Creative auction house descriptions

[ullmandds]

Don't you all just love some of the "creative" terms that auction houses use to describe their items?

What are some of your favorite "terms" you've seen?

Personally one of my favorites is how many poses are described as "haunting." These players are dead after all. are they now believed to be ghosts?

[wolf441]

Not really creative, but I get a kick out of "extant".

Everything is "The finest example extant".

It's like when someone gets attached to a particular buzz word. I had a co-worker that would drop "fundamentally" 15 times in a half hour meeting...

[ullmandds]

MY assistant uses the word "literally" constantly! Extant is on my list of overused auction descriptors too!

[Bpm0014]

I personally cringe each time they give a description about a famous players career. For example, if you are auctioning off a Babe Ruth autographed baseball, just please describe the baseball! No need for 4 paragrahs at the beginning outlining Babe Ruth's career. If you are auctioning off a Honus Wagner T206, just please describe the card! No need for a 5,000 word diatribe on Honus Wagner's career. I'm sure we all know who Babe Ruth and Honus Wagner are already.....

[wolf441]

Originally Posted by ullmandds

MY assistant uses the word "literally" constantly! Extant is on my list of overused auction descriptors too!

Ha!, my son does the same thing! I also give him crap any time he uses the word "irregardless" and now they've added it to the dictionary.

God forbid we hurt our kids feelings and say "Hey pal, that's not a word. Use regardless or irrespective".

[Al C.risafulli]

"iconic."

-Al

[brianp-beme]

Too bad fundamentally is not literally extant, irregardless of its iconic status.

Brian

[Peter_Spaeth]

It is a rare day when I don't hear or see "reach out" multiple times. Cringe.

For auctions, I always hated the term "blazer."

[Leon]

I don't know about auction descriptions, but can we all agree to get rid of the one word I hear 5000 times a day, "amazing".

[bobfreedman]

"Holy Grail"

[bn2cardz]

Originally Posted by Bpm0014

I personally cringe each time they give a description about a famous players career. For example, if you are auctioning off a Babe Ruth autographed baseball, just please describe the baseball! No need for 4 paragrahs at the beginning outlining Babe Ruth's career. If you are auctioning off a Honus Wagner T206, just please describe the card! No need for a 5,000 word diatribe on Honus Wagner's career. I'm sure we all know who Babe Ruth and Honus Wagner are already.....

As much as this bothers me so does boosting up an average or below average player. If they are new cards of a draft pick or prospect that struggled his first year but shows signs of hope that would make sense to try and sell the player. Yet when it is a player that has been out of the game or even dead for over 50 years it makes no sense, they aren't going to improve their numbers.

One that I always think of is from a Goodwin auction for a Germany Smith Mayo.

An outstanding glove man with exceptional range, Smith would have been a superstar if he only could have hit. With a career average of .243, teams found room for Smith--his glove saved runs and made him valuable. But if he could have boosted his average to the standards of the day, Smith might be remembered as one of the finest to ever play.

*emphasis added by me

[batsballsbases]

The words "Magnificent Example" come to mind!

[Al C.risafulli]

The words "Magnificent Example" come to mind!

I use that one, LOL

-Al

[ullmandds]

I will add "exemplar" as I can't stand this word...especially when combined with "extant!"

[bobbyw8469]

I have never liked the phrase "corners so sharp they can cut -------". I'm sorry....it is a baseball card. It ain't cutting anything.

[Econteachert205]

Undergraded

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by bobbyw8469

I have never liked the phrase "corners so sharp they can cut -------". I'm sorry....it is a baseball card. It ain't cutting anything.

agreed...as well as "razor sharp" to describe corners...I doubt I could shave my head with it!!!!!

[Peter_Spaeth]

Honest corner wear.

Better than the technical grade.

[drcy]

"Corners so sharp you could do a vasectomy on a mosquito." I can live without that one, even if true.
Also, "Best eva? Hellz yeah!"
Runners up are "gnarly" and "bitchin'" Bootylicious is okay depending on the context including pop report.
And anything that insults my intelligence. Which is everything. Though I did get a good chuckle out of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
Oh, and any auction descriptions spoken in a fake cockney accent.
Oh, and "the." Tired of that word.
Oh, I'm sure it's a great language an all and they're fine upstanding people, but I don't speak Mandarin. Last time, I thought I bid on a 1956 Topps partial set and ended up getting a plate of butter.
And what's with the background Muzak on the auction sites these days? When I'm trying to bid, I really can live without the symphonic version of U Can't Touch This.

