I have no idea what this means

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Posted By: warshawlaw 

ebay is not the only place for description puffing. Every auction, I always look for the worst examples of BS in the catalogue. Here are some excerpts from Mastro's T206 Plank auction for a GAI 2 specimen:

"it can be stated definitively that the white-bordered tobacco insert card of Eddie Plank is the second most valuable baseball card in our hobby."

Well, no, it can't. I can think of half a dozen other cards (Leon, help me out here) that are more valuable than the Plank card.

"Its caption is clear and undisturbed, and centering (which favors the top aspect) leaves intact the viewer's overall impression of satisfaction."

centering which favors the top aspect-does that mean it is off centered to the top? Turning a flaw into a description item is a nice trick. Sort of like labeling a car with a dead engine as low fuel consumption.

"Although corners reflect evidence of handling befitting the item's grade, minor creases are peripheral in nature and do not impinge upon the warm gestalt of its aesthetic."

The warm gestalt of its aesthetic??? I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. I suspect that they are calling it a beater with a nice image? They use their tongues prettier than a $20 whore.

Here is another, lot 1474, their Zeenuts lot. See if you can pick out what is wrong with the description:

"This wonderful collection of 43 different Zeenut "Coast League" cards features the three baseball-playing DiMaggio brothers (all with their surname spelled, "DeMaggio," and including Joe, on two differently posed examples), along with other members of such teams as the Seals, Missions and Hollywood Stars. The 1-3/4" x 2-3/4", b/w cards, perennially regarded as sought-after hobby treasures, have been detached from their original lower-edge coupons. Highlights of the assembly include: J. DiMaggio - Batting (EX), J. DiMaggio - Throwing (EX/MT), D. DiMaggio (FR/GD), V. DiMaggio (GD/VG), Crosetti (EX), O'Doul (EX), Pinelli (EX) and Joost (VG). These beautifully focused items display traces of tape mounting on their blank backs as often seen, along with, in some cases, neatly cropped corners. Since neither aspect interferes with the cards' player images, they have been disregarded in the grading description of these scarce pieces. The collection grades 25% EX to EX/MT, 45% VG to VG/EX, balance lesser. This is a very desirable array of 1930's Pacific Coast League (and future Major League) baseball talent."

Give up? They've graded the cards but for the back damage AND cut corners! So, we have ex-mt Dimaggio cards with tape on the backs, and cards with corners cut off. In other words, we have poor to good condition cards. I dont know how we can make fun of the "near mint with a crease" ebayers when the preeminent auction house uses a listing like this.