The New Directory of Collectorisms...

[Leon]

Quote- "Get busy collecting, or get busy dying"?

I think a lot of us get busy collecting almost everyday! And as they say, every day above ground, is a good day!!

.

[JollyElm]

“By the pricking of my thumbs (undoubtedly from trying to remove a card from an overly snug toploader),
Some more gibberish this way comes..."


I present to you Collectorisms Part XIV - Section 1


***ALERT!!!!!!***
This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #863 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.


Happily, this is now a pet-friendly thread. So, a reminder: Never swing a bat at a hornet's nest. Never. Just walk away. Perhaps, go get yourself a Big Mac or whatever for lunch instead? It doesn't matter if you're wielding your wonderful late aunt's antique smoker in a playful, semi-drunk manner on a sunny afternoon long ago...winged, stinging insects with wicked alarm pheromones are the devil's doing!!! Not going to make that mistake again.
DO NOT read "The New Directory of Collectorisms" if you are allergic to "The New Directory of Collectorisms."


If Collecting was easy, everyone would do it!!*




847. Bidass
A renegade who has the temerity to place a bid for more than the minimally required increment in the ‘Live Auctions’ section.

848. Senile Implant
A card which has been on your need list forever that you unexpectedly stumble across hidden away somewhere in your stuff, and you can’t for the life of you remember ever owning it or placing it there.

849. Nobel Post Prize
Any comment, pick-up, uploaded pic, etc., which makes people exclaim, “You win the thread!”

See also: Havalanche - someone blowing everybody’s minds with their incredible stockpile of applicable cards in any ‘Show Us Your...’ thread.

850. Having a Sheet Tooth
A collector who enjoys expanding his collection of uncut printing pieces.

851. “If the card doesn’t fit, you mustn’t submit”
The time-honored reminder to always take the simple step of measuring out a card and comparing its size to other cards from the same set before sending it off to be graded.

852. Intoxicrated (also Drunk Slab)
A card housed inside of a holder with AA (Authentic Altered) on the label.

853. Betterwürsten (Ger.)
The obligatory addition of the phrase “some better, some worse” after giving a specific assessment of the overall condition of a group of cards.

854. Hannibal Collecter
Anyone who is perfectly fine with adding ‘skinned’ cards to his collection.

855. Soldfinger
A seller who is always able to turn your consignments into great victories for your bank account.

See also: Posse Galore - no matter how many times disreputable consignment persons or entities are exposed, they will always have a group of apologists waiting in line to sing their praises.

856. Misorienteer
Anyone uploading a picture which shows up rotated sideways, with its top and bottom being positioned wrongly to the left and right.

See also: Slantomime - the act of tilting one’s head to the side in order to ‘correctly’ view the picture in the thread.

See also: Tilting Tommy - anyone engaged in this type of (necessary) activity.

See also: Slanthropologist - a member who helps guide you through the process of correcting this uploaded picture problem.

857. Misundermistaken
When a card you auctioned off sells for seriously more than you could have ever imagined.

See also: Misovermistaken - when a card you auctioned off sells for a significantly lower amount than you fully expected it to.

858. “You Shoulda Put a Number On It”
The dismayed reaction to someone hyping an ungraded card they’re trying to sell, which makes you wonder, “If it’s so great, why didn’t you have it graded...like every single other card you sell??”

859. Frieze-Framer
Any card featuring the hallowed, world renowned Yankee Stadium ‘facade’ majestically lining the rooftop of the ballpark in the background.

860. Disapperson
The screenname of someone you’ve completely forgotten about - although he used to be an ever-present, regular poster on the site - that you run across while reading through an old, outdated thread.

861. “I flew too close to the sun on wings of cardboard”
A humble self-assessment after taking a great risk on a purchase, sale or other hobby decision that ultimately turned out to be a terribly poor move.

862. Wesunseldian (refer to #595) (eponym)
A player who seemingly spends an inordinate amount of time playing the role of co-star on other people’s cards.

863. Mountainearness
The claustrophobic feeling of being surrounded by backpack-wearing, outfitted-to-tackle-Kilimanjaro show-goers as they crowd out and bump into everyone around the tables.

