hair and whatnot that sit ‘on top’ of a card in a scan.

340. North Pull
The card situated on the top of an unopened pack of cards.

See also: South Pull - the card situated on the bottom of an unopened pack.

See also: Gummi Pairs - the cards (and/or inserts) in a pack that the stick of gum is/was sandwiched between.

341. Sharepopper
A person who organizes, runs and looks after a group submission to a third party grader.

342. Glitter Critter
An avid collector of modern cards.

343. Shine Swine
Disreputable sellers who are listing modern cards at just plainly extortionate prices.

344. Raison d'nêtre (Fr.)
Whether it’s for camaraderie, the free marketplace to peddle your cards, or just to continually start arguments with other members, the essential, defining reason that each of us is a net54 member to begin with.

345. Sleight of Brand
The trickery of adding “Not PSA” to an eBay listing of a card graded by a different company, so you can reap the rewards of people including “PSA” in their searches, and get your auction viewed by a helluva lot more people.

346. Scrounge Lizard (also Molehiller)
Someone who purposely keeps inventing and carping about tiny, inconsequential imperfections in a card you’re trying to sell in an obnoxious attempt to force you to lower your price significantly.

347. Kvetch-22
The principle that the people who bitterly complain the most about PSA’s horrific business practices are the same ones who gladly keep sending in more cards to be graded, because PSA slabs deliver the highest sales prices.

See also: “Hegemony Crickets!” - an expression referring to the metaphorical sound of silence as the venerated PSA refuses to ever address even a single one of the countless accusations of malfeasance made against them.

348. Pentourage
The insignificant autographs that appear on a multi-signed piece that surround (and let’s face it, ruin) the signature of a coveted, highly collectible player.

349. Scrawl Revere
A very precious, extremely valuable, and/or rarely seen player’s autograph.

350. Scribble Squabble
A disagreement over whether or not an autograph is authentic.

351. The Math of Con
An exorbitantly-priced card on eBay that now has an eye-catching ‘slashed price’ graphic with “12% OFF” added to it, as if that tiny bit of money ‘saved’ would in any way, shape or form make a difference.

352. Wiltwashed
When a seller lists the 1969 Topps Wilt Chamberlain as his rookie card, as if the cards Fleer issued almost a decade earlier somehow do not count.

353. Strophanger (also Ginsu Gus)
Anyone who uses the term “Razor Sharp!!” in an auction listing.

See also: Texthibitionist - an eBayer using “FLASH SALE!” in their listing.

See also: Empty Bindering - a seller using “Set Break” when they’re only auctioning off one or two cards from the set.

See also: Bodybilker - an eBayer coyly trying to greatly enhance the value of the card he’s selling by stating, “Strong for the grade!!”

See also: Doing the Lindy - a seller exclaiming how a card is the player’s “First Solo Card!”

354. “Sorry, Wrong Lumber.”
The polite way an expert on the site definitively tells you the supposed ‘gamer’ bat you’re asking about was in no way ever owned or used by the player in question.

See also: Sears Noebucks - when the bat turns out to be nothing but a ‘worthless’ store model.

355. Apexpat Predator
A collector living in a foreign country who has seemingly cornered a niche of the card market due to local interest (or lack thereof) being vastly different over there.

356. Past Sales Irrelevancy
The fact that you can quote the prices of past sales of a card until you’re blue in the face, but the reality is it doesn’t matter. Whatever the lowest price on eBay is for that same card in the same shape at this moment is truly what it is now ‘worth.’

See also: Highpay Snobbery - when someone tells you, “Your price of $500 is too high for this card. The last sales were only $290 and $325,” and you respond, “True, but the only one available on eBay is for $650, so either pay my price or hit the bricks, buddy.”

357. Vice Reversa (also Slipupside Down)
A horizontally oriented card that was accidentally placed in the slab the wrong way (and doesn’t correspond to how all of the other horizontal ones from the set are encapsulated) by the grading company.

358. Departicipation Trophy
That one thing you finally buy on your way out the door of a card show, just so you can say at least you picked up something at the event.

359. Wadvice
A thread stating you have a large amount of money to spend on a card, and you want members to specifically tell you what you should buy.

360. Blabbergasted
When someone makes a point of stating in a bustling thread, “I’m really surprised no one has mentioned (add name here) yet”...instead of (here’s an idea) just writing about that player yourself!

361. Hologramps
Any vintage collector who glances at a show table brimming with modern cards and immediately passes it by.

See also: Sonshine - remarking how, unlike you, your kid is into all the modern shiny stuff.

362. Rank-Spanking
Beating out a rival from the registry in an auction for a tough, high-grade card you both need.

363. Psachotherapy (also Modus Poperandi)
The fruitless undertaking of trying to understand the methodology involved in the TPG giving your card the grade it received.

364. Source Sense
The acumen developed over time and used by experienced collectors of photographs to tell you what you have (or have not) got based on the markings, writings and stamps on back.

365. Woo-Hoo Hounds
A card showing the random mix of teammates and coaches during the drunken locker room aftermath of a world series victory.

See also: Wrong Johns - when the half-dressed, champagne-soaked group of celebrants on the card are all scrubs, and not the team’s superstars.

See also: Randumfounded - having no clue who any of the players taking part in the chaotic revelry are.

See also: Shindignitary - when a superstar or Hall of Famer is readily visible on the card.

366. Stickstacking
Rifling through your piles of empty toploaders, trying to find a single clean one that’s free of tape residue and not stuck to other ones.

367. Fanguage (also Batois)
The dialect or ‘secret language’ (including terms, expressions, references to past players or glories, local towns and landmarks, etc.) of a fan base that is regularly used while talking about their beloved (or sometimes despised) team.

See also: Fansplaining - interpreting or teaching this lingo to an outsider.

368. Discompopulation
The fact that certain sets don’t have complete and meaningful population data due to PSA’s adjusted itemizing practices over time. Some notable examples being the 1962 regular and ‘green tint’ cards weren’t always counted as separate entities, and specific tobacco card backs weren’t always listed separately.

369. Double Schleopardy
When someone is being an argumentative d-bag in two different threads at the same time.

370. Regresstimate
When additional information (such as an unseen wrinkle or slight paper loss) comes to light about the card in a ‘guess the grade’ thread, and you have to reassess and lower your numerical prediction.

371. Edge Clippers
Kids who cut down larger cards back in the day to make them match the ‘new,’ standardized size of Topps cards.

See also: Reteamption (or Overclubbing) - an old card that has a traded player’s ‘new at the time,’ correct team written on it decades ago by a kid.

372. Pastronaut (also Hindsightseer)
Anyone who gets involved in the meaningless, theoretical argument of whether or not the all-time great players from the early 1900’s would be able to thrive in the modern era.

See also: Spew Colors - the ploy, yet again, of a self-important member who pompously thinks he wins the argument by pointing out how the great players of pre-1947 baseball never had to face any ballplayers of color, as if he’s saying something every single human being doesn’t already know.

See also: Faroffsighted - having such a love for the old time players, while knowing nearly nothing about what’s going on in the current game.

373. Plotonic
Reading a thread that, based on the title, is surely going to be another ranting disparagement of a seller or an auction house...only to find that no, in a plot twist no one saw coming, it’s one that actually affectionately praises them!!

374. Swashbackler
An avid enthusiast and collector of tobacco card backs.

375. Swingcognito (also Action Disfigure)
A Bobble Head or Starting Lineup that, if it didn’t have the player’s name displayed right on the front of it, you wouldn’t have a freaking clue who it was supposed to be.

See also: Plackadaisical - when you see the bronze plaques of certain Hall of Famers that are so awful looking, it seems as if the artists didn’t put any effort at all into creating the supposed likenesses.

376. Shred Man’s Hand
Cards that have obviously been trimmed (and doctored) to end up graded as PSA 8’s, when in reality they are nothing more than PSA 1’s.

377. Guffaw Poll (also Whoa! of Hands)
Seeing the numbers of a poll you participated in, and not understanding how in heck the people here could’ve possibly voted the way they did.

378. Err Quotes
A snarky member who quotes only a tiny portion of someone’s post, so they can take exception to it while ignoring the overall intent of said post.

379. Hocus Croakus
The supernaturally magical rise in demand of a player’s cards the moment he passes away.

380. Vexed to Last
When you still can’t afford to buy either of the final two cards needed to complete a set.

See also: Penultimuthah F*cker!!! - the scream coming out of anyone whose last two cards needed to finish the 1967 Topps set are the high numbered Rod Carew and Tom Seaver rookie cards.

See also: “Can't Set There From Here” - the way a southerner tells you you’ll never be able to complete a certain baseball card set.

381. Uppermohst
The position that a piece of Topps gum from a pack of baseball cards occupies on the hardness scale.

See also: Eschewing Glum - the feeling of disappointment the day Topps decided to stop including sticks of gum in trading card packs.

382. Greed Cavity (also Lacktivity)
That curiously empty space in front of a table at a very crowded, busy show that tells the observer the seller’s asking prices are just too exhorbitantly high for anyone to bother with.

383. Scantortionist
When a seller has obviously and deceptively photoshopped an image to make a card appear to be in much better shape than it really is, but an apologist jumps in to argue, “No, it’s just because of the scanner settings used.”

See also: Fapologist - someone who’s always such a vigorous defender of a bad apple in the hobby, that you know he’s looking at photos of that guy during his private ‘self-entertainment’ activities.

384. Poison Woke
An irritating post by a pea-brain who feels the need to purposely inject his pathetic ‘wokeness’ into a thread, when it has no business being there.

385. Endrunaissance
The start of the exciting new era when Fleer and Donruss were finally able to get around all of the Topps roadblocks and start widely distributing their new sets of cards.

