If the USPS had sponsored Obaks,

[buymycards]

Losing your packages for the past 200 years.

Where "guaranteed overnight" is just a suggestion.

Play our new game of 'delivery roulette".

"Fragile" is french for Punt

Helping you meet new friends by misdelivering your neighbors mail.

Your mail may be entering the "twilight zone".

Free tracking for the first 10 minutes.

Where your mail may move 1000's of miles back and forth across the country for only 49 cents.

Now serving lunch while you wait in the endless line.

[T206Collector]

When we say it's "Delivered"
It's always technically true
Your package arrived somewhere
Even if it's not with you

[judsonhamlin]

GREETiNGS FROM THE KEARNY SORT FACILITY

INCONVENIENT, INSENSIBLE

[brianp-beme]

USPS Obak Throwback Marketing Campaign with a swagger, utilizing existing slogans:

None Better
Always A Pleasure
A New Standard
Convenient Sensible
Just Right
Immensely Popular

With a slight adjustment:

Stands The Test
Everyone Satisfied
We Excel
The Story In Shipping

Brian

[brewcrewfan77]

The US Postal Service...

Kinda, Sorta Faster Than The Pony Express

Let Your Packages See The World!

From Chicago to Milwaukee In 10 Days; With A Stop In Des Moines

[frankbmd]

I tried to keep it somewhat positive yesterday

CHEAPER THAN A DIVORCE
ONE STAMP AND KISS IT GOODBYE

GUARANTEED DELIVERY ON A DAY OF THE WEEK

USPS - USE IT AND LOSE IT

WE TEST THE STRENGTH OF YOUR PACKING DAILY

ZIP CODE - THE PICK 5 LOTTERY

WE DON'T SEND EVERYTHING TO MEMPHIS
(MAYBE WE SHOULD)

"WHAT ME WORRY"

UNSOLICITED ADVERTISING IS NEVER LOST

WHAT BROWN CAN'T DO FOR YOU

ALL DEAD LETTERS GO TO IRKUTSK