Weighing your cards

[Bigdaddy]

Originally Posted by egbeachley

Wouldn’t older cards expand in thickness and weigh more in humid environments?

I would imagine so, just like wood (from which paper is made).

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by Bigdaddy

I would imagine so, just like wood (from which paper is made).

Wood...

Sir Bedevere : There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

Peasant 1 : Are there? Oh well, tell us.

Sir Bedevere : Tell me. What do you do with witches?

Peasant 1 : Burn them.

Sir Bedevere : And what do you burn, apart from witches?

Peasant 1 : More witches.

Peasant 2 : Wood.

Sir Bedevere : Good. Now, why do witches burn?

Peasant 3 : ...because they're made of... wood?

Sir Bedevere : Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?

Peasant 1 : Build a bridge out of her.

Sir Bedevere : But can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Peasant 1 : Oh yeah.

Sir Bedevere : Does wood sink in water?

Peasant 1 : No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!

Sir Bedevere : No, no. What else floats in water?

Peasant 1 : Bread.

Peasant 2 : Apples.

Peasant 3 : Very small rocks.

Peasant 1 : Cider.

Peasant 2 : Gravy.

Peasant 3 : Cherries.

Peasant 1 : Mud.

Peasant 2 : Churches.

Peasant 3 : Lead! Lead!

King Arthur : A Duck.

Sir Bedevere : ...Exactly. So, logically...

Peasant 1 : If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.

Sir Bedevere : And therefore...

Peasant 2 : ...A witch!