Fun At The Old Ball Park with Peewee and Diz - The Game is Dying

[frankbmd]

Fun at the Old Ball Park

Peewee: Well Diz, the 1957 season is about to kick off with the New York Giants facing the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field.

Diz: Yeah, Peewee, I can’t wait for this year’s inaugural rendition of the “Wabash Cannonball” in the late innings.

Peewee: I can wait. Diz, what do you think of the rumors circulating that this might be last meeting of these two teams on opening day in the Big Apple? Can you imagine doing this broadcast from Los Angeles or San Francisco next year?

Diz: Hogwash, Peewee, ya can’t take da bums out of Brooklyn and what would become of the Polar Grounds. Who’s up first, Peewee?

Peewee: The Giants are leading off with Red Schoendienst, Diz. He hit only 2 homers last year, but Manager Rigney claims he has been working hard on his launch angle in spring training.

Diz: Well I’ve spent the entire winter working on my lunch angle.

Peewee: I’ve noticed. Here comes the first pitch from young Don Drysdale. A strike swinging. You know, Diz, this kid has a low WHIP and a low BAbip. He could be around for a long time.

Diz: Your crossing me up Peewee. What’s this WHIP shit? I think I need a wipe not a whip. And I don’t have a Babaloo or a Babip. Maybe I should just start singing now. Where’s my Geetar?

Peewee: Don’t get your panties twisted, Diz. Everyone knows your OBP was less than .300, which was very respectable in the ‘30s.

Diz: Now you’re insultin’ me. I know I’m just an Old Ball Player, but no one’s ever called me an OBP before.

Peewee: Here comes the next pitch. The fastball hits Red in the crotch. He’s taking first.

Diz: But not as fast as he usually does, Peewee. i bet Red's redder than normal down there. That makes a stolen base unlikely even if he is wearing a cup.

Peewee: Can’t argue with you there, Diz. Spencer, the next batter, stands in. Not much power and a mediocre fielder. His best chance of getting on base is a base on balls.

Diz: Unless Drysdale decides to hit him too.

Peewee: Well that aint going to happen. He just fanned on three pitches.

Diz: I would have struck him out on two pitches if I could.

Peewee: No doubt. Next up is the Giants premier five tool player, Diz.

Diz: Huh! Bob Carpenter retired ten years ago in 1947. He had a ruler, a pencil, a saw, a hammer and a screwdriver.

Peewee: No, Diz, the third hitter is Willie Mays with bat in hand.

Diz: Where are the other four tools?

Peewee: Oh my god, Diz! I guess he just left them in the dugout. Even with just a bat, he is more exciting than the rest of the team combined.

Diz: What is his WHIP?

Peewee: He doesn’t have a WHIP, Diz.

Diz: No shit.