A little Covid humor

[DaveW]

A little Covid Humor . . .

• I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

• This virus has done what no woman has been able to do: Cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!

• Looking to trade a 24-pack of toilet paper and half a can of Lysol for a 4 bedroom house. Message me!

• Quarantine has turned us into dogs: We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

• My husband and I decided we don’t want to have children. We will be telling them tonight at dinner…

• Summer 2020 is like being 16 again...Gas is cheap and I’m grounded.

• I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.

• Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Feel free to add your own.

[steve B]

Actually had one in real life.
Did some work on masks for local hospitals at the makerspace. A couple of the other guys had a discussion about filters etc since one actually worked for a medical device manufacturer.

Once they found a solution, there was this awkward "not the high five, not a handshake, out of position for an elbow bump .... " They settled on a foot tap..

I turned to the other slightly old guy and said
"For 50 years it's been -don't kick your friends.... "

[Bigdaddy]

It used to be that you'd cough to cover up a fart.

Now you fart to cover up a cough.

#truestory

[ALBB]

thats some funny stuff !!

[ocjack]

My car is getting better mileage now. I'm up to 3 weeks per gallon.

Now I understand why my dog tries to run out the door whenever it's opened.

[samosa4u]

Originally Posted by bigdaddy

it used to be that you'd cough to cover up a fart.

Now you fart to cover up a cough.

#truestory

hahahahahaha!!!!!!

[hcv123]

I was Lol'ing at most of them - will definitely be paying them forward! Thanks for sharing.

[Snapolit1]

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

[ocjack]

Originally Posted by Snapolit1

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

She's a keeper.

[Case12]

When you order pizza just so you can meet someone new.

[Bigdaddy]

Originally Posted by Case12

When you order pizza just so you can meet someone new.

Old college trick.

[LibSuperstar]

Originally Posted by Snapolit1

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

Oh, that's love.

[kkkkandp]

Funny now in New Jersey. Probably won't be as funny in January!

[Republicaninmass]

Since covid lasted all summer, I wonder how many folks enjoyed corona with Lyme?

[tschock]

While the detective interviewed the bank tellers about the robbery, all they could tell him was that the robber was wearing a mask.

[Leon]

Originally Posted by tschock

While the detective interviewed the bank tellers about the robbery, all they could tell him was that the robber was wearing a mask.

I wonder if masked robberies have gone up during the pandemic? Another possible boon for mask makers.

Every thread...

[bnorth]

Originally Posted by Leon

I wonder if masked robberies have gone up during the pandemic? Another possible boon for mask makers.

Every thread...

That cart being pulled by 2 goats is awesome.