Philosophical Trading Question

[Exhibitman]

The fact that you are making unsolicited trade offers means that you've struck out elsewhere in trying to get the card. And if you are making an unsolicited trade offer to someone who we assume knows as much as you do about the scarcity of the issue, I don't think you have any right or reason to expect that the counterparty will leap to make the trade unless you are offering something really good in return. Not the same or incrementally better, but a lot better. Otherwise, don't be surprised if your offer is not highly regarded. When I've been in that position in the past my offers have been very generous...and usually rejected anyway. I've also given in on trades like that when I've been solicited and have had strong seller's remorse afterwards unless I really got a strong trade in return.

You also reference book values. I don't think too many collectors of rare or obscure sets put any stock in book values. FWIW, some collectors don't enjoy haggling and especially not when a mythical book value is used. "Book" values and money are irrelevant to trades of rare cards. If the book value had any reality to it, or if the card was available for sale anywhere, you could go buy the card. Perhaps by trying to "sell" the deal because of the book values you made him decide you were not worth dealing with because your frames of reference are incompatible.

People have many reasons why they don't want to trade a card, as Frank pointed out. Perhaps the player or the pose is a particular favorite. Perhaps the cards offered in return are low priority cards for the counterparty to own. Perhaps he considers the card to be an irreplaceable part of his collection and doesn't know how or when or if he can replace it, so it makes little sense to trade a card he may not be able to replace for a comparable card. Perhaps the other fellow just looks at trades as "gimme two of yours for one of mine" since none of the cards are going to be offered for sale and there is no actual market price for them. My rule of thumb when trying to make a trade of my dupes for a card I need and cannot find on the market is to be generous in my offers precisely because they are duplicates and I don't need them.

Seems to me that if you don't have a card and profess to really want it, and someone has it but seems cool to your offer to trade it, you should expect to trade at a disadvantage on it and to haggle some. That's what I expect when I make an unsolicited trade offer to a fellow collector for something that is really hard to find. Did you counter with anything other than "yours isn't worth what mine is"? If not, your counterparty may have concluded that it wasn't worthwhile to trade with you.

As for the emotional "I really want it and you should give it to me" appeal, that might work with a buddy, someone you know well and have a history with, but I would not expect that to work with a near stranger to me.

Finally, I'd observe that attempting to publicly embarrass the counterparty by posting a complaint about the dealings is probably not the way to get what you want. I'd venture a guess that even if the collector would have taken a lesser trade with you at the end of negotiations had you followed up with something more than "you are being unfair to me", you now stand no chance of making a trade after taking this issue public.