Figured out late last night what was wrong with the ftp upload for PB: apparently you can't have the PB site open in a browser AND upload through ftp in Windows Explorer at the same time. If you close the browser window and just work through ftp and it works fine.
Just in case anyone is having similar problems and wants to try the ftp interface, you get to it by opening Windows Explorer and in the address line type
ftp://username: password@ftp.photobucket.com (no spaces) where username and password are the ones you use for your PB account. I'm not sure if this works with the Free accounts. Supposedly the ftp method was going away with the new site. It's still there though, they just don't tell you how to get to it anymore.
So anyway, I'm still limping along, but would be glad to hear of any simple, relatively cheap options for hosting photos where I can just dump the images and then link to them in some predictable way (i.e. no filename scrambling) for eBay listings, Net54 posts, etc. I don't need fancy photo album displays and would actually prefer it NOT to look like facebook, which is where PB seems to be headed. The more utilitarian the better, I say