386. Pathogenuine
A card that infuriates you, because without warning it came back as ‘Authentic Altered.’

387. Grintruders (also Sleepwalk-Ons)
Traveling secretaries, equipment managers and other randos who appear on team cards to fill some spaces.

388. “Of all the card joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine.”
The plaintive grumble issued by a seller when he catches a glimpse of a card show attendee who he’s had bad dealings with in the past.

389. Snake Belly
An off-centered card where the image is nearly falling off the bottom edge.

See also: Ceiling Fan - an off-centered card where the image is pushed up toward the top edge.

See also: Minor’easter - a card that is slightly off centered, pushed a little toward the bottom left corner.

See also: Leanness De Milo - a card that has undoubtedly been trimmed on the sides.

390. Biñata
The large plastic storage container at a show that is packed with inexpensive cards (which aren’t in toploaders) that are quickly getting destroyed by all the grubby hands rifling through them.

391. Bumping Off Point
The minimum increase in grade your card would need to receive in order to make a resubmission financially worthwhile.

See also: Resubmitzvah - cracking a card out of its slab, resubmitting it to the TPG and feeling blessed by the new, higher number it received.

392. Huebie Doo
Someone who is able to conclusively solve the mystery and tell you the card you’re asking about is real or fake, based solely on the colors and tones in play.

393. Gettysburger
Any card having an SGC 80 (“four score”) grade on the label.
Also used in some circles to indicate a grand slam home run.

394. Shamnesia
Accidentally buying a card from an absolutely disreputable seller who has been exposed time and time again, because you didn’t realize or forgot it was this seller.

395. Shillicon Tally
When a member outlines specifically how an expensive auction price was nefariously run up by conspirators.

396. Nonbindary
A collector who isn’t interested in completing full sets.

See also: Teamophiliac - a person whose collection is centered around grabbing cards from only one particular club.

397. Relish You Were Here (informal)
A thread where a member posts that he’s done being a member of net54, but you know damn well he’s going to quickly return to the thread to enthusiastically count the number of people imploring him to stay.

398. Winstability
When you enter a bid with only moments to go and the screen tells you you’re the high bidder...but there’s a few seconds left and you stare at the screen (even AFTER the auction ends) wondering if that’s going to suddenly change.

399. Choptimist
A person who while watching a video of an enthusiastic ‘rack pack rip’ harbors a secret desire for the guy to accidentally damage the cards or cut his finger as he wields the sharp scissors.

400. Hemingwaste
Someone writing a long, rambling, in-depth post who actually thinks he’s adding all sorts of insight to the thread, but when you’re done with it you realize, ”That’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”

401. FlipperSwiffer
A person getting a long-ago graded card reholdered in a clean new slab, for the express purpose of tricking potential buyers into thinking it was newly graded under ‘stricter’ guidelines.

402. Trademarquee
The large, unavoidable presence that the multiple branding imprints on modern cards have become, as all the TM and © symbols are impossible to ignore.

403. Rants in Your Pants
A member who seemingly out of nowhere starts bitterly complaining about someone or something.

404. Amelia Snarehart
Seeing a great card at a great price on eBay, so you immediately click ‘buy it now’...but as the page loads, it suddenly says “This listing has ended.” and you realize someone else swooped in and grabbed it...and this wondrous card has vanished right before your very eyes!!!

405. Pink Eye Appeal (or Eye Appall)
A card that a seller touts as having “Great eye appeal!!,” when everyone can plainly see it most certainly does not.

See also: Iconjunctivitis - a Hall of Famer card that sadly has really bad eye appeal.

406. Crow-tahni
A collector who loves talking up how Shohei Ohtani is the best thing since sliced bread.

See also: Dough-tahni - an optimistic collector who is extremely bullish on Shohei Ohtani, and is investing big time in his cards.

See also: Woe-tahni - a pessimistic collector who has no doubt that be it an injury or otherwise, Shohei Ohtani is headed for a big downfall.

See also: Yenigma - the odd status that the 1965 Topps #282 Masanori Murakami rookie card enjoys due to him being the first Japanese player to play for a Major League Baseball team.

407. Hit By Q-Pid’s Arrow
The newfound desire for cards with qualifiers in the current boom market, as they are now regularly selling for much larger sums than ever before.

See also: Flippery Slope - seeing all of the problems to come now that PSA has unilaterally decided to stop using qualifiers when grading cards.

408. Sniper Rash
The bitter irritation you feel after waking to find your sniping app failed to place your bids last night.

See also: GrabHub - any sniping tool app.

409. Grumballyhoo (also Grail Fraud)
Not understanding the unbridled adoration and enthusiasm for a certain set that is cherished by so many collectors, when you have no problem saying that it absolutely sucks.

410. Fold Blooded
A seller who doesn’t consider an obviously bent corner to be a crease or a wrinkle.

411. Remissing Link
When you run across a card on eBay that you’ve somehow never seen before...but it comes from a set you are highly familiar with.

412. Twerp Walk
When the feds make an arrest during the National and haul the miserable miscreant out in front of everyone.

413. Covidiocy
The newly emerged collecting ‘disease’ that has so insidiously infected the hobby, that reasonably affordable purchases for lifelong collectors have now become a thing of the past.

And I bid you adieu!!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 02-03-2022 at 12:51 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-13-2021, 07:05 AM
edhans's Avatar
edhans edhans is offline
Ed Hans
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Buffalo, N.Y.
Posts: 1,085
Default

Absolutely hysterical, Darren. I'm a #361.
__________________
Please visit my website at http://t206.monkberry.com/index.html
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-13-2021, 07:23 AM
mrreality68's Avatar
mrreality68 mrreality68 is online now
Jeffrey Kuhr
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 2,517
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gorditadogg View Post
Very well done, looking forward to more!

How about Jolly Elm disease, an affliction manifesting in a desire for miscut, OC and print error cards.

Or gorditadoggerel, a common result of trying to post a witty response on Net54.



Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Love the Jolly Elm Disease
__________________
Thanks all

Jeff Kuhr

https://www.flickr.com/photos/144250058@N05/

Kuhr@mac.com

Looking for
1920 Heading Home Ruth Cards
1921/22 Ruth Throwing Pose "Babe" and George
1921 Frederick Foto Ruth
1917 Boston Store Babe Ruth
Joe Jackson Cards 1916 Advertising Backs
1910 Old Mills Joe Jackson
1914 Boston Garter Joe Jackson
other Joe Jackson playing day cards
1908 Rose Postcard Ty Cobb
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-13-2021, 07:25 AM
mrreality68's Avatar
mrreality68 mrreality68 is online now
Jeffrey Kuhr
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 2,517
Default

FREAKING Fantastic

This is an amazing list.

THanks lot of time and fun into doing these.

Looking forward to you hitting the magic # of 1000 of these
__________________
Thanks all

Jeff Kuhr

https://www.flickr.com/photos/144250058@N05/

Kuhr@mac.com

Looking for
1920 Heading Home Ruth Cards
1921/22 Ruth Throwing Pose "Babe" and George
1921 Frederick Foto Ruth
1917 Boston Store Babe Ruth
Joe Jackson Cards 1916 Advertising Backs
1910 Old Mills Joe Jackson
1914 Boston Garter Joe Jackson
other Joe Jackson playing day cards
1908 Rose Postcard Ty Cobb

Last edited by mrreality68; 08-14-2021 at 03:24 PM. Reason: request by the original person
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 08-13-2021, 08:45 AM
effe's Avatar
effe effe is offline
John €ffenheim
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 434
Default

Love it
__________________
My website... http://johnswisports.com

Last edited by effe; 08-13-2021 at 03:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 08-13-2021, 09:58 AM
Yoda Yoda is offline
Joh.n Spen.cer
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,237
Default

Darren, these jewels comprise the best new dictionary since Dr. Johnson's.
It needs to be published. The world must know.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 08-13-2021, 02:16 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by edhans View Post
Absolutely hysterical, Darren. I'm a #361.
Go Bills!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 08-14-2021, 01:53 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrreality68 View Post
FREAKING Fantastic

This is an amazing list.

THanks lot of time and fun into doing these.

Looking forward to you hitting the magic # of 1000 of these
Be very, very, very careful what you wish for.
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 08-26-2021, 04:53 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

“Collecting isn't a word. It's a sentence”



I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part VIII (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)


***ALERT!!!!!!*** Before you do anything, scroll down to #424 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.

Don't mind that the world is falling to pieces around us. Avoid extreme temperatures and store this thread in a cool dry place. Caution: May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness or blurred vision. Yes, you will unquestionablysee yourself in this post


Yes, I am serious. And don't call me Shirley...



414. Shagtagged (also Extreme Forsakeover)
A card that has been ruined by someone drawing facial hair on the player.

See also: Abehorrent - when it’s just a beard that was scribbled on the card.

See also: Shorn Again - having to find an unmarked card for your set to replace the defaced one with the ersatz whiskers.

See also: Autograffiti - how a kid back in the day added his own handwritten version of the player’s signature to the front of a card.

415. Toppspoil (also Fanaticks)
The companies currently engaged in sucking the lifeblood out of the revered Topps Chewing Gum Company.

See also: Autoppsy - the various opinions of what led to the figurative death of the company.

416. Besmirchants
The oft-mentioned, high profile card peddlers that every single one of us knows deserve every last bit of crap that gets thrown at them.

See also: Ignoraphobia - the righteousness keeping good people from ever spending a dime with these filthy dealers.

See also: Snubmariner - a person whose eBay searches use the “Exclude” feature to simply cruise by all of those sellers’ offerings.

See also: Appease Artist - someone who has no problem purchasing cards from these guys.

417. Hostile Lurk Environment
When someone who hasn’t posted much at all suddenly starts appearing in multiple threads, throwing his outspoken opinions around.