See also: Cardsherpa - anyone at a show who is strapped into a large backpack.

864. Musical Rares
When a discovery is made of a crop of ‘lost’ cards - like E98s from the “Black Swamp Find” or the appearance of dozens of cases of 1972 Topps football high numbers - and you’re left standing as the ones you’ve always owned and treasured instantly become a lot less scarce.

See also: A Fate Worse Than Dearth - the rueful realization that in one fell swoop this newly found group of cards has severely lowered the value of yours.

865. Ghestwriter (also Secretarialist)
The clubhouse person who was responsible for ‘autographing’ items in place of a star player who couldn’t be bothered to do so.

866. Snakebelly Pricing
When a seller refuses to put price tags on the fronts of his slabs and holders for all to see, and instead must remove each card from his display case and consult the sticker on its underside to tell you what he’s asking for it.

See also: Great Wit Shark - a predatory seller who thinks his wonderful jocularity, charm and hobby banter is enough to make you ignore his extortionate prices.

867. Crop Smirkles
The entertainment and joy derived from looking at wildly miscut cards.

868. Eyevestigation
A request for members to examine a picture of a card or other piece you have questions about, in the hope that effective insights, opinions and answers can be offered to you.

See also: “Mr. Roarke says hello.” - a gentle way to tell you the item you are seeking information on is nothing more than a fantasy piece.

869. Past-Salesmanship
The skill of effectively moving cards by ensuring your asking prices are very much in line with what similar ones have sold for recently.

See also: Lessen-Lesson - any information that allows a seller to see more clearly and wisely lower his price on a card.

870. Swilljaimet (eponym)
The garbage a scandalous member wants everyone to swallow as he dodges legitimate questions about his integrity and starts playing the victim in a thread he started in a silly attempt at damage control.

See also: 12-Sidestep Program - the process of someone pretending to come here seeking ‘hobby redemption’ (whatever that is), while avoiding answering any direct questions put to him or actually owning up to any of the misdeeds he was shown to have perpetrated.

871. Steinblech
Any long-winded, novel-length post in a thread that you have no desire to read.

See also: Stubtitles - when somebody sums up another member’s lengthy TLDR (“too long, didn’t read”) post in a short and simple, concise retelling of the main points.

See also: Count TLDRacula - someone whose overly long, drawn-out, and/or lecturing post saps the very lifeblood from your soul.

872. Blurbanking
The purposeful use of slightly hazy or unclear pictures of a card in order to obscure its shortcomings - like the true condition of its corners - and profit off of a buyer’s assumption that it’s in better shape than it is.

873. Historical Lackuracy
How common sense, logic and anecdotal evidence leaves no doubt that the year of issue date of a card set is different from what it has always been accepted to be.

See also: Year and Loathing - the disgust in knowing that although you can prove the date of issue on a TPG’s labels for a particular card set is wrong, there’s no chance they’ll ever agree to correct it.

874. Capernicus
An expert in the field of supporting or opposing the identification and/or dating of a game used hat.

875. Overwanter
Someone posting cards for trade which are generally collected by ‘everyone,’ but whose need list is comprised of extremely tough gets or things that are much more valuable than what he’s offering in return.

876. Back and Frothing
When talks about a proposed sale or trade of a card go from being polite and courteous negotiations to swiftly heading downhill and straight into the crapper.

877. Binder Banter
Any discussion centered around the joys and pains of trying to complete full sets.

878. Nopuncts (NP’s)
Members whose posts are run-on sentences without a single capital letter, period, comma or other punctuation mark used to separate thoughts or topic changes and let the reader know where one sentence ends and a new one begins.

879. Sideklicks
Any live links embedded in a member’s signature/footer.

880. Cardboard Inversiality
The law of nature stating that the higher the card numbers in a set go, the fewer of them you will have in your boxes.



End of section 1...so, head outside and feel how the growing warmth means the start of the baseball season is nearly upon us at last!!!

[Lordstan]

This is awesome. There are too many good one for me to list. I did create one term a while ago, you could add to the list if you want...Kreindleritis.

https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=132908

[JollyElm]

Originally Posted by Lordstan

This is awesome. There are too many good one for me to list. I did create one term a while ago, you could add to the list if you want...Kreindleritis.

https://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=132908

Thanks! Since you're probably the only person still reading this stuff, stay tuned for the 'Part 2' drop in a couple of days.

