How about an all-time jerks lineup?

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Posted By: warshawlaw

I'm talking criminals, crooks, racists, clubhouse poison, etc., but who also exhibit the best combo of playing skills and jerkiness.

C: Ray Schalk: Not a criminal or druggie but by all accounts a very unpleasant person to deal with as a teammate.
1B: Hal Chase: as crooked as they come.
2B: Rogers Hornsby: Such an A-hole he was traded 2x in 3 seasons despite averaging what, .350, during that time? When you have to hit .400 to keep your job, you must be a real piece of work.
SS: Any ideas here?
3B: Pete Rose.
RF: Albert (don't call me Joey) Belle. Biggest jerk of the '80s.
CF: Ty Cobb. Among his better known feats are beating a cripple, braining a black man who had the temerity to speak to him and so offending his contemporaries that they refused to deal with him after their playing days were over.
LF: Joe Jackson. He may have been ignorant, illiterate and kinda dumb, and yes Comiskey screwed him, but he did take the bribe money and sat in conspiracy with cheats.
P: Eddie Cicotte: 'nuff said
P: Steve Howe: aka if it's white it goes up my nose
P: Denny McLain: when you owe him money, you REALLY better pay him.
P: LaMarr Hoyt: Another "nosey" guy.
MGR: Tris Speaker. Had to work him in somewhere for KKK membership and fixing a game with Cobb.
GM: George Weiss, Yankees: Univerally reviled among those who dealt with him.
Owner: I could be sentimental and go with Comiskey, but I have to go with Steinbrenner.
Commissioner: Another tough choice. Do we go with the imperious Landis who never heard of due process or fairness (to wit, Buck Weaver), or perhaps the Babe's shill Ford Frick*? No, I have to go with Bowie Kuhn for the sheer combination of arrogance and stupidity.

Honorable mentions: Darryl "White Lines" Strawberry, Jose "Baby You Can Drive My Car But Stay Out Of Discos" Canseco, Dave "I Didn't Know It Was a Transvestite Hooker" Stewart, Ken "Crack" Caminiti, Barry "Half The Clubhouse Is Mine And It Was Flax Seed Oil" Bonds

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Posted By: JimB

I feel compelled to come to Steve Howe's defence. He was a drug addict and I feel sorry for him, but I don't think he was a bad guy.
JimB

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Posted By: Adam J. Moraine

This is an AWESOME thread, Warshaw! I'll try to come up with some later on.

best Regards,

Adam J. Moraine

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Posted By: identify7

This thread has serious humor potential. I hope to see Dick Allen and Bo Belinsky worked in here somehow.

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Posted By: Scott Mosley

Adam, how about instituting a DH?

Bonds is WAY too important to this teams makeup to be left out, IMO...

Edited to add a shortstop nomination:

Gary Templeton... There will probably be better nominations as this thread develops but thats the first one that comes to mind.

From what I remember he was quite full of himself, gave his own fans the finger on more than one occasion and pretty much forced his way out of St. Louis.

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Posted By: Daniel Bretta

I certainly wouldn't put Joe Jackson or Eddie Cicotte on that list. Maybe Charles Comiskey should be put in place of them.

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Posted By: Chuck R

Can we give a short-term placement on the team to Juan Marichal for beating the crap out of John Roseboro with a bat?

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Posted By: warshawlaw

but he doesn't have the same down in the dirt feel as the others...yet. I am hopeful that when he is indicted on Federal charges he will move up in rank.

As far as a DH goes, it would have to be someone who really was a DH, not just who would be a nice hitter to stick in there. I would respectfully submit that paragon of clean play, Jason "Tumor" Giambi.

If you're not cheating, you're not trying--Jim Rome

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Posted By: Daniel Bretta

SS- Alex Rodriguez.

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Posted By: Daniel Bretta

DH- Dave Kingman.

