OT. Wives

[Il Padrino]

I read this entire thread this morning while enjoying my morning espresso and shortly thereafter headed outside for several hours to do some much needed spring cleaning in the garden. While out there I had a lot of time to think on this particular subject and my mind kept coming back to a few points, so please bare with me here.

Having read each post carefully I was reminded yet again just how many card collectors (based on this thread and other similar ones over the years) lie to their wives about the amount of money spent on their collecting habit.

Here's the catch: Why lie at all? If (< key word there) you are smart and collect items that have shown value increases historically, then this can be stated very easily as an investment. Unlike items that women tend to buy (e.g. shoes, purses, etc.) that do not increase in value the moment they are first used. I would not use that as the baseline of your argument, but there is truth in this statement. If you are taking care of all other financial requirements, this is not an issue.

Now, if you are lying to cover up spending money you don't have to spend then you are burdening your family to have a collection (sorry, just speaking the truth). If you are lying because you should not be spending said money on cards instead of putting it toward real debt, paying down credit cards, paying down loans, or investing in your ROTH (or other). Just my opinion, but a collection should be like an investment, but if you have real debt that needs paid down, you pay that first, invest second.

Then you must ask yourself "am I the only one lying in this family?". Who's to say that your wife is not also lying about spending? or other? If both of you are hiding money output from one another, how is it that you can sustain the most rudimentary baseline of trust? Even if both work it is fair to take a little for yourself, but then you should be marching toward a common goal as a team on a mission if you will and that incorporates integrity, trust, honor, etc. that are supposed to be within any successful marriage.

BREAK

My wife understands that I buy items and I show them to her from time-to-time when she asks about them. If I get something particularly unusual (very vintage) I make sure to show it because we both love antique items so very much.

Working together toward financial freedom is the key. It takes years of work, but once you are debt free you are debt free for life and with that comes trust in one another that you can endure and still find the $$$ to collect along the way.

Sorry for the lecture, just think that honesty is vital and if you are not being truthful, then do not expect that she is either.

Dan