Funny Pictures

[The-Cardfather]

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[bnorth]

Not a picture but seriously funny, especially the USPS part.

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills, ambition, or work ethic.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, longtime AWNAA supporters. "This is why many of them voted for us. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

President Obama pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and fast food restaurants (65%).

President Obama has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled persons for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs. Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire two clueless workers for every one talented hire.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her chronic incompetence. "This new law should really help people like me."

Once this bill is signed into law, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Mr. Obama, "It is our duty as national leaders to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

THIS IS HUMOR SO PLEASE NO SILLY POLITICAL COMMENTS.

[GasHouseGang]

That's really funny Ben, because it sounds so believable.

[Bill77]

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[Mark17]

Some of my favorites

[bauce]

[bauce]

[todeen]

Originally Posted by GasHouseGang

That's really funny Ben, because it sounds so believable.

I laughed too. I like THE ONION.

It is believable. It's called the universal income, it's still just a theory, and individuals would be paid simply for breathing. They voted on it in Switzerland, and it did not pass. But as more jobs are lost to automation, liberal economists believe that the universal income will become necessary. It's phased out based on income. It's believed that wealthier countries will have to eventually pass legislation like this, or expand social welfare to support the members of society who have been left behind by an automated society.

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[Mark17]

Originally Posted by todeen

I laughed too. I like THE ONION.

It is believable. It's called the universal income, it's still just a theory, and individuals would be paid simply for breathing. They voted on it in Switzerland, and it did not pass. But as more jobs are lost to automation, liberal economists believe that the universal income will become necessary. It's phased out based on income. It's believed that wealthier countries will have to eventually pass legislation like this, or expand social welfare to support the members of society who have been left behind by an automated society.

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I don't understand how unemployment was at a record low before the pandemic. It seems to me that however much automation is developed, there will always be productive things (jobs) for people to do.

[bnorth]

Originally Posted by Mark17

I don't understand how unemployment was at a record low before the pandemic. It seems to me that however much automation is developed, there will always be productive things (jobs) for people to do.

Since we are going there. The problem is that the population is getting dumber/lazier by the second. You don't see a doctor and a lawyer that are married having several kids. Unfortunately it is Cleatus and Velvita having 8 kids in the trailer park.

^This^ is part of a Chris Porter joke.

If you like stand up check Chris out he is hilarious.

[Mark17]

Originally Posted by bnorth

Since we are going there. The problem is that the population is getting dumber/lazier by the second.

If you pay people to sit on the couch, millions of people will take you up on the offer and sit on the couch.

Since sitting on the couch requires no education or effort of any kind, there will be no incentive for these people to not become (or remain) dumb and lazy. All they will need to know is which candidates are promising the most freebies.

[todeen]

Originally Posted by Mark17

I don't understand how unemployment was at a record low before the pandemic. It seems to me that however much automation is developed, there will always be productive things (jobs) for people to do.

I'm not saying I agree with it, just that the funny article posted is based on a real economic theory that has actually been voted on in a real country (Switzerland).

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