[Yoda]

Darren, as I have said before, you should be a university professor teaching alternative English. John

[JollyElm]

"I only regret that I have but one long, boring thread to give for my hobby..."

I present to you 2022's Collectorisms Part XIV - Section 2




881. Populrarity
A card whose ‘scarcity’ is due to the number on the slab having a small population, rather than the card itself being a truly rare piece.

882. Sniffsnuffery (or Having a Nose for Noes)
How you can immediately tell something is amiss with a supposedly vintage card, because it simply doesn’t smell the way cards from that era do.

883. Dud Ringer
Someone who won’t stop insisting that the individual pictured in his old photograph is a very noteworthy and historical person, when it clearly is not.

884. Snobbyist
A collector who takes his involvement in the leisurely pursuit of cards much, much too seriously.

See also: “Careful of that ceiling fan!” - a polite way to tell him to get off of his high horse.

885. Phonaticism
Surging headlong into negotiation battles at card shows with your cell phone - and the vast amount of past-sales data and other effective ammunition it holds - leading the charge.

886. The Popman Always Rings Twice (proverb)
The supposition that PSA willfully gives cards lower grades than they deserve, for the express purpose of grabbing additional revenue from collectors who are fated to resubmit them in an attempt to receive higher numbers.

887. Rolodexterity
Whether fees are involved or not, a dealer/collector putting his far-reaching hobby contacts and client lists to work to help a somebody chase down an item he’s been seeking.

See also: Finder’s Flea - a fellow collector who has the ability to help you locate something you’re after, but won’t commit to helping unless he’s able to personally benefit from the transaction.

888. Acronymble
A card that will hold the same monetary resale value regardless of which TPG’s holder it happens to be housed in or crossed over to.

889. Woodwinding
The use of OBO (“or best offer”) as a coda in a ‘for sale’ post.

890. “Sammy Slippers”
A collector whose first thought about attending an upcoming show is, “Man, I gotta wear the right shoes, so my aching feet and back don’t send me hobbling towards the exits after ten minutes.”

891. Return on Infestment
Making a killing on card sales, because the people overpaying for your stuff are part of the tidal wave of newbies recently jumping into the hobby with a lack of collecting knowledge, but plenty of cash to throw around.

See also: “Like shooting fish on a bubble” (idiom) - the ease of recording quick profits following the intense swelling of the market during and after the pandemic.

892. Backpattery
The universal desire of receiving an abundant amount of complimentary pats on the back from other members after posting a card in the ‘new pick-ups’ thread.

See also: Haulpapering - when you open the ‘new pick-ups’ thread and see a member’s joy over his latest addition, and then you see his screenname under “Last Post” in other threads and know he has just posted the same card in those as well.

893. Slabo-Masochist
A collector who finds pleasure in seeking out cards housed in newer slabs where the graders took a special delight in inflicting harsh pain and humiliation on submitters.

894. Gilly Route
When members take the path of using letter-like symbols and such to camouflage their real names, while still leaving them identifiable.

See also: Guise and LOLs - when one of these disguised names is done in a humorous fashion.

895. Shelf Papering
A seller exclaiming “Under Book!” to describe the asking price of his card.

896. Iwish Exit (slang)
When you quickly bail on an auction after the bidding has gotten much too high, much too early, because you can’t even dream of having enough money to ultimately win it.

See also: Battering Scram - an early bid in an auction so high that it’s clear intent is to chase everyone else away.

897. Schmucker Punched
The resentment of seeing a vintage die-cut, perforated card - that was designed to be punched out by a kid - which was ACTUALLY punched out.

898. Qualifya Obscūra (Latin)
A graded card listing where the seller hides the acronym for the qualifier in a random part of the title to avoid making it obvious that the card has said qualifier, such as “1960 Topps PSA 8 #563 Mickey Mantle All-Star Vintage Hall Of Fame OC NY Yankees.”

