Nine Solutions to Improve The Game of Baseball

[frankbmd]

I'm not sure what recent rule changes in baseball are supposed to accomplish. What may be an attempt at creating Woke Baseball seems to have become Joke Baseball. Fans look bored at the ballpark. Games are too long. You need a telephone book to keep track of bullpen pitchers. Launch angles are not exciting. The ball goes over the wall or it doesn't. Throwing hard for five innings as a starter does not seem to increase the longevity of a pitcher. Ghost runners should neither be seen or heard. When your shortstop catches a foul ball near the right field foul line how should it be scored? Modern players must think that stolen bases are actually physically stolen.

But don't worry gentlemen, I have solutions to all your complaints about the modern game. If I have overlooked a complaint of yours, let me know. I will post the solution.

1. Sore armed pitchers and pitch counts

Solution: Each pitcher is allowed to throw only four pitches to each batter, enough for a real walk or a strikeout. Instead of a fifth pitch the batter and the pitcher each roll a die and the result of the at bat is determined by a table top game board such as APBA or Stratomatic. Maybe some of the starters can get into the seventh inning again.

2. Ghost runners in extra innings

Solution: The ghost runner is not allowed to advance to third base until the second at bat of the inning. All hits by the first batter become singles, even home runs. On an ensuing double play by the third hitter, the ghost runner must try to score, creating the excitement of a walkoff triple play by the visitors in the bottom of the tenth.

3. Launch angles and exit velocities

Solution: Each homerun hitter must accurately guess his own launch angle. If he fails, he keeps batting. If his exit velocity exceeds the maximum allowed, he is given a speeding ticket at second, which requires him to hit an out of the park triple on his next dinger.

4. One inning wonders in the bull pen

Solution: Each team is allowed to send only two pitchers per game to their bull pen instead of eight. In unusual circumstances where a third relief pitcher is needed, he must pinch hit leading off each subsequent inning for his team.

5. Analytic Shifts and Foreign Substances

Solution: The spitball is dead. Instead of pitchers being checked by the umpires for foreign substances, all players should be required to wear a new hat every inning issued by the umpires without the cards inside that tell them where to stand for each hitter. A second baseman does not belong in left field.

6. Discarded baseballs

Solution: Baseballs are discarded every time they hit the dirt. No one even looks at them. Instead all baseballs should remain in the game until they are hit out of the park, fair or foul. When fans in the bleachers throw the opponent's home runs back onto the field is the exception to this rule and the ball continues to be used. If a new ball is fouled off on the first pitch, how can the lucky fan who gets it prove that it is a game-used foul ball. Lena's Mud hasn't changed in years.

7. Batting glove adjustments

Solution: This one is easy. No velcro on batting gloves ....... period. Has any batter benefitted from adjusting his batting glove?

8. Umpires in New York reviewing umpire decisions

Solution: Not going to happen in the new game. Ban challenges. Let managers get thrown out of the game like in the old days. The only thing I would add is to have each manager and umpire where a microphone connected to the public address system. Watching umpires with head sets is not entertaining. Listening to arguments would be.

9. Boring broadcasters

Solution: All broadcasters must be certified by the Dizzy Dean and Bob Uecker school of broadcasting, which requires that the "Wabash Cannonball" and "Wild Thing" must be sung during each broadcast. Lighten up guys and go easy the analytics.

Let's make baseball fun again.