The New Directory of Collectorisms...

[Leon]

All days we collect!!
Good stuff, Darren.
.

[JollyElm]

"Like you all, I yearn to breathe free...but I would yearn much better if I had a plateful of grilled Fourth of July Italian sausage slathered in Kraft Original barbecue sauce to chomp on, so let’s get this over with..."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part XV - Section 2




951. Crash Flow
The valuable cards you know you could immediately sell off for a nice bit of coin were something to suddenly arise in your life to financially drain you.

See also: Goldenholdens - the cards you claim there’s no way in heck you will ever sell.

952. Letter-Numbo-Jumbo (refer to #423)
Although organized in a logical fashion, how the ACC card classifications (a capitalized initial followed by a seemingly random number) aren’t exactly self-explanatory or user friendly to anyone not already in the know.

See also: Setymology - the straightforward, non-cryptic manner in which card issues evolved into being simply designated by the year of release followed by the brand or producer of said cards.

953. Which Hunt
A thread featuring someone weighing the pros and cons of two of the same cards, and seeking opinions on what people think is the better move, buying the first one or the second one.

See also: Middle-Manhunt - seeing if someone can put you in touch privately with a particular eBay seller, because you’re interested in purchasing one of his listings off-site to avoid the fees.

954. Scanitized
An auction image which has been deliberately and deceptively altered digitally to ‘purify’ the card and make it appear to be in much better shape than it is, and a far cry from what you will actually receive in the mail.

955. Putting Your Best Face Forward
How Topps used the same gigantic headshots of players for their 1956 card set that they already used just the year before in the 1955 set.

956. Collectomaniacal
The hardcore, take no prisoners mindset of going after something you really, really want badly.

957. Rapporical Question
The sales tactic of a show dealer asking you something related to the team featured on the hat, shirt or jersey you’re wearing in an attempt to form a quick kinship and draw you in as a customer.

958. Vanishing Tact
The ability to respectfully leave a dealer’s table you’ve spent a decent amount of time at without feeling guilty about not buying anything from him.

See also: Nod Walker - the guy who takes a brief survey of a seller’s items as he quickly walks the length of the table, offers a polite, wordless acknowledgement, and then moves on to the next table.

959. Blank Checkmate
When an auction consisting of two big spenders continually topping each other by bidding more and more insanely high comes to a close with one of them finally victorious.

960. All that Glosses is Not Cardboard (aphorism)
A warning that not every supposedly ‘real’ and desirable baseball card that looks to be legitimate will turn out to be so.

See also: Mentafool (“Meant to fool”) - any supposed ‘collectible’ that was created for the express purpose of tricking people into believing it is an authentic piece of vintage memorabilia.

961. Hiddengemity (also Homer Pile)
Striking it big by finding a very unexpected and valuable card buried in the random jumble of commons in a lot of miscellaneous cards you bought.

See also: Forgive-Back - although you’ve done nothing wrong, the feeling of contrition over benefitting so greatly from a purchase that it makes you contact the seller and offer him additional money to absolve yourself of guilt.

962. Circuitous Net
Through seemingly taking a convoluted route going from Point A to Point B to Point C, the protection and safety afforded to buyers and sellers through the eBay authentication process.

963. Table Hussy (or Buy-Candy) (slang)
An attractive girl who is purposely placed out front and center at a seller’s table to draw in potential customers by giving the chubby, balding masses something nicer than baseball cards to clumsily gawk at.

See also: Infatubaited - getting reeled in by the invisible hook which compels you to invent a reason, ANY REASON, to go visit the hottie’s table.

See also: Impressure (or Sweatoric) - the tension of digging deep, striving to find something witty or humorous to say - that she hasn’t heard a million times before from other card collecting slobs - in an effort to win her over.

See also: Chatastrophic - when your attempt to impress her with your amusing ‘ad-libbed’ banter fails miserably, as you knew it would.

See also: Breast Buy - foolishly allowing yourself to be beguiled by her charms and swayed into dropping good money on an ill-advised, boneheaded purchase.

See also: “Hot help is hard to find” - a plaintive bemoaning of not having such a lady to play the role of cardboard temptress at your own show table.

964. “Uncle” Bidding
The final, throwing-in-the-towel bid you make in an auction, which says, “That’s it. I’m not going any higher.”

965. Shortcrops
Hand-cut cards, such as Post, Hostess, Bazooka, etc., which were left without the appropriate, designated borders fully present and intact.

966. Pile Pusher (or Accumulame Ass (derogative))
Someone trying to score a big money card off of you, NOT by offering an equally pricey and desirable card in return, but through ‘matching’ the high value of your single card with an accumulative group of low-value stuff.

967. Garlicvampiring (“Garlvamping”)
Offering cards, either purposely or non-purposely, to someone in a trade attempt that he in no way, shape or form has any interest in or use for.
“I only collect pre-war stuff. He garlvamped me with those ‘58 Topps.”

968. L’eggo My Neggo
The attempt to have a negative feedback rightfully removed from your eBay account.

969. Stockupational Hazard
The guesswork every seller faces as he tries to decide what mix of boxes, individual cards and other stuff from his expansive inventory is the ‘right’ assortment to bring (or NOT bring) along to most effectively fill his limited space and make the show he’s heading to a success.

See also: Carchives - the additional material brought to the show that remains within reach outside in the dealer’s vehicle.

970. Nostaljump
The true happiness that comes with deciding it’s time to go back and try to complete the first set that started you opening packs and collecting cards as a kid.

