So you want to pay for a pizza...

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Posted By: Julie

This morning, I got an e-mail from the ACLU (they get a small amount of money from me every month) graphically demonstrating how my identity, other personal information and the knowledge of what my maternal grandmother ate for breakfast most mornings could be STOLEN from me if I simply pay for a delivered pizza with a credit card.

My imagination immediately wandered to another, similar, scenerio. not identity thieves, but the F.B.I. Not a pizza, but Japanese baseball cards:

(two agents, a young one and an older one, are looking at my file)

"Hey, Joe. Look what Julie Vognar's into with her new credit card."
"Mm..and why are we watching..mm...a 69-year-old unemployed woman?"
"Father refused to serve in WWII. Son refused to serve in the Gulf War. Husband was conveniently confined to a mental hospital the date of his physical for the Vietnam War...'

Trio of draft dodgers. And she herself?"

Nothing remarkable, just quirky. Buys a lot of Chinese stuff, belonged to the Richard III society, gets weird old novels on Amazon, and lots of...baseball cards."

"For her son? Her husband?"

"Nope. Belongs with maximum esprit de corps to the Vintage Baseball Card Forum on Network 54."

"Good grief. Any other women there?"
"Nope. She's it.

"So what'd she buy?"
"3 1949 Japanese cardboard airplanes with batters in them."

"Lemmie see."
"
"
"Hey. Those are cute."
"More than half a K."
"You're sh***ing me!"
"Baseball cards are expensive."
"But those are JAPANESE."
"Yup. 3 Japanese HOF players from right after WW2: Kawakami
,
Os***a,
and Betto.
"How do YOU know?"
"It says so right here! Besides, my dad was in the army of occupation. He remembered Kawakami.
"The only Japanese player I know--besides the ones over here--is that guy who hit all the home runs. You know, with the real short name?
"Oh."

"Oh?"
"Saddaharu Oh. Over 900 home runs.
Humph. probably still wasn't as good as Ruth."
"Probably not."

"Does she vote Green? Socialist? Communist?"
"Democratic, usually."
"That's bad enough...but I think we ought to drop her; she's not going anywhere. Jeez...3 little cardbaord Jap airplanes.

(Os***a and Betto:
)