A most difficult thread- helping a friend, Bill Hedin

[ramram]

Leon -

You and Barry did exactly what you needed to do. Once the additional information came to light, you were in a no win situation so you politely put it out there for everybody to make there own decision. Maybe the only thing you might have done different would have been to not allow any posts since it should be each individual's private decision after they digested that information.

What you two started was very kind.

Nuf said.

Rob M.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by ramram

Leon -

You and Barry did exactly what you needed to do. Once the additional information came to light, you were in a no win situation so you politely put it out there for everybody to make there own decision. Maybe the only thing you might have done different would have been to not allow any posts since it should be each individual's private decision after they digested that information.

What you two started was very kind.

Nuf said.

Rob M.

I absolutely discussed locking the thread to start with, with Barry and/or one of the others. In the modus operandi of the board, "not locking it" was chosen. It wasn't a no-brainer though. I don't think there was a perfect solution here. It was more the"lesser of evils".

[abothebear]

A few years ago a family helped me and my family out big time, for over a year. Even though I loved them for it, I hated to see them out in public for fear of them making judgements about how I was spending my time and money (they were pretty awesome and probably didn't make judgements, but I was worried about it). One time I ran into them on the ski slope and I felt like a fool for being there even though it was a holiday and I was getting paid for an off day and a friend paid for my rental and ticket. I didn't want them to think I was squandering their generosity and skipping work to ski, but I also thought it would be super weird if I explained it to them when they didn't ask for an explanation. It was an unavoidably awkward situation. Sometimes a limited portion of the information distorts the reality, and there is no good way of sorting it out to everyone's satisfaction. And the only thing you are left with is trusting in everyone to be cool about it and that character over time will prove the good.

[travrosty]

People donate to help someone out. Did you check his grocery bill too to see if he bought donuts or a tub of ice cream instead of just the essentials?

I clicked on the link, expecting to see some 500 or 600 dollar bids. I saw a bunch of 10 dollar purchases. He didn't buy a lamborghini.

Would you feel better if you saw his picture in the local paper standing in the soup and bread line at the salvation army?

He never asked for the money, now everyone wants power of attorney over his finances? Forget Romney's tax returns, where is Bill's?

I know someone struggling very badly during this recession. He still takes his little kids out to the movies ocassionally. I don't think if anyone helped that poor bastard they are going to get their panties twisted because the kids went to see ice age 3 when they could have been using the money strictly for Tide and Colgate.

Here's the catch. When people heard he might have to sell his collection to finance the funeral, they sent in money generously. Now he doesn't have to sell his cards for the funeral. THAT"S THE POINT. IT WORKED! CONGRATULATIONS, YOU DID IT! Now that he doesn't have to mortgage the farm, which was the whole point after all, now you bitch?

That guy can't win, he didnt ask for the money, so don't blame him at all.
Maybe someone came to him and offered to pay for the whole funeral. He's suppose to tell everybody now? It's not anyone's business.

When someone sends you something in the mail you didn't ask for, you get to keep it. The whole idea of asking for donations to help someone out is that you send in a little bit and the strength of numbers makes the donations pile up into a substantial amount.

Then if you feel slighted after the fact, you are only out the little bit, and who cares? You need your 50 bucks back so bad, go rummage through the sympathy cards at the funeral and find it.

He didn't ask for any of this. Leave the guy alone.

[barrysloate]

My final post here is I send Bill my deepest sympathies in this very difficult time. I know a lot of people don't like this thread, and as Leon said, he agonized over this decision for most of yesterday. He and I spoke many times and ultimately felt it was best to provide this information and then let everyone make their own decision. I'm still glad I was able to help Bill, and most others feel that way too. Hopefully this discussion will soon come to an end.

[Donscards]

You know this is a great board for info--help on questions you have on cards,etc. buying and selling---I was telling my wife the other day, how nice it is that net 54 is helping Billy---she thought it was just wonderful.--But the last few days, what this forum is putting Billy through is beyound belief. Billy doesnt deserve this type of talk especially with the loss of his wife and what he is going trough the last few weeks. I can only imagine what he is thinking if he is reading these boards. Sorry Billy that you have to bear this and I wish for you the best. God bless you and you are in our prayers. Don

[wolf441]

Originally Posted by Donscards

You know this is a great board for info--help on questions you have on cards,etc. buying and selling---I was telling my wife the other day, how nice it is that net 54 is helping Billy---she thought it was just wonderful.--But the last few days, what this forum is putting Billy through is beyound belief. Billy doesnt deserve this type of talk especially with the loss of his wife and what he is going trough the last few weeks. I can only imagine what he is thinking if he is reading these boards. Sorry Billy that you have to bear this and I wish for you the best. God bless you and you are in our prayers. Don

Don, I was telling my wife about all of the support that the board members were giving to Bill and she too thought that it was wonderful. Now, it pains me to think that Bill is going to have to read through this thread. I have never met Bill and made a small donation based on the fact that every post that I have seen from him has painted a picture of a kind, caring person as well as the fact that being married and the father of three, I would be devastated if God forbid anything happened to my wife. I am not a particularly religious person, but Matthew 7.1 seems fitting: Judge Not Lest You Be Judged.

Bill, my sincerest condolences in your time of loss. Steve W.

[calvindog]

If I can pay 50% of my income to federal, state, and local taxes knowing that some of it will be going toward "entitlements" to certain people I don't respect -- and keep my mouth shut about it all the while -- somehow I suspect the same can be done regarding a few bucks to help a friend in need. Maybe it's time to lock the thread and move on?