971. Oneandunning (also Funding Forward)
The act of only buying a card once. Instead of wasting money on a lower grade ‘placeholder’ card (which you’ll only grow to hate), putting those funds towards buying an example that will truly suit you.

972. No-Bliss Oblige (Fr. derivative)
An expression noting that the act of collecting extends beyond the mere amassment of memorabilia, and requires people to fulfill obligations to the community of collectors as a whole, such as giving props to people for their big scores, even when it gives you no satisfaction to do so.

973. The Unboughtens
Those cards that always appear relisted on eBay or as a constant presence in dealers’ display cases at shows, because their prices are beyond ridiculous.

See also: Flasking Price - a price on a card so high that it makes you wonder, “What’s this guy been drinking??!!”

See also: Bemuseum Pricing - a seller so clueless about how absurd his prices are that you can’t help but laugh.

See also: The Blind Leading the Deaf (derogative) - an assessment of dealers whose pricing is not only a refusal to see what cards actually sell for, but who also won’t listen no matter how much documented proof of recent sales prices is presented to them.

974. Phenomination
An enthusiastic reaction to what someone wrote stating, “This is the leading candidate for post (or thread) of the year!!”

See also: Falling on Deaf Cheers - not getting the pats on the back or shining reactions you were fully expecting to receive from one of your posts or a thread you started.

975. Lumber-Card
Any photo showing a player weighing his options of what club to use as he hovers over a sea of choices sticking out of the bat rack.

976. Token Hearted
The mindset of a ‘type’ collector whose goal is to obtain but a single, symbolic example of each relevant set on their list.

977. CIQ (“sick”)
A Collector’s IQ, - the measurement of a hobbyist’s overall depth of knowledge in the card collecting arts and sciences.
“Man, that guy really knows his stuff. He’s got a sick CIQ!!”

978. "The more collecting changes, the more it doesn’t stay the same." (proverb)
It started with men opening packs of cigarettes and handing cards to boys outside of tobacco shops, then grew into kids spending their allowance to chew rock-hard gum as they tore open new wax packs...and has now devolved into investors paying thousands of dollars to ‘own’ a tiny ‘fractional share’ of a card they will never actually touch.


And section 2 is at an end.



A free and timely piece of advice:
When your little niece throws that first heater of a pitch straight at your head during your annual Independence Day BBQ Wiffle Ball game, she's setting your ass up!!!! WITHOUT QUESTION her next pitch is going to be a wickedly slow monster of a curve ball, but everyone knows her control has been off lately! She’ll try to drop it low and outside, but as God is my witness, she’s going to end up hanging it. Wait on it and BOOM!! give that sucker a long, delicious ride over the roof!!! If you want to add an obnoxious bat flip to celebrate as the tears stream down her chubby little cheeks, that's up to you.

Happy 4th!!!!!!!!!

[JollyElm]

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DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!

I present to you a special (and way too late in the day) Fourth of July bonus, Collectorisms Part XVI.


"For want of a grilled hot dog bathed in relish and spicy mustard, I would let my cardboard kingdom fall!!"


No fingers were lost as M-80s exploded all around during the creation of this ill-advised addendum.
Clearly not enough time (I mean not even close, as a sneeze lasted longer) was devoted to writing down thoughts, as I was overly busy chugging beers.




979. Red, White and Blew It
The bad business move of accidentally having your eBay auction end on the Fourth of July, meaning only a tiny fraction of people across the country are even checking the site.

See also: Windependence Day - making a huge score off of eBay, because you were the ‘only’ person paying attention to the auction.

980. Rhubarbecue
Fueled by a bit too much ‘overserving’ in the backyard, the annual rebirth of the snarky, heated arguments you, your family members, friends and neighbors get into about which teams and players are the best.

See also: Riffle Ball - how said arguments continue and grow more intense when the element of an ego-driven ‘fun’ game is added to the mix.

981. Uncle Sham
A well known, supposedly ‘great guy’ who uses his good name and reputation in the hobby to scam people.

982. Liarworks
The overabundant use of airy and colorful positive spin words a seller gives a card to raise its standing to fraudulently great heights.

983. Yankee Doodle Candy
Whether it be Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Reggie, Jeter or Judge, the glorious cards of The Bronx Bombers you cherish so greatly.

See also: The Boston Scree Party - the wicked enjoyment Sox fans have downing beers and piling on more and more bitter hatred towards the New Yawk Yankees.

See also: We Hold These Ruths to Be Self-Evident - love or hate the Yanks, everyone knows that each and every Babe Ruth card holds a precious, valuable and storied place in all collectors’ hearts.

984. Mold Glory
The great cards in your collection that you adore so much even though they aren’t even within a country mile of being in nice shape.

See also: The Pursuit of Crappiness - the inalienable right of finding joy in seeking out lower grade cards to add to your collection.

985. Sworn on the Cobb
The goal of doing whatever is possible to finally land any career contemporary Ty Cobb card.

986. Declaration of Grindependence
The proclamation made amid all of the heartache that comes from pursuing cards, that you swear you will make more of a legitimate effort to just enjoy the hell out of the hobby.

See also: “I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Pipe Dream” - the assertion that no matter how hard it gets, you are still going to do whatever it takes to reach your collecting goals...no matter how far OUT of reach they continue to be.

987. Firewatermelon
That huge and not well thought out ‘juicy’ purchase your inebriated self makes off of eBay in the late, waning hours of the holiday, leaving your wallet with a big hangover come the 5th.

See also: Pyrochecknics - when your significant other goes ballistic after discovering how much of a hit the checking account took from this stupid pick-up.



Merry Fourth of July to everyone!!

