How Big Would Your Bull Pen Be If............

[egri]

Baseball has been losing ground to football for years. We can blame things like pace of play, or all these newfangled rule changes, but those are all fig leaves for the real culprit: dull press conferences. Everything that is said nowadays gets sliced and diced by PR representatives and spokesmen, and is focus-group tested to be as bland as possible. There aren't any colorful characters in the game anymore.

Meanwhile in the NFL, the coaches say exactly what they're thinking. It's how we know what Mike Zimmer thinks about Bobby Petrino, and that the Bears are who Dennis Green thought they were. Even grumpy lobster boat captain Bill Belichick has a few good quips from time to time.

To rectify this, I propose the "What Would John McKay Do?" rule. Before taking questions, the manager must remove all weasel words from his vocabulary. No more making excuses, or hiding behind clichéd sayings. If a team lost so badly that the manager felt like leaving the stadium and hitchhiking home, he should say so. If his opinion of the team's execution is that he's in favor of it, best to be up front about it. This rule change will make for more entertaining postgame shows and, like Frank's rule change, also be unanimously adopted.