899. Lackbluster
The dopey playacting strategy of approaching someone about a card and then purposely downplaying your actual interest in it - “Well, I may, sorta, could possibly be interested in it” - to get him to sweeten the deal or lower the price to make it worthwhile for you to take away such a ‘humdrum’ card.

900. Raccoonteur
A collector who loves to share entertaining stories of his experiences foraging through garage sale tables or the discount bins at card shows.

901. eBayviously
The “Duh!!”-worthy common sense that when someone asks for help seeking out a card, you never have to refer him to eBay, because it’s naturally the first place he looked and where he will continue to look.

902. Integerity
When card purchases are made strictly as investments, the familiar phrase of “buy the card, not the holder” is flipped on its head to now become “buy the number on the holder, not the card.”

903. Nitprick
Someone intent on doing deep dives into people’s posts to invent something to bitch about.

See also: Thread Lice - members who seemingly always need to scratch the itch of bringing negativity to the threads they visit.

See also: Lesser of Two Weevils - when two annoying members are going after each other in a thread and you have to decide which of the pests you should side with in this particular battle.

See also: Scold Shoulder - when someone acts like an ass in a thread, and you debate whether you should call him out on his BS or just ignore it and let the fool have his fun.

904. Double Post-Op
After someone inadvertently ‘double posts’ and you feel the need to examine both of them to see if they are actually word for word identical or if differences can be found.

905. WiseGIY
An eBay seller basically telling you to go grade-it-yourself as he uses "see scan for condition" as his only assessment of the card he’s auctioning off.

906. Scarredboard
After selling a card to someone, the heartbreak of seeing him showing it off and taking great pride in his new pick-up, and you’re left wondering if you made a huge mistake in letting it go.

907. Heatnik
A spirited collector of Nolan Ryan cards and memorabilia.

908. Pausterity
The decision a collector faces of whether to buy a card (that he can’t afford) right now, to finally make it his forevermore, or to put the purchase on hold in the hopes of finding a much more reasonably priced one down the road.

909. Slabstract
A card sitting inside of any strange holder that was not issued by one of the commonly-accepted leading TPG’s, and usually by a company you’ve never heard of before.

910. Voice Train-Rec
When grammar, misspellings and/or general unreadability make it obvious that someone used their phone’s text-to-speech function and didn’t take even a second to read what their post actually says before blindly hitting ‘send.’

911. Franticizing
The urge to hit a card show floor running, darting around to the tables with the goal of trying to unearth and get to treasured dream cards before anyone else has the chance to ‘steal’ them away from you.

912. Wiffle Ball Scholar
Someone whose opinions on all things baseball are taken with a grain of salt, because his vast experience in playing the game amounts to nothing more than being easily struck out by his little niece at family barbecues.

See also: “Joebuck Yourself!” - the universal exclamation of frustration when once again the last person on Earth you would ever want calling a game happens to be the person calling the game you’ve tuned in to watch.

See also: Bobcostasshole - any athletically-challenged, self-satisfied, lecturing narcissist sitting behind the mic.

913. Blunderlined
Cards that were printed with annoying factory ‘crop’ lines clearly visible.

See also: Wallenda - when the crop line floats high above the top of the card’s image.

See also: Trip Wired - when the crop line is strung across the very bottom of the card.

914. Circle Backache
When you spot a card you want at a show at the right price and you don’t immediately grab it, you know full well when you decide to return to that dealer’s table later, it will be long gone.

915. Cost Suppressant (refer to #25)
The deliberate removal of the asking price of a card in a thread after it has been sold.

See also: Sticker Stifler - a seller who chooses to edit out the price of his card to make it now read something to the effect of “$SOLD.”

See also: Dollarsense - the argument that leaving the sales price in for everyone to see is beneficial to the entire collecting community.

See also: Stetsman - someone who abides by the principal of leaving his asking price in and unchanged following a sale.

916. Dope Springs Eternal
The sad fact that no matter how many effective safeguards are put in place, there will always be people falling victim to card-buying scams that are blatantly obvious to everyone else.


And section 2 comes to an end...so now you have time to hit the all-u-can-eat buffet tables of your life and then sleep like a prince!!

[JollyElm]

"Sons of Net54!

Of eBay!

My brothers in cardboard!

