What Jeter and Harry Wright have in common

[David Atkatz]

What Jeter and Harry Wright have in common?

Neither ever heard of the other.

[T206Collector]

Originally Posted by David Atkatz

What Jeter and Harry Wright have in common?

Neither ever heard of the other.

Not only are your critical thinking skills amazing, but you're quite the joke teller. You must be fun at cocktail parties.

Here's a few for you:

How many Derek Jeters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None! Steiner does it for him and charges a fan $600 to turn it on!

Why did Derek Jeter cross the road?

Because he gets paid $20M a year to do it!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Brandon

Brandon Who?

Brandon Steiner... Hey do you wanna buy some dirt?

Derek Jeter, Brandon Steiner and Christian Lopez are stuck on a deserted island and a can of food washes up on the beach. None of them have a can opener, so they sat around trying to figure out how to open it. Jeter tried to catch the can, but he couldn't because his range factor is terrible. Lopez was going to open it, but he decided to just give it to Jeter because he thought he deserved it. Ultimately Steiner had an idea: "I'll sell the sand and BUY a can opener!"

[David Atkatz]

I don't know what you do for a living, T, but as a practicing PhD theoretical physicist, my critical thinking skills are pretty good. (If I do say so, myself.)

And most folks think I'm a pretty funny guy, too.

[T206Collector]

Originally Posted by David Atkatz

I don't know what you do for a living, T, but as a practicing PhD theoretical physicist, my critical thinking skills are pretty good. (If I do say so, myself.)

And most folks think I'm a pretty funny guy, too.

Oh, right, the Skidmore professor that Bruce is in love with. Maybe you can answer these questions for me: what is Dark Matter, and does it have anything to do with the fact that Jeter only has 3 home runs this year?

[David Atkatz]

Cold Dark Matter, or Hot?

I'd say that Jeter's HR production has to do with what we physicists call "the Arrow of Time."

[T206Collector]

Originally Posted by David Atkatz

Cold Dark Matter, or Hot?

I'd say that Jeter's HR production has to do with what we physicists call "the Arrow of Time."

Dark matter could be a black hole, right? If it was a black hole, would it be hot?

[David Atkatz]

A black hole is an example of a MACHO (Massive Compact Halo Object), and would be a particular type of Cold Dark Matter (CDM).

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by T206Collector

How many Derek Jeters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None! Steiner does it for him and charges a fan $600 to turn it on!

Actually, that's not bad...