418. Manurefracturers
Any of the card companies producing ornamentally elaborate modern day cards.

419. Hobbehemoths
All of the larger than life personalities who have been, for good or bad, illustrious presences in this hobby of ours over the years.

420. Mullman
A person who contacts you about a card you have available, and after you answer all of his questions, leaves you in limbo as he takes his own sweet time thinking the deal over.

421. Shrillenium
The growing anger that accompanies the continuously prolonged amount of time it takes for cards to finally come back from the grading company.

422. Mourning Track Power
Buying up cards of a very old former player, for the sole purpose of selling them at exorbitant prices on the gigantic bubble that will surely come after he passes away.

423. Burdiction
The terminology and catalogue vernacular developed by Jefferson Burdick.

See also: Songburdick (or ManiACC) - a fan singing the praises of Jefferson Burdick’s work on The American Card Catalog.

424. Scorched Mirth
A welcome and unexpected post in the middle of a very contentious thread which suddenly provides comic relief and brings smiles to people’s faces.

See also: Laftereffects - when other people follow suit and keep the light-hearted vibe going to ease the tension.

425. Second Scoregage
Spending a huge amount of money on a card, but feeling justified for the outlay, because you got a great deal on it.

426. Ruethanasia (informal)
The lamentable point you reach where a card is in such bad shape that you have no other option but to just throw it in the garbage and end the misery.

427. One-Way Streep (also Quid Pro Blo)
When a trader puts on a big performance trying to convince you you’re getting the better end of the deal he’s proposing...when it so obviously only favors him.

428. Ineleglance
A multi-player card where one of the subjects is plainly looking somewhere other than into the camera.

See also: Say Geez!! - the annoying reaction to seeing such a card and wishing the photographer had taken a ‘correct’ shot.

429. Texas Foilman
A fan of Curt Flood’s prominent role in the game-changing fight against baseball's reserve clause.

430. Looze Cruise
Eagerly traveling a long way to meet up with someone who’s selling a card or collection, but realizing upon finally seeing it in person that it’s nothing like it was ‘supposed’ to be.

431. Transbender
When a seller identifies a card as having “no creasing or wrinkles” in his post, but the shadows/reflections or other topography in the picture clearly indicates the presence of ripples.

432. First Come, First Verve
Although rookie cards were printed in the ‘same’ numbers as all of the other cards of a player during his career, the demand (and enthusiasm) for them is always exponentially greater.

433. Elmer Fuddy Duddy
Anyone who muses that ‘the thrill is in the chase,’ because what’s the point of anything if you never actually get the thing you’ve been hunting for forever?

434. Twofervor
The adoration of tobacco cards having parts of multiple names showing on top and bottom.

435. Mockpocket (slang)
That tauntingly disappointing empty space in your binder page representing a card you still don’t have for your set.

436. Chick Swing
That moment in adolescence when your focus suddenly changed from collecting baseball cards to going after girls.

437. Wear Freshener
Relatively non-controversial things (like soaking or removing stuck-on paper or album remnants) done to improve the look of a card.

438. Surrogreat (also Pinch Fitter)
The printout, photocopy or reprint of an expensive star card that you put in the pocket of your set binder in place of the original, which is kept safely stored elsewhere.

See also: Relief Picture - when the player on the card in question is a Hall of Fame pitcher.

439. The Ole Hunt n’ Grunt
The dedicated effort, rife with disappointment, of sitting down at a show and methodically going through the dealers’ 800 count boxes card by card, trying to track down ones in the right shape to fill holes in your sets.

440. Lackilles Heel
That card you can’t help but always search for, although you don’t believe for a moment you’ll ever find it.

441. Pre-Warbitrage
The simple fact that for countless reasons, the exact same tobacco card is worth greatly different amounts to different people at the same time.

442. Jumping the Won
Someone excitedly posting pics of a great new pickup BEFORE he actually has the card in hand.

443. Banarchist
A person who demands that players from long ago, as well as other issues, be judged based on present-day ‘outrages.’

444. Cowpie in the Sky
When you find out that the newfound card (or piece of memorabilia) you were very hopeful about is nothing more than a fantasy piece.

445. Discoverses
The wonderful stories recounting how you were able to land a card you are extremely happy to own.

See also: Passoverses - a sad narrative detailing a failed attempt to obtain a card you really, truly wanted.

446. Heard Mentality
The simple hobby 'facts' that may or may not be true, but which have always been accepted due to the constant retelling of them.

And I again wish you the very best!!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-16-2022 at 04:05 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 12-10-2021, 05:57 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

"Most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling, the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm collecting."

I present to you 2021's Collectorisms Part IX (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)

***ALERT!!!!!!*** This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #457 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here. Life is short, so grab the giggles while you still can!

This is a work of fiction, grammar Nazis, so if I wanted to write "raquelwelchisthehottestpieceofassinhistory" and use it as a verb, I could. Will most surely induce vomiting. Masks must be worn at all times while reading this. Please stand six feet back from your phone or computer, or you'll be sent away to a COVID re-education camp. No polar ice caps were affected while writing this post.


"I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life collecting cards, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible..."




447. Exgilaration (usually followed by a slew of exclamation points)
The unbounded thrill of Brooklyn Dodgers fans (or their now-middle-aged children) who have waited a lifetime to finally see Gil Hodges voted into the Hall of Fame.

See also: Olivator Shaft - The regret of missing out on picking up Tony Oliva cards cheaply, before the Hall of Fame vote caused a surge in pricing.

See also: Oliva Oil - the newly discovered and suddenly more valuable Tony Oliva cards found in your doubles or commons boxes.

See also: Kaaticombs - the recesses that you crawl through in your search for the hidden-away boxes that may contain old Jim Kaat cards.

448. Miyagi
A card with gum or wax residue on front that has turned nasty-looking over time, but you know it can be easily ‘waxed off.’

449. Protractivity
Posting a ‘for sale’ thread which is hardly getting any views...but once the card is gone and you change the title to include the word “SOLD,” the number of views suddenly surges upward.

See also: Sigh-onara - seeing “SOLD” next to a card you would have immediately jumped at had you seen it in time.

450. Bereaven-Steven
A trade made that includes you sadly parting ways with a card that you really wanted to hold onto.

451. Horizertical
The non-specific corner orientation of horizontal cards. If someone directs you to, say, a team card’s bottom right corner, does he mean the lower right corner when the card is positioned as it was meant to be looked at, or is he referring to the lower right corner as it sits vertically inside of a slab?

452. Up Slit’s Creek
The delicate, no-margin-for-error process of trying to successfully slide a card into a tight-fitting penny sleeve without chipping the card.

453. Swifteen Minutes (also No Maas)
The abbreviated time that the hot cards of rookies taking the baseball world by storm enjoy the limelight...before they inevitably drop off the face of the earth.

454. Mocknee Accent
The curious inclusion of the photographer’s leg in the picture on Dick Allen’s 1971 Topps card.

See also: Massachusetts Blobster Roll - the 1959 Fleer Ted Williams #34 “1947 - Ted Sets Runs-Scored Record” card.

See also: Say-Hey Crud - the oft-ridiculed fact that Topps surreptitiously snuck a sliding Willie Mays into Hank Aaron’s 1956 card.

455. Scheduality
The odd occurrence when both last month’s and this month’s ‘New Pickups’ threads are both active at the same time.

See also: Last Monther - someone who feels the need to explain that although he’s posting in the new pickups thread, he actually bought the card during the previous month.

456. Climbs Disease
The affliction of continually needing to upgrade your cards to higher slab numbers.

457. “Ashes to Ashes, Cardboard to Cardboard”
The depressing realization that at some point each of us is going to unknowingly be eligible for a “Sad News - (Your Name Here)” thread.

458. Signfailed (followed by the obligatory lip pops, tongue noises and other “organic human sounds” as a lead-in...)
A (theoretical?) thread centered around whether or not a vintage sign or advertisement piece is authentic.

See also: Jerrymanderer - a person starting this sort of thread who really works hard to persuade people to get on his side and agree with his conclusions.

See also: New, Man! - an annoying person who only shows up to exclaim it is nothing but a modern day creation or reproduction.

See also: George Bonanza - a member who is convinced it is the real thing and tells you so.

See also: George Lowcostanza - someone who doesn’t have a lot of faith in the piece and advises you to only buy it if it’s extremely cheap.

See also: Art Vandewayoff - anyone who doesn’t mince words and tells you it’s as fake as fake can be.

See also: Swoop Nazi - someone trying to beat everyone else to the punch by sending the OP messages with offers to buy the piece, because he’s convinced it’s real.

See also: Diskramer - a cautious person who feels it very well may be legitimate, but won’t fully commit until more evidence is provided.

See also: Elaincet (or Oppose Talker) - somebody poking holes in other people’s claims of authenticity or inauthenticity.

See also: Mockinaw Peaches - posts telling the OP there is no way in heck the piece is real, but said in an ostensibly sweet way.

See also: Babu Bhattshittcrazy (or Kenny Banyapper) - somebody who spouts all sorts of things that he thinks are relevant, but no one has any idea what he’s talking about.

See also: Sue Ellen Mischmaschke - someone who not only offers information pointing to it being legitimate, but at the same time also states reasons that might make it a fake.

See also: Anti-Dendrite (or Tim Whatleech) - someone who, for selfish reasons, hopes the thread doesn’t continue to branch outward and get exposed to other potential buyers.

See also: "J." Petermanifesto (or Bob Sacamaniacal) - a guy who takes no prisoners and goes on and on in letting everyone know that his opinion as to authenticity is the only one that matters.

See also: Scoffee Shop - the state the thread reaches as it begins to move away from a pursuit of information and degenerates into an insult fest.

See also: Viewer Shrinkage - as the thread devolves into nothing but a nasty argument, fewer and fewer members regularly check in for updates.

See also: Uncle Brio - somebody without an opinion of whether or not it is legitimate, but saying how awesome of a find it is.

