Bring some levity Now!!!!

[JollyElm]

Share your humor, we need it...


When you're a swinger, but social distancing means the only keys in the bowl are your freakin' husband's...

keysinthebowllady.jpg

[sycks22]

Favorite part of getting autographs are when 50 year old guys in front of me always ask the athlete if they remember them from 9 years ago when they signed a ball for them. It happened this year with Bert Blyleven. Bert rolled his eyes, it was priceless

[todeen]

I was teaching english to ninth graders and used the word floozy. A girl in class (primarily spanish speaking at home) asked what that meant. I beat around the bush for two or three rounds but she still wasn't understanding what i meant. Other students in class were really enjoying this dialogue, trying to see me not embarrass myself. So i finally said, "this girl sleeps around." My student then responded, "I still don't see what's wrong with taking naps in random places!"

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Rhotchkiss]

A friend posted this on Instagram a few dats ago; he is a geneticist and has a great sense of humor. Coronavirus pancakes for breakfast

[Brian Van Horn]

In no way am I referencing Marie Antoinette:

[ajjohnsonsoxfan]

Some levity for you....The manager of my softball team just sent this email to the team...

****
First off, I hope everyone is safe and healthy and stocked up on supplies. Man, we're in uncharted waters! I guess the only thing we can do is keep it close to home and practice strict social distancing.

I procured the game balls and the schedule last week, but that was before crap hit the fan. Now who knows if the season will be delayed or even cancelled. I hope not. At the very least I'm guessing the City will want us to play games without spectators, which would be a crushing blow to our fan base.

Meanwhile, as of 3/15/20, the CDC has issued new guidelines for community-based softball/baseball teams. Things will likely change, but I thought I'd pass them along.

1) No high-fiving.

2) No sharing of bats.

3) If you sneeze or cough into your mitt, the mitt must be burned and buried immediately.

4) If touch a base with your hand, the base must burned and buried immediately.

5) If there's a collision at the plate, both runner and catcher must be quarantined, in an apartment, in West Hollywood, for six weeks, splitting utilities equally.

6) Dugouts must be covered in plastic and properly ventilated. Music and dancing are allowed in these "safe zones."

7) If you chew sunflower seeds, shells must be swallowed. (See sect. 7B re: bloody rectum)

😎 If you're a player over 60, you can come to the game, but you have to sit in your car.

9) While high-fives are not allowed, ass slapping is acceptable, encouraged.

Miss you guys...see you on the field soon!

[JollyElm]

Man, the attention to detail is hilarious!!!!!
"...splitting utilities equally."

[LuckyLarry]

Toilet Paper Calculator
Rolls on Hand/Toilet Uses Per Day

https://howmuchtoiletpaper.com

[GeoPoto]

https://net54baseball.com/attachment...1&d=1584966499

[Jersey City Giants]

I just heard a guy interviewed on CNBC who said "Its like a dog making love to a porcupine. Sure it feels good but as some point he is going to say how much of this can I take." I almost spit out my coffee.

[Phil68]

The ultimate "print booger" Might be the ugliest Mint 9 card of all time? Poor Pete...can't catch a break

[samosa4u]

Originally Posted by JollyElm

Share your humor, we need it...


When you're a swinger, but social distancing means the only keys in the bowl are your freakin' husband's...

Attachment 390356

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!