Is obnoxious the new normal for newbie collectors?

[Exhibitman]

Seems like many newer collectors' default setting is "jerk". My experience is that the obnoxiousness of the card 'bros' is the rule rather than the exception. Example: I posted a 19th century card for sale with the following notice in big, bold red letters:

NOTE: IN MY OPINION THIS CARD HAS BEEN TRIMMED. BID ACCORDINGLY.

I get this PM:

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Really?

Most of the legends of the hobby were gentlemanly, gracious and kind in their hobby interactions; the obnoxious ones were the outliers, like Goody Goldfadden. If those guys could be gentlemen...I guess that with auctions, eBay, books, blogs and databases, you don't need to interact with other collectors so you never learn the social skills needed to be a gentleman hobbyist.

Anyhow, rant over. Remain calm and keep bidding.

[Leon]

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

[Snapolit1]

Yeah, aggressively rude appears to be a lot of folks default mode these days.

What I have tired of are folks on eBay responding "Hey nice card. I have a few questions. . . ." And then they ask you to confirm 8 different things that might in their opinion possibly not be immediately visible from the 6 scans you posted.

At a certain point just look at the pictures and bid. Or not. I'm not preparing a 10 page report for you on the card and my opinions on various aspects of it. And, by the way, the card is only $99 pally.

[irv]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

“The world is not full of assholes, they are strategically placed so that you come across one every day” ~ Anonymous

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

Non-flushable...

[mrreality68]

Originally Posted by irv

“The world is not full of assholes, they are strategically placed so that you come across one every day” ~ Anonymous

Nice very nice but sadly true

But by and large Great People in the forum and in the BST sections.

Many more great experiences than assholes

[Leon]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Non-flushable...

Did your situation happen on the bst?
.

[Deertick]

When as a society we have regressed on our tolerance for racist and anti-Semitic speech (and action), just being a dick seems quaint.

[todeen]

"The world is full of bastards, the number increasing rapidly, the further one gets from Missoula, MT."

I lived in Montana for 10 years. I can confirm this is true. And they are breeding.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Snapolit1]

Originally Posted by Deertick

When as a society we have regressed on our tolerance for racist and anti-Semitic speech (and action), just being a dick seems quaint.

Well put.

If you openly care about other people you are at best weak and probably worse.

[Luke]

These messages really suck to get, but the good news is ebay doesn't penalize you for ignoring them. Or you can choose to reply like an asshole yourself, which I sometimes do, and almost always regret.

[Kawika]

[QUOTE=todeen;2211213]"The world is full of bastards, the number increasing rapidly, the further one gets from Missoula, MT."
/QUOTE]
Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.

[Lobo Aullando]

Some try the Jedi mind trick, with regurgitation optional.

"It has all those problems that you already pointed out. I will give you 50% of what you're asking."

No, you shan't. And it did sell at ask a couple weeks later because I priced it at market.

If they start "Could you do..." that's fine because they're not telling me what to do.

[Casey2296]

Originally Posted by Lobo Aullando

Some try the Jedi mind trick, with regurgitation optional.

"It has all those problems that you already pointed out. I will give you 50% of what you're asking."

No, you shan't. And it did sell at ask a couple weeks later because I priced it at market.

If they start "Could you do..." that's fine because they're not telling me what to do.

"I'd like to offer you X for your card, does that work for you?" That and adding "thanks for your consideration" has always gotten good results for me.

[babraham]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Sounds about right today.
I own a retail business and this seems to be more common now, especially since everything got flipped upside down with COVID. People yelling at me and my employees for things outside our control and just being jerks in general. The vast majority are good...but definite increase in obnoxious jerks.

[D. Bergin]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Seems like many newer collectors' default setting is "jerk". My experience is that the obnoxiousness of the card 'bros' is the rule rather than the exception. Example: I posted a 19th century card for sale with the following notice in big, bold red letters:

NOTE: IN MY OPINION THIS CARD HAS BEEN TRIMMED. BID ACCORDINGLY.

I get this PM:

"Oh, your opinion. Super reliable. Why don't you put a 30 cent ruler next to it and verify."

Really?

Anyhow, rant over. Remain calm and keep bidding.

