How much the wife knows about your collection

[Fred]

Does your wife know how much your collection is worth?

My wife has never asked me how much my collection is worth. She just knew it was something I did before I met her and she's really never asked me about it.

Would I tell her if she asked me? I guess I would but that's never happened. Besides, I don't know how much it's all worth.

Recently, I've been cataloging a lot of it because if anything should happen to me, it would be in my families best interest to understand the value. Also, I plan on creating a document on what should be done with it after I croak. An assumption is that they get it and can sell it at the current market value and not have to worry about the appreciation on it all.

[raulus]

She has a vague idea. If she asks, which isn’t often, I usually couch things in ranges, and explain that it’s all highly speculative in terms of the actual value, because you never really know until you actually sell.

Of course, I also keep a monthly balance sheet, and it’s right on there, although at a relatively conservative valuation. Part of keeping her up to date on our financial situation includes quarterly reviews of the balance sheet. Every time the number goes up for the collection, she inquires about the source of the increase - whether it’s from new acquisitions or appreciation in existing stuff. My guess is that she remembers that data point for about 30 seconds.

She can also never remember how much I make. So priorities, I guess.

[ValKehl]

Fred, IMHO, just as important as giving your wife/family detailed infor re your collection, is giving your wife/family the contact info for whomever (auction house, collector friend, etc.) you would want her/them to turn to to handle the disposition of your collection in the event you pass suddenly and unexpectedly.

[Casey2296]

My ex-wife knows nothing about my collection, my dog and girlfriend are ambivalent at best. My kids are fascinated when I show them a rare baseball card and explain it's history, we're all baseball fans after all (Go Giants!). They will definitely be in for a shock when I crossover (no TPG pun intended) and with my spreadsheet in hand send it all to Crisafulli's kid to auction off. I can only hope they use the money in a way that gives them as much spiritual/emotional enjoyment as I had putting it together.

[Rhotchkiss]

My wife knows, at least generally.

[Casey2296]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

My wife knows, at least generally.

Haha! I'm thinking she's a stockholder that ignores those annoying shareholder meeting emails.

[calvindog]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

My wife knows, at least generally.

Very lawyerly answer. Vague. Plausible deniability. Well done. LOL

[Jewish-collector]

Fred - Is it worth this amount ? In any case, do make sure some family member knows in case you pass suddenly.

https://memorylaneinc.com/smr21-newm...s-release.html

[theshowandme]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

My wife knows, at least generally.

I will never forget meeting you and your wife.

It was at the meetup in Virginia earlier this year.

Your wife said, “we left the good stuff at home”

LOL

[JimC]

Originally Posted by ValKehl

Fred, IMHO, just as important as giving your wife/family detailed infor re your collection, is giving your wife/family the contact info for whomever (auction house, collector friend, etc.) you would want her/them to turn to to handle the disposition of your collection in the event you pass suddenly and unexpectedly.

+1

[Centauri]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

My wife knows, at least generally.

I guess infinity is very much generally.

[DHogan]

My wife didn't know the value of my collection. I offered to sell it all to pay for her medical bills. Even though it wasn't worth a great deal. She said not to because I liked having it. She was a great woman.

[BioCRN]

Mine doesn't know how much my collection is worth or how much money I spend/make on it, but she's been with me on/off since the late 1990s and knows it's part of my life that's been around much longer than she has.

She sees cards go in and cards go out without asking about a running total of revenue. I don't spend a huge amount of time on it, so spending too much time with the hobby isn't an issue.

It's a somewhat modest high-5-digit value collection made up of sheer volume more than spectacular pieces, fwiw. Selling it all wouldn't make a very big impact in our lives and that makes it easy for both of us to tolerate it being a hobby rather than an investment.

I've snagged her some card pieces she loves. I got her various vintage cards of whippets (we have one) and the 50-card 1912 Willis "Roses" set that I'm going to have framed when we move to a bigger house (money for the house and move is there, timing isn't).

[Exhibitman]

She knows everything she wants to know and has access to whatever else she wants. Open book. I gave her and my daughter instructions about who to call for help.

IMO it is more important that a partner knows where the items are and has a trusted contact person in the hobby to call for help than it is for that person to know the details of the collection per se.

[jethrod3]

My wife and I enjoy playing games, and periodically, one of these games involves guessing the items that make up the SCD Top Ten Auction List that is published every 2 weeks. Though most of the items are modern while most of mine are vintage, she is starting to get a handle on the bigger ticket items I have, and between her and my kids, they know that most of the stuff that I have now has at least some value. But even I don't know everything about my collection----there's another thread here somewhere where several of us admit that we often find things in our collection that we didn't know we had, and are pleasantly surprised!

[pclpads]

The less she knows, the better. I don't ask her about her Chico's an Macy's purchases and she doesn't ask me about my card purchases. After 36 years, seems to work.