[JollyElm]

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We interrupt this broadcast!!!!!!!!!!


Presented for your perusal is a special, 'The National' inspired, collection of utter caca for the brain-dead hobbyist, AKA Collectorisms Part XVII - Section 1.


"And so it is written, let the bald, middle-aged, paunchy men gather together and rejoice!!!"


Collectorisms may cause drowsiness in people who are allergic to Collectorisms.
Deep dish pizza is the work of the devil. Thin crust NY pizza with sloppy grease, cheese and sauce spilling everywhere is the ambrosia of the Gods. Opinions may vary...but if they do, yours is wrong.




988. Grave New World
The dystopian state of present-day card shows, where tables only sell mass-produced, technologically-engineered modern cards with a low number of ‘selectively bred’ chase cards inserted to bring favor and fortune to the privileged few, while the ‘non-conformist’ collectors of vintage cardboard are shunned.

989. Snagriculture
The science of plotting out your approach to a card show floor, deciding which sections and booths to visit, and in what order, to best take advantage of your opportunities to grab cards that are ripe for the picking in order to harvest a nice crop of collectibles.

See also: Booth Sleuth - someone amassing as much information as possible beforehand to determine which dealers are stocking the types of stuff he’s looking for.

990. Expaf
An adjective noting that something is “expensive as f*ck.”

991. Grab n’ Slab
The act of buying a card at a show and immediately heading to an on-site TPG’s booth to have it graded.

992. Gawkwardness
The state of a seller having to politely sit there as countless people slowly and methodically stare at his cards and then cruise on to the next table without buying anything.

993. Abetter Half (or Minfin (“Minister of Finance”)) (slang)
The wife of a card collector who tightly controls the purse strings, and no purchase decision can ever be made without her express, collaborative involvement and say-so.

See also: Hobby Bobbitting - the understanding that if you were ever stupid enough to cross her by making an unsanctioned purchase for your collection, you know exactly what will happen to you.

994. Showsupial
Any card show attendee who foregoes lugging around a backpack, bag or other tote and has nothing to hold his new purchases in except for his pockets.

995. “The reports of the death of high vintage card prices have been greatly exaggerated.”
A Mark Twainsian lament reflecting the fact that although some people select specific data to claim the overall prices of old cards have dropped significantly, that is absolutely NOT the case for the everyday collector.

996. Purchismo
Walking around a card show with your chin held high, knowing nothing’s going to stop you from going home with the specific cards you came here to get, prices be damned.

997. Thicktabler
Someone who insists on getting to a show at the earliest day and time possible, so the tables will still be full of the good stuff and not yet thinned out by the masses.

See also: Fleerosion - how a good amount of sellers on the last day of a show have already packed up their goods and hit the road.

998. FOMOOO (“Cowing”)
An acronym for the people at home who are relishing in the ‘fun of missing out on overpaying’ for cards at 'The National.'

999. Paraloopers
Collectors well practiced in the art of high-magnification precision who drop into each table with their loupe at the ready, giving each card they’re interested in a full and proper examination.

1000. Exodash
The act of waiting for a dealer’s attention to be drawn away by someone else, so you can seamlessly disengage from his table without feeling the need to awkwardly offer him parting words after not buying anything.

See also: Dial L for Leaver - the act of pretending to get a phone call in order to make slipping away from someone’s booth effortlessly easy.

1001. “May the cards be ever in your favor.”
The dutiful and expected acknowledgment that card show attendees offer to one another.

1002. Cobbslobb
A seller with an inordinate number of valuable Ty Cobb cards on display and/or in his collection.

1003. Fillanthropist
An attendee with a good heart who goes out of his way to help someone else who’s not at the show fill a hole in their want list by tracking down a card and arranging for its purchase.

1004. Crowdmouth (also Showsemite Sam)
That superficial, self-appointed ‘expert’ seller who takes himself too seriously as he yaps away and waves money around to make sure everyone around his table knows how impressive he is. He’s your best friend while you’re looking at his cards, but his bitter enemy the moment you pass on his prices and walk away.

1005. Brawn Sugar
Cards of steroids-era players on display.

1006. All Flash, No Cash
A dealer’s bitter assessment of the vivacious, personable show-goer who eagerly spends time engaging him in lively conversations at his table, but walks away without buying anything.

See also: Panashionate - an attendee who strongly revels in the social aspect of the hobby, showing a sparkling flair for happily chatting up both dealers and buyers alike.

1007. Booza Nova (Portuguese)
Someone new to the site with scant few posts who RSVPs to the annual Net54baseball dinner held during 'The National' to share the free drinks with other members.

See also: Chugger Duplo (“Double Chugger”) - when he also includes a plus one.

1008. Wine, Women and Cardboard
A tripartite motto expressing the gloriously hedonistic view that there are only three things that any adult male should ever consider spending money on.

1009. Scoopemupper
The serendipitous discovery of a card in a bargain bin whose value obviously exceeds the low price.

See also: Cheap Choicing - after finding the first one you want, scouring through the huge masses of stuff in order to find other desirable-enough cards to reach the stated threshold (“5 Cards for $10!,” e.g.) on the discount bin signage.

1010. A King on His Throne of Plastic
That seller sitting regally without a care in the world at his table of highly-graded, big-money cards for sale, never seemingly bothered that no one can even afford to buy any of his golden wares.

1011. 31 Cravers (slang)
A term for a seller’s display case filled with sugary sweet cards, each more drool-worthy than the previous.