See also: Lloyd Braunnoser - a person trying to get on the OP’s good side, hoping it’ll increase his chances of getting the piece off of him.

See also: Re-Grifter - someone who is certain it’s a fabrication, but wants to buy it cheaply so he can sell it elsewhere as ‘real’ and make a huge profit.

See also: The Bubble-Burst Boy - a guy who offers ‘drop the mic’ proof that the piece is indeed a fake.

459. Flipreader
Someone who’s able to tell you what year a card was graded by examining the layout, typeface, cert number, and other information found on the slab.

460. Plastic Cageism
The bias associated with the older, cheap looking PSA labels which causes the cards housed within them to sell for less than their newer counterparts.

461. Shirtchanged (also Alley-Oops-a-Daisy)
The bizarre practice of Topps showing basketball players with their uniform tops on backwards, so their last names were visible.

See also: Jerseething - the weird annoyance at seeing such cards.

462. Thingamajignorant
When you don’t know what the various types of baseball card supplies - like penny sleeves, toploaders, snaptites, pocket pages, screw downs, corrugated boxes, team bags, etc. - are specifically called.

463. Slab Blind
Being so enthralled and focused on the beauty of a card that you don’t even notice the blatant damage and/or blemishes, like cracks or frosting, on the case itself.

464. Ōm Plate
The fact that looking through your baseball card collection will always give you the feeling of peace and serenity you’re craving at that moment.

See also: Winner Sanctum - the blessed feeling of joy as you sit alone in a comfy chair admiring your fantastic new auction pick-up.

465. Mold Gold (also Wönderbond (Ger.))
The various sets of cards issued by bread companies.

See also: Flourdough - a seriously valuable bread company card.

See also: Bond Bombshell - any newfound information that helps advance our knowledge of the prized, late-40’s Jackie Robinson set.

466. Vignorance (also Semantax)
The realization that after agreeing on a price for a card at a show, the ‘real’ price turns out to be completely different, because taxes and fees had to be added due to the use of a credit card.

467. Back Roads Scholar
Someone who enjoys researching, discussing and seeking to visit the former sites of long forgotten baseball stadiums.

468. Scanicure
The slow, gentle pushing of your fingernail into the side of a card to get a lift and remove it from the static cling of the scanner bed without causing any damage to it.

See also: Axtraction - when pushing your fingernail too hard into the side of a card causes chipping or makes the layers of cardboard separate.

469. Double-Edder
The inescapable inclination to accidentally say “Eddie Murphy” when meaning to say “Eddie Murray.”

470. Shoddy Doubles
Having two of each of the checklists when building a set - one to be marked up and used as an actual checklist, and the other to be left unblemished for posterity.

471. Doubt of Focus
Not being able to decipher which of the jumble of helmeted players in the action shot on a football card is the player whose card it is.

See also: Bailoutfit - by looking at the team name on the card, you can match up the color of the uniform in the photo to zero in on the correct player.

472. Augmensch
Someone who is able to add all sorts of extra enjoyment to a card by relating background stories or bits of trivia about the player or the card itself.

473. Buyerarchy
The order in which each individual collector personally places each of the fundamental card assessment elements - centering, corners, image clarity, print quality, etc. - from most important to least important, when purchasing cards.

474. Sword of Damosleaze (myth.)
The fear and anxiety that looms over every seller who sends cards through the mail to winning bidders, never being safe from a shyster pulling an ‘although the tracking says it arrived, it didn’t’ or ‘the card arrived damaged’ scam.

475. Battrition
The sad fact that the dais at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony has fewer and fewer all-time greats on it each year.

See also: Pinchtributor - a relative of a deceased enshrinee who takes the stage to give the Hall of Fame acceptance speech.

476. Shortslighted
The frustrated realization that until you had the card in hand, you didn’t know the 1975 Topps you bought was actually a 1975 Topps Mini.

See also: Double-Shorted - how expensive the 1975 Brett, Yount, Rice and Carter cards become for HOF rookie card collectors, since you have to buy two of each, a regular and a mini.

See also: Smallevolence (or Minipulator) - a seller purposefully listing a card as a regular “1975 Topps,” and not as a “1975 Topps Mini.”

477. Shrugly Duckling
A card that turns out to be ‘not as described’ when you receive it, but since the price still works for the actual condition it is in, you decide it’s best to just keep it and avoid going through the hassle of seeking a refund.

478. “Loose Lips Sink Flips.”
The time honored maxim that it is best not to be too forthcoming in letting people know what hard-to-find cards you’re actively pursuing, because anyone having one of those cards will know they now have you over a barrel.

479. Double-Bummer
A low grade card that also has a qualifier on the label.

480. Fake Schmooze
Dealers at card shows who are obviously only being nice to you in an attempt to talk you into overpaying for something on their table.

481. Pollacrity
When people, instead of answering honestly, purposely vote a certain way in a poll just to be d-bags and mess up the results.

482. Loverturner (or Yupender)
Collectors who jubilantly flip a card over to read the back and look at the cartoon

See also: Learnover - finding interesting things on a back of a card that you hadn’t known before.

483. Mathematricks (or Laughtermath)
The purposeful use of only outlier data by someone trying to convince you that the card he is offering in a trade is equal to the high value card of yours he’s looking to score.

484. Quintuple Dribble
The astounding fact that the entire starting lineup pictured on 1972 and 1973 Topps New York Knicks cards are all Hall of Famers.

See also: Septuple Dribble - when the cards of Phil Jackson and Jerry Lucas are also included.

485. Grincomplete (also Shundamental)
Being completely satisfied in considering your set complete without ever worrying about trying to obtain any of the impossible-to-get cards like the T-206 “Big 4” or 1952 Topps high numbers.

See also: Basis Full - whether it’s the lack of high numbers, variations or other things, what each collector personally considers to be ‘close enough’ to a complete set for them individually.

See also: Reign of Error - knowing you’ll never be able to afford either of the T-206 Sherry “Magie” or Joe Doyle “N.Y. NAT’L” variations.

486. Shortwaives
Players who shoulda/coulda/woulda been Hall of Famers, but their careers were curtailed by serious injuries.

See also: Shortcrave - final career statistics aside, the belief that these superstars still deserve enshrinement based on their somewhat abbreviated accomplishments.

See also: Formattingly - any supporter of Donnie Baseball’s enshrinement.

See also: Balking Wounded - cards of football players who were ‘sure-fire’ Hall of Famers early on, but career ending/altering injuries forever derailed their enshrinement.

487. Minibum
Someone who knowingly sells trimmed cards.

See also: Rpoff Artist - a seller who either disguises the fact that a card is a reprint, or whose only reference to it being so is an easily-missed “RP” notation in the description.

488. Statistics Schmatistics
Being careful with what the figures actually tell you. For instance, a quarterback flipping the ball forward an inch to a player who takes it 99 yards to the house, gets credit for a 99 yard TD pass, and a can-of-corn out in one old baseball stadium would have been a home run in a different one.

489. Technicalithief (also Pinielling Lies (colloquialism))
A seller deceptively calling a card a rookie card (which it technically is), when the player’s actual rookie card was the one he was pictured on in a previous year.

See also: Enemasquerade - getting screwed over by not realizing that this card is a faux rookie card.

490. Tape Saint
Anyone who deliberately folds over the corner of the tape used to seal a toploader, so the person receiving the card can immediately open it without vainly scraping their fingernails across it trying to lift a corner.

See also: My Blue Tape Heaven - opening a mailer to see the sender used easily-removable painter’s tape to secure everything, and your immediate thought is, “This guy gets it.”


Now that you've wasted time reading this, go give someone a needed hug!!
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-17-2022 at 06:52 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 12-11-2021, 11:32 AM
Yoda Yoda is offline
Joh.n Spen.cer
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,237
Default

Ah, Darren, what do you do in your spare time?
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 12-13-2021, 02:22 PM
Leon's Avatar
Leon Leon is offline
Leon
peasant/forum owner
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: near Dallas
Posts: 31,697
Default

Nicely done.
__________________
Leon Luckey

Last edited by Leon; 02-03-2022 at 01:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 12-13-2021, 02:29 PM
perezfan's Avatar
perezfan perezfan is offline
M@RK ST€!NBERG
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 6,633
Default

We need more Tape Saints in the hobby. That's a courtesy you see maybe 1 in 100 times.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 12-13-2021, 02:38 PM
butchie_t butchie_t is offline
Butch T.
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Colorado
Posts: 597
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by perezfan View Post
We need more Tape Saints in the hobby. That's a courtesy you see maybe 1 in 100 times.
Amen to that statement.
__________________
“Man proposes and God disposes.”
U.S. Grant, July 1, 1885

Completed: 1969 - 2000 Topps Baseball Sets and Traded Sets
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 03-18-2022, 05:49 AM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

"Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a card collector."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 1 of 3 (Yes, I've developed enough material to turn this new section into a trilogy*...so stay tuned!!)

***ALERT!!!!!!*** This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #512 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here. Life sucks, so grab yourself some yuks!

This is a work of fiction. Do not read this post if you are currently taking a drug for depression. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Please do not eat the urinal cakes.


"Lord loves a working man, don’t trust Whitey (Ford)..."



*And like 'The Godfather' trilogy, you'll love some of it, hate some of it and will ultimately end up screaming, "When in high f*ck is this thing finally going to end???!!!!!!"




491. Cravin'-It Emptor
When your unbridled desire for a card causes you to be unaware of all of the red flags pointing to it being a scam.

492. Sacrificial Jam
Stuffing random cards you couldn’t care less about into each end of a vintage set box to act as a buffer and protect the ‘good’ cards from getting damaged.

493. Stampire
A tobacco card collector who preys on finding ones with specific stampings on them.

494. Leap Frauds
The hackers and scammers who continue to jump from one platform or account to another after being exposed time and time again.

