Trolls Are Coming Out Of The Woodwork - gabrielleoddin

[Michael B]

I gladly have a land line. If there is a power failure forget your voip/digital phone and no recharging you cell phone unless you have a portable charger that is charged.

I do not have caller ID as I don't want to pay the $6 a month for the fee. It is also for local calls only. The only people that will call it are my mother, on rare occasions a friend from Switzerland (3¢ a minute international plan) and telemarketers. Working from home full time I would hear the calls, but rarely get them.

I like to have fun with them. I get a number of calls from a 'Police Benevolent Charity'. I would never give anything over the phone and leo's make more than me in this area. I always ask if they are a cop. Usually they say they are fundraisers. I say they make enough and hang up. One caller actually tried to say he was. I asked for his FOP (Fraternal Order of the Police) membership number. He was confused. MMM Bye Bye.

I got a call from probably Mumbai or other city in the subcontinent.

Them - Your Microsoft license has expired
Me - It did. Oh my God! Do I need to come in to have my picture taken?
Them - No, your Microsoft license.
Me - I can schedule an appointment next week to come in.
Them - You don't need to do that.
Me - Okay, but first I have to kill a cow and have sex with your sister.

I don't understand Hindi, but I doubt he was saying 'Have a nice day'.


Last week

This is very important. Please press 1 so we can talk to you.

Them - Hello U.S. Marshalls (with the din of a call center in the background)
Me - No you're not...
Them - Yes it is.
Me - If I find you I am going to sexually assault you and cut off your head you women's nether regions.

Stunned silence. I am still waiting for SWAT to break down my door. Nothing but crickets though. Violent but effective.