1012. “Il collezionista che non raccoglie ciò che raccolgo è mio amico” (“The collector who doesn’t collect what I collect is my friend”) (Ital.)
A time-honored maxim stating that when the element of competition is removed, two people are better able to enjoy the hobby together.

1013. Shoestring Theory
The belief that although your card-buying budget is minimal at best, it is still possible to find a way to direct your money into making wonderfully epic purchases.

1014. Sympathology
The sickness of a seller thinking he’s fooling anyone when he puts on a show of pretend sadness as he says, “I’m going to take a bath on this, but I’ll let you have it for...” as he states his ridiculous price.

See also: Sales Fall - when someone with dollar signs in their eyes approaches a dealer’s table to ask if he’s interested in buying their ‘valuable’ cards, but it’s just the obligatory box of junk wax era stuff.

1015. Non Comps Mentis
The medical term for sellers who flat-out refuse to even consider taking recent past sales data into account when pricing their cards.

See also: My Cardboard, My Choice - the simple reality that the owner of a card can set his asking price at whatever the heck he wants.

1016. Travelation
The delight in making a first-time journey to a card show and finding it was very much all that it was cracked up to be and absolutely worth the trip.

1017. Mantle Acuity
The sharp perception and ability to know exactly whether or not purchasing this Mantle right now at this price will turn out to be a good, profitable decision later.

1018. Sparefishing
On the hunt to grab more and more doubles to keep your boxes of trade bait brimming.

See also: Twin Culling - buying a card to knock it off of your need list, only to later discover that you didn’t actually need it anymore.

1019. Vicuriously
When the joy of comfortably sitting at home to look through other people’s pictures and videos from a show is tempered by the fact that now you have all sorts of questions you really want answered.

1020. Shamaraderie
The false belief that a true sense of community exists among card collectors, when we know damn well we’re all just swimming in a kiddie pool filled with blood-thirsty sharks.


And section 1 fizzles out.



I wish you all much luck in leaving early to beat the traffic!!

[JollyElm]

"You say it’s two weeks too late, but since life and health and other things have gotten in the way, I say it’s just 50 weeks early (for next year’s National)."


At long last, I present to you Collectorisms Part XVII - Section 2



1021. Halcyonslaught
The incredibly nostalgic feelings that come rushing in and bring you back to your youth the moment you walk into a card show.

1022. Table Tilt
The standard, stationary pose of standing still at a dealer’s table with your head angled slightly downward to stare at the cards on display there.

See also: Bent Neck Speed - the extremely slow, deliberate pace taken by these guys as they examine the dealer’s wares.

1023. Hormonetization (refer to #963)
A dealer’s purposeful placement of an attractive girl to work his table, so the horny rabble with more dollars than sense will hopefully be more inclined to hand over their dough to her than to the chubby, bearded sellers found at every other table.

1024. Roverviewer
Anyone posting an on-line video exploration of a large card show floor.

See also: Remarko Polo - a person guiding viewers through his extensive video navigation of the show by offering real-time commentary and insights along the way.

See also: Sir Walter Golly - someone filled with wonderment whose focus is discovering awe-worthy treasures on display to zoom in on and highlight to the people at home.

See also: Vasco da Gambience - anybody presenting a general overview of the look, feel and atmosphere of the event, being sure to include all aspects of the show whether they appeal to him personally or not.

See also: Erik the Bread - a deep-pocketed collector whose purpose in filming is to highlight the big-money purchases he’s planning on making.

See also: Brief Ericson - a videographer who only offers short, cursory explorations of table treasures before quickly moving on to the next ones, never giving the viewer enough time to let all of the magnificence sink in.

See also: Captain Crook - someone making a point of noting how outlandish a particular dealer’s prices are.

See also: Ferdinand Magellunch - a guy who inexplicably keeps the camera rolling as he takes time to eat, forcing his viewers to listen to him yap away as he stuffs his face.

See also: Samuel de Chumplain - that loud, over-the-top card show ‘guide’ who’s all style (well, to himself at least) and no substance, and you’re left quickly clicking out of his video to get away from it.

1025. The Pelican Grief
The annoyance of having to continually dodge countless portable cases being wheeled around the crowded floor by other showgoers.

1026. Nextrovert
A showgoer happily moving from table to table, joyously chatting everyone up.

See also: Yentabler (Yid.) - that guy who shows up at your booth and just won’t stop chattering away at you, even though you clearly have plenty of other potential customers who need attending to.

1027. The Stench of a Thousand Buffalo (loosely translated Ojibwe)
The hot, putrid and stifling air quality inside of a poorly ventilated show venue.

See also: "Air Conditioning, Air Conditioning, Air Conditioning" - an adage expressing the three most important factors in determining where to hold a large card collectors convention.

See also: Breaksweatus Operandi (BO) (Lat.) - the unchanging, odiferous mode of slobs who never think of taking their fellow showgoers into account as they once again leave their deodorant sticks back home and unused.

See also: Smellpox - the rancid haze that envelops and infects you as you stand tightly crammed in around the dealer tables.

See also: Tactfoulness - the purposeful use of your malodorous ‘fragrance’ to make people scatter and free up space around you, so you have more room at the tables to comfortably operate in.

See also: Flop Sweat Equity - although you regret your stink is affecting people, you know the gamey odors emanating from your body were earned honestly through your hard work in the card show trenches.

1028. Flooraging
The act of bouncing around a show to see what interesting things you might come across.

1029. Past Sales Frustrata
The exasperation of a seller trying to justify his asking price to you by quoting an abnormally high outlier of a recent sale amount for the same card, and your reaction is, “Yeah, but whoever paid that much is a frickin’ moron!!”

