kudos once again to Barry Sloate..

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Posted By: barrysloate

Too easy.

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Posted By: Jason L

I heard they are getting the band back together for some episodes of Curb your Enthusiasm,...should be very interesting

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Posted By: Dan Bretta

I read that about a month ago. All of the Seinfeld regulars will appear on Curb this fall.

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Posted By: barrysloate

I heard it too, and I'm guessing the theme for the season may be that Larry is trying to do a Seinfeld reunion show...how else can all four of them be worked into the story? All but Michael Richards have already appeared in episodes.

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Posted By: marshall barkman

Barry are we cross? Does this mean we are not friends? I do not think i could bear it if we were not friends......Marshall takes out both guns and puts them on the table.....now perhaps we can be friends.

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Posted By: barrysloate

Sure Marshall, friends.

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Posted By: George HC

And I thought this guy was leaving the board for good...

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Posted By: David McDonald

And I thought this guy was leaving the board for good...

It is long past time that Sloate character should have been banned.

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Posted By: barrysloate

David knows...

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Posted By: Steve F

Your trapped in a room with a two rabid wolves and Marshall. The guns on the table have one round each... What would you do.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but couldn't control it.

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Posted By: barrysloate

I know the answer, but I intend to take the high road.

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Posted By: Anonymous

The question assumes you can tell them apart.

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Posted By: Doug

There is no chin behind Barry's beard. There is only another fist.

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Posted By: Alan

Is Marshall back ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVS3WNt7yRU

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Posted By: MVSNYC

Doug...i like where you're going with this...


-If you have five dollars and Barry has five dollars, Barry has more money than you.

-There is no 'ctrl' button on Barry's computer. Barry is always in control.

-Apple pays Barry .99 cents every time he listens to a song.

-Barry can sneeze with his eyes open.

-Barry can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

-Barry is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

-Barry destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

-Barry can kill two stones with one bird.




Barry is Aces.

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Posted By: Anthony S.

You forgot:

Barry can slam a revolving door.

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Posted By: Steven Finley

There are no short printed cards. There are only cards Barry doesn't like as much as the others.

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Posted By: marshall barkman

Actually i was quoting a line from the movie Tombstone when a fellow is highly upset with Doc Holliday at the beginning of the movie.....i figured no one would get it. I have no issues with you Barry because i do not get offended.

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Posted By: quan

barry doesn't cut his grass, he stands there and dares it to grow...
there's no such thing as disabled people, only people that have pissed off barry.

true story: barry lost his virginity before his father.

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Posted By: David McDonald

Barry could take a man out with just one punch
But he never did like to talk about it all that much
"It's my work," he'd say,
"I do it for pay."

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Posted By: Dan Bretta

One time I was with Barry in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Barry goes up to the deer and says, Im Barry Sloate! SAY IT! Then he manipulates the deers lips in such a way as to make it say, Barrysloate It wasnt exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

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Posted By: Dan Bretta

When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon he found a bottle of scotch and Barry's wallet.

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Posted By: Steven Finley

Fred Merkle didn't forget to touch second. He simply realized Barry already occupied the base and in his words "Didn't want to intrude upon Barry's space."

In related history. The Cub's didn't "retrieve" the ball from the bleachers. While cowarding in fear under the bleachers, Johnny Evers discovered an equally frightened ball and after waiting several minutes for Barry to decide to take his greatness elsewhere he and the ball returned to second base and the rest is well....

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Posted By: MVSNYC

i posted this TRUE story last August...here it is again, in its entirety...

"i must say, this is the first i'm hearing about the Sloate comment...i have seen, first hand, Barry in the clubs, he rolls in with the chains, fadora hat, velour shirts and the irresistable scent of "sex panther"...Barry is unstoppable, women go nuts for him...i mean i have tons of game and do pretty well with the ladies myself, but the girls walk right past me when Sloate's in the club. i remember this one time he was holding court poolside on the roof of the Gansevoort, we had Wonka there, Lichtman, Leon and maybe about 11 to 15 models all around us, i think Lindsey Lohan or one of those other celebs was there with us too...anyway, Barry was sipping Grand Marnier and doing slight-of-hand magic tricks and telling hysterical jokes...i mean we were slumped over laughing, and everyone was applauding...i think at one point, he was making balloon animals for the models (they like that sort of thing)...so before we knew it, the manager came over and bought us dinner and drinks for the rest of the night. i think by 4am, the manager offered Barry the penthouse suite adjacent to the pool...he retired to said suite with 5 girls on his arms (he left us with a few he didn't fancy)...i've never seen such prowess with the ladies...anyone who questions his manhood, need only buy him a Grand Marnier at the bar to get him started, then sit back and marvel at the legend."