[JollyElm]

53. Ebaysion
Hiding your auction purchases from your wife, girlfriend or significant other.

[ClementeFanOh]

My wife doesn't know. I'm keeping no secrets from her, she simply doesn't
care. I have left instructions on who to contact if I die/get abducted by
aliens, etc Trent King

[mrreality68]

my wife controls the spreadsheet

I am fortunate my wife knows and supports my hobby(DOES not understand the infatuation with it) but supports it.

She looks at it as a diversification of our investments. And prays alot that I know what I am doing.

She just thinks I should go to a form of group support like AA but obviously for Card addicts

and when I have over spent she has given me some of her money towards it.

and I pray we never get divorced. lol

[brunswickreeves]

My wife actually encouraged me to get back into the card collecting hobby as a de-stressor during a two year Grad program, reconnecting with this part of my youth. It’s carried forward as a de-stressor of family medical challenges.

For me, the cards are second to the happiness of helping fellow collectors achieve their goals and engaging on/contributing to this wonderful platform.

[Johnny630]

No wife no worries :-) here !

[cubman1941]

Originally Posted by ClementeFanOh

My wife doesn't know. I'm keeping no secrets from her, she simply doesn't
care. I have left instructions on who to contact if I die/get abducted by
aliens, etc Trent King

I am in the same boat. My wife is aware I collect baseball stuff, when we go to a thrift store or antique shop, she will always point out gloves, bats and cards to me. She has no idea the value of my collection (nor do I) and I have an email from a great person here on Net54 that has said he will make sure things are handled properly (I trust him). Meanwhile, I continue to enjoy one of my life's little pleasures.

[fkm_bky]

Same as most here. She knows I love baseball cards, and knows the general value. She also knows I fund a lot of my purchases by selling off other cards, so what I spend isn’t critiqued. That said, we really never discuss them. Like many, I have documented all my pre-war items with value so it can be used if I pass.

Bill

[jchcollins]

Originally Posted by fkm_bky

Same as most here. She knows I love baseball cards, and knows the general value. She also knows I fund a lot of my purchases by selling off other cards, so what I spend isn’t critiqued. That said, we really never discuss them. Like many, I have documented all my pre-war items with value so it can be used if I pass.

Bill

Very much the same. She’s seen big bills, she’s also seen sizeable influxes to our account when I sell things. Other than trusting me to keep my head above water with it, she could care less and couldn’t tell you the difference between a 1959 Topps card and a 1989 Upper Deck.

If and when in the even of my untimely passing my family needs information, there will be spreadsheets and trusted individuals to contact.


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[pitburgfan]

I've tried to tell her. She is not impressed, they are just pieces of paper to her. I keep a spreadsheet with the price I paid and what the value range today should be. We just had a discussion last night about selling them at some point to pay for something we both want. She is more eager to do it than I am.

[parkplace33]

Originally Posted by Fred

Does your wife know how much your collection is worth?

My wife has never asked me how much my collection is worth. She just knew it was something I did before I met her and she's really never asked me about it.

Would I tell her if she asked me? I guess I would but that's never happened. Besides, I don't know how much it's all worth.

Recently, I've been cataloging a lot of it because if anything should happen to me, it would be in my families best interest to understand the value. Also, I plan on creating a document on what should be done with it after I croak. An assumption is that they get it and can sell it at the current market value and not have to worry about the appreciation on it all.

Yes, my spouse is aware. I have a separate insurance policy against the collection along with values of the highest cards. I also have POCs information for who to contact if something happens to me.

However, my plan is to actually sell most of the collection before it gets to that point. I have seen too often families that get stuck with large collections and have to deal with it. I do not want my family to have that burden.

[LEHR]

There are no secrets and I give the wifey as much information as she asks for, which typically isn't much. Should something unexpected happen to me, I have a detailed spreadsheet of what my collection contains, approximate value, where everything is located, and exactly who to go to when she's ready to dispose of it. I've also made it perfectly clear that I have zero expectations of her or anyone else in the family wanting to keep any part of the collection, so she could consign it the day after I kick off and I could care less at that point. I enjoy this hobby tremendously, but at the end of the day it's MY hobby and it's all just "stuff" anyway.

[steve B]

My wife knows a bit about my collection, and collecting in general.
I talk about the stuff I collect, and she generally has good insights like "You like the hunting a lot more than the owning" which seems off about someone who seldom sells anything.

We discuss any major purchases, and usually any bigger sales because if I'm selling something "good" I'm usually letting go of something I also really like.

But I am getting to the point in life where I have to consider limiting the large numbers of inexpensive and mostly boring stuff.

[todeen]

My wife hates card collecting. She knew I was infatuated with baseball, and Card collecting when we married. But we met in college when money was not existent - so I wasn't making purchases then. I guess she supposed I outgrew it. She is a penny pincher, and hates that I spend any money to add anything more. She is aware that I have collectors insurance, and what the amount is valued at should the house burn to the ground.

She calls ebay my mistress. And when I'm on my phone she asks if I'm talking "to my baseball card friends."

I don't like to talk about my collection in real life. So when my wife brings it up it becomes awkward. I hate when she brings it up in front of anyone besides my closest friends. I hate trying to answer questions from people.

