I miss the days when...

[JollyElm]

Based on watching my Mets in the playoffs, here are some quick, spitballed (pun intended) observations on the state of the current game by this former(?) baseball fan, enthusiastic vintage card collector, and growing-older-by-the-minute old man...




1. I miss the days when a player tossing a foul ball into the stands didn’t have to arc it high over a wall of netting.

2. I miss the days when teams didn’t need choreographers to continually develop new big play celebrations.

3. I miss the days when pitches 17 feet off the plate weren’t immediately pulled back into the strike zone in a ‘frame’ job.

4. I miss the days when runners actually went hard into second base trying to break up a double play and didn’t take their leave by genteelly presenting the shortstop with a hand-calligraphed, embossed invitation to a tea party.

5. I miss the days when batting helmets didn’t have “Eat at Joe’s!!” ads emblazoned on them.

6. I miss the days when those helmets didn’t have features enveloping 90% of the player’s head and face.

7. I miss the days when balls were meant to touch the dirt and weren’t immediately removed from play by the umpire.

8. I miss the days when stadium lights had a single setting, “ON,” and weren’t used as a tool like the game was taking place inside of a disco.

9. I miss the days when you didn’t need a second mortgage to afford a hot dog at a game.

10. I miss the days when it was perfectly acceptable to have a single blade of grass out of place on the field.

11. I miss the days when pitchers were actually expected to last past the third inning.

12. I miss the days when a player hitting a solo home run with his team losing 12 - 0, didn’t immediately seek out the TV cameras to do a celebration.

13. I miss the days when players didn’t have individual celebratory hand signals/gestures they directed at their dugouts each time they reached base.

14. I miss the days when the word “foul” wasn’t pronounced as a drawn out, two syllable word.

15. I miss the days when words like “disengagements” had no business in the baseball lexicon.

And finally...

16. I miss the days when I didn’t have to worry that Joe Buck might be calling the game I was about to turn on.


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