See also: Whack-A-Troll - the endless pursuit of warning other collectors about new scam artists appearing on the scene.

See also: Scamster Wheel - the scumbag mindset of always searching for new and innovative ways to rip off people.

495. Schlock Photos
The generic, traditional poses used time and time again by Topps and other baseball card companies.

Flesh Rhombus
A pitcher with his hands and mitt above his head, elbows pointing outward, to mimic the start of a wind-up.

Grass Squat
A catcher devoid of equipment and nowhere near home plate, crouching down in the middle of the field to receive a pitch that will surely never come.

Stretch Strong-Arm
A pitcher who’s leaning far forward with his pitching hand outstretched, mimicking the end of his release.

See also: Sleepbalker - when the hurler, seemingly in a daze, is still firmly holding the ball in his outstretched hand.

See also: Bringing the Greet - when this pitcher is also smiling happily at the camera.

Batting Trance
An expressionless hitter forced to stand in the ‘ready’ position, looking at the camera with his bat up, waiting for a phantom pitch to come.

Longholler
A manager with his hand next to his mouth pretending to be shouting out instructions to his players.

Sir Lanceswat
A player majestically gripping his ‘wooden sword’ with two hands while directing it at, or in the general direction of, the camera, so it appears to be coming right at the viewer.

See also: Knights of Columberus - a group of these types of cards.

Moundticipation
A slightly crouched pitcher with his hand and mitt at the ready, apparently either waiting for the ball to be tossed back to him by the catcher or preparing to field a come-backer.

Hatless Couture
The standard close-up head shot of a player not wearing a cap, which purposely eliminates any hint of which team he plays for.

See also: Chinchilling - a closeup of a player casually looking skyward, chin jutting out with only the underside of his cap brim visible, so the team logo remains unseen and unknown.

Wadworker
A card showing the player with a huge gob of tobacco stuffed in his cheek.

See also: Chawtograph - any signed Nellie Fox card.

Foul Haul
An player with his mitt near the grass, pretending to backhand a non-existent ball while clearly standing in foul territory.

Crouch Potato
A hunched-over infielder looking at the camera with his hands and mitt primed to scoop up a grounder hit directly at him.

Knobster
The self-assured, ready for the coming fight pose of gripping the bat with two hands as it rests upon a shoulder, knob bottom facing the camera.

Gutclench
A hurler at a full stop in the ‘set’ position, hand grasping the ball inside of his mitt at his stomach, stoically looking off to read the catcher’s signs or slyly keep a runner in check.

496. Optimullet
A card that is optimally beautiful when looked at from the front, but when you flip it over there are significant problems on the back.

See also: Hind Thwarters - a visually gorgeous card in a slab that has a lower grade (or qualifier) based solely on an otherwise ‘unseen’ issue on the reverse.

See also: Stainted Love - a card that looks beautiful on front, but has a dark, egregious, unremovable gum stain on back.

497. Popanoia
The unshakeable feeling in your gut that the graders at any TPG literally don’t want your cards to receive high numbers.

498. Crumb-Drops
Anytime someone bumps a for sale thread with a declaration of “PRICE DROP,” when it’s nothing but a slight, insignificant reduction in price.

See also: Dropportunity (or Bump Jump) - when the latest lowered price on a card is finally attractive enough for you to pull the trigger.

See also: Flies on the Prize - the acute awareness that all sorts of other collectors are buzzing around, primed to zip in and beat you to it when the price drops to the right level.

See also: Slash Bash - a thread where the seller has a wide variety of cards listed and lowers the price on ‘everything that still remains.’

See also: Slabtain Obvious - if any graded card remains unsold in the B/S/T after a short while, it simply means the asking price doesn’t correspond closely enough to any recent sales price data.

499. James Banned
A collector of players who have been banished in some way from the major leagues or are otherwise found on baseball's ineligible list.

See also: Bitter Batter Bettor Barter (tongue twister) - any trade involving a Pete Rose card.

500. Tuxidermy
Any card sitting inside of an elegant, black and white SGC slab.

See also: Black Slab Affair - how exquisite a group of cards looks housed in these SGC holders.

501. Frontalbacks
Cards having wet sheet transfers on them.

502. Parkaeologist
Someone who is able to deftly analyze the visual clues hidden inside of a photograph to determine what old baseball stadium the picture was taken in.

See also: Circa-Catch - when said clues also indicate, within a close proximity, the year in which the photo was taken.

503. Jeepers Keepers
Having two of the same card, both having relatively minor, but different, flaws or drawbacks, and you go back and forth trying to decide which of the pair is the ‘better’ one to hold onto.

504. Redruelin’ (slang)
Memories of begging your dad to hit the gas station, even when the tank was full, because you were salivating over getting your hands on more of the football or hockey stamps they gave away free with each visit.

See also: Gas Brags - kids who pridefully showed off all of the service station stamps they were able to accumulate.

505. Buy Diver (also George Washington Conniver)
Economics 101 aside, someone who’s always listing cards at sky high prices, but when he contacts you about one of yours, he insists on getting it for mere peanuts.

506. Ghostboxed
Opening a newly delivered auction win, only to find you were presumably sent an empty package by the seller himself, because there is no evidence of tampering present anywhere on the mailer.

See also: Empty Jester - a seller who perpetrates such a fraud.

507. Valchemist
Someone trying to turn cardboard into gold by pricing an SGC or BVG card at the much higher value of what the same card with the same number would go for in a PSA holder.

508. Holigraze (also Thankstaking Feast)
The great purchases you’re able to make, because ‘no one’ else is paying attention to eBay that day due to it being a major holiday or some other attention-grabbing event or occurrence is taking place.

See also: “Auld Lang Mine!” - a seriously great pickup made on one of those days.

See also: Grafternoon Delight - feeling like you commited a crime, because you won a card at such a low price only because of the early, extremely-low-traffic time of day the auction ended.

509. CSI-Don’t-Think-So!
The shock of seeing an eBay seller wearing serious medical or museum curator quality gloves while holding the card in the auction pic, and immediately knowing this thing is gonna be way beyond your budget.

510. Packne Scar
When a supposedly reputable seller of unopened material’s reputation becomes sullied due to a highly visible mistake.

511. Evolutionary Cardwinism
The incrimental change in valuation from, say, a Hank Aaron card being worth, “My friend’ll give me three Mets for it! Dyn-o-mite!!!” when you were a kid, to putting it under a blacklight to root out any unseen flaws, using calipers to measure centering, and so on, to formulate a specific monetary dollar value for it today.

512. Puncertainty Principle
The fact that whenever a thread is meant to be, or turns out to be, humorous, one thing is undoubtable - as the witty remarks come, trite plays on words and double entendres will abound.

513. Wahoo-Turn
Trading for a Sam Crawford card.

See also: Love ‘em and Heave ‘em - a trade including a Paul Casanova or Ron Darling card.

514. Thievesdropping
Auctions employing deceptive tactics to meet hidden reserves.

515. Window Hopping
When you have nothing against a particular seller in the B/S/T, but you know everything he lists is very overpriced, so you just skip past his FS threads as you’re looking for cards to buy.

516. Ex-Postage-Facto
The listing of a single card for sale at, say, $50, then including at the very end of the post, “Add $4 shipping,” instead of just saying, “$54 Dlvd.” right at the top to begin with.

517. Slabbetizer
A card or autograph which has gotten a PSA ‘Quick Opinion’ or Beckett ‘Raw Card Review.’

518. Pokémonstrosity
The disappointment of walking into a baseball card show to find that 95% of the tables are hawking nothing but modern day items and non-sport cards.

See also: Pika-ching! - a quite valuable Pokémon card.

See also: Yenolds Rap - happily belting out the beats after you’ve ripped a pack and acquired a very pricey foil parallel card.

519. Fool’s Sold
Adding a new post to your own thread (that everyone is now forced to read) to declare that the card has been sold, instead of simply editing the title to reflect this fact.

520. Bickerton Annoyance Ratio (BAR)
A mathematical assessment of a net54 member’s overall nuisance factor, stated in the argument to post quotient of b = a ÷ r, wherein a = the total number of posts by a member in a single month that are argumentative, contrarian or otherwise negative, and r = the total number of all posts by said member in the month.

See also: Hyber (palatalization of “High BAR”) - anyone with a BAR that doesn’t have a minimum of one or two zeros to the immediate right of the decimal point.

See also: Flaming Snowball - like the proverbial snowball endlessly rolling down the hill, someone who never tires of being argumentative in seemingly every thread in which he appears.

See also: Reverse Avalanche - the people who plainly have had more than enough, and start loudly telling ‘Mr. Snowball’ to go back from whence he came.

521. Grody to the Packs! (informal)
A great enthusiasm for 1980’s-era junk wax.

See also: Hijunx - the sheer delight of ripping open any wax pack from any manufacturer from any year.

522. Moppetroglyphs
The random words, numbers, etc., written on a card by a kid back in the day.

See also: Boyjotting - attempting to decipher, when not readily apparent, the possible meaning of, or the reasoning behind, the specific scribblings on an old card you own.

See also: Defacelift - any attempt to remove ink or pencil marks from a card.

523. Rubicontract
The implied agreement that once the ‘official’ taped seal securing a card inside of a toploader is breached, any attempts to return the card to the seller for a refund are null and void.

524. Float Earthers
Rookie cards, leaders cards, or team cards that picture nothing but the disembodied heads of the players.

See also: Heliuminary - when one of these ‘hovering heads’ is an all-time great.

525. Auction Grouse
Anyone who rightfully badgers an auctioneer to take down a deceptively-listed item currently active and being bid on.

526. The Odes of March
Warm remembrances of your youthful self being all excited that winter was finally abating and the turning weather meant a new baseball season was on the horizon.