LOL, maybe he thought you were trying to get one over on him by selling him an untrimmed card. He wanted to make damn sure that card was trimmed.


I think I prefer the up front assholes to the compulsively passive liars. At least they don't waste your time. Just had to relist an item today from an unpaid bidder.

A week in after multiple invoices and I'm just about to Cancel, I get a "Sorry, just got your message, been in the hospital, will pay Thursday".

OK cool, I feel like I've heard that one before, but I give them another chance. Let it slide because I'm going away on vacation for a week anyways and I don't really want them paying when I'm gone anyhow. Come back, more invoices sent and........crickets.

Got curious, check out their spotless 3000+ feedback and see they've been very active buying (and somewhat active selling) over the past month. I see a Negative/Positive from another seller sprinkled in for non-payment. Hospital my ass. You over-extended yourself and strung me along hoping I wouldn't file for non-payment.

Couldn't do anything but cancel, block, and stew over a $135 transaction that wasted nearly a month of my headspace.

[conor912]

Some people have no idea how to enter a room other than as a wrecking ball.

[Republicaninmass]

Not just newbies, Plenty of old timers as well!

[BobbyStrawberry]

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

[jingram058]

Originally Posted by BobbyStrawberry

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

I could not agree more.

It seems to be a badge of honor. Deep, bottomless pockets and then flaunt what a great deal, patting themselves and their clique buddies on the back, paying ungodly sums for the latest pick up. Even extolling the virtues of paying insanely more than than they could have paid elsewhere for the same old cardboard trinket. But that's what it means to be in the clique. Yeah, whatever.

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by D. Bergin

He wanted to make damn sure that card was trimmed.

Right? How weird was that? What he's saying is "prove it is trimmed."

[todeen]

Originally Posted by Kawika

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.

if you know, you know

"I am haunted by waters."

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[babraham]

Originally Posted by todeen

if you know, you know

"I am haunted by waters."

"we can love completely without complete understanding"

[Jim65]

I've seen plenty of rude older collectors as well, some people just choose to do be douchebags.

[JustinD]

I know that within the realm of the world a small stones throw from 50 is not that old, but posts like this make me sound like an old man.

Sadly, I really believe that this is what we all have left as modern conveniences and social media have eliminated any social mores that as a sizable majority we once had. It seems most people just don't give a flying f and live by the WIIFM..."What's in it for me?"

I miss the days when clowns like this just got ignored.

Relive the excitement of just leaving these folks to die alone in their pulled curtains by just blocking them and moving on forever. It's not ever worth even answering because you don't want them as a client as they will haunt you in some way forever if you continue on. Be extraordinarily happy you were lucky enough to see the warning sign before they bought it and became an annoying asteroid in your orbit until the window closed for feedback and returns.

[Snowman]

Plenty of assholes in this hobby. I'm not sure that age or tenure has much to do with it though. But there's also no shortage of great people. Only one of these groups of people are worth your time.

[MINES_MINT]

The anonymity and space provided by the online marketplace contributes a lot to these behavior patterns in my opinion. The same guy would most likely act buddy-buddy in person to try and secure a deal.

I personally appreciate it when someone in the hobby gets out of line and shows me who they really are. When this happens, I believe them and gladly take my business elsewhere.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by BobbyStrawberry

Purely anecdotal, but I've found (here, ebay and elsewhere) that this issue seems to correlate with a general difference between a "collector" vs "investor" mentality as well.

Collectors have been so much more kind and appreciative of the opportunity to add to their collection by buying from me, or to help me add to mine by selling to me....many investors couldn't care less about any of this because it's all about the $$$.

A very tenured forum member once told me he only collects greenbacks. To that I say, best of luck to you!
.

[BobbyStrawberry]

Originally Posted by Leon

A very tenured forum member once told me he only collects greenbacks. To that I say, best of luck to you!
.

This thread needs a card, doesn't it...

[japhi]

Guess it depends on your definition of obnoxious, but I've been in the hobby since I was maybe ten and it has always been full of man-children. From the guy that ripped me off when I was 12, trading me photocopies of worthless prints, to the rude dealers set up at shows, to all the scammers that infect the hobby. The new card bro's may be annoying, but this hobby, at least for 40 years, has always been obnoxious.

