Nine Solutions to Improve The Game of Baseball
 

I'm not sure what recent rule changes in baseball are supposed to accomplish. What may be an attempt at creating Woke Baseball seems to have become Joke Baseball. Fans look bored at the ballpark. Games are too long. You need a telephone book to keep track of bullpen pitchers. Launch angles are not exciting. The ball goes over the wall or it doesn't. Throwing hard for five innings as a starter does not seem to increase the longevity of a pitcher. Ghost runners should neither be seen or heard. When your shortstop catches a foul ball near the right field foul line how should it be scored? Modern players must think that stolen bases are actually physically stolen.

But don't worry gentlemen, I have solutions to all your complaints about the modern game. If I have overlooked a complaint of yours, let me know. I will post the solution.

1. Sore armed pitchers and pitch counts

Solution: Each pitcher is allowed to throw only four pitches to each batter, enough for a real walk or a strikeout. Instead of a fifth pitch the batter and the pitcher each roll a die and the result of the at bat is determined by a table top game board such as APBA or Stratomatic. Maybe some of the starters can get into the seventh inning again.

2. Ghost runners in extra innings

Solution: The ghost runner is not allowed to advance to third base until the second at bat of the inning. All hits by the first batter become singles, even home runs. On an ensuing double play by the third hitter, the ghost runner must try to score, creating the excitement of a walkoff triple play by the visitors in the bottom of the tenth.

3. Launch angles and exit velocities

Solution: Each homerun hitter must accurately guess his own launch angle. If he fails, he keeps batting. If his exit velocity exceeds the maximum allowed, he is given a speeding ticket at second, which requires him to hit an out of the park triple on his next dinger.

4. One inning wonders in the bull pen

Solution: Each team is allowed to send only two pitchers per game to their bull pen instead of eight. In unusual circumstances where a third relief pitcher is needed, he must pinch hit leading off each subsequent inning for his team.

5. Analytic Shifts and Foreign Substances

Solution: The spitball is dead. Instead of pitchers being checked by the umpires for foreign substances, all players should be required to wear a new hat every inning issued by the umpires without the cards inside that tell them where to stand for each hitter. A second baseman does not belong in left field.

6. Discarded baseballs

Solution: Baseballs are discarded every time they hit the dirt. No one even looks at them. Instead all baseballs should remain in the game until they are hit out of the park, fair or foul. When fans in the bleachers throw the opponent's home runs back onto the field is the exception to this rule and the ball continues to be used. If a new ball is fouled off on the first pitch, how can the lucky fan who gets it prove that it is a game-used foul ball. Lena's Mud hasn't changed in years.

7. Batting glove adjustments

Solution: This one is easy. No velcro on batting gloves ....... period. Has any batter benefitted from adjusting his batting glove?

8. Umpires in New York reviewing umpire decisions

Solution: Not going to happen in the new game. Ban challenges. Let managers get thrown out of the game like in the old days. The only thing I would add is to have each manager and umpire where a microphone connected to the public address system. Watching umpires with head sets is not entertaining. Listening to arguments would be.

9. Boring broadcasters

Solution: All broadcasters must be certified by the Dizzy Dean and Bob Uecker school of broadcasting, which requires that the "Wabash Cannonball" and "Wild Thing" must be sung during each broadcast. Lighten up guys and go easy the analytics.

Let's make baseball fun again.:D

The batting glove thing is super annoying. Back in the late 90s Nomar was profound in doing it, and I wanted to almost reach through the tv and smack him.

Definitely got a good chuckle reading some of these. My genuine opinions on how to fix, how fast an at bat goes is to limit the amount of times a player is allowed to step out of the batters box. Something along the lines of:

Excluding injury, a batter is only allowed to step out of the box once per at bat. First offense of this is accompanied by a warning from the umpire, second offense is a monetary fine. If the batter continues to do this throughout the course of the game, the fine increases.

I was toying with the idea of "adding a strike to the count" but I feel that is unfair, and purists would hate that, which I totally understand.

Bring back Max, Patkin, Eddie Gaedel, and the occasional "special event" ala Chicago White Sox Disco Demolition Night.

No batting gloves, period, end of problem. Batter stays in the box, pitchers on the mound, period. Not sure there's one of the new rules I like or the game needs. Especially no reviews, period. I would, however, be willing to trade them all in for electronic balls and strikes, since the umps have become so rotten at that part of their jobs.

It seems to me that many pitchers are getting their pitches off MUCH quicker than before, some even "quick pitching" from the old days. I think they've discovered it's to their advantage, keeping the batters off balance, and has nothing to do with rules.

Met him several times. Probably saw him perform a dozen.

How about no more epic at bats. Batter is out on the fifth strike.

This is better than most of the new rules, I could live with it, but I would like to see stats on how often it happens (I'm guessing not often, maybe a couple times a game.) I have a problem with trying to iron out all the "wrinkles" in the game, and changing the rule here would be one. To me, an epic at-bat starts to get kind of interesting as a battle between the pitcher and batter. As I've said before, just make the batter stay in the box and the pitcher on the mound, and you're knocking twenty minutes off the games. Bag reviews and relief pitchers' warm-ups--haven't they been warming up in the bullpen?--and two-and-a-half hour games will be the norm again as in my youth.