I see in your eyes the same fear of losing an auction that would take the heart of me.

aragornwithcards.jpg

A day may come when the courage of Collectors fails, when we forsake other members’ threads and break all bonds of fellowship by no longer paying attention to each other’s posts...but it is NOT this day.

An hour of complainers and card doctors and apologists when the Age of Collectors comes crashing down...but it is NOT this day!

This day...WE COLLECT!!!!!”


Translation: I present to you Collectorisms Part XV - Section 1


***ALERT!!!!!!***
My precious...this is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
Before you do anything, scroll down to #934 and read it, so you will understand what's going on here.


No orcs were harmed during the creation of this post.
The all-seeing eye of Sauron is never used as a means to take a front row seat while your wives, girlfriends or daughters are in the shower. On occasion, however, he may sneak a peak at your naked, soapy body to give himself a well-deserved chuckle.
All Ents are 100% recyclable.



917. Upsized-Downsizing
Heinously taking an old card which happened to naturally measure out wider and/or taller than it was meant to be, and trimming it down to the ‘correct’ size...giving it newly and illegitimately perfected edges and corners.

918. Nickelwagsing
Responding to anyone snidely saying he knows exactly what you paid for a card you have for sale or trade by remarking, “Yeah...and someone paid five cents for a pack of cigarettes and got a T-206 Honus Wagner, so what’s your point??”

919. Bimwitting
Using the acronym “BMWT” in a ‘For sale’ listing to indicate delivery via “bubble-mailer with tracking.”

920. Recurriations
The lesser cousins of ‘true’ error and variation cards whose collectability is based on the appearance of routine print anomalies and oddities, such as fish eyes, print dots, color streaks, border gaps, splotches, offsets, etc., on them.

See also: Printanomilator - a spirited collector of such material.

See also: Grasping at Flaws - the reality that if you search for these types of printing aberrations, there will always be an inexhaustible supply of ‘new’ discoveries to be found.

921. Accumulabeler (slang)
A collector who routinely cracks cards out of their slabs, but doesn’t send the flips back to the TPGs to have the cert numbers removed from the pop reports.

See also: Depopt - when the cert number and/or other parts of the label of a graded card has been purposely blacked out or obscured in some fashion in a posted picture.

922. “You’re like four sharp corners on a round card”
The use of baseball card imagery to tell someone that he’s full of sh*t.

923. Snoozemovery (Snoozemover)
Under the precept of “if you snooze, you lose,” a seller deciding that he has given a potential buyer more than enough time to act, but since no deal is forthcoming, it is time to move on and let someone else have a crack at his item instead.

See also: Prebumptial Agreement - making a ‘low-ball’ offer to someone in the B/S/T, and he agrees to let you have the card IF after a final bumping of the thread, no one takes it at his original asking price.

924. “Syd”
Anyone referring to himself as a ‘Collector, Investor, Dealer.’

925. OKCD (Ordinary Kid Collecting ‘Disorder’)
The approach of collecting cards that mirrors how you did it as a boy, where centering, sharp corners, print clarity, etc., doesn’t come into play, and all that matters is getting your hands on the cards you want regardless of their shape.

926. Shoddy Double
When two of the same cards are sitting in holders with the exact same grade, but one looks a helluva lot worse than the other.

See also: Separated at Worth - the disparity between the looks and appeal, and therefore the monetary value, of two such ‘identical’ cards.

927. Mr. Magood Enough
The figurative Topps employee whose eyesight was responsible for ensuring the print sheets and cutting equipment were perfectly aligned and calibrated to create nothing but 50/50 centered cards.

928. Lead Winged Angel (or Saint Amisstopher)
A seller wrongly enjoying a glorious eBay rating, because the excessive amount of negatives he regularly receives are drowned out by the multitudes of obligatory positives he gets because of the sheer volume of cards he sells.

929. Flurrier
A card having too much print ‘snow’ affecting the image.

930. Addy Andy
Anyone still putting his personal e-mail address in their buying and selling posts, leaving the flood gates wide open for scammers.

See also: Google Glomster - a scammer who contacts you about buying one of his cards, but any image search will immediately return a photo of the exact same card he’s claiming to own.