1030. Seen-It Route
Plotting tomorrow’s show navigation itinerary to avoid the areas you already fully explored today.

1031. Swine Dining
Due to the lack of properly laid out concessions areas at a card show, having no choice but to sit on the floor and eat like an animal.

See also: Chaireography - the act of waiting, watching and planning out moves to jump in and grab someone’s seat the moment they finish eating and get up to leave.

1032. Distractivated
Having the usual cards and sets you’re always looking for in mind when you suddenly come across something cool or exciting at a booth that sends you careening off into a completely different direction, and your brain shouts, “I wanna start collecting those cards, too!"

See also: UCO (“Unidentified Cardboard Object”) - when you have no clue what something is, but you take a chance and buy it anyway, just in case it turns out to be something great.

1033. Walking Head
A guy whose video ‘of a show’ is nothing more than his face staring into the camera the whole time as he prattles on and on during his wanderings around the venue.

See also: Cambassador - a self-styled hobby luminary who spends his time on-camera interviewing and hobnobbing with dealers, attendees and any card world personalities and ‘celebrities’ he crosses paths with.

See also: Uberindulgence - someone so full of himself that he actually feels compelled to include footage of him travelling to the venue in his video.

1034. Collextras
The throngs of card collecting showgoers who guest star in the backgrounds of any videos and photographs being shot.

1035. Drools of Engagement (slang)
The unspoken understanding that if you are filming a video at a show, the moment an even marginally attractive girl comes into frame, you stop what you’re doing and leave the camera on her, because everyone watching your video will be shouting, “Screw the card tables!! Follow the girl!!!!!!”

1036. Roam-Spun Wisdom
The useful, beneficial knowledge that you are able to relay to other showgoers that comes from your extensive exploration of a show venue.

1037. Bear Trapture
The feeling of euphoria that comes when a glorious item on display stops you dead in your tracks as you’re walking past a dealer’s table.

1038. “Someday My Short Prints Will Come”
The starry-eyed, wishful longing that somewhere down the line you will finally obtain the last tough high numbers you still need, and your dream of completing that vintage Topps set will come true at last.

1039. Bi-Popular
Big stars whose cards and collectibles are highly sought after regardless of whether you are ‘solely’ a modern collector or a vintage collector.

See also: Omnivoracious - a collector of ‘everything,’ who’s always on the hunt to gobble up any vintage or modern era pieces that appeal to him.

See also: Sadaharu Ohtani - a celebratory name combination tying together Japan’s all time greatest ‘vintage’ slugger with its current modern-day phenom.

1040. Cohobbytation
When two separate dealers share space at a show table or booth.

1041. Horth (“Hotel Room Talking Head”)
A guy (always in close-up for some reason) reporting and summarizing his impressions of a card show at the end of the day from the comfort of his lodgings.

See also: Nosecaster - anyone who curiously situates their camera much too low and pointing upward at his face, so the viewer is forced to have a front-row seat to his inner nostrils and the ceiling.

See also: News Wanker - when one of these people offering their reports from the card show is too bumbling or uninteresting or self-involved or tiresome (take your pick) for your liking.

See also: Holiday Spinn - when you can’t understand what he’s talking about or where he’s coming from, because you were at the show and your experience was entirely different than his.

1042. Gramboozled (or Widowhoodwinked)
When a little old lady selling her dear, late husband’s collection gets absolutely ripped off without even knowing it.

See also: Graveyard Grift - the act of committing such an unconscionably shameless maneuver.

1043. Jaywalk-In Purchase
When someone approaches a dealer to ask him if he’s interested in buying something he brought to the show, and a random onlooker inserts himself into the situation and offers to buy it for more than what the dealer is offering.

1044. Coopersdownpayment
The strategy of buying up cards of a player you feel stands a better than average shot of getting into the Hall of Fame through the voting of one of the various ‘veterans’ subcommittees.

1045. Holdering Out
Deciding whether waiting until you can find the card you’re hunting for in your preferred TPG’s slab or buying the one right in front of you in a different TPG’s slab is the right move.

1046. Refractornese
The strange, unintelligible-to-vintage-collectors vocabulary and phraseology belonging to collectors of modern day cards.

1047. Go-Go Booths
The exciting dealer set-ups you love heading to, because they have the post-war vintage cards you’re searching for in abundance.

See also: Floorsaken - a great seller you run across whose location has been hidden from the masses due to the poor layout of the venue and through no fault of his own.

See also: Tabooth - a dealer whose table you avoid like the plague and would never even consider visiting, due to personal experience, reputation or other factors.

1048. Dollar Lost Averaging
Realizing you greatly overpaid for a card, the process of looking through the other stuff you bought to find things you got great deals on, so you can ‘increase’ what you paid for them in your personal ledger and effectively ‘lower’ the actual price paid for the original card.

1049. A Labor of Glove
The joy of searching out and finding game-used pieces of equipment..

1050. YouBoobs
The annoying ‘content creators’ found everywhere with their cameras out shooting videos to be uploaded to their on-line channels.

See also: ZooTubers - the herdlike presence of these guys roaming the show floor.

1051. Highlowlights
The best of your self-admitted underwhelming or pedestrian pick-ups from a show where you didn’t actually bring home much of anything you would deem ‘good.’

1052. OIMBY (acronym)
A pointlessly obvious phrase denoting that when it comes to planning where a large collectors convention should be held, the only acceptable answer for both buyers and sellers alike would be a location in close proximity to them, or ‘ONLY in my back yard.’



And the music is finally over, so I will turn out the lights until next time.

