Pandemic Football

[frankbmd]

If only a limited number of socially-distanced fans can attend games, the rules of the game must be modified as well.

1. The offensive line must be socially distanced (6ft)

2. The defense cannot line up within two yards of the line of scrimmage.

3. Violation of the 2 yard neutral zone (See Rule 2) results in an encroachment penalty.

4. Most blocking or tackling is prohibited. Anyone carrying the ball must wear a flag at least 7 feet in length. Removal of the flag by a socially distanced opponent constitutes a tackle and the end of the play.

5. The flags must hang freely and not be folded to shorten their effective length. Opposing coaches may challenges an opponent's flag length at any time.

6. Pass rushers who intend to sack the quarterback must wear face masks. However all physical sacks will result in a roughing penalty as sacks can only be the result of flag removal from the quarterback.

7. A player not wearing a flag may not advance the ball under any circumstances.

8. A freshly sanitized ball must be provided for every snap. The ball may be touched by only three players per play.

9. Without the protection of an offensive line, field goal and extra point attempts may be attempted from any distance behind the line of scrimmage the kicking team desires.

10. Since all punt returns employing the Ring of Saturn (where the receiving team circles the flag of the punt of punt returner, the Ring of Saturn is banned in much the same way as the Flying Wedge in days of yore.

11. All players on the field at the beginning of each quarter must have their temperature checked by a scantily clad cheerleader. Players with elevated temperatures are suspended for one quarter, but must remain socially distanced from the cheerleader.

Without contact, blocking or tackling proving participation in the tilt will be difficult, so all players will be awarded with a "participation trophy" immediately after the game.

Enjoy the game.