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Posted By: Jimi

I wouldn't put Joe Jackson in there either, and also I think you meant Albert Belle as playing in the 90s, not 80s (I was "fortunate" enough to see his major league debut in 1989).

Well, you may have to add Kenny Rogers in there for sending a cameraman to the hospital yesterday and breaking his finger punching a water cooler!

How about Milton Bradley?

Gaylord "Hmmmmm, what should I put in my hat or glove today?" Perry??







Jimi

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Posted By: Scott Forrest

I'm not including the "errors in judgement" guys such as Joe Jackson. It's difficult to leave Barry Bonds off the team, but the one time I had an interaction with him he was very nice to the fans.

cf - Ty Cobb
3b - Pete Rose
1b - Hal Chase
lf - Albert Belle
rf - Jose Canseco
dh - Reggie Jackson/George Foster
ss - Rogers Hornsby (more games at ss than Alomar, and I wanted both)
2b - Roberto Alomar
c - catchers are cool - I might put Canseco behind the plate just so he could take a few off his head.
p - Carl Mays
rp - Mitch Williams

manager - Bobby Valentine (BTW - he was very fan-friendly as a player)

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Posted By: Kieran

I am glad that someone mentioned Valetine..i mean beyond the temper tantrums and hiding in the dugout in diguise - he was a jerk on the field and off.

IF anyone is from Connecticut here they might have heard of the Bobby Valetines bar/pubs/slash whatever...let me tell you this guy is sleazy beyond words. He would hit on girl as young as they come and then sign a "card" of his with his phone number. Oh and the card he gave them was a picutre of him from the 60's.



"I have had balls thrown at me my whole life. When I turned 30 I started to really hate balls - I didnt like the smell, feel or taste!"

Yogi Berra - 1975

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Posted By: jay behrens

Mantle goes on this list as one of the biggest *******s I've met. Billy Martin belongs here somewhere too.

Jay

My place is full of valuable, worthless junk.

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Posted By: Glenn

Rickey "Today I am the greatest" Henderson.

edited to add: Sweet Lou as manager

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Posted By: Glenn

In baseball's defense I will say that this would be a much easier task if we were listing football players.

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Posted By: john/z28jd

Jesse Burkett and Johnny Evers who both earned their nickname, the Crab

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Posted By: Scott Forrest

Rickey Henerson absolutely has to be in the outfield, and Billy Martin in the dugout with Valentine.

Valentine also had two of his bars in Arlington Texas - I liked going there, but stopped simply because I didn't want to contribute to his livelihood. They both went belly up.

But on a friendlier note - I went to the Astrodome for my 16th birthday to see the Dodgers and Astros. There was this little guy with a huge smile running along the warning track before the game, waving at any fan who yelled at him. I thought the word "Valentine" on his back was a joke, but followed his career for a few years just because he was so fan-friendly.

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Posted By: Adam J. Moraine

Chuck R., How about short-term placement to Nolan Ryan. for the head-lock, pummeling, butt- whooping he gave to Robin Ventura.

Best regards,

Adam J. Moraine

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Posted By: Peter_Spaeth

BARRY BONDS.

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Posted By: Scott Forrest

I had considered Ventura for charging the mound in the first place. But yeah, it was obvious from the way he handled Ventura that Ryan could have probablly just stuck his index finger against Ventura's forehead and held him there until he wore himself out flailing away.

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Posted By: James Feagin

How about an all-vintage team? There is just too much to choose from in the modern game! I would either go with Lefty Grove or Art Shires

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Posted By: Julie

...and substitute Gandil and Risberg...and I'll second Comiskey.

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Posted By: Bob Rousseau

Bonds' little 'impromptu press conference' when he said "Look what you guys are doing to my family!" and indicated his son. Yeah, it was the press's fault a woman came forward around that time saying she was Bonds' squeeze on the side who he bought a house for with the proceeds from signing balls (y'know- so the wife wouldn't notice a chunk of his bank account gone). I thought what it might be like to have to be that kid at the press conference- "OK, now I have to look really sad because Dad wants everyone to feel bad". Bonds also said something about "You guys all want me to jump off a cliff, well, now I want to jump off a cliff. You win." Pathetic.