[JollyElm]

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine wordplay, puns, drollery, and attempted witticisms...

MaryPoppinsSpoonfulofSugar.jpg

...go down, in a most (hopefully) delightful way!!!!"


Presented for chimney sweepers and collectors alike (or both at the same time, as their is no rule against chimney sweeps being collectors), Collectorisms Part XVIII - Section 1.


Collectorisms may cause psychotic breakdowns in those prone to such reactions. Please consult the included Collectorisms brochure for further information.




1053. Downton Hobbey
The opulent state of existence the more affluent members of net54 enjoy as they gravitate together and continually pat each other on the back over their latest obscene purchases, while paying little attention to the lowly interests of the budgetary peasants who also call the site home.

See also: Coy Polloi - the monied collectors who fly under the radar, because their modest, more down-to-earth posting activities don’t leave the impression they have huge budgets to work with.

See also: Westminster Slabbey - any thread serving as a glorious display venue for their museum-worthy pieces.

1054. Scallywagner
Any of the legion of Honus Wagner cards and pieces that due to the use of virtually the same image, bear a striking resemblance to his legendary T206 card.

See also: Wags-Adjacent Premium (WAP) - his greatness as a player aside, the higher than ‘normal’ prices each one of these pieces commands, because of the permanent association with his T206 card, the crown jewel of collecting,
“Man, I really took a ‘wapping’ on that M116 Honus card!”

1055. The Multiple Bid Absurdity Principle
The rationale that any bid you make during the course of an auction is a wasted bid, because it harms you by needlessly and artificially raising the price of the item. Logically speaking, the ONLY bid one should ever make is an all-in, last moment snipe bid.

1056. Swapaganda
The half-truths, lies and hyperbole at play when someone is trying to convince you that the trade offer HE’S proposing will clearly make you, NOT him, the ‘winner’ of the deal.

See also: One-Way Streep - when a trader involved in this type of self-serving activity is putting on an Academy Award-worthy performance.

1057. Fulcrumble
In hindsight, the precise post in an active thread - that was cruising along normally - which served as the tipping point and began steering it downhill into a shit show.

1058. “The Future’s So Dim, I Gotta Wear Grades”
As you sadly decide it’s time to begin planning for the hereafter, step one is to make sure each and every one of your cardboard assets is housed in a respectable TPG’s slab for a straightforward and easy liquidation by your eventual heirs.

See also: Zero Sum Claim - the fear that after you’re gone, your wife will lose out big-time by selling your cards for the fictionally low prices you ‘swore’ to her you paid for them.

1059. Divorchestration
Having a strategical arrangement in place which will conceal the existence and/or value of your collection for maximum effect, so your no-good, dirty, road whore of a soon-to-be-ex-wife won’t be able to take you to the cardboard cleaners.

1060. Adverlution
The realization that many of the sponsors you so fondly tied directly to the N.Y. Mets as a young fan (Schaefer Beer, e.g.) had already filled the exact same role as the mainstays of the Brooklyn Dodgers years before.

1061. Umbilical Cards
The collectibles that still remain at your childhood home, and not only did your mother NOT throw them out, she has kept them safe and properly stored for you.

1062. Slabpremacy
The hierarchical structure of the Third Party Grader world where the sales prices realized of the same cards with the same number grades will vary widely depending on which TPG’s holders the cards sit in.

See also: “Tux the Rich!” - a seller’s hope that seeing more and more big money cards sitting inside of SGC holders will further elevate the TPG’s status and begin bringing the sales prices realized numbers closer to what the same grades sell for in rival PSA holders.

See also: Law of Diminishing Diminishments (AKA Bottom Barrel Parity) - in layman’s terms, the lower you go down the number grade scale, the less disparity will be found between the sold prices of cards in PSA holders versus those housed in other slabs.

See also: Plastic Turtleharing - deciding what works best for you personally as a seller, going with SGC to get your cards back quickly, but they will likely sell for lower prices, or sending them off to PSA, which will take an interminable amount of time, but should yield greater resale results.

1063. OPCOC
The proper descriptive acronym for Canadian O-Pee-Chee cards, since every one of them is bound to be found severely off-centered.

1064. Eavesdropportunist
Someone who sees what specific cards or items are being discussed or sought after in threads, and surprise, surprise, he suddenly posts a new FS listing in the B/S/T selling one of the very items being talked about, as if it’s just some sort of a random coincidence...NOT.

1065. “Put it in the tool belt”
An expression noting that the hammer has come down and the auction is over.

1066. Top-Dropper
When a large group of cards from a specific set is offered for sale or trade and, of course, the range of numbers included in the lot stops dead before reaching the high series.

1067. Gregmorrisified (eponym)
When you no longer bid in a particular seller’s auctions, because his fine, trusted stature in the hobby has made bidders flock to his offerings and considerably raise the prices of each card well beyond what they ‘should’ be.

1068. Frankensteinbeck
Anyone regaling you with entertaining sagas and recountings of their experiences collecting the T206 ‘monster.’

See also: Snagatha Christie - someone telling a fascinating and entertaining tale, complete with twists and turns and surprises, about how he came to own a particular card.

1069. Goosejuicer
Any of the storied card dealers from long ago who came across great bulk discoveries of previously rare, impossible-to-find cards, and slowly milked their golden finds for all they were worth.

1070. Seman-ticks
Members who try to shift the direction of a thread by arguing over the specific meaning of a word or words used by the OP, when his intent was as clear as day to anyone not trying to suck the life out of a thread for their own enjoyment.

See also: Pedantichrist - an overly exhausting know-it-all who attempts to use these trivial word games to his advantage.