527. “You never walk into the same card show twice”
A time-honored expression marking the fact that the beloved hobby is and always will be in a perpetual state of change.

528. Killebrewmaster
An ardent collector of all things Harmon Killebrew.

529. Theoretical Bizz-Assist
Someone expressing their strong opinions on what exact changes must be made to a TPG’s business model to help right the ship.

530. Brandwagoner
A collector who suddenly becomes interested in the charms of an old set from a secondary manufacturer that other people have been marveling about forever.

531. A Life Sentence for Driving 56 MPH (metaphor)
The ludicrous assertion that the sins of players who completely ruined the very meaning of statistics due to a daily diet of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) are somehow comparable to players who popped stimulants in the old days.

532. Potato Sacker
An ardent collector of 1968 Topps cards.

See also: Burlapses - the empty spaces in the pages of your 1968 Topps set binder.

See also: Knit Captivating - Johnny Bench’s appearance on his rookie card.

533. Coroner’s Tablers
Fans of the cold, dull, gray 1970 Topps set.

534. Kiblitzer (yiddish)
Someone who seemingly has a front row seat to every thread in the B/S/T, and buys up everything before anyone else has a chance to even view it.

535. Primarinara
The extra ‘sauce’ of value that is associated with a card being numerically first in a set.

See also: Primarigold - one of these cherished cards that is in fantastic shape.

536. Coin Flakes
Any prized and valuable card that was originally found inside of, or printed on, a box of cereal.

See also: The Breakfast Snub (or “Snap, Crackle, Flop”) - the complete letdown of your young self digging through a box of Kellogg’s to get to the 3-D treasure at the bottom...only to find the card is a random player you’ve never heard of on a team you have no interest in.

537. Perfecstration
The irritation of trying to remove a newly delivered card from an overly snug ‘Perfect Fit’ sleeve without causing damage.

538. Zamcronies (also Wintree-Huggers)
Avid collectors of hockey cards and memorabilia.

See also: Smugshots - the smiling, toothless faces pictured on any vintage penalty minutes leaders hockey card.

539. Packwards
Describing a card that was never issued in packs as “Pack Fresh!”

See also: Fresh Cents - the use of “Freshly Graded!!” in a listing, in the strange hope that those words alone will help the card sell for more money.


End of section 1, so go take care of your St. Patty's Day hangover...
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 03-24-2022, 04:00 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

"When I buy a new set, I look at the last card first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 2 of 3


"I made him an offer on a card he couldn't refuse..."


540. Jiggle Junkie
A spirited collector of Jell-O cards and boxes.

See also: Dessert Chopping - any card cut from a Jell-O box.

See also: Snipped Cream - a valuable card cut from a Jell-O box.

See also: Wiggle Warrior - a person always in pursuit of advancing the collecting community’s knowledge and understanding of vintage Jell-O sets.

541. Gloatin’ Free
The showing off of great cards, not because of some self-serving ‘look at me’ mindset, but simply because you know other collectors really enjoy seeing them.

See also: Gemissary - a high-minded collector who derives great pleasure from seeing other people’s enjoyment of his rare ‘jewels.’

542. Tedhead
An enthusiastic collector, follower and enthusiast of all things Theodore Samuel Williams.

See also: Ted Honcho - any very rare or valuable Ted Williams card.

See also: Ted Fake - momentarily thinking you hit it big by scoring a 1959 Fleer Ted Williams #55 ‘1955 - Ted Decides Retirement Is “No Go”‘ card...until you realize that although Ted sits in street clothes at a table next to an executive with papers to sign, it is not the coveted #68 ‘Jan. 23, 1959 - Ted Signs For 1959’ card.

543. Quadroptics
The quick, involuntary way your eyes inspect a card by focusing first on a single corner area, then moving on to the next one as you go around the horn examining all four corners to make an overall assessment of the card’s condition.

See also: Bumper Snicker - the reaction to discovering three beautiful corners in a row, only to find the last one viewed is dinged, rounded or overly soft.

544. Lickety-Split Personality
Someone who puts a tremendous amount of importance on receiving his auction wins as quickly as humanly possible.

See also: Grab Lag - when checking on the delivery status of a card, and it continually says “SHIPPING LBL CREATED USPS AWAITS ITEM” and never seems to advance into the “USPS IN POSSESSION OF ITEM” phase.

545. Two-Card Garage
Any TPG slab that wasn’t created to specifically house a certain sized card, so it remains unsecured, sliding around inside of the expansive holder.

546. Amazenith
The ridiculous, over-the-top high prices of cards listed on Amazon.

547. “When I say bump, you say how many times!”
The seeming arrogance of members sending their threads to the top much too often for anyone’s liking.

548. Sourglow
When putting a card under a blacklight reveals hidden problems or evidence of doctoring that you were unaware of.

549. Kigh Anxiety
The distress felt by any well-versed baseball fan upon hearing Kiki Kuyler’s name once again being mispronounced.

550. Bad Breadth
A card notorious for ‘always’ being terribly off-centered to one particular side.

See also: East-Slider - one seemingly found 99% of the time with the image just about falling off the right side of the card.

See also: West-Slider - one seemingly found 99% of the time with the image just about falling off the left side of the card.

See also: The Overly Brothers - the other cards that shared the same row on the print sheet and sing from the same excessively off-centered songbook.

551. Undeadline
The continually reanimated ending time of an auction with “extended bidding” rules in play.

552. Backpedestaling
The act of quickly hiking the prices of cards to reflect the newfound status of an old ballplayer who has finally become a Hall of Famer, a marked change from him sitting in the ‘dollar box’ just a week earlier.

553. Flip Floptimistic
A person hoping the prices of the cards he wants to buy drop back down to pre-COVID levels, while also wishing the prices of the cards he wants to sell continue to rise exponentially.

See also: “The best day to sell your cards is yesterday.” (adage) - the unavoidable fact that when you finally decide to auction off your cards to take advantage of crazily high prices, the market will always drop the moment you list them.

554. Etchebarrened
The surprise of seeing a player on an old card wearing a uniform number that has been forever intrinsically linked to an all-time great who played for the team later on.

555. Boxymoron
The odd absurdity of blacking in the box on a checklist card which is the number of the very checklist card you are holding in your hand and marking.

556. Pacademic
An expert at identifying and categorizing vintage baseball card wax pack wrappers.

557. Niels Bohring
Anyone whose assessment of players from long ago is focused solely on cold, hard stats, while ignoring all of the non-tangible and emotional aspects of the game, like what their contemporaries said about them as players, teammates and rivals.

See also: Bay of Prigs - a group of such people.

558. Hubbug Out
Seeing a beautiful, newly listed card at such a great price that you’re basically knocking things over as your hand races to click on the auction and hit ‘Buy-It-Now’ before someone else beats you to it.

559. Joining Hate Watchers
Sitting on the couch, stuffing your face with junk food as you tune into a game for no other reason than to loudly root against the team and players who knocked your favorite team out of the playoffs.

See also: “The eliminator of my team’s eliminator is my friend” - no matter how much you despise a certain team, once they step up and defeat the squad who sent your team packing, you immediately give them a hearty thumbs up.

See also: Human Anti-Bradys - all of the people across the world who shout to the heavens year after year beseeching the gods to deliver Tom Brady a loss on Super Bowl Sunday.

See also: Winoculation - how some of the storied NFL franchises seem to have an immunity to becoming Super Bowl champions.

560. Ignormalcy
How placing the right member on your ‘ignore’ list returns a sense of harmony to the site and increases your enjoyment of it exponentially.

See also: Quotetails - when someone quotes one of those guys in their post, so you are forced to see whatever garbage is coming out of his keyboard now.

See also: Dismishugener (yid.) - the gumption of someone who is found on countless members’ ‘ignore’ lists talking about the members he himself put on his own ‘ignore’ list.

561. Wear is Over (If You Want it)
Since modern day pack rippers completely ignore everything but the ‘money’ cards, which are immediately put into protective toploaders or albums before quickly being sent off to be graded, there will never again be stacks of cards showing the traditional wear and tear from kids excitedly, repeatedly handling them.

See also: Packslabbing - removing new cards from packs and immediately getting them ready to be sent off for grading.

562. Chaperonus (more familiarly Chaperanus)
Someone who feels it’s his duty to constantly complain about threads that he alone feels are posted in the wrong sections.

563. Replicandy
The magnificent cards that you have multiple copies of.

564. Centerrifical Force
The way your eyes immediately tell you if a card is rightfully centered enough for you personally, independent of what other collectors or TPGs may think.

565. Teambiguous
Looking at a card where the player can be found as a member of one of two different clubs, but you can’t recall if the one you’re viewing is the prized variation or the ‘normal’ one.

566. Crock and Pull Story
Someone joyously posting a card in the new pickups thread with a story about how excited he is to finally have one and it took forever to finally pull the trigger, etc...then a few scant days go by and you see he has the card for sale in the B/S/T section.

567. Strike Hike
How a dealer insists on getting the much better end of whatever trade deal may be struck at a card show, and cites a litany of reasons for it, such as the cost of his table, he’s there to make a profit, etc.

See also: Trytanic - when your perceived ‘low ball’ offer on a tremendously overpriced card at a show is met with nothing but an icy stare of death from the dealer.

568. Upsidentical Twin
An otherwise high-grade card that has a small, but fatal, flaw (such as a pinhole or writing) that you grab, because the trade-off of paying just a fraction of the price of what one without such a defect costs is too good to pass up.

See also: Ninesense - smartly grabbing a high grade card with a qualifier, because the visual difference between it and a straight grade is minute enough that spending a crapload more on one without the qualifier would be idiotic.