931. Check Sold Prices Data Twice, Purchase Once (idiom)
A warning to be sure to double-check the fairness of an asking price (based on past sales) before making a mistake and spending a foolishly unreasonable amount on a card.

932. The Big Ho-Hah
The kerfuffle over different people having different pronunciations of Honus Wagner’s first name moniker.

933. Refractroulette
The obsessive, addictive mindset of getting a ‘fix’ by constantly throwing away money breaking open modern packs and boxes in the hope of finally hitting it big with a monstrous score.

934. Sneezeball (or Gesundheight of Stupidity) (derogative)
With ridiculous new rules making major league games fly by in the blink of an eye, the simple act of reaching for a tissue will cause you to miss three full innings.

935. Chupacardra
A mystical card caught between two realities, because although it can be found listed in ‘official’ on-line set checklists, no one has ever produced firm evidence that it truly exists.

936. Vamoosence (also Exit Page Left)
When you’ve had more than enough with a thread (or the people in it) and decide it’s time to leave it behind for good, but you do so without first making a grand announcement that this will be your final post in the thread.

See also: Withdrawbridge - the single post that finally tells you this thread has gone to the dogs and it’s time to make your exit.

937. M.V.C.
The main focus (the ‘most valuable card’) of any group of cards put up for sale.
“That one’s clearly the MVC!”

938. Rounding Upleap
Claiming how great your, for example, PSA 7 card is by stating, “I’ve seen PSA 8’s that are not nearly as nice as this one.”

939. “With friends and family like this, who needs enemies??!!”
A plaintive exhortation after being screwed over by using PayPal Friends & Family instead of opting for the safety of the Goods & Services option.

940. Lostening
The act of selling a card at fair market price, but in doing so you get back less than what you yourself paid for the card.

941. Parting is Such Swift Sorrow (maxim)
Although accompanied by an outpouring of grief and warm remembrances, the depressing way each ‘Sad News...’ thread about a player or collector passing away is fated to quickly disappear from the front page as the wheels of time continue to surge ahead.

942. Rage Parade
Taking a jealous trip through any ‘Post your (name of auction house here) wins’ thread only to see all of the celebration and jubilation surrounding people’s great pick-ups...pieces that you yourself were really hoping to win, but were outbid on.

943. Pompomposity
The new tactic sweeping the eBay community where sellers ostentatiously photograph their cards sitting proudly on clear plastic display stand easels to enthusiastically present them in a reverential light.

944. NSFWS (Not Safe for Wife to See)
Shorthand for any buy that makes you fear for your life thinking how your spouse is going to react when she gets wind of how much money you ‘threw away’ on a card.

945. Bugger-Bargainer (or Buggener) (informal)
A potential buyer whose goal isn’t to get a seller to come down a bit to a more ‘fair’ price for a card, but whose clear objective is nothing short of getting an absolute steal for himself.

946. Self-Interwresting
When a poster is seeking help with a situation he’s involved in and someone chimes in to say, “I had something similar happen to me...” and goes on to steer away the focus of the thread to make it about his problem instead.

947. Downumeralization
The technique of agreeing to trade a higher-graded, valuable card to someone for a lower-graded version of the same card, so in the end you will still own one, but you benefit by receiving other noteworthy cards along with it to bridge the value gap.

948. “One Step Up, Two Steps Back...Seven Steps Sideways”
An assessment of the difficulty in trying to keep in tune and current in the constantly shifting vintage card marketplace.

949. “Deleted with Prejudice” (refer to #168)
The legal term informing people that when a member edited out his post in a thread to make it say “delete,” his original words did not contain anything controversial, argumentative, or derogatory, and were removed for a harmless reason.

950. Scrubbish Binning
The act of pretending you’re doing something noble by donating boxes of cards to a local thrift shop or charity...but let’s face it, it was either this or just throw out the worthless heap of junky cards.

See also: Emptied Gesture - when you have the gall to first remove every single thing that could conceivably be called a ‘good’ card from the amassment before making the faux donation.



End of section 1...so, now you have 5 minutes to kill before moving on to the next thread. I recommend using it to watch a baseball game, but after it's finished you'll still have 3 more minutes to waste!!!