1071. RevenooBSTer
Someone fresh to net54 whose entire low post count tally is comprised of nothing but ‘for sale’ listings in the free B/S/T section.

1072. Orville Breadenbacher
Anyone who is set to make a killing after his TPG submission popped with great number grades.

1073. Ignorvitation
When someone expresses his annoyance at something you wrote, so you invite him to simply add you to their ‘ignore list.’

See also: Witless Protection - the technicalities in play which allow members who are so full of opinions about everything, to still not be required to have their names appear in their posts.

1074. Ship-Shopping (slang)
After winning an auction, scouring through the seller’s other items to take advantage of his “additional cards ship for free” policy.

See also: Defrayvity - the act of buying another card or cards in order to distribute the single shipping cost equally across multiple items and effectively lower the end cost of the original card you bought.

1075. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Questions
When the photograph used on a card leaves you cluelessly wondering, “What in high heck was going on the moment this picture was snapped??”

1076. Same Shoot, Different Day
Any cards of a player appearing in either the same set or a set from a different year where the photos used aren’t the same, but were obviously taken during the very same photoshoot

1077. Shrilliteracy
When an eBay auction screams “READ!!!” in the title, but when you look at the description, there is nothing additional there to warrant the inclusion of such a demand.

1078. Curbin’ Planner
Someone who, because he’s moving away or some other factor, has decided it’s time to gather together his boxes of junk cards and leave them on the street for the garbage man to haul away.

See also: Street Swoopers - the people who furtively creep in to dig through the refuse left out on the curb in hopes of finding desirable collectibles hidden inside the rubbish heap.

1079. Dabble Vision
Having a main collecting focus, but also occasionally picking up items from other specific sets or issues that you have come to take a fancy to.

1080. Pastposement
Any team card which featured a photograph taken years before and didn’t reflect the club’s 'current' roster.

1081. Tykeoon
The self-assured, modern card collecting juvenile found at shows who has great market savvy, cash to burn and an advanced set of negotiation skills.

See also: Teenageriatric - a young collector possessing a wealth of vintage card knowledge far beyond his years.

1082. Proptimizing
When scammers are sure to feature all sorts of obviously authentic low-value cards mixed in with their big-money forgeries to bolster the impression to their ‘audience’ that everything in the lot as a whole is legitimate.

1083. Backflapper
Someone whose natural inclination is to house slabs in protective card sleeves by having the resealable adhesive strip ‘hidden’ on the back side of the card holder.

See also: Frontflapper - someone who is more at home having the sealant flap situated on the front side of the card holder for easier access.

1084. Craigslast
When a list is compiled, from best to worst, of platforms you can trust to successfully conduct collectibles commerce on, it is rather obvious which site will always occupy the space at the very bottom.


And section 1 comes to an inglorious end.

[Leon]

I think my collecting centers around this one-

1079. Dabble Vision
Having a main collecting focus, but also occasionally picking up items from other specific sets or issues that you have come to take a fancy to.

.

Originally Posted by JollyElm

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine wordplay, puns, drollery, and attempted witticisms...

Attachment 589244

...go down, in a most (hopefully) delightful way!!!!"


Presented for chimney sweepers and collectors alike (or both at the same time, as their is no rule against chimney sweeps being collectors), Collectorisms Part XVIII - Section 1.


Collectorisms may cause psychotic breakdowns in those prone to such reactions. Please consult the included Collectorisms brochure for further information.




1053. Downton Hobbey
The opulent state of existence the more affluent members of net54 enjoy as they gravitate together and continually pat each other on the back over their latest obscene purchases, while paying little attention to the lowly interests of the budgetary peasants who also call the site home.

See also: Coy Polloi - the monied collectors who fly under the radar, because their modest, more down-to-earth posting activities don’t leave the impression they have huge budgets to work with.

See also: Westminster Slabbey - any thread serving as a glorious display venue for their museum-worthy pieces.

1054. Scallywagner
Any of the legion of Honus Wagner cards and pieces that due to the use of virtually the same image, bear a striking resemblance to his legendary T206 card.

See also: Wags-Adjacent Premium (WAP) - his greatness as a player aside, the higher than ‘normal’ prices each one of these pieces commands, because of the permanent association with his T206 card, the crown jewel of collecting,
“Man, I really took a ‘wapping’ on that M116 Honus card!”

1055. The Multiple Bid Absurdity Principle
The rationale that any bid made during the course of an auction is a wasted bid, because it harms you by needlessly and artificially raising the price of the item. Logically speaking, the ONLY bid one should ever make is an all-in, last moment snipe bid.

1056. Swapaganda
The half-truths, lies and hyperbole at play when someone is laughably trying to convince you that the trade offer HE’S proposing will clearly make you, not him, the ‘winner’ of the deal.

1057. Fulcrumble
In hindsight, the precise post that takes a thread that was cruising along normally and begins steering it downhill into a shit show.

1058. “The Future’s So Dim, I Gotta Wear Grades”
As you sadly decide it’s time to begin planning for the hereafter, step one is to make sure each and every one of your cardboard assets is housed in a respectable TPG’s slab for a straightforward and easy liquidation by your eventual heirs.

See also: Zero Sum Claim - the fear that after you’re gone, your wife will lose out big-time by selling your cards for the fictionally low prices you ‘swore’ to her you paid for them.

1059. Divorchestration
Having a strategical arrangement in place which will conceal the existence and/or value of your collection for maximum effect, so your no-good, dirty, road whore of a soon-to-be-ex-wife won’t be able to take you to the cardboard cleaners.