569. Sugarcoaxing
The emerging practice of craftily listing a card on eBay at a low Buy-It-Now price to draw buyers in, only for them to discover that the ridiculously exorbitant shipping cost actually makes the final price higher than the ‘expensive’ listings of the same card.

See also: Ployboy - a seller who works this kind of scheme.

570. Brandy New Collector
Anyone who has returned to the hobby after a long time away and is so drunk with enthusiasm that he makes all sorts of rookie mistakes right out of the gate.

See also: Empty Feathering-the-Nester - someone who has cleared out his entire collection...only to suddenly find himself buying a coveted card and jumping right back into the collecting game again.

571. PTVSD (Post-Trade-Value Stress Disorder)
How a trade you made many years ago, which in the end proved to be a horrendously bad move, still haunts you to this very day.

572. Windy-Wendy
A San Francisco Giants enthusiast with a special affection for all things Candlestick Park.

See also: Fenwicked - for good or bad, any of the momentous baseball events that took place on Boston’s home turf.

See also: Soapbronxing - anyone expressing his undying adoration for the New York Yankees team or players.

573. Stamp Scamp
Someone immediately looking at the cost of the postage on a mailer he received, then doing the quick math in his head to see if the shipping cost (plus materials, etc.) charged by the seller was close enough to be considered fair.

See also: Mailarkey - when the shipping charge proves to be nothing short of a rip-off.

See also: Bendvelope - a mailer contaning a card inside of a flexible Card Saver holder with nothing else used as a stiffener to better protect the cargo.

574. Musialeum
A collection of ‘Stan the Man’ cards and memorabilia.

575. Barefaced Buy
The purchase of a 1967 Topps ‘Who Am I?’ card where the creative ‘disguise coating’ had been scratched away long ago.

576. April Scour (also Spring Bling)
How a player’s card became hugely desirable to kids as they ripped open new packs searching for it the spring following his incredible exploits in last year’s regular season, playoffs or World Series.

See also: Zoilologist - someone eagerly trying to get his hands on one of these new, highly sought-after cards.

See also: Donlarceny - the act of taking advantage of someone else’s newfound fervency and scoring great cards off of him by trading one of your ‘new hero’ doubles.

577. Casual Loathing
Not being a fan of Babe Ruth cards and memorabilia where he is dressed in street clothes and not in his legendary baseball uniform.

See also: Mis-Taking Identity (or Ruth-Less Seller) - someone pretending to be slyly ‘unaware’ that the card he’s selling with a label stating it is Babe Ruth pictured on it, clearly shows someone other than ‘The Babe.’

578. Slabdication
When the anger over ridiculously long delays, coupled with the grading company’s poor attitude towards its own customers, grows so intense that you swear you will never spend another dime sending cards their way.

See also: The Vainglory of their Times - the smugness of PSA not giving a rat’s ass about the pathetic length of time it takes for them to grade and return the cards of loyal customers.

579. Omentum
When an auction has such an unusual amount of early activity/bidding that it serves as a bad sign that the price of the lot is going to be driven much higher than you could’ve imagined.

580. Fuzzcuts
The roughly sliced edges of O-Pee-Chee cards.

581. Whale Grail
When a pick-up is so epic that neither “White Whale” nor “Holy Grail” comes close enough to describing how magnificent of a grab it is.

See also: Gloatation Device - a card or piece of memorabilia so monumental that not a single person will ever take exception to the owner loudly boasting about it.


End of section 2, so keep mining for gold so you can afford to fill up your gas tank...
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 03-31-2022 at 04:44 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 03-25-2022, 09:28 AM
Leon's Avatar
Leon Leon is offline
Leon
peasant/forum owner
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: near Dallas
Posts: 31,697
Default

Nice update, Darren,

I especially like this one as I do it daily

See also: Gloatation Device - a card so monumental that not a single person will ever take exception to the owner loudly boasting about it.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg tyt205.jpg (177.2 KB, 178 views)
__________________
Leon Luckey
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 03-25-2022, 09:54 AM
3arod13 3arod13 is online now
Tony Baldwin
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 239
Default

This is amazing, funny, and so true in many cases. Great job!
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 03-31-2022, 06:38 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

"Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Collectorisms-man!!"

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part X - Section 3 of 3


"Never trust a card collector who says he isn't angry..."


582. Tacticalculus
Quickly crunching the numbers to determine if the price of an ungraded card is a good deal, based on what its value would be if it came back from a TPG at the grade it ‘unquestionably deserves.’

583. Freewheeler-Dealer (also Shopcreeper)
Someone who contributes nothing to the site and is only here to continually tally up sales by peddling their cards in the B/S/T marketplace without having to worry about paying fees to do so.

See also: Vulture Club - a group of such members.

584. Lessing in Disguise
When purchasing a card outside of eBay or an auction house, the wonderful surprise of finding that tax isn’t being added to the final price at check-out.

585. Data Maligning
The refusal to believe or accept that the low price numbers of the past sales statistics you are looking at truly reflect how little your card is ‘worth.’

586. Clapprehension
When someone excitedly posts a new pick-up, but since you are unfamiliar with the card, the set or the player, you have no idea how big your reaction should be.

587. Timefoolery
Running across an old ad or catalog for ‘The Card Collector's Company’ (or other such places) from the 60’s or 70’s and immediately getting lost in imagining how great it would be to go back in time and buy up everything at those incredible prices.

588. Grass Half Empty
Any card or photograph which allows you to catch a glimpse of how awful the field conditions got back in the old days.

589. Upshelfing
When a seller describes a graded card using verbiage such as “Only 15 higher!!” in an attempt to give it some sort of additional prominence it doesn’t deserve.

590. Slit-Talker
Someone who is well-schooled in the ways that vintage card print sheets were organized, laid out with SP’s and DP’s, and ultimately cut.

See also: Chompromised - cards that due to the detrimental positions they occupied on the print sheets, are much more susceptible to being found very off-centered, short side-to-side, or generally miscut due to the sheet cutting process.

591. Bidspreads
The habitual adding of a specific number of cents to each of your bids (i.e. $18.44, $72.44, $109.44), so it’ll give you a better chance of beating out standard, whole dollar amount bidders.

592. Socialrelist
A seller who after no one pulls the trigger on his high price, decides to relist the card at an even higher Buy-It-Now amount.

593. Die-Hardcore Collector
A guy who would enthusiastically crawl through broken glass as he battled terrorists if it meant he had a chance of getting his hands on a card he dearly wants.

594. Sticker Sorrow
The depressing feeling of getting an auction win in the mail and the price tag on the toploader (that obviously held the card for a long time as it sat unsold in the seller’s card shop) is a lot less than what you just paid for it.

595. Stackedcourt (also Hofrequency)
The regularity with which two or more Hall of Famers appear as co-stars on action-packed vintage basketball cards.

596. Smaller Famer
Someone trying to grab big-money, top-tier Hall of Famers off of you through offering trades where he only surrenders cards of low-demand HOF’ers.

597. Subdueling
Choosing not to ‘watch’ an auction you’re very interested in, because keeping the number of watchers low might give you an advantage by making others think the number of potential bidders is less than it really is.

See also: The Ole Yazz-A-Ma-Tazz - purposely using slight, subtle misspellings of a player’s name in an eBay search, in the hopes of running across something great where no one else is looking.

598. Upper-Deke
A seller fervently touting how his lot contains all sorts of valuable high numbers, but it's a fake-out as those cards are either in horrific shape or they’re from a set where the high series isn’t in any way, shape or form tough to obtain.

599. Reboot Lickers
Fans of the modern day sets whose designs are throwback reproductions of cards from long ago.

600. Pornucopia
Any pictures of random, jumbled assortments of old baseball cards.

601. Amass Hysteria
Having the so-called ‘collector’ gene, where the act of accumulating cards (and/or other collectibles) is not only second nature, but a very important part of your life.

See also: Ebayla Virus (or Hyperbuycemia) - the malady of consistently spending so much money purchasing new pieces for your collection that it adversely affects other parts of your life.

See also: Gaffe Infection - plagued by the need to accumulate whatever error and variation cards you can get your hands on.

See also: Crossovertigo - the disorder causing you to not be able to see straight unless each graded card you obtain is cracked out of its slab and resubmitted to your preferred TPG.

See also: Back Lung Disease - the uncontrollable urge to continue adding ‘new’ and different tobacco card backs to your collection.

See also: Winsomnia - being unable to sleep due to the need to press on and make it to the end of an auction finishing up in the wee hours of the morning.

See also: Hallstones - the pain in your gut that results from stressing over whether your bid in an auction for a Hall of Famer will remain high enough to win the card.

See also: Hero-Win Addict - a person hooked on collecting a specific player, and is always striving to prevail in auctions to grab more and more examples of his cards.

602. Slop-Happy
A card that puts a smile on your face, because although it is in godawfully bad shape, it has the saving grace of being perfectly centered.

See also: Malificentered - when the centering of a card is so garishly awful it hurts your brain.

603. Not Not Joke
Any auction for a card that is obviously a reprint or fantasy piece, but the seller cunningly includes some sort of “I’m not sure if this card is real or not...” verbiage to try to pull the wool over someone’s eyes.

604. Easy Come, Easy Dough (adage)
How incredibly easy it is for TPGs to grade new cards, since they are of extremely high quality to begin with, and go straight from the pack into card savers and then submitted...without the chance of ever suffering wear.

605. Accoladyboys
Kids who chased cards with the ‘All-Star Rookie’ trophies on them, because their young minds believed Topps considered those guys to be the best players around.

606. Perplexistentialism
If a card has a ST qualifier on the label, but no matter how hard you examine it you can’t locate the supposed stain, does said stain actually exist??

607. Flopps (also Bottomms (archaic))
The particular Topps set or sets that each individual collector feels are just a big swing and a miss.

608. Lens Denter (also Helmet Bonker)
A picture on a card that is such an extreme close-up that you can imagine the camera actually coming in contact with the player.

