Sold My Collection - Not About Me - Please Read

[SyrNy1960]

Originally Posted by batsballsbases

Tony,
So sorry you are going thru this.. A very good friend of mine down here in NC is going thru the same thing with his wife... about the same age. Thoughts and Prayers sent your way ... Try and take out older photos show them to her... anything to try and stimulate thought in her mind.... keep up the fight

Al,

Sorry to hear that! Thoughts and prayers! Thanks for the advice and I will do that! Much appreciated! It's an awful disease. I have my breakdown moments alone, but don't let her see that. It's difficult to see someone you love struggle, no matter what the situation is.

[Scott Garner]

Tony,
So sorry to hear about your wife and thank you for this post.
My Mom, who is 88, has had dementia and Alzheimer's for about 6 years now and is late stage.
Alzheimer's is a very tough diagnosis for anyone that you love, but I certainly think that having this happen to your long-time spouse has to be about the toughest.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[Kevin]

Thanks for posting, Tony. I just turned 50. Have neurologist appointments and brain scans set up for September (Yom Kippur) and November (Election Day). Great post. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Leon]

Sometimes a thread just needs to be moved (it was in another section). Prayers your way, Tony! Keep up the good fight.
.

[SyrNy1960]

Originally Posted by Leon

Sometimes a thread just needs to be moved (it was in another section). Prayers your way, Tony! Keep up the good fight.
.

Sorry Leon and thanks!

[Brian Van Horn]

Tony,

I wish your wife and you the best.

[conor912]

Originally Posted by SyrNy1960

I have my breakdown moments alone, but don't let her see that. It's difficult to see someone you love struggle, no matter what the situation is.

Make sure you are getting support for yourself, too! My stepfather has Alzheimers. He and my mom got married when I was young, so he’s like another dad to me. At this point I worry more about her than I do him. No one can do it alone. I wish you both the best!

[jingram058]

Prayers...

Everything else shrinks to insignificance.

[rc4157]

Prayers for both of you Tony. As Conor mentioned, be sure to take care of yourself as well. I'm sure most of us have seen this with a friend or loved one and have seen how difficult it can be for the caretaker. All the best.

[DodgerMike22]

Prayers for you, your wife, and your family.

[Exhibitman]

My mother was showing signs of dementia before COVID hit but my parents refused to deal with it. Then the pandemic and my father basically hid her from me for a year until she had a fall followed by a full-blown psychotic break, institutionalization and eventually death. Thankfully less than two years from the time we put her away.

Take care of yourself, first and foremost. You are useless if you are sick, stressed, and worn down. My parents went into decline and death in under 2 years and taking care of them aged me 10 years in 2.

I STRONGLY recommend you get an estate plan together immediately, while she has testamentary capacity. Video the signing and have her explain why she is making the bequests. Also, get a power of attorney as well as an advanced medical directive. These things will save you untold misery AND thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. I had a client who refused to deal with the diagnosis and the family first had to go through the trouble of a conservatorship and then into the misery of intestate succession and probate.

If she gets to the point of institutionalization, think long and hard about it. There are basically two kinds of dementia patients: happy forgetters and agnoized sufferers. My mother was the latter. i sincerely wish we had put her into hospice when she was first diagnosed, rather than into 'memory care', because she had to live through the hell on earth of a broken and degenerating brain. She always took great pride in her appearance and image and demeanor and to be reduced as she was to a screeching, incontinent moonbat forced to do kiddie art projects when all she wanted was to stay in bed and drift away, it was just cruel. When they finally sent her to hospice it was a relief.

Not to bring you down, but you have to know there is no happy ending to dementia as it currently stands. Best to face up to that. The damage is progressive, irreversible and incurable. Frankly, after having watched her disease, if i am diagnosed with something similar to my mother I will punch my own ticket like Robin Williams did.

[benjulmag]

Really sorry to hear this, Tony. I lost my mother to Alzheimer's 5 years ago and know what you are going through. It is a horrible disease, with no cure after so many years, though promising advances might be on the horizon. The one comfort my sister and I had as our mother went through the various stages (which the medication, your wife is currently on, will slow down) is that it is a disease, unlike many others, in which the patient does not appear to suffer much, the suffering being borne by those who love them. That meant a great deal to my sister and me, as it would have been much more difficult for us if we knew our mother was suffering. But as far as we could tell, as the memory loss progressed, our mother was oblivious to it, and outwardly at least seemed to not be experiencing mental anguish. That is in contrast to other afflictions when the patient maintains all their mental faculties, but due to their affliction are in a very unhappy state of mind.

[oldjudge]

Tony—My best wishes to you and your wife. I lost my brother in law to AD and know what a devastating affliction it is. May I suggest that you look into the work of Li-Huei Tsai at MIT’s Againg Brain Institute. She has been doing research on non-invasive treatments which appear somewhat promising.

[cubman1941]

Tony, thanks for sharing. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease and really affects the caregiver more than the person. I keep getting afraid I am a similar situation with my wife. Her short term memory is pretty much gone but her long term is still o.k. She has been to the doctor but no diagnosis yet except age related. I constantly have to remind myself to be patient with her short time memory loss as I am not a patient person. I am learning. As many others have said, take care of yourself first because, as my wife keeps telling me, "I don't know what I would do without you." You have to be the strong and healthy one to give her the care she needs now and in the future.