1060. Adverlution
The realization that many of the sponsors you so fondly tied directly to the N.Y. Mets as a young fan (Schaefer Beer, e.g.) had already filled the exact same role as the mainstays of the Brooklyn Dodgers years before.

1061. Umbilical Cards
The collectibles that still remain at your childhood home, and not only did your mother NOT throw them out, she has kept them safe and properly stored for you.

1062. Slabpremacy
The hierarchical structure of the Third Party Grader world where the sales prices realized of the same cards with the same number grades will vary widely depending on which TPG’s holders the cards sit in.

See also: “Tux the Rich!” - a seller’s hope that seeing more and more big money cards sitting inside of SGC holders will further elevate the TPG’s status and begin bringing the sales prices realized numbers closer to what the same grades sell for in rival PSA holders.

See also: Law of Diminishing Diminishments (AKA Bottom Barrel Parity) - in layman’s terms, the lower you go down the number grade scale, the less disparity will be found between the sold prices of cards in PSA holders versus those housed in other slabs.

See also: Plastic Turtleharing - deciding what works best for you personally as a seller, going with SGC to get your cards back quickly, but they will likely sell for lower prices, or sending them off to PSA, which will take an interminable amount of time, but should yield greater resale results.

1063. OPCOC
The proper descriptive acronym for Canadian O-Pee-Chee cards, since every one of them is bound to be found severely off-centered.

1064. Eavesdropportunist
Someone who sees what specific cards or items are being discussed or sought after in threads, and surprise, surprise, he suddenly posts a new FS listing in the B/S/T selling one of the very items being talked about, as if it’s just some sort of a random coincidence...NOT.

1065. “Put it in the tool belt”
An expression noting that the hammer has come down and the auction is over.

1066. Top-Dropper
When a large group of cards from a specific set is offered for sale or trade and, of course, the range of numbers included in the lot stops dead before reaching the high series.

1067. Gregmorrisified (eponym)
When you no longer bid in a particular seller’s auctions, because his fine, trusted stature in the hobby has made bidders flock to his offerings and considerably raise the prices of each card well beyond what they ‘should’ be.

1068. Frankensteinbeck
Anyone regaling you with entertaining sagas and recountings of their experiences collecting the T206 ‘monster.’

See also: Snagatha Christie - someone telling a fascinating and entertaining tale, complete with twists and turns and surprises, about how he came to own a particular card.

1069. Goosejuicer
Any of the storied card dealers from long ago who came across great bulk discoveries of previously rare, impossible-to-find cards, and slowly milked their golden finds for all they were worth.

1070. Semanticks
Members who try to shift the direction of a thread by arguing over the specific meaning of a word or words used by the OP, when the meaning was as clear as day to anyone not trying to suck the life out of a thread for their own pathetic enjoyment.

1071. RevenooBSTer
Someone fresh to net54 whose entire low post count tally is comprised of nothing but ‘for sale’ listings in the free B/S/T section.

1072. Orville Breadenbacher
Anyone who is set to make a killing after his TPG submission popped with great number grades.

1073. Ignorvitation
When someone expresses his annoyance at something you wrote, so you invite him to simply add you to their ‘ignore list.’

See also: Witless Protection - the technicalities in play which allow members who are so full of opinions about everything, to still not be required to have their names appear in their posts.

1074. Ship-Shopping (slang)
After winning an auction, scouring through the seller’s other items to take advantage of his “additional cards ship for free” policy.

See also: Defrayvity - the act of buying another card or cards in order to distribute the single shipping cost equally across multiple items and effectively lower the end cost of the original card you bought.

1075. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Questions
When the photograph used on a card leaves you cluelessly wondering, “What in high heck was going on the moment this picture was snapped??”

1076. Same Shoot, Different Day
Any cards of a player appearing in either the same set or a set from a different year where the photos used aren’t the same, but were obviously taken during the very same photoshoot

1077. Shrilliteracy
When an eBay auction screams “READ!!!” in the title, but when you look at the description, there is nothing additional there to warrant the inclusion of such a demand.

1078. Curbin’ Planner
Someone who, because he’s moving away or some other factor, has decided it’s time to gather together his boxes of junk cards and leave them on the street for the garbage man to haul away.

See also: Street Swoopers - the people who furtively creep in to dig through the refuse left out on the curb in hopes of finding desirable collectibles hidden inside the rubbish heap.

1079. Dabble Vision
Having a main collecting focus, but also occasionally picking up items from other specific sets or issues that you have come to take a fancy to.

1080. Pastposement
Any team card which featured a photograph taken years before and didn’t reflect the club’s 'current' roster.

1081. Tykeoon
The self-assured, modern card collecting juvenile found at shows who has great market savvy, cash to burn and an advanced set of negotiation skills.

See also: Teenageriatric - a young collector possessing a wealth of vintage card knowledge far beyond his years.

1082. Proptimizing
When scammers are sure to feature all sorts of obviously authentic low-value cards mixed in with their big-money forgeries to bolster the impression to their ‘audience’ that everything in the lot as a whole is legitimate.

1083. Backflapper
Someone whose natural inclination is to house slabs in protective card sleeves by having the resealable adhesive strip ‘hidden’ on the back side of the card holder.

See also: Frontflapper - someone who is more at home having the sealant flap situated on the front side of the card holder for easier access.

1084. Craigslast
When a list is compiled, from best to worst, of platforms you can trust to successfully conduct collectibles commerce on, it is rather obvious which site will always occupy the space at the very bottom.


And section 1 comes to an inglorious end.