Introducing WTF Auctions

[Exhibitman]

Allow me to introduce WTF Auctions, the auction house where the first and last thought for buyers and sellers alike will be "WTF?".

Whilst others may dabble in the field we aim to be the most profitable auction house extant. The unparalleled mystique surrounding our hobby will forever drive the card market that has emerged as one of America’s foremost collecting and investment angles, AND WE WANT TO CASH IN.

Others try to hide their pasts, but not those of us at WTF Auctions. We proudly hire formerly incarcerated persons to handle the finances [your credit cards always welcome in our files!] and we are especially proud of our policy of hiring only persons with intellectual disabilities for our customer service and shipping departments. WTF Auctions feels it is imperative to hire persons with English as a second language; we believe in giving back to the community at large. They answer all of our phones. Our web site will truly leave you thinking "WTF". We have retained the finest programmers from the night shift in India to prepare our site for a true WTF experience.

Finally, a word on trust. "Trust" should be a four-letter word. Whilst other auctioneers make empty promises and hollow representations as to their integrity, we at WTF believe in calling a spade a spade: we want to make money, not friends. We can and do reserve the right to own any of the material being sold, set secret hidden reserves, permit our employees and executives to bid in the auction, provide inaccurate descriptions, make undisclosed restorations to the material, and/or intentionally not disclose any conflicts of interest. You make your bids, you take your risks, and you say WTF. That's the WTF promise!

Please do not hesitate to contact us; operators are standing by at 555-OU812.

God Bless,

The WTF Group

PS: a parody, not a real advertisement, just in case anyone was confused.