Oh yeah, and actually put the item in a box or envelope. Don't just place a stamp and write the mailing address on the cabinet card. Or at the very least do it on the back. Twice that's happened this year.

[sycks22]

"Blazer"

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by drcy

"Corners so sharp you could do a vasectomy on a mosquito." I can live without that one, even if true.
Also, "Best eva? Hellz yeah!"
Runners up are "gnarly" and "bitchin'" Bootylicious is okay depending on the context including pop report.
And anything that insults my intelligence. Which is everything. Though I did get a good chuckle out of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
Oh, and any auction descriptions spoken in a fake cockney accent.
Oh, and "the." Tired of that word.
Oh, I'm sure it's a great language an all and they're fine upstanding people, but I don't speak Mandarin. Last time, I thought I bid on a 1956 Topps partial set and ended up getting a plate of butter.
And what's with the background Muzak on the auction sites these days? When I'm trying to bid, I really can live without the symphonic version of U Can't Touch This.



Oh yeah, and actually put the item in a box or envelope. Don't just place a stamp and write the mailing address on the cabinet card. Or at the very least do it on the back. Twice that's happened this year.

R u making a mockery of this thread????

[frankbmd]

Or descriptions you may never see

"overgraded piece of cardboard that makes you want to upchuck at a price that only a loving mother would consider paying....."

[drcy]

"The scary thing about David is, when you get to know him, you realize he isn't trying to be funny."

[glenv]

One major auction house "creatively" used "Hand Cut" instead of "Trimmed" for some Rice-Stix cards.

[barrysloate]

As someone who wrote auction lots for years, I will tell you it is not the easiest thing to get exactly right. If your description is too long, you bore the bidder and he is likely to glaze over it. If it's too short, you may not be creating the kind of excitement you might want. If you use too many superlatives and call every lot spectacular, you strain the credibility of your audience. But if you lowkey it too much, you kind of piss off the consignor, especially if the lot doesn't do as well as you hoped.

So it's really an art, and it takes practice to get it right. I think the number one thing every bidder wants to know is the specifics of condition. Most of the stuff around that description is fluff...but a little fluff is probably okay.

[Runscott]

Originally Posted by drcy

"The scary thing about David is, when you get to know him, you realize he isn't trying to be funny."

"…and when he smiles, look for his blade."

"…if he is laughing, it is too late."

[batsballsbases]

Originally Posted by Al C.risafulli

I use that one, LOL

-Al

Sad Al very sad!

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by barrysloate

As someone who wrote auction lots for years, I will tell you it is not the easiest thing to get exactly right. If your description is too long, you bore the bidder and he is likely to glaze over it. If it's too short, you may not be creating the kind of excitement you might want. If you use too many superlatives and call every lot spectacular, you strain the credibility of your audience. But if you lowkey it too much, you kind of piss off the consignor, especially if the lot doesn't do as well as you hoped.

So it's really an art, and it takes practice to get it right. I think the number one thing every bidder wants to know is the specifics of condition. Most of the stuff around that description is fluff...but a little fluff is probably okay.

As usual...very well spoken.

[veleno45]

I see "undergraded" all the time but for some reason never see "overgraded".

[sox1903wschamp]

Originally Posted by veleno45

I see "undergraded" all the time but for some reason never see "overgraded".

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Bobby-Orr-19...item25a227618e

[bn2cardz]

Originally Posted by sox1903wschamp

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Bobby-Orr-19...item25a227618e

...and a nice PSA 3 with paper loss on the front of the card on the subjects face

http://www.ebay.com/itm/tb-1910-T206...item56507794e2

[j_cook]

I guess these are terms, not single words, but...

'Bright, crisp and clean'

'Presents higher than it's technical assessment'

'Exceptionally strong example'

[SAllen2556]

What they don't tell you after the trite description:

-One of the finest example we've seen.
(today)

-presents well
(if you squint really hard)

-excellent eye appeal
(if you drink a fifth of gin first)

-crisp
(if you put it in the freezer for an hour)

[CW]

"Dripping with gloss" is a good one.

