Some levity for you....The manager of my softball team just sent this email to the team...
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First off, I hope everyone is safe and healthy and stocked up on supplies. Man, we're in uncharted waters! I guess the only thing we can do is keep it close to home and practice strict social distancing.
I procured the game balls and the schedule last week, but that was before crap hit the fan. Now who knows if the season will be delayed or even cancelled. I hope not. At the very least I'm guessing the City will want us to play games without spectators, which would be a crushing blow to our fan base.
Meanwhile, as of 3/15/20, the CDC has issued new guidelines for community-based softball/baseball teams. Things will likely change, but I thought I'd pass them along.
1) No high-fiving.
2) No sharing of bats.
3) If you sneeze or cough into your mitt, the mitt must be burned and buried immediately.
4) If touch a base with your hand, the base must burned and buried immediately.
5) If there's a collision at the plate, both runner and catcher must be quarantined, in an apartment, in West Hollywood, for six weeks, splitting utilities equally.
6) Dugouts must be covered in plastic and properly ventilated. Music and dancing are allowed in these "safe zones."
7) If you chew sunflower seeds, shells must be swallowed. (See sect. 7B re: bloody rectum)
😎 If you're a player over 60, you can come to the game, but you have to sit in your car.
9) While high-fives are not allowed, ass slapping is acceptable, encouraged.
Miss you guys...see you on the field soon!
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