The Net 54 100

[Exhibitman]

In my business when my cross-exam draws an overwrought defensive response like that I know I've hit a raw nerve. I guess we all know where Bruce's armor has its cracks now.

Brucie boy, I'd guess that one of my articles in VCBC or Old Cardboard has brought more benefit to this hobby than all of your bigoted, bb-brained, elitist rants combined. Only a balloon-thin ego resting on a foundation of insecurities and a lifetime of interpersonal failures could respond as you do to a little good-natured ribbing. Shatner's suggestion that Trekkers get a life goes double for you. I have a home like many others here, filled with family and friends, the laughter of children, the warmth and comfort of others I love and who love me at the end of the day. I'll gather with my extended family tomorrow evening for the first night of Passover and enjoy an experience you will sadly never have: a normal human life.

Tonight, after the lights are out, when the cards are put away and you climb into your lonely, cold bed, remember that no matter what cards you acquire, no matter how many posts you make here, no matter how many people you insult or threaten over the internet, you do not matter to anyone in the world. If you were to drop dead in your apartment tonight whilst masturbating over the latest card you acquired (or perhaps just the latest issue of "Big 'Uns", or "Stud" or whatever else squeezes your lemon), odds are that no one would know, care or find out until the rotting smell offended your neighbors.

Now, if you'd like to make a death threat to my face instead of on a computer, I will be in NYC this summer and at the National too (as I have been every year since 2004) and we can meet up and "talk" it over. No? That's what I figured. See, Brucie, we are all on to you here. There are two kinds of guys, Brucie, there are those with big brave balls, and those with little mincey balls. Guys with big, brave balls don't spout inane threats from internet chat rooms; they live in the real world. They show up at the National, for example, and talk face to face with the people they call out. But that's not you, no siree. Lob your threats from your co-op, mincey balls...we know the score.

Adam

When our time comes, we are more than certain that there will be a group of people that care by our side

Whilst we have never heard of the magazines you reference, we wonder if your obsession with masturbation emanates from the fact that you can't satisfy your wife or that she is sick and tired of you.

Your vile commentary is shameful at best. We will be in Baltimore. If you want to confront us, so be it. You will pay the price, big time

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Yankeefan51

Adam

When our time comes, we are more than certain that there will be a group of people that care by our side

Organ harvesters don't count.

Originally Posted by Yankeefan51

Whilst we have never heard of the magazines you reference

Really? Gotta call BS on this one. Look up the web page and click on the Old Cardboard banner.

Originally Posted by Yankeefan51

Your vile commentary is shameful at best.

Unlike your bigoted, threatening spew?

Originally Posted by Yankeefan51

We will be in Baltimore. If you want to confront us, so be it. You will pay the price, big time

Oooh, I'm scared. You gonna bring the whole "Group" or just your bad self?

[barrysloate]

Is it time to pull the plug on this?

[botn]

Originally Posted by Yankeefan51

Adam

When our time comes, we are more than certain that there will be a group of people that care by our side

You would be referring to the landlord, fire department and coroner and they do not "care". They are simply doing their job. Nobody will know you passed until someone in the building reports an odor more foul than usual coming from behind your door.

[BCauley]

I just hope that when I die, one of the last things I'm remembered for is my baseball card collection.

I'd much prefer being remembered as someone who was a family man, a guy who enjoyed life, and someone who served my country with pride.

[botn]

Well Bill you and Bruce apparently do not have much in common. Good for you. Bruce would not be able to relate to those things which most of us value. He wrote as much on a thread not too long ago.

[Al C.risafulli]

As suggested, Adam handles himself quite well.

Of course I knew that he would.

-Al

[Griffins]

I can't believe no one mentioned the Festivus episode.

Alec Berg...Alec Berg...sounds like a John Huston name.

It was very common to use the names of actual people. When Jerry shares a plane with the drunk who claims he has bells palsey, and Jerry has to take care of his dog Farfel, that character's name is Gavin Polone. The real Gavin Polone was a producer on both Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. In fact there are probably dozens of characters on the show whose last name is taken from somebody who worked behind the scenes.

I have a friend that was the costume designer for the full run of the show (among other things, she did the puffy shirt). She is mentioned by name at least twice, including the jacobs coat episode when they are drinking champagne fizzes or something like that in a cafe.

[Leon]

Now this is entertainment.

[slidekellyslide]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

In my business when my cross-exam draws an overwrought defensive response like that I know I've hit a raw nerve. I guess we all know where Bruce's armor has its cracks now.

Brucie boy, I'd guess that one of my articles in VCBC or Old Cardboard has brought more benefit to this hobby than all of your bigoted, bb-brained, elitist rants combined. Only a balloon-thin ego resting on a foundation of insecurities and a lifetime of interpersonal failures could respond as you do to a little good-natured ribbing. Shatner's suggestion that Trekkers get a life goes double for you. I have a home like many others here, filled with family and friends, the laughter of children, the warmth and comfort of others I love and who love me at the end of the day. I'll gather with my extended family tomorrow evening for the first night of Passover and enjoy an experience you will sadly never have: a normal human life.

Tonight, after the lights are out, when the cards are put away and you climb into your lonely, cold bed, remember that no matter what cards you acquire, no matter how many posts you make here, no matter how many people you insult or threaten over the internet, you do not matter to anyone in the world. If you were to drop dead in your apartment tonight whilst masturbating over the latest card you acquired (or perhaps just the latest issue of "Big 'Uns", or "Stud" or whatever else squeezes your lemon), odds are that no one would know, care or find out until the rotting smell offended your neighbors.

Now, if you'd like to make a death threat to my face instead of on a computer, I will be in NYC this summer and at the National too (as I have been every year since 2004) and we can meet up and "talk" it over. No? That's what I figured. See, Brucie, we are all on to you here. There are two kinds of guys, Brucie, there are those with big brave balls, and those with little mincey balls. Guys with big, brave balls don't spout inane threats from internet chat rooms; they live in the real world. They show up at the National, for example, and talk face to face with the people they call out. But that's not you, no siree. Lob your threats from your co-op, mincey balls...we know the score.

Whoa! This would make some of the Flame Of The Year award winners on usenet look tame.

[Rich Klein]

Not stopping this thread made for a far more interesting evening and a perfect nightcap to our "family seder". I thought we had entertainment value in my wife's family; nothing compared to these two fun readings. I'm getting my popcorn and my Chuck Willis CD out

Rich

[tothrk]

One last incredible Seinfeld exchange:

George: "Because of society??!?"

Jerry: "Yes, George. Because of society"

[ElCabron]

Why is it every time I near the end of one Bruce's posts I think "Play him off, Keyboard Cat!"

Keyboard Cat, for the record, is the only appropriate way for this thread to end. When and if it ever does.

-Ryan