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by sallen2556

what they don't tell you after the trite description:

-one of the finest example we've seen.
(today)

-presents well
(if you squint really hard)

-excellent eye appeal
(if you drink a fifth of gin first)

-crisp
(if you put it in the freezer for an hour)

awesome!!

[quinnsryche]

Originally Posted by sox1903wschamp

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Bobby-Orr-19...item25a227618e

That's absolutely amazing. I can't believe someone would say that even if they thought it was true!

[brob28]

Wasn't there a description in a Goldin Auction Cat. (I think) where they compared a crease in a card (Joe Jackson I believe) to the lightning bolt on the Savoy Special bat from the movie The Natural? The movie and description are both classics...

[bobbyw8469]

Originally Posted by CW

"Dripping with gloss" is a good one.

I have seen "Dripping with Gloss" on cards that were not supposed to have ANY gloss!!! (think 1948 Bowmans, et al)....to me, that makes me question whether they even looked at the card.

[asoriano]

"elite centering"

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by asoriano

"elite centering"

Yeah that is annoying as hell. LOL. Just in case you couldn't tell from the picture.

[Runscott]

Originally Posted by asoriano

"elite centering"

I've seen AH's boast about centering when the card isn't perfectly centered on the front, and the back centering is atrocious. I don't mind some of the over-bubbly descriptions, but don't insult my intelligence.

But I've never seen this particular description (elite centering). Not sure I would go with that one, even if I was prone to lying.

[freakhappy]

Originally Posted by bn2cardz

...and a nice PSA 3 with paper loss on the front of the card on the subjects face



http://www.ebay.com/itm/tb-1910-T206...item56507794e2

I know that chipping can be confused with paper loss sometimes and they ARE viewed differently by grading companies...not that it's the case in your example, Andy, just pointing out the relevance.

[bn2cardz]

Originally Posted by freakhappy

I know that chipping can be confused with paper loss sometimes and they ARE viewed differently by grading companies...not that it's the case in your example, Andy, just pointing out the relevance.

My point was just the the seller did mention the card as being overgraded in his description and didn't hide the fact behind the "razor sharp corners".

[freakhappy]

Originally Posted by bn2cardz

My point was just the the seller did mention the card as being overgraded in his description and didn't hide the fact behind the "razor sharp corners".

For sure, Andy. I was just bouncing my point off of your post

[drcy]

My dad often said put on your resume only that which is you can prove as accurate if someone questions you about it. If you put on your resume that you were "special assistant to Stanley Kubrick," assume someone will ask you about that claim. If you really were a special assistant to the legendary movie director and can demonstrate it, by all means proudly include it. If you made it up or obviously exaggerated your position (You cleaned windows and served coffee in his offices part time one summer when you were 15), there's a good chance you will end up looking foolish and dishonest.

That's my approach to writing auction descriptions. If a superlative is accurate ("ultra rare," "finest example extant," "gorgeous"), there's no need to apologize for using it. If it isn't accurate or is an exaggeration, exclude it. You don't want to develop a 'Boy Who Cried Wolf' reputation, where bidders assume you're once again being full of BS even when the card really is "the finest example extant" or has "brilliant, radiant colors" as you write.

[slipk1068]

http://sterlingsportsauctions.com/Lo...ot-of-%282%29-



calling this Zimmerman card "diamond cut" is creative.

[Runscott]

It IS diamond cut. 'Diamond cut' doesn't mean it is shaped like a diamond, or even cut with multi facets.

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by Runscott

It IS diamond cut. 'Diamond cut' doesn't mean it is shaped like a diamond, or even cut with multi facets.

+1...if there is one thing Sterling is NOT guilty of...it is verbose..."creative" aucton descriptions!

[slipk1068]

didn't mean it as a negative.

diamond cut would get a number grade. that card would grade A. It is a choppy cut not a diamond cut.

[uffda51]

"The offered card" is "rarely offered" (except for the other three we offered in our last three auctions) and remains a "bright and vibrant colorful pasteboard" which happens to be "the penultimate" member of this "elusive" set.