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[Republicaninmass]

Was sure as heck checking my consignment check to see what all the fuss was about!

[butchie_t]

My wife put together the 1971 Topps Baseball set. She knows the value of the cards even though she may not know the overall value of the collection. I have no concerns as to her being able to get the most bang for the buck.

It is a definite advantage to have a partner that enjoys the hobby, while not as much, but still enjoys and shares in the hobby like she does.

Butch

[rjackson44]

my three girlfriends are clueless

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by rjackson44

my three girlfriends are clueless

Playa!

[Exhibitman]

Originally Posted by todeen

when I'm on my phone she asks if I'm talking "to my baseball card friends."

That's nice. Whenever I head off to a show, mine tells me to "have fun with the other dip$h**s."

[ricktmd]

Doesn't sound like any of the people posting have been through a divorce.

[cubman1941]

I've been through two and each time it took me down to zero so I had to start all over again. After the second, when I got back on my feet, I started collecting in earnest. My present wife knows nothing about sports (we have been married 30 years) therefore has no interest in me collecting. She collects clothes and shoes and I collect baseball and football. Keeps us both happy.

[CW]

Originally Posted by JollyElm

53. Ebaysion
Hiding your auction purchases from your wife, girlfriend or significant other.

Haha! Nice!

In the OP, Fred asks if your wife knows how much your collection is worth.

I'll bet that half, if not more, of the collectors on this forum don't truly realize or know themselves how much their collection is actually worth.

For some, it can be hard to keep accurate track of things. If you do take the time and put costs into a spreadsheet and hit the "sum" button to see the total amount, you may be genuinely shocked at the number you see.

[ricktmd]

Getting married later in life at age 40 (divorced 6 years later) we had a pre nup. I had and still have a baseball card bank account using separate property/ money (my own money prior to marriage). My ex-wife was more interested in our house in Los Angeles and other Real Estate I own that appreciated significantly. She wasn't interested or didn't think the baseball cards were worth pursuing and compared to the RE they were not. I am remarried for good, hopefully but still use separate property/ money that goes through my baseball card bank account. The value of cards is such these days that it would be a real bummer to fight over cards in addition to houses. In general divorce sucks and usually nobody wins.

[The Detroit Collector]

My marriage is an open book. She knows I love to collect and doesn't have a problem with it. She doesn't know much if anything about my collection. I've tried to show her some stuff I think is cool, but it doesn't impress her. She only knows a few of the big-name guys. Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Mantle and Miguel Cabrera (because I am a huge fanboy). Thats pretty much the extent of her sports knowledge.

[darwinbulldog]

Originally Posted by Fred

Does your wife know how much your collection is worth?

If she does, that makes one of us.

[jayshum]

One of the best posts I remember reading on net54 was someone saying that when he died, he hoped his wife didn't sell his cards for how much he told her he paid for them. I'm guessing his answer to the OP would be no.

[babraham]

Originally Posted by darwinbulldog

If she does, that makes one of us.

[boysblue]

My wife doesn't really take much interest in my collecting habits, though I almost always fill her in on larger purchases. She is trusting and quietly supportive. I am very fortunate.

[Fred]

Originally Posted by Exhibitman

That's nice. Whenever I head off to a show, mine tells me to "have fun with the other dip$h**s."

I think I like your wife.

[seanofjapan]

There is a significant difference between the question of “how much it is worth” on the one hand and “how much you spent on it” on the other.

I suspect that the degree to which the answers to these questions diverge from each other, and in what direction, is more salient in respect to the broader issue of maintaining the peaceful coexistence of a spouse and a collection.

[Texxxx]

My wife,while she was alive, didn't care anything about my collecting or how much it was worth. Her mouth would have hit the ground if I would have ever told her. As long as all the bills got paid on time and she could buy anything she wanted, she was happy. She didn't spend much.
Now my son is a different story. He collects himself, mostly 50's threw 70's stuff. He has a ballpark idea what it worth. I joke with him all the time that he is just waiting for me to die so he will get it. He just rolls his eyes.

[alywa]

Originally Posted by Rhotchkiss

My wife knows, at least generally.

That is the first time I've hit your link / viewed your collection. I gotta say, Wow! Best collection I've ever seen. Truly museum worthy.

[alywa]

I'm divorced, really starting heavily collecting during the divorce and afterwards. My current girlfriend knows the collection is significant, though doesn't know an exact dollar amount. I don't either, to be honest.

[alywa]

Originally Posted by ricktmd

Doesn't sound like any of the people posting have been through a divorce.

Thankfully my ex ignored the cards and our wine collection. Can't say the same for everything else.

[Vintageismygame]

Mine does. Card sales have paid for our wedding, honeymoon, and 30% down payment on our home. Sold off most of my triplicate and duplicate vintage sets and star cards (mainly newer cards ie: Brady, Lebron, Jordan, Griffey,) in 2021-2022 and purchased a lake house in MO and several hundred acres of pasture grass.

Looking at selling the rest of the duplicates (sets and star cards) in order to get ready to purchase a mountain house in CO once prices cool off in a couple years.