OT. Wives

[Il Padrino]

I read this entire thread this morning while enjoying my morning espresso and shortly thereafter headed outside for several hours to do some much needed spring cleaning in the garden. While out there I had a lot of time to think on this particular subject and my mind kept coming back to a few points, so please bare with me here.

Having read each post carefully I was reminded yet again just how many card collectors (based on this thread and other similar ones over the years) lie to their wives about the amount of money spent on their collecting habit.

Here's the catch: Why lie at all? If (< key word there) you are smart and collect items that have shown value increases historically, then this can be stated very easily as an investment. Unlike items that women tend to buy (e.g. shoes, purses, etc.) that do not increase in value the moment they are first used. I would not use that as the baseline of your argument, but there is truth in this statement. If you are taking care of all other financial requirements, this is not an issue.

Now, if you are lying to cover up spending money you don't have to spend then you are burdening your family to have a collection (sorry, just speaking the truth). If you are lying because you should not be spending said money on cards instead of putting it toward real debt, paying down credit cards, paying down loans, or investing in your ROTH (or other). Just my opinion, but a collection should be like an investment, but if you have real debt that needs paid down, you pay that first, invest second.

Then you must ask yourself "am I the only one lying in this family?". Who's to say that your wife is not also lying about spending? or other? If both of you are hiding money output from one another, how is it that you can sustain the most rudimentary baseline of trust? Even if both work it is fair to take a little for yourself, but then you should be marching toward a common goal as a team on a mission if you will and that incorporates integrity, trust, honor, etc. that are supposed to be within any successful marriage.

BREAK

My wife understands that I buy items and I show them to her from time-to-time when she asks about them. If I get something particularly unusual (very vintage) I make sure to show it because we both love antique items so very much.

Working together toward financial freedom is the key. It takes years of work, but once you are debt free you are debt free for life and with that comes trust in one another that you can endure and still find the $$$ to collect along the way.

Sorry for the lecture, just think that honesty is vital and if you are not being truthful, then do not expect that she is either.

Dan

[dabigyankeeman]

Years ago my wife used to surprise me with statues and replicas from the Danbury Mint. Now that I dont collect stuff like that anymore (I am basically cards only now), she tells me how much money she wants to spend for an occasion like a birthday and I will show her what card I want on Ebay and she gets it for me.

Sometimes we will make a deal on an expensive card and say this is for 2 or 3 occasions, or even a couple of years as we did in the case of her buying me a 1952 Topps Mantle PSA-1.

She has zero intrest of course in my stuff, but I love that she is totally willing to give me cards like this for every occasion.

Note: To Il Padrino above, I have to lie to my wife about what the cards cost that I buy on a regular basis. She would go nuts if she had any idea how much I spend. She knows at my age the cards are NOT an investment, and that I buy a lot of lessor condition cards that will go up in value less than nicer cards, and she has idea's about our budget that are different than mine!! Meanwhile, we are doing just fine this way, both financially and in our relationship!!

[Jcfowler6]

I love my wife. My life loves me. She loves live games. She tolerates my obsession with collecting. :-)

So I have it pretty good.