[jingram058]

Originally Posted by japhi

Guess it depends on your definition of obnoxious, but I've been in the hobby since I was maybe ten and it has always been full of man-children. From the guy that ripped me off when I was 12, trading me photocopies of worthless prints, to the rude dealers set up at shows, to all the scammers that infect the hobby. The new card bro's may be annoying, but this hobby, at least for 40 years, has always been obnoxious.

Could not agree more. Well said! Add this to it: if I'm buying cards, they're through the roof. If I'm selling, they're worthless, pennies on the dollar. The buyer is doing me a favor taking them off my hands.

[Tabe]

Originally Posted by japhi

Guess it depends on your definition of obnoxious, but I've been in the hobby since I was maybe ten and it has always been full of man-children. From the guy that ripped me off when I was 12, trading me photocopies of worthless prints, to the rude dealers set up at shows, to all the scammers that infect the hobby. The new card bro's may be annoying, but this hobby, at least for 40 years, has always been obnoxious.

I would agree.

Alan Rosen anyone?

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Tabe

I would agree.

Alan Rosen anyone?

Yeah, Mr. Mint set the bar for obnoxiousness, didn't he?

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

Yeah, Mr. Mint set the bar for obnoxiousness, didn't he?

I'd have preferred Mr. Mint and two Bruces to the typical "new breed" of card show dealer...

[Deertick]

Originally Posted by Eric72

I'd have preferred Mr. Mint and two Bruces to the typical "new breed" of card show dealer...

I walked into a card store and was ignored for 20 minutes while the two owners excitedly discussed their plans for their next livestream "break"/ lottery. It involved a display case with items numbered, bidding on 'slots', then random generated numbers that would award the card. They would start at lower valued 'shelves' to keep interest for the entire stream and increase the bidding for slots.
I'm not really sure how it came to this, or how it is legal, but it is the norm apparently.

By the time I walked out, I was still unacknowledged.

[ullmandds]

I was called a troll on a facebook card group for disputing erroneous facts that were stated regarding the lucky 7 cobb/cobb find.

[rjackson44]

Originally Posted by ullmandds

I was called a troll on a facebook card group for disputing erroneous facts that were stated regarding the lucky 7 cobb/cobb find.

Hi Pete sell a lot on fb groups the trolls you have to put up with is insane omg

[ullmandds]

Originally Posted by rjackson44

Hi Pete sell a lot on fb groups the trolls you have to put up with is insane omg

ya the card BROS love to spew false info to try to sound cool/smart to their fellow card BROS.

It's not exactly FIRE...BRO!

[bigfish]

Originally Posted by Leon

That person is just an ass-wipe.
.

Unfortunately, these people sit behind their phone screen / computer screen all day and type this crap. In person it could be a very different experience for them.

[bobbyw8469]

Originally Posted by rjackson44

Hi Pete sell a lot on fb groups the trolls you have to put up with is insane omg

I'm dealing with that now....some of those groups are unreal. Makes me want to NEVER sell anything there.

[Snapolit1]

Hobby is always going to attract its fair share of hustlers and scammers. And many of those people don't have successful backgrounds in business or anything else and have no idea how to act. Some of the emails I've gotten thru eBay have been so aggressively rude and stupid I had to laugh.

I will say that while we've of course had a few rude idiots pop up on BST over the years, 100% of the transactions I've done here have been without a single issue and handled cordially. Never had a transaction here that wasn't a pleasure.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by ullmandds

ya the card BROS love to spew false info to try to sound cool/smart to their fellow card BROS.

It's not exactly FIRE...BRO!

Are you sure about that? Next, you’re going to tell me some of them wear half-shirts and run fraudulent box breaks…

[Aquarian Sports Cards]

Originally Posted by rjackson44

Hi Pete sell a lot on fb groups the trolls you have to put up with is insane omg

Originally Posted by ullmandds

ya the card BROS love to spew false info to try to sound cool/smart to their fellow card BROS.

It's not exactly FIRE...BRO!