As far as Steinbrenner vs. Cominsky- I'm no George apologist, but at least he doesn't screw his ballplayers out of money like Cominsky did.

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Posted By: warshawlaw

Actually, I was thinking of Steinbrenner for his unique combo of outright criminality (convicted or pled guilty--I forget which--of funnelling illegal campaign contributions to Nixon), sleazy behavior (hiring a gambler/felon to dig up dirt on Dave Winfield to avoid making a contribution to his foundation), and 30 years of abusive treatment of players and staffers.

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Posted By: warshawlaw

that idiot who threw the chair into the stands last season. Can't recall his name.

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Posted By: Anson

Holy Crap, has nobody mentioned John Rocker in this thread?

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Posted By: Anonymous

you beat me too it!

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Posted By: john/z28jd

Derek Bell who in spring training in 2002 after coming off a season in which he hit .173 with 13 rbi's in 46 games while being injured the rest of the season, said......

"Nobody told me I was in competition. If there is competition, somebody better let me know. If there is competition, they better eliminate me out of the race and go ahead and do what they're going to do with me. I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will. If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is [a competition], then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991"


For those 13 rbi's over 2 years he got paid almost 10 million. He left the team,got on his yacht and sailed away.This guy was 3 years removed from his last really good season when he said that.

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Posted By: DJ

Okay, this day has turned into 'List' day so here we go:

1B- Pete Rose (where do I begin?)
2B- Jeff Kent (porn mustache, lied about how he got injured)
SS- Kevin Elster (I can't remember why but he makes the list)
3B- Pedro Guerrero (O.J Simpson claims Pedro was doing blow with Nicole according on a 911 tape. OJ doesn't lie, does he?)
OF- Kevin Mitchell (killed a dog in cold blood)
OF- Barry Bonds (parade sized head, overall bad guy)
OF- Joey Belle (tried to run over tricker treaters)
OF- Willie Mays (ever meet this guy at a Card Show?)
DH- Mark McGwire (I'm not hear to talk about the past...)
P- Bob Feller (man I hate Bob Feller)
P- Kenny Rogers (added this weekend, not the singer)
P- John Rocker (satan's son comes in the form of this ass-clown)
P- Warren Spahn (when I was a kid, he made me tell him that he was the greatest pitcher ever and when I did, he told me he signed enough and told me to get lost)
P- Bobby Chinourd (piss poor Arizona Diamondbacks middle reliever who blew a six run league v. Colorado like five years ago. Had $50 on the Diamondbacks and in my mind, spent the money. That summer, he threatened his wife with a gun.)

edited to say: George Steinbrenner owns the team and the chair thrower was some guy named Cordero for Texas.

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Posted By: Chris

I can name a few, Gary Sheffield( A REAL ASS) LOOK HOW BIG GARY SHEFFIELDS HEAD IS FOR CHRIST SAKE. HIS HEAD IS BIGGER THAN A PITBULLS! BARRY BONDS, ( I WOULDN'T CARE AND WOULD PREFER IF HE NEVER SUITED UP AGAIN). MARK MCGUIRE AND ANY OTHER IDIOT THAT WOULD WOULD USE DRUGS TO GAIN AN EDGE. (THERE ARE QUITE A FEW)

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Posted By: Glenn

The story, according to Doc Gooden, is that Kevin Mitchell decapitated his girlfriend's cat. I tend not to believe it. snopes.com did a nice even-handed presentation of it, as they do with almost everything.

http://www.snopes.com/sports/baseball/mitchell.asp

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Posted By: ramram

For starters:

Arlie Latham - supposedly topped them all.
1890's Baltimore Orioles team.
Cap Anson - Just ask every African-American ballplayer between Moses Fleetwood Walker and Jackie Robinson.

Rob M.