Traig tobacco for your help getting autographs.

[milkit1]

so I am wanting to get something signed by any of the following players but am having a hard time doing it so i thought Id try this as an idea. Follow this link to see what I have available:
http://www.net54baseball.com/showthread.php?t=149720
If you can get any of the below mentioned players for me on my item (Ill send you the item along with a SASE) I will trade you an agreed upon card from the list.
I am looking for:

Cal Ripken
Barry Bonds
Rickey Henderson
George Brett
Waly Joyner
Steve Bedrosian
willie mcgee
Ryne Sandberg
Lenny dykstra (curently in jail)
Mel Hall (in jail)
Keith Hernandez
Kevin mcReynolds
Nolan Ryan
George Bell
Mark Mcgwire
Jose Canseco
Ozzie Guillen
Ozzie Virgil
Robin Yount
Jim Rice
Brian Downing
email me at milkit1@gmail.com

I know this is probably a long shot but would appreciate any help I can get. Also I know some of these players are doing shows where they are charging insane rates, I just cant bring myself to pay $150 for George Brett. .
thanks for your help!