The 1952 Topps Mantle in my next auction was the beneficiary of those people. The owner posted it raw on FB asking for advice. Nearly everyone posted that it was fake. I drove two hours to lunch with him to confirm it was real. Keep being obnoxious know-it-all bros, I'll reap the rewards.

[rjackson44]

Originally Posted by Aquarian Sports Cards

The 1952 Topps Mantle in my next auction was the beneficiary of those people. The owner posted it raw on FB asking for advice. Nearly everyone posted that it was fake. I drove two hours to lunch with him to confirm it was real. Keep being obnoxious know-it-all bros, I'll reap the rewards.

good man scott good move

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by Aquarian Sports Cards

The 1952 Topps Mantle in my next auction was the beneficiary of those people. The owner posted it raw on FB asking for advice. Nearly everyone posted that it was fake. I drove two hours to lunch with him to confirm it was real. Keep being obnoxious know-it-all bros, I'll reap the rewards.

That was so beautiful, I nearly shed a tear. Great job, Scott.

[Yoda]

Speaking as one who opened his first pack in 1951 (Bowmans, of course), I have seen the hobby, yes, once it was a hobby, morph into something unrecognizable. The only way one saw the transfer of cards was by trading, usually done within a tight circle of neighborhood pals similarly affected by the "bug". Our dads, being baseball fans, encouraged our hobby but were not involved in the commercial end of things except to give us our allowances, which naturally were spent on cards. Of course, cash deals rarely occurred because nobody had any money to speak of, so in effect we were both collectors and dealers.

Such modern devices such as TPGers, AHs, Ebay simply did not exist. The monetization of cards has made many people wealthy, but the hobby has lost some of its soul. The obnoxious, I am richer than you, thus I am better than you, attitude of some is reflective of that sad reality of today's market.

[T205 GB]

I think the hobby overall has become more brash between sellers and buyers due to zero ethics or logic anymore, hyper inflation, rapid increase in taxes, and the rapid increase/decrease in card values. Plenty of dicks hanging out everywhere trying to make a buck and be offended by an offer close to comp or discount for large amounts. Plenty of buyers asking for cards and not giving any actual info of what they are looking for.

Example: "I need cards for my 1956 set. I have some stars and a lot of commons already. Just need fillers in the same condition as the set I am building."

Yeah great info there. Only missing everything needed to make decisions on what to send or not. What is the overall condition needed? What stars do you have already or need? Do you want upgrades or just fillers? What is your budget? Graded w/grading company preference or raw? What the F**k do you actually want for cripes sake? Then the person is offended by so many questions?

OR, "I have this list of cards that are priced according to recent comps FS. PM me if interested"

Hey sir/mam, I found a few cards I am interested in buying that are comped at this amount. Can you sell them for this amount or can you tell me where you found these prices so I can see the comps are accurate(me already knowing I have searched the entire web and all its trusted pricing resources I have available)? I can offer this amount based on what I found and here is where I found it. Seller gets offended and tells me to find other cards and they were not willing to sell for comps even though they claimed to be selling for comp. Claims buyer is ripping them off but never gave info on where they got comps from even though it was requested. Weeks later the cards are the last ones still FS and prices are near what I offered and probably what they will now sell for.

So, I just tell them to suck it when they respond like a dick. Yep I am that guy to be an a$$hole when people get butt hurt. No filter, and no need to pm that when I can out their ignorant a$$ to everyone else so they avoid buying from them. If people chose not to do business with me over that then that is on them.

[bnorth]

Originally Posted by Eric72

Are you sure about that? Next, you’re going to tell me some of them wear half-shirts and run fraudulent box breaks…

Those aren't half-shirts. That's a sports bra to keep from jiggling too much from the excitement of a big hit. Half-shirts was that mistake we wore back in the mid 80s.

[Eric72]

Originally Posted by bnorth

those aren't half-shirts. That's a sports bra to keep from jiggling too much from the excitement of a big hit. Half-shirts was that mistake we wore back in the mid 80s.:d

roflmfao

[Mike D.]

When cards are “hot” (junk wax era, now) I think the “quick buck” crowd jump in. When things are “normal”, they’re off chasing “easy money” somewhere else.