Gout
I loved the answer from Jantz, but just in case my wife stumbles across this message while searching for the t208 Eddie Plank she wants to surprise me with, I'm going with my original answer.
Gout is one insidious creature. I wouldn't even wish it on a Braves or Mets fan in the rare event they were in a pennant race with the Phillies.
Don't get gout. Just don't...trust me
!!