Creative auction house descriptions

[drcy]

"Corners so sharp you could do a vasectomy on a mosquito." I can live without that one, even if true.
Also, "Best eva? Hellz yeah!"
Runners up are "gnarly" and "bitchin'" Bootylicious is okay depending on the context including pop report.
And anything that insults my intelligence. Which is everything. Though I did get a good chuckle out of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
Oh, and any auction descriptions spoken in a fake cockney accent.
Oh, and "the." Tired of that word.
Oh, I'm sure it's a great language an all and they're fine upstanding people, but I don't speak Mandarin. Last time, I thought I bid on a 1956 Topps partial set and ended up getting a plate of butter.
And what's with the background Muzak on the auction sites these days? When I'm trying to bid, I really can live without the symphonic version of U Can't Touch This.

Oh yeah, and actually put the item in a box or envelope. Don't just place a stamp and write the mailing address on the cabinet card. Or at the very least do it on the back. Twice that's happened this year.