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Posted By: Dan Bretta

He sired a baseball team....an orchestra if you count the bastards.

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Posted By: MVSNYC

OK...a few more.


"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

"He sweats Gatorade"

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

"He sheds his skin once a year."

"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

"Barry could palm a medicine ball!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Barry took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Barry takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Barry yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

"They found $60 in change in his stomach."

"Barry drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"He once inhaled a seagull."

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

"He has dandruff the size of mice!"

"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"

"Barry's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Barry was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Barry chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."

"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

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Posted By: barrysloate

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Posted By: joe brennan

I heard that Barry graduated high school one year ahead of George Burns. It's just a hobby rumor though.

In Rememberance of James W. Brennan Sr. 1924-1982. Dad, thanks for everything you did for me.

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Posted By: Jason L

for Best of 2009

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Posted By: Fred C

Oh my God...

I had a dream last night and a voice spoke to me. The voice told me to do something so I woke up and I got my Beatles "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album out and I played side 2 track 6 backwards at 1/3 speed and there it was.... John Lenon repeating "Barry's the Messiah, Barry's the Messiah". Now I am a desciple of Barry...

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Posted By: Red

We'd all not be here today if he hadn't put his big bang theory to the test.

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Posted By: Anonymous

Barry stares at the sun during a total solar eclipse and the sun goes blind.

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Posted By: Anthony S.

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Barry has allowed to live."

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Posted By: Alan

I just wish Barry would come to a National, so we can toast him in person.

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Posted By: judson hamlin

And how about...

Even Hunter S Thompson said "no way, man" to half the stuff Barry did in the 70's.

The original song title was "Bad, Bad Barry Sloate"

The Soup Nazi has never refused soup to Barry

He's very big in Sicily (if you know what I mean)

Inchon landing? Based on Barry's first childhood doodle

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Posted By: John

Barry has some of the most bad ass prison tats you will ever see!

Last dinner he melted a plastic comb with a lighter and gave both Sarno and I killer black spider tattoos on our back sides with a ball point pen.

Thanks again Barry!

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Posted By: Tyler

I heard he has moles so big they have their own moles.

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Posted By: Dave F

Wonka-

Unfortunately I'm picturing Sloate down on one knee tattooing ya'lls butts.

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Posted By: john/z28jd

My favorite Barry Sloate moment in my own personal life. I've never actually met the guy but if I do someday I wouldn't say I never met him anymore


http://www.network54.com/Forum/153652/message/1209047796/Re-+Barry+Sloate+Auctions+Now+Open+for+Bidding

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Posted By: judson hamlin

Barry turned me into a newt...
and I didn't get better

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Posted By: john/z28jd

Did you know if you rearrange the letters in Barry's name he gets angry.

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Posted By: Eric Brehm

Barry doesn't use a Spell Checker, the Oxford English Dictionary conforms to his usage...

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Posted By: MVSNYC

-Barry's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

-If Barry round-house kicks you, you will die. If Barry misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

-In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Barry Sloate.

-Everybody loves Raymond. Except Barry Sloate.

-Barry can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

-Barry doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

-Barry doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

-The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Barry Sloate entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

-The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Barry in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

-Staring at Barry for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

-One time, Barry Sloate accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

-Barry Sloate can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

-Barry Sloate has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

-If you were somehow able to land a punch on Barry Sloate, your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

-Barry Sloate uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

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Posted By: Tyler

I heard he has moles so big they have their own moles.

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Posted By: J Levine

Wondering what Barry's middle name might be...

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Posted By: Dan Koteles

did you know that Barry had a little lamb ?

Did you know they named a song after thee Barry, called "Barry dont you walk so fast" . It went, Barry dont you walk so fast, oh oh oh oha Barry dont you walk so fast, Barry slow down some cause your makin'me _ ,uh Barry dont you walk so fast.

Barry's pop used to sey hey stupid, Barry thought he was calling him hey.

All in fun Barry , since you are roasted ,I couldnt resist !

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Posted By: Dan Koteles

Barry's middle name is Francis Marshall

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Posted By: barrysloate

It has been all in fun Dan, and everyone has been so kind (and funny too). But I feel a little embarrassed to see my name keep popping up to the top, so maybe it is time to say thank you to all and let this one slide down.

And my middle name is David.

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Posted By: john/z28jd

You might not want the recognition but just think of all the positive publicity youll get from this thread when people google "Barry Sloate"


I will sell my cards thru Barry for fear of retribution

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Posted By: Fred C

It aint sliding until it's a hundred post thread. This is 99! Next will be 100!