609. Barrage Sale
When someone posts way too many separate FS threads, instead of combining them.

610. Membeer Goggles
When someone claims the stuff he is selling is ‘beautiful,’ when everyone can see the cards are anything but pretty to look at.

611. A Pounce of Prevention
When a card for sale somewhere is just too good to be true, and members immediately jump in to call people’s attention to all of the red flags while warning them to be very, very careful about pursuing it.

612. Unwanted Posters
Manager and coaches cards, because 99.9% of all collectors have nothing but contempt for them and wish some other types of cards were printed in their place.

613. Dread Giveaway
When seeking out opinions on whether or not the expensive card you bought is authentic, and someone points out a specific aspect that 100% proves it is NOT genuine.

614. “Healthy as a Hearse” (aphorism)
The ambivalence of realizing that when an all-time great dies, the great sadness you feel is counterbalanced by the skyrocketing value of the cards you have of him in your collection.

615. Poll Vaulting
Clicking the “View Poll Results” button in a thread to see which way the wind is blowing before actually voting in said poll.

616. High-Grade Low-Brow
Vintage sets where it is very easy to obtain cards cheaply in extremely high grades.

617. Fleermonger
A collector and enthusiast of any vintage Fleer sets.

See also: Cookie Mistake - how Fleer’s 1963 attempt to issue a set of cards featuring current players crumbled under the weight of Topps’ supremacy.

618. PSA 10 OC (slang)
A colorful way of telling someone that their card is a fake. “Yo, dude, that Matty is a 10 OC all the way!”

619. Dem Sums
Any valuable Brooklyn Dodgers cards.

See also: Ebbetts Yield - the increased value of the 1957 Topps #400 Dodgers Sluggers’ card if Carl Furillo ever finds his way into Cooperstown.

620. Reflection Deflection
Using pics of a card still in a penny sleeve or toploader, so the rippled reflections of light off of the plastic obscures issues that would be readily apparent if the card was photographed or scanned outside of the holder.

621. Might O’ Dayers
The lurkers who may consider coming out of the shadows and becoming more ‘fully-fledged’ net54 members and contributors.

622. Brothers-in-Lore
Scammers in the B/S/T who all seem to tell the same story of having siblings with incredible collections that need to be unloaded quickly and cheaply.

623. Brookskeeper
A spirited collector of all things Brooks Robinson.

624. Scambling
Being unsure of whether or not a valuable card is authentic, but rolling the dice and sending it in to be graded anyway, because if it turns out to be real you’ll be rolling in the dough.

625. March Fadness
How the market for a certain emerging player’s rookie cards gets all bonkers with the dawn of the season approaching...only to start losing steam as the season gets under way and he proves to be nothing special.

626. Gripe Left
When a member complains about there being a lack of interest in the attractively-priced (to him) card he’s selling by remarking, “What, no offers??”

627. Single-A Haul
Any pickup that is great for you, personally, but in the scheme of things may be rather yawn-worthy.

628. Blisstory
The warm retellings of when, where and/or how you picked up a specific card or cards a long time ago.

629. Batsmanalysis
Trying to interpret the subtle clues and determine what old team’s uniform a player is wearing on a card when all team logos and insignias have been either obscured or airbrushed into oblivion by the card company due to a team switch.

See also: Trade-Scoff (or Sigh-Gration) - the godawfully poor job of airbrushing done to the ‘new’ caps of relocated players on vintage ‘traded set’ cards.

630. Farced Perspective
A seller taking a picture of an off-centered card at an angle with the ‘very close to the border’ side in the foreground, giving the illusion that there’s a lot more room there than there actually is.

631. “Fly Me to the Boon”
When a card you saw on eBay (and know how much it sold for) suddenly appears for sale on net54 at two or three times the price it went for merely a week ago.

632. Free Blurred
The use of “FREE SHIPPING!” in an auction title in an attempt to obscure the fact it is a tremendously overpriced card.

633. Half-Ask Effort
When someone posts a WTB thread, but doesn’t include any fundamentally basic information such as what condition they are seeking, etc.

634. Lagflation
When a seller’s prices before the pandemic were stupidly high, but since he hasn’t done a show in a couple of years, the old price stickers on his toploaders remain unchanged and now make the cards look like sweet bargains in today’s market.

See also: Deantrification - when the stupidly high prices of an eBayer seller seem a tiny bit more reasonable to some people, because everyone else’s wildly skyrocketing prices have lessened the gap.

635. Show-Flopper
Buying a graded card at a show, because you thought the price was a steal, but when you got home and checked out the listings on eBay, you saw it could be readily had for half of what you paid.


And that's the end of section 3, so I hope you guys enjoyed it!! (Whoops!! Since I'm not a biologist, I don't actually know if you are "guys.")
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 04-04-2022 at 04:00 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 03-31-2022, 08:27 PM
Eric72's Avatar
Eric72 Eric72 is offline
Eric Perry
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Philadelphia Suburbs
Posts: 2,734
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JollyElm View Post

627. Single-A Haul
Any pickup that other collectors feel is nothing special and simply yawn-worthy.

Updated:

627. Single-A Haul
Any pickup that is great for you, personally, but in the scheme of things may be rather yawn-worthy.
Anyone who belittles another collector for their "pedestrian" pickup is an A-Haul...
__________________
Eric Perry

Currently collecting:
T206 (127/524)
1956 Topps Baseball (181/342)

"You can observe a lot by just watching."
- Yogi Berra

Last edited by Eric72; 04-01-2022 at 09:30 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 04-01-2022, 07:55 AM
Leon's Avatar
Leon Leon is offline
Leon
peasant/forum owner
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: near Dallas
Posts: 31,697
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric72 View Post
Anyone who belittles another collector for their "pedestrian" pickup is an A-Haul...
As a pedestrian collector I concur!
.
__________________
Leon Luckey
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 04-01-2022, 08:06 AM
Bartholomew_Bump_Bailey's Avatar
Bartholomew_Bump_Bailey Bartholomew_Bump_Bailey is offline
Mike
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Carolina's
Posts: 226
Default

Immediately hit CTRL+F and searched for all things "bump" (fantastic work!!!)
__________________
People don't start playing ball at your age, they retire! - Pop Fisher (to Roy Hobbs)
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 04-01-2022, 09:07 AM
Yoda Yoda is offline
Joh.n Spen.cer
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,237
Default

Darren, were you per chance an English Literature major in college? This anthology is just so damn clever.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 04-01-2022, 07:45 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
Darren, were you per chance an English Literature major in college? This anthology is just so damn clever.
No, Yodes, just have a creative spirit. My next go will be designing a couple of 'clever' t-shirts for card collectors.
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 04-04-2022, 03:59 PM
JollyElm's Avatar
JollyElm JollyElm is offline
D@rrΣn Hu.ghΣs
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,079
Default

Had to add a couple of more after my hands-on experiences at a card show on Saturday.

The one guy I had never bought anything from due to his unreasonable prices, told me he hasn't been 'allowed' (pandemic) to do any shows for two years (he was at every show I've ever attended since being out here). Looking at the 'low' price stickers in his case made me think there must be some terrible, unseen issues with the cards, but I asked to see them anyway. As I shuffled through the toploaders, some of the stickers actually fell off. That's how long they'd been affixed!! When I removed the cards for close inspection, they turned out to be in fine a*s shape, so I started buying like crazy. Seren-freakin'-dipity!!!


634. Lagflation
When a seller’s prices before the pandemic were stupidly high, but since he hasn’t done a show in a couple of years, the old price stickers on his toploaders remain unchanged and now make the cards look like sweet bargains in today’s market.

See also: Deantrification - when the stupidly high prices of an eBayer seller seem a tiny bit more reasonable to some people, because everyone else’s wildly skyrocketing prices have lessened the gap.

635. Show-Flopper
Buying a graded card at a show, because you thought the price was a steal, but when you got home and checked out the listings on eBay, you saw it could be readily had for half of what you paid.
__________________
Looking to trade? Check out my bucket:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/152396...57685904801706

Need a laugh? Take a gander at my 'The New Directory of Collectorisms...' thread:
https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=293235

“I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.”
Casey Stengel

Spelling "Yastrzemski" correctly without needing to look it up since the 1980's.

Overpaying yesterday is simply underpaying tomorrow.

Last edited by JollyElm; 04-04-2022 at 04:04 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 04-04-2022, 04:36 PM
Eric72's Avatar
Eric72 Eric72 is offline
Eric Perry
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Philadelphia Suburbs
Posts: 2,734
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JollyElm View Post

...The one guy I had never bought anything from due to his unreasonable prices, told me he hasn't been 'allowed' (pandemic) to do any shows for two years...I started buying like crazy...
As before, so it is again..and will be in the future, countless times.

Today's high prices are tomorrow's bargains.
__________________
Eric Perry

Currently collecting:
T206 (127/524)
1956 Topps Baseball (181/342)

"You can observe a lot by just watching."
- Yogi Berra
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 04-04-2022, 05:01 PM
Chicosbailbonds's Avatar
Chicosbailbonds Chicosbailbonds is offline
Joseph Mie.lke
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 139
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric72 View Post
As before, so it is again..and will be in the future, countless times.

Today's high prices are tomorrow's bargains.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
1958 Sport Fan Who's Who Directory of Collectors trdcrdkid Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions 3 05-30-2016 03:50 PM
Directory of J.R. Burdick Collection at MOMA baseballart Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions 6 06-23-2013 09:24 AM
Directory of the Jefferson Burdick Collection baseballart Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions 3 04-23-2012 06:49 AM
New Website - Vintage Baseball Directory T206.org Net54baseball Vintage (WWII & Older) Baseball Cards & New Member Introductions 12 08-23-2009 08:52 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:04 PM.


ebay GSB