A most difficult thread- helping a friend, Bill Hedin

[Wayward99]

Originally Posted by whitehse

I may not post here much but I read the boards several times a day. Last week I was so proud of these boards and today I feel ashamed of these boards.

If you gave, you gave it to the man to use the money as he sees fit. As I said before, take your blessings for the giving that you did and let Bill deal with whatever comes his way regarding the handling of the money. For God sake, the man just lost his wife. Leave him alone to grieve in peace.

Andrew White

I couldn't agree more. The fact that this thread was started for public consumption, and some of the comments within it are both incredibly saddening. Donation sent.

[Tim Kindler]

Our Net 54 seems to have many thoughts on this difficult situation, and I personally look at that as ok. I think we ALL agree that Bill and his family are going through a difficult and even tragic time. The willingness by this community to help out a fellow member should be commended by all here!!

Now to the dilema of how Bill is handling/will handle his future financial situation: It is really up to him in my opinion. I may not agree with it, but I haven't ever been in his situation before, so I can't say what I would truly do. I felt this way years ago when I had a good friend who lost his wife to breast cancer at 26. Our first child is named after her. Anyway, he went out and bought himself the BMW that he had always wanted only days after she died. Many of our friends criticized him for doing this. I didn't. I don't think I would have done that, but I'm not the one who struggled through her battle and was there for her last breath, so I never felt I could judge him on whether what he did was right or wrong.

I think that Leon bringing this sticky situation up was a good idea. It was the right and honest thing to do to let people know about their donations and giving and how they felt Bill is handling it. As for me, I sold a Schmidt rookie on the the board in order to send a donation, and even given the situiation of Bills's spending, I would do it again. Here's why: I believe in giving to the least of my brother as it says in the Bible. In this situation, I gave to someone in need, just as I would give to a begger on the streets. Now if the begger goes out and spends the money I gave him on Meth, then he will be judged and have to deal with our Lord. In my opinion it's not up to me to judge the begger if they don't do what is right with my kind and thoughtful donation. I have only to be concerned with myself being judged someday, like I believe all of us will be. As for Bill or anyone I wish to donate to, what they do with my gesture is up to them. Whether they do the right thing or not, I know I have offered up my donation to our Lord.

Now, if you don't agree with my opinion..... that's ok.

Take Care Everyone,
Tim Kindler

[Matthew H]

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[ctownboy]

Tim Kindler,

Nice thought but, in my opinion, you would be an enabler. In your hypothetic situation, you gave money to a begger and don't seem to have a problem with that begger buying meth with it. A better solution for the begger and the world would be if you gave that money instead to a clinic which helps meth addicts get clean.

I haven't read every post in this thread but as far as Mr. Hedlin goes, maybe a better solution would be to find out where some of his bills are or who he or his wife owes and donate money to that. Then, people who donated money wont feel so bad because the money they gave actually went to pay for what it was thought to be going for. After that, if Mr. Hedlin wants to spend some of his other money on cards then so be it.

David

[Matthew H]

Originally Posted by ctownboy

Tim Kindler,

Nice thought but, in my opinion, you would be an enabler. In your hypothetic situation, you gave money to a begger and don't seem to have a problem with that begger buying meth with it. A better solution for the begger and the world would be if you gave that money instead to a clinic which helps meth addicts get clean.

I haven't read every post in this thread but as far as Mr. Hedlin goes, maybe a better solution would be to find out where some of his bills are or who he or his wife owes and donate money to that. Then, people who donated money wont feel so bad because the money they gave actually went to pay for what it was thought to be going for. After that, if Mr. Hedlin wants to spend some of his other money on cards then so be it.

David

Wow,

You do realize that Bill hasn't received a penny, and that he never asked for anything. He made a fleeting comment, then a random act of kindness happened collectively by this community, only to be tarnished by a few people who "donated" with the hidden condition that he not be caught buying any more cards, all of this happened within 48 hours. Yuck.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by Matthew H

Wow,

You do realize that Bill hasn't received a penny, and that he never asked for anything. He made a fleeting comment, then a random act of kindness happened collectively by this community, only to be tarnished by a few people who "donated" with the hidden condition that he not be caught buying any more cards, all of this happened within 48 hours. Yuck.

That is not, in my opinion, fair. What a few guys said is that they donated on the assumption -- based on Bill's own words -- that Bill would have to sell his collection to pay for the expenses.

[Tim Kindler]

Matt,
Not sure if you were talking about me, but I don't think my thoughts were ugly?? IF you weren't, no problem, but if you were, it is still alright. Like I said differing opinions are good.

ctownboy,
I get where you are coming from. It is the thought I have for example where our schools like in Chicago stay open even during a strike to feed the children when this enables the parents to not be responsible and take care of their own. I guess my hypotheical situation didn't come out the way I had intended it to. You are correct in saying that if I knew the guy would buy meth, giving him the money would enable his addiction...totally agree. What I meant by my situation is that I would give freely from my heart certainly hoping it would be used for the right reasons, but that if it wasn't then at least I did my part to try to help someone in need.
Take Care,
Tim Kindler

Like an earlier poster said, It is not really the right thing to do, discussing this in Bill's time of mourning, so I'm not going to continue this anymore. I've said my opinion and will get back to looking at cards.

Take care Bill and everyone who has helped him out.

[Matthew H]

Originally Posted by Tim Kindler

Matt,
Not sure if you were talking about me, but I don't think my thoughts were ugly?? IF you weren't, no problem, but if you were, it is still alright. Like I said differing opinions are good.

Not you, at all, Tim.

Peter, ok. I'm still shocked.

And I realize my comment was over the top.

[martyp]

I for one do not know Bill and have only been made aware of his situation through posting boards. I glanced through this thread a bit and at the link to Bill's eBay activity. I did notice that there is quite a bit of selling activity on his account. Is it possible that Bill buys and sells on eBay as a source of income for Bill? I feel that not everybody is in a financial situation that would allow them to reduce their income during a time such as Bill is having.
I have just sent Leon a few bucks to help Bill out. I feel for Bill and wish him and his family the best possible.

[Leon]

My only comment at this point is to say that I didn't "want" to post this thread, I felt I had to. Everyone deserves to have all of the information to use or not use. Anything less would have been a mistake on my part. I did discuss this with no less than half a dozen people before posting. I spent at least 12 hours thinking about what to do. The decision came anything but lightly or quickly. I hope Bill gets through these tough times and my thoughts are with him and his loved ones.